Part Three: Dreams Fly Out The Window

"Do you think there's such a thing as fate?" Hyde turns to look at me. We're sitting on the couch in the basement watching Wheel of Fortune and the rest of the gang has left. My voice is slightly high pitched and I cough. Hyde grips his beer closer.

"I don't know Forman. I mean - everything's so complicated now." He rubs his forehead and takes off his glasses.

"Is this about, well, you know." He hates saying her name almost as much as I do. He's afraid he'll upset me again and none of us want that. I don't want that. Except after a couple months, it isn't as painful as it used to be. I still can't breathe right when I think about her, but it's numbed a bit. And Hyde helps numb the pain.

"No." I sigh, "I just wondered if there really is such a thing as fate." Hyde took a drink. He set the can down on the floor.

"Look Eric, I don't know. I ask myself everyday if she was supposed to live or die. I ask myself everyday why it had to be her. And the only thing I can think of is that it happened. I don't know why, and I don't care. All I care about is that Donna is gone and you're here. And I hate myself for thinking that but man, if you were gone, I...I don't know what I'd do." He looked up to meet my gaze. I swallowed. Everything, all my memories of Steven, come rushing back.

The helping when I was down, the hand holding, the pokes and prods. Almost getting caught stealing stuff from the drugstore. The first time I got high with him. The thunderstorm where we got caught in the abandoned garage and were too scared to go home. The first time I got incredibly drunk with Steven. The first time I met him. The time I broke my left arm falling off the fence around my neighbor's yard. The first time I kissed him.

We were kissing again, and this time he wasn't drunk and I was sure of what I wanted. This time there was less fumbling and nervous laughter and swearing to forget it. This time it was for real.

I kissed him open mouthed. Tongues intertwined, danced, and met again. Everything felt so good, so perfect.

Donna.

I pushed Steven away enough to break the kiss, shaking. Steven didn't move. I took a deep breath. I wanted to forget about Donna. I didn't want to forget Donna.

I wanted to think about Steven.

Steven brushed feather-light touch at my temple.

"I can't help you forget her Eric. I can't forget her." I nodded.

I fell asleep in his arms, happier even through the pain we shared. Donna was a memory as I brushed a light kiss on the side of his mouth and closed my eyes. It was a nice feeling. Warm and . . . protected.

That was an odd word. Protected. Safe. I had never felt that with Donna. I was too busy trying to be the one protecting her. It was nice, this feeling. This sense of uncomplicated. As my mind drifted to painted dreamscapes of black and gold, I thought I heard Steven whisper:

"It's the thought that counts Eric; how you remember things matters more than what happened."

I am not lost. I am found.

I am alive.

And there is Steven.

And that's that I guess. I hope you like it. Please, no flames. If you send 'em, I'll take 'em off, and then feed them to my chimera. Oh, by the way, flames don't exactly hurt me. They only make you look silly, especially if you send them after all the warnings I put up. *shakes head* Well, better go, so lemme know what you think of this. Ta for now. ~*~Terra Rain~*~