Disclaimer: I hereby swear that I in no way, shape, or form, own any legal rights having to deal with Gundam Wing or the song 'I Wish I Didn't Know Now' as performed and owned by Toby Keith. The characters mentioned in this story are not mine and are the property of their respective owners. The plot for this story however is mine and mine alone. I do this solely for entertainment purposes, and stand to gain nothing financial wise. Thank you, and I hope that you enjoy this latest chapter of my story, brought to you by S. S. Shadow.
"talking"
'thinking'
song lyrics
They say that trust has always been an important building block, if not the very cornerstone in a loving relationship, possibly even more important then love itself. Without trust there can be no love, and in turn a loving relationship could not exist. For one Heero Yuy who had throughout both wars that he had partaken in, who developed a well earned reputation as the perfect soldier both in mind and body, the idea of loving someone, to put so much faith and trust into a single person seemed unreal to even consider. Then again the idea of child barely 15 years of age not only surviving, but playing a key role in the fighting involved and both outcomes seemed an even more preposterous thought. Heero did it though, and now 3 years later found Heero pursuing his feelings for one Relena Peacecraft. The feelings were mutual and for the next 6 months things appeared to be fine, but one truth that we all know about appearances is that they can be deceiving.
*I never ask where you were going*
*I never ask you where you been*
*I never called to check your stories*
*While you stayed out with all your friends*
Heero sat alone upon an empty stool at the counter of his kitchen. His wrinkled jungle green tank top and onyx black spandex shorts served as testimony to his haphazard appearance. A single letter, the cause of all his current emotional pain was gripped firmly in his hands as the words and their implications became in the form of twin beads of moisture that formed in the corners of his cobalt eyes, the only sign of emotion on his otherwise impassive face.
*I never tried to catch you lying*
*I didn't wanna know the truth*
*I'd rather go on loving blind girl*
*Then go on loving without you*
How long had he ignored the signs? The late nights at work with little or no advanced notice, spending less and less time together to name a few. Even Relena's very attitude towards him seemed colder as of late. There were so many arrows pointing towards this conclusion, but he had been a fool and turned a blind eye to it all, now he was paying the price. He couldn't turn away from this anymore, not when the proof was right there in his hands. He had given Relena everything of himself; his love, trust, loyalty, and she had betrayed it all, betrayed him!
*I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
*I wish I could start the whole thing over again*
*I'm not saying that you could ever be true*
*I just don't want to know how it ends*
*You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands*
*I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends*
*Oh I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
Sighing in exhaustion, Heero ran his left hand though his mussed up locks of chocolate brown hair. Truth be told he always had his suspicions about her, it was and still is in his nature to be curious about anything mysterious. When the first signs started to make themselves known he instinctively tried to get out, to break it off, but she swore up and down that it was nothing, that he was just insecure and that he should trust her. I guess you learn a few things about lying in politics because he did, and that was his first mistake. Convinced that she was all he really had, along with the fact that she was the first person he ever really trusted enough to confide in, it was hard to believe that she would hurt him like that, it just didn't seem in her nature. The funny thing though, was the fact that he could have avoided all this if he would have just followed his intuition and left when things began to go wrong. It served him wonderfully on the battlefield of war, why wouldn't do the same on the battlefield of love? Love and war, cut from the same mold, same rules of engagement applied for both, he had lost one while winning the other.
*I've always said what I don't know*
*Couldn't hurt as bad as leaving you*
*Turns out I knew what I was thinking*
*It ain't an easy thing to do*
He foolishly ignored it though, somehow hoping that it would be nothing, that what he was now reading was wrong, but it was the cold hard truth, plain and simple. Pulling himself up from his perch, Heero made his way to the bathroom to shower, the foul stench of his recent lack in hygienically care too strong for even himself to ignore any longer. As he crossed the room towards the bathroom, he hastily crumpled up the letter before tossing it in the nearby wastebasket. With the cause of his heartache disposed of, Heero closed the bathroom door as he went about his shower.
*Well I guess I should be going*
*I sure found out too much to stay*
*Please don't say you're sorry*
*I might wait another day*
After finishing, Heero, towel wrapped firmly around his waist, strolled over to the bedroom to change. After about thirty minutes Heero emerged looking like a new man. Clad in a black tee shirt and matching jeans, he shuffled over to the couch and threw on his dark sneaker. Reaching over to switch off a nearby lamp, Heero's hand grazed a framed picture of Relena and himself taken a while back, during happier times. Taking up the picture in his hands as he stood, Heero gazed in sullen longing at the memento of a now dead love.
*I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
*I wish I could start this whole thing over again*
*I'm not saying that you could ever be true*
*I just don't want to know how it ends*
*You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands*
*I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends*
*Oh I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
"Reaching down and switching off the light, Heero dropped both the picture and it's memory into the wastebasket where it joined the previously discarded letter. Smirking briefly in grim satisfaction, Heero grabbed his leather jacket off the coat rack next to the door and tossed it on while surveying the now darkened room one more time. Satisfied, he closed the door and headed out into the night. His first attempt at love had been a failure, but experience in the past taught him that one setback couldn't be allowed to completely discourage him from the his goal, if it was then he'd never have gotten anywhere, and this was no exception. Who knows, in the end this could have all been for the best.
*I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
*I wish I could start this whole thing over again*
*I'm not saying that you could ever be true*
*I just don't want to know how it ends*
*You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands*
*I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends*
*Oh I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then*
To be continued....?
Author's Notes: Well there it is, just like I promised, chapter 2 of my latest multi-chapter story in exchange for 10 reviews. I don't know if it's as popular as the first one though, and like chapter 1 this was the only alternative I could see to death in order to get Relena out of the picture, and now that both of our main characters are free to explore other options, it's time to bring them together which I will do in chapter 3 which is also one but needs to be typed. You'll only get to see it though if I get another 10 reviews (or if I just feel like it). I've also got a possible chapter 4 in the works but we'll see what happens with 3 and go from there. As brought to my attention, I DO indeed plan to write an extended version of my other GW story Old Love, New Love, but won't until I feel I'm ready to do so, otherwise I can't put forth my best effort in writing, and I'm sure no one wants to read only a half-way decently written story when it could be better. Anyways, once more I'm out of here until next time.
ADVERTISMENT:: If you liked this story or am a simple fan of Gundam Wing, then check out my other GW story 'Old Love, New Love'. In addition to these are my ongoing DBZ romance/action fic 'Love and War', and my Tenchi Muyo fic 'Rainy Day Lover' and it's sequel 'Lovers Revealed' I can assure you that any of these four stories make for a decent read an have been labeled as so by other readers