Birth of a Juke Box Hero pt. 5
To Red Witch: Thanks for reviewing! You and Zauriel are the only ones who have reviewed. I guess in many of the readers' minds, the Marvel Universe is not quite ready yet for a rock 'n' roll superhero. Despite this, I'm continuing on with this story.
Previously on Birth of a Juke Box Hero: Kid Razor engaged in battle with the feral mutant monster named Sabertooth. However, they say that the only way to beat a feral mutant is with another feral mutant. Since Razor is neither feral nor a mutant, he got whooped easily, despite his enhanced reflexes, agility, and reaction time. Bobby's friends and bandmates hid out alongside the mutant known as Jubilee, who appears to have a major crush on Razor! Anyway, several other villains also want a piece of the Ultimate Rockstar, and backup is racing to the rescue!
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"Heh. Gotta admit, kid. You can take a lickin'." Sabertooth smirked. Razor gave Sabertooth a cocky look.
"Go ahead, Kitty. Try to sharpen your claws on me, you hairball!" Razor dared. Sabertooth leapt with a roar. Razor dropped to his butt, and used his feet and legs to catapult the feral mutant out through the hole in the wall and out the building. "Stupid hairy cat-wannabe jackass." Razor insulted as he got back to his feet. A metal tentacle lashed out of nowhere and clutched Razor by the waist. "Hey!" The tentacle pulled him towards the source: a short, plump man with brown hair in a bowl haircut, black shades, and a green costume. The tentacle was one of four, sprouting out of a metal pack on his back. Razor gave the man a deadpan look. "Let me guess. Arm- Man? Fat-Ass-With-Four-Arms?"
"Hmmph. Spider-Man was never that cocky." The man smirked. "They call me Doctor Octopus."
"With that cheap haircut, they should call you Dr. Bad Hair Day." Razor quipped, pointing at Doc Ock's hair. "That is the cheapest wig I have ever seen." Doc Ock got mad.
"NEVER INSULT MY HAIR!!!" He mentally commanded the tentacle to pitch Razor into the food court. The tentacle did so.
"Whooooooooa!!!!" Razor slammed spine-first into a neon sign with a SMASH!!! of braking glass, and a BUZZZ and BIZZZ of crackling and exploding sparks. Razor landed hard on his face. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Doc Ock looked angrily at Razor.
"This hair is my own, thank you very much." Doc Ock grumbled. Razor got up and glared at Octopus, pointing his guitar head at him.
"As my good friend Tony Montana once said, Octopus-Man..." Razor ignored the pain, playing a riff, making the guitar head glow with rainbow energy, like a cannon about to fire. Razor smirked, about to do a real good impersonation of Al Pacino: "Say hello to my little friend!" Razor fired a beam of rainbow energy from the guitar head. "Yeah!!" The beam knocked a surprised Doc Ock out of the building. "Ahhh, he wasn't so tough." Razor grinned.
"Like, did you see his impersonation of Scarface? Razor looked so hot doing it, hee hee." Jubilee whispered and giggled excitedly to the others.
"It was a good impression." Wendy admitted, shrugging.
"I could do better." Rip bragged jokingly. Tommy, Alex, and Fingers groaned.
"Man, why does she fawn over Razor?" The three chorused in a moan. Razor jumped to the center of the mall, looking around.
"Anybody else want some?" Razor cried out, laughing.
"How about I try?" A huge red blur charged in like a rhino, taking Razor down in one punch.
"OWWWWWW!!!!!" Razor slid a good 100 ft. He looked up at the massive, overmuscled 6'10, 900-pound frame belonging to only one man: Cain Marko, the unstoppable, invincible Juggernaut. Marko smirked at the Kid of Rock. Razor looked up at him.
"Man, talk about your steroid freaks." Razor quipped. {Houston, we have a problem. BIG problem!}
"I heard from some clown named Xantor that you were about as durable as I am." Juggernaut laughed arrogantly.
"And much better-looking too." Razor mocked. Marko growled, catching Razor by the throat with one humongous hand. "Not the neck!"
"Now you will know why they call me Juggernaut." Marko growled. He hit Razor hard with a chokeslam. Razor was slammed into a concrete floor from twelve feet in the air, and he was going at an incredible speed.
"My god! No one can survive that!" Wendy cowered.
