Pairing: Legolas/Haldir
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Angst
Notes: This is the last installment of my Little Elf Series. Major thanks for those who had shown so much interest in my work. Thank you also for your continued patience.
The Coming of Age
The years crept by slowly, yet inexorably as the waves tossing in the tempestuous storm – and before long, Legolas Greenleaf reached a mature age forty years of age. With his coming of age, it seemed as if he were no longer the Elfling he once was. Gone was the ready laughter playing upon his lips and the smile upon his face. Gone was the sparkle of youth in his blue eyes – the blueness merely a reflection of the sorrow he had endured in the past – merely hinting at his loss.
Each day, the morning brought little comfort and the night, little rest. The sun either revealed a slender figure roaming through the woods alone or with another Elf as they walked hand in hand through the sanctuary that Rivendell provided. Each night, the shadows hid his tears as he wept silently into his hands, murmuring his mother's name over and over again.
"Nana," he would whisper, his voice thick with tears and unheard by all except the surrounding darkness and the crickets that hid behind the cover of rocks and moss.
Yet, despite all his pain and all his loss, life went on for Little Elf until slowly but surely he withdrew completely from the shell he had long sought refuge in. Tonight, he laid his head upon Haldir's lap, his eyes turned upwards towards the heavens, silently mapping the stars and reveling in the soft, gentle light of the white moon above.
The grass was cool and soft beneath them, and the breeze blew softly, making the leaves rustle, producing its own unique melody that could soothe even the most tangled of nerves. And so for the moment – the one moment in time that he spent quietly with Haldir – Legolas became at peace with himself and with the world he existed in.
"It is strange is it not, Haldir? When something that is not supposed to be, come to be?" Legolas said, his voice dreamy and eyelids heavy from the gentle caresses of the evening breeze upon his face.
"Why, Little Elf, you speak in riddles," Haldir chided gently before bending down to brush soft kisses upon his friend's brow.
"Perhaps, though I cannot help but wonder. What does the future hold for us? The stars show nothing and yet I am certain that death is the only certainty. The awaited end. It is not sad, Haldir if immortals such as us… such as Nana… have to die? To face death before any of us are ready to accept it?"
"Hush now, how you speak," Haldir murmured, pressing a finger to Legolas' lips in an attempt to silence him. "Do not speak of such things. It is true that death is a sad thing. But it is better to die a noble death than to linger on and do no good in the world."
There was a short silence while Legolas pondered upon the wisdom of Haldir's words.
"Then you speak like a true Warrior. I do not wish to die, I think. I wish to live forever," Legolas said, as he reached out to tuck a lock of Haldir's hair that had been blown awry by the wind behind a pointed ear.
Haldir smiled as he shook his head.
"You will find that you will never have truly lived if there isn't anything you are willing to give your life for," Haldir replied, "But hush now. Do not dwell on sad things. Go to sleep and I will sing you the lay of Nimrodel as how your Nana used to do."
And so Legolas fell silent, his eyes fluttering close as he listened to the familiar tune, Haldir's sweet voice lulling him into a deep slumber. And before he drifted off, he imagined himself as he had been in the past, running wildly through the forests of Mirkwood with his mother's happy laughter ringing in his ears like the sweetest call of the birds in the early mornings of spring…
*~*~*~*~*~*
The shadows had awakened, or so it was whispered. Deep in the hearts of Men and Elves, a growing unease festered as the wind brought strange news of the return of an evil that was as old as the very rocks itself.
The forces of darkness had grown of late. Orcs grew in numbers in the Misty Mountains and goblins roamed freely at the borders of Lothlorien. Then there were the sightings – sightings of a winged beast that sometimes flew too closely to Rivendell, breathing its breath of fire, its shrill cries casting shadows of doubt and fear in their minds.
And somewhere in the city of Rivendell, Thranduil stood by the window of his sleeping chamber, his hooded gaze scanning the view outside, keen eyes looking towards the morning sun appearing over the mountains of the North. Already Lothlorien had been attacked and the Lord Celeborn had requested for the aid of Haldir to lead the Lorien Elves into battle. It was time then, Thranduil decided with a heavy heart. It was time for Haldir to leave Rivendell and return to the place of his birth – and judging from the severity of the situation in all three Elvish Cities, it was likely that he could never leave the Golden Woods… at least not until the last of the evil had been truly vanquished.
