It was heartbreaking, to say the least. In the past years, she felt a connection and a literal bond with her leader. Harboring feelings for him that felt wrong yet right at the same time. There had been times when she thought maybe these were just normal feelings you feel with your friends and loved ones though she never felt anything like this when paired with another member of the team. Only when dealing with matters of Robin would there be the proverbial butterflies in her stomach. An uncomfortable flame rose inside of her whenever he was around or when he showed her attention. She thought maybe it could be reciprocated. He showed her special attention whenever she felt off. He made her feel appreciated. He simply made her feel.

And in one moment it was shattered. They were in Tokyo following a villain that had attacked Jump City. After some effort of heroism, the bad guy was defeated and the good guys stood triumphant.

But then why did her legs feel so weak?

In the aftermath of the battle, Robin had rushed immediately to Starfire. Nothing too out of the ordinary. He was their leader. He cared for them all. Though when he grabbed her from the pile of ink they did the unthinkable. They had kissed.

The rain served to hide her tears well. Raven had many years to learn how to hide her emotions, so it was easy to not show her teammates the turmoil she was experiencing.

Eventually, they returned home. Secretly, she already teleported herself back to her room when they were somewhere over the ocean. After her portal had closed her bottled emotions opened. Tears in amounts she never thought possible came forth. Yells and screams at the unfairness. Hate. Anger. Jealousy. Sadness. Dejection. Any and every emotion she could feel poured out of her. Unintentionally parts of the tower also felt this hurricane of emotions. Windows in random hallways. Dishes in the cabinets. Through practice, she had learned to tone down the random destruction her emotions could cause but that was enough at this time.

Both Robins' and Starfires' rooms were trashed equally. It wasn't fair to her. She had an emotional connection to him. They had things in common. She knew his name. But she just gets to be and wins his affection. It was not fair.

If she were a lesser person she would take these negative feelings out on them but she was better than that. She practiced control for this reason and in control, she would be.

When her team eventually returned they were surprised by the rampant vandalism. Luckily, no one had noticed Ravens' departure from the ship. So it was chocked it to some villain somehow sneaking in without realizing they had left. She had teleported to the landing pad to feign surprise with them and any remarks to her somewhat disheveled appearance were met with ignorance.

At this moment she was a glass on the edge. A push, no matter how slight, would push her off the edge. It took all her effort to not lean off the edge. But it didn't matter what she wanted. Again reminded of those two. Star was attached to him and he was smiling as if there were no wrong in the world. The emotions struggling to release themselves and Raven trying her hardest to push them down proved to be too much for her. And so she fell.

Waking in a familiar room there was calm. Until she remembered. Her barely bottled emotions had exploded but in a twist of fate, she had fainted. She was lucky. Sitting up her head was assaulted by a splitting headache.

"How are you feeling?"

There was a hand on her shoulder. It was a familiar comfort she had grown to like coming from him but now it felt wrong. She shrugged it off and turned from him.

"I'll take that as a no" Standing up he repositioned so he could look her in the eyes. "Tell me what's wrong Rae." She ignored him. The more words he spoke the more the dagger in her heart twisted. "When you collapsed on the roof it seemed like you pushed away everyone but me." She ground her teeth in anger. Of course, subconsciously her mind would do something like that.

"I'm fine. Just a fluke or something. I barely meditated when we were in Tokyo." His shoulders seemed to loosen up a little. He probably believed her. Even though it wasn't exactly a lie.

"Alright, if that's what you say it is, I'll trust you." Stepping toward the door to her room he stopped for a second. "If you need anything." He held up his communicator. "Just call." With that, her door slid shut and her room was empty again. It hurt to make him leave, but she believed that pushing him away would be the best. The less she felt for him the better she would be is what she thought.

She stayed in her room for three days. On the second-day Control Freak escaped and the Titans mobilized as they always do, but Robin was fine with letting Raven stay at the Tower. He knew she needed time to be alone.

Control Freak went down with ease. Robin made sure he was handed over to the authorities and headed home with the rest of the team. Star had become more, hands-on, since Tokyo. So she elected to ride with him on his R-Cycle. Arriving home he parked his bike and took his helmet off. Starfire was semi-glued to his side as he walked towards the main room. The pair watched TV for a few hours until Starfire decided to go to bed. After another hour or so he decided to do the same. On his way to his room, his curiosity got the better of him. Heading over to Ravens' room he planned on just checking on her. As he raised his hand to knock on her door he heard slight noises from inside. Putting an ear to the metal he could make the noise out as quiet crying. Initially, his hero instinct told him to go inside and make sure she was fine, but he hesitated. She would want to be left alone. 'I could just make it worse.' is what went through his mind. With worry in his mind, he retired to his room.