"He's dead. Nice knowin' ya, Razor." Rip bowed his head. Juggernaut looked down at the fallen rocker with an evil smile.
"Ahh, great warrior my ass." Juggernaut shrugged. "He wanted some, he got some WHAT?!?!?!" Razor opened his eyes and smirked. He got up and ran a hand through his dust-covered blond hair.
"Aw man, that hurt!" Razor moaned. "Nice chokeslam, Jughead. I can see a very bright future for you in the WWE." Juggernaut smirked.
"Heh. I like a challenge. I guess you are a great warrior after all." Juggernaut cocked back his fist. "Gonna be fun killin' ya, kid." Marko threw the punch, Razor dodging easily with a cartwheel and a backwards flip.
"Gonna be fun blowin' ya up, domehead." Razor fired a couple blasts from his guitar's head. The blasts bounced off Juggernaut's chest like light off a mirror. "What in the name of Bon Jovi is this?!?!"
"Did anyone tell ya kid? I'm invincible!" Juggernaut laughed. He threw another punch at Razor, but the rockstar was too fast for him.
"Yeah, but you're slower than a retarded tortoise!" Razor quipped. Juggernaut kept throwing punches, but all he kept hitting was walls and air.
"Hold still!"
"You think I'm that stupid?" Razor mocked, still moving. {If I can keep moving, this idiot can't touch me} Razor was stopped by a powerful soundwave. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Razor clutched his ears.
"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The others covered their ears.
"God, that noise! Make it stop!" Razor moaned. The noise was torturous enough for a normal person, but Razor's superhuman hearing made it unbearable for him. "AHHH!!!!" The source revealed itself to be a bald, red- skinned man with an odd face, a satellite dish for his right hand, and wearing a pair of tattered blue pants. He was one of the enemies of the Fantastic Four: Dr. Klaw.
"I was told one of the warrior's biggest weaknesses was his increased sensitivity to sound." Klaw explained to Juggernaut.
"So he can't handle a little noise. Big deal! I had him!" Marko groaned.
"Someone shut that walking stereo system off!" Razor snapped. Juggernaut gave Razor a kick, causing him to crash through the ceiling, then crash through it again on the way down, landing hard on the floor.
"And HBK nails Jericho with the Sweet Chin Music. He's going for the pin..." Razor moaned dizzily, counting all the razor blades flying around his head.
"My God, Razor can't possibly take much more of this!" Rip moaned.
"My poor baby!" Jubilee moaned.
"Oh no!" Wendy moaned. "Look!" Razor regained his senses only to gaze upon a beautiful blond woman in a yellow-and-green swimsuit-like costume.
"Finally, something worth looking at around here." Razor got up, slowly. "I'm sure you're after yours truly for his good looks."
"Thou art a strange warrior." The woman replied. "But Xantor promised a great reward if thou were slain."
"Babe, can't we just go out on a date or somethin'?" Razor grinned. She sent Razor flying with a magical blast. "Yeow!!"
"Allow me to introduce myself, musician. I am Amora, also known as the Enchantress."
"Were they talking about your looks or your magic?" Razor smirked, trying to win her over with his quick wit. Sabertooth and Doc Ock had recovered from their assaults, and were re-entering the building. Razor looked around. "Aw man, I think the Kid of Rock is in trouble." He then heard a SNIKT!!! "What?"
"CREEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!" Wolverine leaped out of nowhere, and tackled Sabertooth.
"Wolvie! About time!" Jubilee squealed. Razor took the chance and downed Klaw with a spear. While he did so, Razor looked at his costume.
{Aw man, my beautiful costume's torn up!} Razor mentally moaned.
"Nice spear, kid." A voice replied. Razor turned to see the Thing.
"Benjamin Grimm?" Razor wondered. "What da fudge are you doing here in Cleveland?"
"My cousin's a fan. Wanted an autograph." Thing joked.
"Who should I make it out to, Cousin Rocky or Cousin Slate?" Razor rolled his green eyes. Klaw got up and blasted the two heroes with a soundwave. Razor was caught by Doctor Octopus.
"We meet again." Doc Ock smirked.
"And you're uglier then ever." Razor remarked, when he heard a THWIP!!! Doc Ock looked up and got a faceful of two red boots, courtesy of Spider-Man. Doc Ock dropped Razor as he fell over, and Spidey landed on his feet.
"You Kid Razor, huh?" Spider-Man asked Razor.