"But what then of Legolas?" Haldir asked, his voice harsh with sorrow and worry. For thirty five years he had stayed by Little Elf's side, seldom parting for long. For thirty five years he had been so used to the presence beside him, watching Legolas grow into the very adult that he had become. And to be separated now… to be parted after so long… the mere thought of saying his goodbyes to Little Elf seemed to be too terrible to bear.
"You have done all you can for him. He must now mend on his own," came the reply.
There was a short silence as the two Elves struggled with their own conflicting emotions… pulled in two directions by their hearts desires and by their responsibility.
"Then I have to do what I must although my heart bids me otherwise," Haldir said bitterly and began to turn from the room before a gentle hand stopped him.
"I have never truly thanked you for what you have done for him… what you have done for my son," said the voice quietly, its tone laced with a tinge of sorrow and a certain element of wistfulness.
Haldir gave a sad smile.
"There is no need to. You have done me a favour by allowing me to stay by his side for so long. There is nothing more I can ask of you," he answered just as softly.
A pause.
"You love him do you not?" the Mirkwood king asked, the question so direct that it took the Lorien elf by surprise.
"I do not know. Maybe…yes… yes I do. I do. I must. There is no other word that can adequately describe what I feel for him," Haldir said, stuttering a little with the rush of emotions that had sent a lump into his throat.
The King regarded him silently, his gaze serious and lips unsmiling.
"Did you not tell him of your feelings?" he ventured carefully. Haldir had to look away.
"'Tis not so simple, my lord. For Legolas to know that I love him and for him to love me back… it would be hard for him indeed. He is not ready to feel for he only sees the pain of parting from the people he loved most."
Silence still, broken only by the faint chirping of the birds upon the trees.
"Then I must envy you for you are able to feel what you want to feel and not think yourself any the lesser for succumbing to such emotions," Thranduil murmured, his eyes fixing upon the Misty Mountains in the distance.
"I've never told him how much I loved his mother nor did I mention my love for the child she bore me," he continued, his voice so quiet that it was nearly lost in the winds had Haldir not been so close to him.
Haldir paused before he laid a hesitant hand upon the regal set of shoulders.
"Perhaps it is time you let him know that you care. You are all he has now. There is no one else. Believe it or believe it not, my lord… but Legolas has always and will always love you. How can he not? You are in his very blood. You are his blood."
Another pause, the tension so thick a blade cannot possible slice through it. This time, the silence went on unbroken and so Haldir walked out of the room to tell Legolas the news of his impending departure from Rivendell.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"You lied," Legolas hissed, his eyes snapping in rare anger… and anguish.
"I must. I have to go. My people need me… surely you understand..."
"You said you would never leave!"
"Please understand…"
"I understand nothing! You made a promise to me, long ago. Promises are not meant to be broken!"
"Legolas…"
"Go then. Go back to your people. Once I thought that I will always have you by my side. Now I have no one."
With a sharp turn upon his heels and a flick of his hair, Legolas walked away leaving Haldir looking after him in utter despair…
*~*~*~*~*~*
It was time to leave. With a heavy heart, Haldir checked that none of his belongings had been left behind. His mount had already been readied by the attendants and he had long ago said his goodbyes to the Lord Elrond, thanking him for his hospitality.
He then walked out into the hallway, his heart weeping and his feet taking him further and further from the place where his heart lay to an unknown future – a future of bloodshed and suffering. He went past Legolas' room, noticing the door that was stubbornly shut and paused for the barest moment, a hand lifting to knock. But somehow, he faltered and he settled instead to lightly stroke the wood with his fingertips, trying to imagine Legolas on the other side of the barrier doing the same.
"Farewell, Little Elf," he whispered before he hardened his heart, stepped firmly away from the door and walked briskly to the halls below. He did not see the door opening behind him nor did he feel the weight of the pair of eyes that watched him as he walked away without once looking back.
A crowd had by then gathered before the gates, mostly consisting of Elf Women who were eager to see him off. They had liked Haldir for he was always gracious and polite towards the people of Rivendell and many had come to see him as one of their own kind.
The attendant loaded the Lorien Elf's belongings upon the back of the horse and helped him mount it. It was time. He had to leave. But a gentle hand upon his calf stopped him.
It was Legolas.
"I do not wish for you to think ill of me when we are apart, my friend," he said, his voice gentle and it. He could not find the words to speak. Words never come easily when one most needed it. It was, Haldir would think many years later, one of the ironies of life that would take an eternity to understand.
Legolas pressed something into Haldir's hand. It was the green leaf. The leaf that Annariel had found lodged into her hair. The very leaf that gave Legolas his name.