Raven awoke in her darkroom. A clock on her nightstand told her it was sometime in the afternoon. Looking at herself in the mirror she was disgusted with herself. Her hair was matted and greasy. The tip of her nose was red as were her cheeks. Her eyes were also red and puffy. Slowly she stood up to shower in the bathroom that every Titan had in their room. To wash away the embarrassment that showed on her face. Tentatively she removed her cloak and leotard and stepped into the steamy shower. Normally she would shower in a matter of minutes but this time her mind wandered elsewhere. Thoughts and emotions that were in her mind. Letting the water run down her face as she wandered her mind.

After a while of standing in the water, she remembered that she was there to clean herself. Finishing up, she stepped out of the water and wrapped a towel around her body. Now dry she looked at herself in the semi-fogged window and looked away a moment later. She couldn't even look herself in the eyes. How would she react when she saw him?

Walking back to her room and towards her closest, she was stopped by a knock on her door. Ignoring it she began sifting through her clothes, oddly enough her wardrobe consisted mostly of the same cloak and leotard. There were other articles of clothing that Star had convinced her to get but she never felt comfortable in other clothes. Reaching for her usual outfit there was another knock. A little annoyed she swiftly crossed the floor to the door and opened it a bit to tell away whoever it was.

"What do you wa-!"

"Are you feeling any better?" Of course, it was him. When he was definitely out of her reach was when he gave the most attention to her. Sliding the rest of the way the door revealed the rest of her. Robin looked away from her as it happened.

"Do I look weird or something?" She put a hand on her hip, forgetting what she was wearing.

"No no, of course not! Just not trying to look anywhere I shouldn't." Her splotchy cheeks were replaced with a burning pink as she remembered what little she had on. The door slid shut immediately as Raven was recovering from yet another embarrassing encounter.

"I'm fine, Robin. Please go." With a 'Yeah' Robin slunk down the hallway towards his next destination.

It took about an hour for her to calm down after getting dressed. With a slow pace, she walked toward the common room to read as she normally would. Before getting to the doorway that would grant her access to the door she paused. If she concentrated for a second she could essentially 'feel' the auras of the people around herself. Closing her eyes and silently chanting-she felt who was already in the room ahead. There were two people. Two people that were very close to each other. A very educated guess told her what she needed to know. Turning on her heels she decided to read somewhere else in the Tower. She walked up to the roof but it was way too windy today to relax. Deciding whether or not to try and hang out with Beast Boy she eventually decided against it. Walking to random parts of her home was both refreshing and annoying. She just wanted to relax with a book somewhere. Multiple floors of random unused rooms and some parts that were just technical parts for the Tower to function. None of these would serve. Eventually finding the bottom floor she could hear loud noises. Metal hitting metal, electronic buzzing, and a myriad of other noises that she knew the source of. Walking into the garage she found a spot away from her teammate, started floating, crossed her legs, and began reading her book. Neither of them disturbed the other as they were focused on their own activities. That was until Cyborg slid out from underneath the T-Car and began putting his tools away.

"Alright! Now it's time for some well-deserved lunch-AH!" The sudden outburst caused Raven to fall out of her position and fall to the ground. Rubbing her backside she slowly stood back up, slightly glaring at Cyborg.

"Thanks for that."

"Yeah, well, usually when someone comes in here they announce their presence."

"You should know, that's not my style."

"Whatever you say." He wiped his hands with a rag hanging off his shoulder. "How have you been anyway? You had us all worried when we got home." An uncomfortable question asked genuinely. She shifted the weight to her other foot nervously.

"I'm fine. I swear. Just didn't get a chance to-"

"To meditate, right. That's what Robin told us."

"So why ask if you knew already?" She stood with her hand on her hip staring at him.

"Because what doesn't make sense to me is when I see on my sensors that you weren't on the T-Ship a couple of hours before we got back. Only for you to reappear behind us like you were there the entire time." There wasn't any anger in the look he gave her or in the tone of his voice. Mostly, genuine confusion.

"It's, well. I-I uh-" She couldn't piece her thoughts together. She thought no one had noticed. She didn't come here to be confronted. She was simply overwhelmed.

"Hey, I'm just worried about you, is all. You're like the little sister I never had. I just want to make sure you're ok." He turned towards the door and began exiting. "Now, I'm gonna get some food. You're more than welcome to join me." Turning away again he was stopped by a sudden raised voice.

"It's Robin, okay? Robins the reason." Tears started forming at the edge of her eyes. Cyborgs' instincts kicked in and he rushed to her.

"Did he do something to you? I swear if that little greaseball did anything to hurt you-"

"No. It's nothing like that. He didn't do anything to me, more like a lack of something if anything." Quickly Cy grabbed some random things from around the garage to serve as chairs.

"What is it like then? If he didn't hurt you like that then what else- Oh. Oh, wait. Then that means you- Wow. I never would have guessed." Sheepishly she looked down at the book she was gripping tightly. "So it was the kiss then? I guess that might set anyone off."