"Did David Lee Roth sing for Van Halen?" Razor responded. Spidey laughed.
"Yeah, I think Cleveland's in good hands." Spider-Man laughed. The Enchantress appeared.
"Time to be slayed, musician!" She powered up an energy bolt, only to get smacked in the face by a shield. It returned to its owner, Captain America.
"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!" Cap called out, and his fellow Avengers hit the scene: Wasp, Iron Man, She-Hulk, Warbird, and the Scarlet Witch. Alongside them was an ally they picked up along the way: The Norse God of Thunder, the Mighty Thor. Wanda used a hex-bolt to block out the energy bolt from the enchantress.
"The Avengers?!?! Here in Cleveland?!?!" Razor asked Spider-Man, who shrugged.
"Don't ask me, kiddo. I was made an honorary member at one time."
"Well, all that matters to the Kid of Rock that he has just laid his eyes upon a gaggle of hot women." Razor grinned evilly. He and Spider-Man were rammed by the Juggernaut. The two heroes were knocked into another wall. "Hey!! I wasn't done ogling the hot babes yet, ya big red dipstick! Ow." Razor grumbled.
"I'm going to shut that big yap of yours once and for all!" Juggernaut picked Razor up.
"Awwww..." Razor mockingly cooed. "And here I was, thinking you actually liked my jokes." Juggernaut cocked back his fist.
"Shut up and die." Marko was just about to throw the punch when he felt a lightning bolt smash his back. He turned around angrily and saw Storm hovering in the air, hands charged with electricity.
"What a babe!" Fingers wagged his tongue. "I think I'm in love." Razor flew to Storm.
"Tina Turner, a mutant? Huh, you learn something new every day." Razor laughed. Ororo Munroe looked at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.
"My name is Ororo Munroe, not Tina Turner." Ororo replied with a chuckle. Razor gazed at her legs.
"You related to her? 'Cuz with legs like those, you gotta be." Razor smirked.
"Charming." Ororo rolled her eyes. Spider-Man went to engage Doc Ock, Storm was handling Juggernaut, the Avengers were battling the Enchantress, Wolverine and Sabertooth were fighting, and The Thing faced Klaw. The rest of the X-Men and the Fantastic Four arrived.
"What is this, a superhero convention?" Wendy scratched her head. She then saw the Human Torch. "Johnny..." She sighed longingly. Rip grumbled.
"The Human Torch sucks!" Rip growled jealously.
"Dude, so many women, so little time!" Razor laughed happily. He laid eyes on Cyclops. "Hey, there's the little candy-ass I flipped off!" Razor flew down to the X-Men, and gave them a hand with Juggernaut.
"Whoooooo!" Razor got Juggernaut's attention with a guitar blast. "Hey! Hey!" Razor started waving his arms. "Up here, ya big red retard!"
"Is he crazy?" Rogue asked Beast.
"I dare say that kid is fearless."
"He has to be to face Juggernaut." Storm added.
"You don't know when enough is enough, do you?" Juggernaut smirked at Razor. Razor hovered in mid-air.
"No one's truly invincible, big man!" Razor laughed. Even you have a weak spot." He noticed the clamps on Juggernaut's helmet. {And I just found 'em!} "Hey, X-Dudes! I'll distract him, you get those clamps off that monkey helmet!"
"Who are you bossing us around, kid?" Wolverine snapped.
"Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor is who I am, Claws." Razor laughed. "And if you got a problem with that, there's only two things you can do about it: Shut Up and Like It!" Wolverine couldn't help but smirk at Razor.
{The kid's got a mouth on him, alright.}
"Ah don't think we have much of a choice." Rogue added.
"Agreed." Cyclops nodded.
"By the way, Visor-man." Razor raised his middle finger at Cyclops. "Welcome to Cleveland." Razor then flew towards Juggernaut, leaving a glaring Cyclops. Wolverine chuckled.
"Hey Slim, I like this kid." Razor flew around Juggernaut, driving him crazy. Beast helped by using his own agility to make himself a hard target to hit. Meanwhile, the other X-Men fought to get the helmet. Rogue used her strength, Logan used claws, Storm used thunder, and Cyclops used optic blasts to dislodge it. Razor kicked the helmet off, then hit Marko's nose with a left and a right cross. To finish it off, Razor held up his open hand, spit on his palm a la The Rock, then smacked him in the face with a martial-arts palm shot. Jean took the opportunity, taking down the mighty menace with a psychic blast.