"Take this to Lothlorien. It is my wish and my mother's. See that a brooch is made out of it. Perhaps one day, I will go to the Golden Woods and would want to wear it as a reminder that I must become the very Elf that my mother wanted me to be… that I must become someone you will be proud to call your friend."
The horse reared, forcing them apart for it was eager to take its leave.
"Go now with my love. Think of me fondly. Farewell!" he cried as Haldir dug his heels into the horse's flank. With a last look into Legolas' face, he was off like the wind, the hooves of the horse barely touching the ground as it galloped away. It was the last time that the people in Rivendell saw the silver hair glinting in the sunlight because the Lorien Elf would never again return to the House of Elrond.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Several days passed and Legolas felt the loss of Haldir's presence sharply, the pain feeling like a knife being twisted in his heart. Rivendell no longer was a place of tranquility for it brought too many memories of the times he had spent with Haldir. It was time then. It was time to go home – to Mirkwood.
Thranduil was standing in front of his son, watching him pack his belongings in preparation for his return to Mirkwood. They were silent, words being made superficial due to their inability of conveying their emotions. So much to be said, yet neither could find to words to say it. It was too much. So, Thranduil broke the silence.
"You have come of age. Perhaps you will find a mate back in Mirkwood," he said, his voice belying the tumultuous state of his emotions. So close yet so far. He could not even remember the last time he had spoken to Legolas as a son – as a prince of Mirkwood.
Legolas did not look at his father, his eyes fixed upon the task at hand.
"There is no one who could compare to my mother. No Elf woman will ever take her place in my heart," he said flatly.
There was an uncomfortable silence as Legolas doggedly folded and put aside articles of clothes. Before long, it was done. He was ready to go.
"My lord," he murmured as he bowed before his father and turned to leave. A soft voice calling his name made him stop in his tracks. But he did not turn around.
"Legolas… after all that had been said…after all that had been done… in my own way I have loved your mother. And… and I have loved you."
Legolas bowed his head low, his hair hiding his face. There was nothing else to say. No words. Nothing.
And so Legolas walked away, leaving his father alone in the empty room... leaving behind his sad tale and his memories that will be unknown to all that lived except those who had already known him, the Little Elf of Mirkwood.
THE END
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Angst
Notes: This is the last installment of my Little Elf Series. Major thanks for those who had shown so much interest in my work. Thank you also for your continued patience.
The Coming of Age
The years crept by slowly, yet inexorably as the waves tossing in the tempestuous storm – and before long, Legolas Greenleaf reached a mature age forty years of age. With his coming of age, it seemed as if he were no longer the Elfling he once was. Gone was the ready laughter playing upon his lips and the smile upon his face. Gone was the sparkle of youth in his blue eyes – the blueness merely a reflection of the sorrow he had endured in the past – merely hinting at his loss.
Each day, the morning brought little comfort and the night, little rest. The sun either revealed a slender figure roaming through the woods alone or with another Elf as they walked hand in hand through the sanctuary that Rivendell provided. Each night, the shadows hid his tears as he wept silently into his hands, murmuring his mother's name over and over again.
"Nana," he would whisper, his voice thick with tears and unheard by all except the surrounding darkness and the crickets that hid behind the cover of rocks and moss.
Yet, despite all his pain and all his loss, life went on for Little Elf until slowly but surely he withdrew completely from the shell he had long sought refuge in. Tonight, he laid his head upon Haldir's lap, his eyes turned upwards towards the heavens, silently mapping the stars and reveling in the soft, gentle light of the white moon above.
The grass was cool and soft beneath them, and the breeze blew softly, making the leaves rustle, producing its own unique melody that could soothe even the most tangled of nerves. And so for the moment – the one moment in time that he spent quietly with Haldir – Legolas became at peace with himself and with the world he existed in.
"It is strange is it not, Haldir? When something that is not supposed to be, come to be?" Legolas said, his voice dreamy and eyelids heavy from the gentle caresses of the evening breeze upon his face.
"Why, Little Elf, you speak in riddles," Haldir chided gently before bending down to brush soft kisses upon his friend's brow.
"Perhaps, though I cannot help but wonder. What does the future hold for us? The stars show nothing and yet I am certain that death is the only certainty. The awaited end. It is not sad, Haldir if immortals such as us… such as Nana… have to die? To face death before any of us are ready to accept it?"