"Can we focus?"

"Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm just flabbergasted, to say the least." He was visibly shocked. "When did this even start? I need to know the details!" Shakily at first, she listed off the times that most likely led to her infatuation. Most notably recounting how Robin saved her from Trigon from her point of view. She inadvertently started rambling about the little things she liked about him or the things he did for her that she wouldn't stop thinking about after the fact. A small smile forced its way to her face as she was reliving these thoughts. It only made it that much harder when she returned to reality. The reality in which he would never be hers. The tears soon started slowly streaming down her face. An all too familiar feeling now. Cyborg offered her a somewhat oil-stained rag that she accepted. "Yup, that makes sense now. So, the tower being trashed was your doing too? I totally understand if so." She nodded slightly.

"It hurts because I stupidly thought I had a chance but then it hurts all over again knowing that no matter what I can never have him anyway." A few more tears forced their way to her face as she wiped them away.

"This is a difficult situation."

"Tell me about it. I didn't know I could cry that much." She offered a not so reassuring smile.

"Alright. How about we try to take your mind off of this?"

"How so?" She raised an eyebrow at the question.

"We have a whole city worth of things to do. Anything you can think of I'm sure we can find it somewhere." She felt some excitement at the prospect. She couldn't say no.

"Can I get ready first?"

"Of course. All things permitting, this day is gonna be all about: you. So, take as much time as you need!" With that, she quickly teleported back to her room. She never paid any mind to her clothes but something made her reconsider at this moment. Taking a look at what clothing options she did have it took a bit of mixing and matching to find an outfit she liked. Starting with a somewhat loose white T-shirt tucked into a pair of dark high-waisted pair of ripped jeans. She put on a black jean jacket and a pair of dark platform boots that she felt were overpriced. After a moment of deliberation, she decided to try and put on makeup, to make herself feel at least a little prettier. A little bit of eyeliner and lipstick served to make herself more presentable in the short amount of time she allotted herself. She also grabbed a dark purple purse that had everything she needed in it. If she was to dress like a civilian she needed to act like one too. Though with Cyborg with her everyone would know who she was as well. Deciding to walk to the garage to get used to her boots she quickly walked towards the elevator.

"Oh hey, Raven." Again he appeared. In a quick movement, she turned to face him. "I like the new look."

"Thanks." She really didn't want to be there.

"I'm surprised to see you out and about. Feeling better I take it?" He offered a genuine smile. This time she was too annoyed to be civil with her leader.

"Don't you have a girlfriend to hang out with?" It came out ruder than she intended but her intention was still made clear. She felt proud of herself until she saw the crestfallen expression that took over his face.

"Well, we kinda decided to take things slow. Real slow. Everything was moving super fast for both of us, it felt weird."

'Oh.' Like out of a fairytale her love interest had suddenly become more attainable. This felt wrong. Like being offered a million dollars for no real reason. "But you two are still together?"

"Oh, yeah. Just going together at a pace that's easiest for us." Her happiness had shattered mostly as he said that. Still unattainable. Still so far out of reach.

"I see. Good luck with that." Turning back towards the elevator she hurried inside and sighed as the door closed. Why must he always be there when she expects it the least. She just wanted to keep her mind off of him. He was happy right now. Why couldn't he let her try to be too? The elevator ride was short and she quickly made her way to the T-Car.

"You ready to go out on the town?"

"Definitely. Sorry for taking so long."

"Don't even worry about it." Cyborg opened the car door and sat inside. "I'm loving the outfit by the way." A smile told him that she appreciated the compliment. Her mechanical chauffeur began driving aimlessly towards downtown Jump City.

Hiiii, my friends! It has been far too long since I've written anything and even thought of posting it. I will hopefully be updating the stories I have in progress some time. Though I have a really bad commitment problem when it comes to consistently writing and updating my stories. One thing that kinda makes my workflow worse is constant wrist pains that have developed in the time that I've been absent, so I can't really type for that long without being in pain. Anyway anyway, I had this idea for how Raven might've reacted to the ending of Trouble in Tokyo, my own headcanon anyway. Rewatching the show reminded me of all the reasons I loved it and found new reasons too. Apologies if the story isn't that great. I really just wanted to put words down as they came to me, also if it ended a bit abruptly I'm sorry but I kinda didn't know where I was even going and wasn't sure if there is gonna be an 'ending' to this story-I could leave it open-ended or if I get like one person telling me to write more for it Ill probably do it.

Enough of me rambling on and on.

But I do want to thank each and every one of you that has read, liked, favorited, reviewed, or commented on my stories. It is a huge dopamine hit when I remember that I've maybe made something that someone enjoyed for a couple of minutes. I love you all!

Ok byeeeeeeeee