"Not bad, Razor." Ronnie Rocker made himself visible. Now the X-Men could see him.
"Oh my stars and garters! An actual apparition." Beast walked up to the late rocker.
"Whoa." Ronnie looked at Beast. "I always thought I was a ghost. What happened to you, Blueboy? Got a fur coat glued on ya or something?"
"Mah Gawd!" Rogue's eyes widened. "Who are you?"
"Ronnie Rocker, at your service." Ronnie bowed gracefully. "I'd kiss your hand, but I'm dead, and being a ghost doesn't allow that luxury. I'll explain the whole thing later." Meanwhile, Razor flew towards the Avengers, who were battling Enchantress.
"Girls, the Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor is in the house!! WHOO!!" Razor laughed as he landed between them. He took off his glasses. "Ladies, you may scream now."
"Don't start, Jubes." Alex grumbled. "How come Razor gets the damn girl?"
"Why would I scream at your presence?" Amora asked. Razor groaned.
"Someone get this black magic woman a damn clue, huh?" Razor moaned. "Where does this dumb blonde come from? Freakin' LA? She's easy on the eyes, but you'll get no interesting conversation from her, alright." Razor sighed, dropping his arms. Thor chuckled.
"Friend Captain, I find this young warrior very unusual, but hilarious."
"You must be Kid Razor." Cap extended his hand.
"Kid Razor, Cleveland's Rock 'n' Roll Sensation." Razor smirked, shaking the hand. "I heard you were good at martial arts." Razor then paused. "Not as good as me." The She-Hulk burst out laughing.
"Man, he's cocky for a short guy." Jennifer Walters grinned. Razor glared.
"Babe, you may be an emerald Amazon, but never, ever call the Kid of Rock "short"!"
"What's the matter, Shortstuff? Can't take a joke?" Jen mocked.
"Watch it!" Razor snapped. Iron Man rolled his eyes.
"Jen, you're nearly seven feet tall. Practically everyone else on Earth is shorter than you." Jen pouted.
"You are no fun, Stark." Jen whined. "I was just messing with the little blondie over here." She pointed at Razor.
"Don't make the Kid of Rock take this guitar and smack ya!" Razor snapped. Wanda sighed.
"You two..." She pointed behind the two heroes. Amora was prepping a magic blast.
"Aw, holy Van Halen!" Razor groaned.
Well, looks like Razor's mouth as gotten him into big trouble! Can he survive this? Find out in the next chapter of "Birth of a Juke Box Hero"!!
To Red Witch: Thanks for reviewing! You and Zauriel are the only ones who have reviewed. I guess in many of the readers' minds, the Marvel Universe is not quite ready yet for a rock 'n' roll superhero. Despite this, I'm continuing on with this story.
Previously on Birth of a Juke Box Hero: Kid Razor engaged in battle with the feral mutant monster named Sabertooth. However, they say that the only way to beat a feral mutant is with another feral mutant. Since Razor is neither feral nor a mutant, he got whooped easily, despite his enhanced reflexes, agility, and reaction time. Bobby's friends and bandmates hid out alongside the mutant known as Jubilee, who appears to have a major crush on Razor! Anyway, several other villains also want a piece of the Ultimate Rockstar, and backup is racing to the rescue!
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"Heh. Gotta admit, kid. You can take a lickin'." Sabertooth smirked. Razor gave Sabertooth a cocky look.
"Go ahead, Kitty. Try to sharpen your claws on me, you hairball!" Razor dared. Sabertooth leapt with a roar. Razor dropped to his butt, and used his feet and legs to catapult the feral mutant out through the hole in the wall and out the building. "Stupid hairy cat-wannabe jackass." Razor insulted as he got back to his feet. A metal tentacle lashed out of nowhere and clutched Razor by the waist. "Hey!" The tentacle pulled him towards the source: a short, plump man with brown hair in a bowl haircut, black shades, and a green costume. The tentacle was one of four, sprouting out of a metal pack on his back. Razor gave the man a deadpan look. "Let me guess. Arm- Man? Fat-Ass-With-Four-Arms?"
"Hmmph. Spider-Man was never that cocky." The man smirked. "They call me Doctor Octopus."