"Hush now, how you speak," Haldir murmured, pressing a finger to Legolas' lips in an attempt to silence him. "Do not speak of such things. It is true that death is a sad thing. But it is better to die a noble death than to linger on and do no good in the world."
There was a short silence while Legolas pondered upon the wisdom of Haldir's words.
"Then you speak like a true Warrior. I do not wish to die, I think. I wish to live forever," Legolas said, as he reached out to tuck a lock of Haldir's hair that had been blown awry by the wind behind a pointed ear.
Haldir smiled as he shook his head.
"You will find that you will never have truly lived if there isn't anything you are willing to give your life for," Haldir replied, "But hush now. Do not dwell on sad things. Go to sleep and I will sing you the lay of Nimrodel as how your Nana used to do."
And so Legolas fell silent, his eyes fluttering close as he listened to the familiar tune, Haldir's sweet voice lulling him into a deep slumber. And before he drifted off, he imagined himself as he had been in the past, running wildly through the forests of Mirkwood with his mother's happy laughter ringing in his ears like the sweetest call of the birds in the early mornings of spring…
*~*~*~*~*~*
The shadows had awakened, or so it was whispered. Deep in the hearts of Men and Elves, a growing unease festered as the wind brought strange news of the return of an evil that was as old as the very rocks itself.
The forces of darkness had grown of late. Orcs grew in numbers in the Misty Mountains and goblins roamed freely at the borders of Lothlorien. Then there were the sightings – sightings of a winged beast that sometimes flew too closely to Rivendell, breathing its breath of fire, its shrill cries casting shadows of doubt and fear in their minds.
And somewhere in the city of Rivendell, Thranduil stood by the window of his sleeping chamber, his hooded gaze scanning the view outside, keen eyes looking towards the morning sun appearing over the mountains of the North. Already Lothlorien had been attacked and the Lord Celeborn had requested for the aid of Haldir to lead the Lorien Elves into battle. It was time then, Thranduil decided with a heavy heart. It was time for Haldir to leave Rivendell and return to the place of his birth – and judging from the severity of the situation in all three Elvish Cities, it was likely that he could never leave the Golden Woods… at least not until the last of the evil had been truly vanquished.
"But what then of Legolas?" Haldir asked, his voice harsh with sorrow and worry. For thirty five years he had stayed by Little Elf's side, seldom parting for long. For thirty five years he had been so used to the presence beside him, watching Legolas grow into the very adult that he had become. And to be separated now… to be parted after so long… the mere thought of saying his goodbyes to Little Elf seemed to be too terrible to bear.
"You have done all you can for him. He must now mend on his own," came the reply.
There was a short silence as the two Elves struggled with their own conflicting emotions… pulled in two directions by their hearts desires and by their responsibility.
"Then I have to do what I must although my heart bids me otherwise," Haldir said bitterly and began to turn from the room before a gentle hand stopped him.
"I have never truly thanked you for what you have done for him… what you have done for my son," said the voice quietly, its tone laced with a tinge of sorrow and a certain element of wistfulness.
Haldir gave a sad smile.
"There is no need to. You have done me a favour by allowing me to stay by his side for so long. There is nothing more I can ask of you," he answered just as softly.
A pause.
"You love him do you not?" the Mirkwood king asked, the question so direct that it took the Lorien elf by surprise.
"I do not know. Maybe…yes… yes I do. I do. I must. There is no other word that can adequately describe what I feel for him," Haldir said, stuttering a little with the rush of emotions that had sent a lump into his throat.
The King regarded him silently, his gaze serious and lips unsmiling.
"Did you not tell him of your feelings?" he ventured carefully. Haldir had to look away.
"'Tis not so simple, my lord. For Legolas to know that I love him and for him to love me back… it would be hard for him indeed. He is not ready to feel for he only sees the pain of parting from the people he loved most."
Silence still, broken only by the faint chirping of the birds upon the trees.
"Then I must envy you for you are able to feel what you want to feel and not think yourself any the lesser for succumbing to such emotions," Thranduil murmured, his eyes fixing upon the Misty Mountains in the distance.
"I've never told him how much I loved his mother nor did I mention my love for the child she bore me," he continued, his voice so quiet that it was nearly lost in the winds had Haldir not been so close to him.
Haldir paused before he laid a hesitant hand upon the regal set of shoulders.
"Perhaps it is time you let him know that you care. You are all he has now. There is no one else. Believe it or believe it not, my lord… but Legolas has always and will always love you. How can he not? You are in his very blood. You are his blood."
Another pause, the tension so thick a blade cannot possible slice through it. This time, the silence went on unbroken and so Haldir walked out of the room to tell Legolas the news of his impending departure from Rivendell.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"You lied," Legolas hissed, his eyes snapping in rare anger… and anguish.
"I must. I have to go. My people need me… surely you understand..."
"You said you would never leave!"
"Please understand…"
"I understand nothing! You made a promise to me, long ago. Promises are not meant to be broken!"
"Legolas…"
"Go then. Go back to your people. Once I thought that I will always have you by my side. Now I have no one."
With a sharp turn upon his heels and a flick of his hair, Legolas walked away leaving Haldir looking after him in utter despair…
*~*~*~*~*~*
It was time to leave. With a heavy heart, Haldir checked that none of his belongings had been left behind. His mount had already been readied by the attendants and he had long ago said his goodbyes to the Lord Elrond, thanking him for his hospitality.
He then walked out into the hallway, his heart weeping and his feet taking him further and further from the place where his heart lay to an unknown future – a future of bloodshed and suffering. He went past Legolas' room, noticing the door that was stubbornly shut and paused for the barest moment, a hand lifting to knock. But somehow, he faltered and he settled instead to lightly stroke the wood with his fingertips, trying to imagine Legolas on the other side of the barrier doing the same.
"Farewell, Little Elf," he whispered before he hardened his heart, stepped firmly away from the door and walked briskly to the halls below. He did not see the door opening behind him nor did he feel the weight of the pair of eyes that watched him as he walked away without once looking back.
A crowd had by then gathered before the gates, mostly consisting of Elf Women who were eager to see him off. They had liked Haldir for he was always gracious and polite towards the people of Rivendell and many had come to see him as one of their own kind.
The attendant loaded the Lorien Elf's belongings upon the back of the horse and helped him mount it. It was time. He had to leave. But a gentle hand upon his calf stopped him.
It was Legolas.
"I do not wish for you to think ill of me when we are apart, my friend," he said, his voice gentle and it. He could not find the words to speak. Words never come easily when one most needed it. It was, Haldir would think many years later, one of the ironies of life that would take an eternity to understand.
Legolas pressed something into Haldir's hand. It was the green leaf. The leaf that Annariel had found lodged into her hair. The very leaf that gave Legolas his name.
"Take this to Lothlorien. It is my wish and my mother's. See that a brooch is made out of it. Perhaps one day, I will go to the Golden Woods and would want to wear it as a reminder that I must become the very Elf that my mother wanted me to be… that I must become someone you will be proud to call your friend."
The horse reared, forcing them apart for it was eager to take its leave.
"Go now with my love. Think of me fondly. Farewell!" he cried as Haldir dug his heels into the horse's flank. With a last look into Legolas' face, he was off like the wind, the hooves of the horse barely touching the ground as it galloped away. It was the last time that the people in Rivendell saw the silver hair glinting in the sunlight because the Lorien Elf would never again return to the House of Elrond.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Several days passed and Legolas felt the loss of Haldir's presence sharply, the pain feeling like a knife being twisted in his heart. Rivendell no longer was a place of tranquility for it brought too many memories of the times he had spent with Haldir. It was time then. It was time to go home – to Mirkwood.
Thranduil was standing in front of his son, watching him pack his belongings in preparation for his return to Mirkwood. They were silent, words being made superficial due to their inability of conveying their emotions. So much to be said, yet neither could find to words to say it. It was too much. So, Thranduil broke the silence.
"You have come of age. Perhaps you will find a mate back in Mirkwood," he said, his voice belying the tumultuous state of his emotions. So close yet so far. He could not even remember the last time he had spoken to Legolas as a son – as a prince of Mirkwood.
Legolas did not look at his father, his eyes fixed upon the task at hand.
"There is no one who could compare to my mother. No Elf woman will ever take her place in my heart," he said flatly.
There was an uncomfortable silence as Legolas doggedly folded and put aside articles of clothes. Before long, it was done. He was ready to go.
"My lord," he murmured as he bowed before his father and turned to leave. A soft voice calling his name made him stop in his tracks. But he did not turn around.
"Legolas… after all that had been said…after all that had been done… in my own way I have loved your mother. And… and I have loved you."
Legolas bowed his head low, his hair hiding his face. There was nothing else to say. No words. Nothing.
And so Legolas walked away, leaving his father alone in the empty room... leaving behind his sad tale and his memories that will be unknown to all that lived except those who had already known him, the Little Elf of Mirkwood.
THE END