"With that cheap haircut, they should call you Dr. Bad Hair Day." Razor quipped, pointing at Doc Ock's hair. "That is the cheapest wig I have ever seen." Doc Ock got mad.
"NEVER INSULT MY HAIR!!!" He mentally commanded the tentacle to pitch Razor into the food court. The tentacle did so.
"Whooooooooa!!!!" Razor slammed spine-first into a neon sign with a SMASH!!! of braking glass, and a BUZZZ and BIZZZ of crackling and exploding sparks. Razor landed hard on his face. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Doc Ock looked angrily at Razor.
"This hair is my own, thank you very much." Doc Ock grumbled. Razor got up and glared at Octopus, pointing his guitar head at him.
"As my good friend Tony Montana once said, Octopus-Man..." Razor ignored the pain, playing a riff, making the guitar head glow with rainbow energy, like a cannon about to fire. Razor smirked, about to do a real good impersonation of Al Pacino: "Say hello to my little friend!" Razor fired a beam of rainbow energy from the guitar head. "Yeah!!" The beam knocked a surprised Doc Ock out of the building. "Ahhh, he wasn't so tough." Razor grinned.
"Like, did you see his impersonation of Scarface? Razor looked so hot doing it, hee hee." Jubilee whispered and giggled excitedly to the others.
"It was a good impression." Wendy admitted, shrugging.
"I could do better." Rip bragged jokingly. Tommy, Alex, and Fingers groaned.
"Man, why does she fawn over Razor?" The three chorused in a moan. Razor jumped to the center of the mall, looking around.
"Anybody else want some?" Razor cried out, laughing.
"How about I try?" A huge red blur charged in like a rhino, taking Razor down in one punch.
"OWWWWWW!!!!!" Razor slid a good 100 ft. He looked up at the massive, overmuscled 6'10, 900-pound frame belonging to only one man: Cain Marko, the unstoppable, invincible Juggernaut. Marko smirked at the Kid of Rock. Razor looked up at him.
"Man, talk about your steroid freaks." Razor quipped. {Houston, we have a problem. BIG problem!}
"I heard from some clown named Xantor that you were about as durable as I am." Juggernaut laughed arrogantly.
"And much better-looking too." Razor mocked. Marko growled, catching Razor by the throat with one humongous hand. "Not the neck!"
"Now you will know why they call me Juggernaut." Marko growled. He hit Razor hard with a chokeslam. Razor was slammed into a concrete floor from twelve feet in the air, and he was going at an incredible speed.
"My god! No one can survive that!" Wendy cowered.
"He's dead. Nice knowin' ya, Razor." Rip bowed his head. Juggernaut looked down at the fallen rocker with an evil smile.
"Ahh, great warrior my ass." Juggernaut shrugged. "He wanted some, he got some WHAT?!?!?!" Razor opened his eyes and smirked. He got up and ran a hand through his dust-covered blond hair.
"Aw man, that hurt!" Razor moaned. "Nice chokeslam, Jughead. I can see a very bright future for you in the WWE." Juggernaut smirked.
"Heh. I like a challenge. I guess you are a great warrior after all." Juggernaut cocked back his fist. "Gonna be fun killin' ya, kid." Marko threw the punch, Razor dodging easily with a cartwheel and a backwards flip.
"Gonna be fun blowin' ya up, domehead." Razor fired a couple blasts from his guitar's head. The blasts bounced off Juggernaut's chest like light off a mirror. "What in the name of Bon Jovi is this?!?!"
"Did anyone tell ya kid? I'm invincible!" Juggernaut laughed. He threw another punch at Razor, but the rockstar was too fast for him.
"Yeah, but you're slower than a retarded tortoise!" Razor quipped. Juggernaut kept throwing punches, but all he kept hitting was walls and air.
"Hold still!"
"You think I'm that stupid?" Razor mocked, still moving. {If I can keep moving, this idiot can't touch me} Razor was stopped by a powerful soundwave. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Razor clutched his ears.
"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The others covered their ears.
"God, that noise! Make it stop!" Razor moaned. The noise was torturous enough for a normal person, but Razor's superhuman hearing made it unbearable for him. "AHHH!!!!" The source revealed itself to be a bald, red- skinned man with an odd face, a satellite dish for his right hand, and wearing a pair of tattered blue pants. He was one of the enemies of the Fantastic Four: Dr. Klaw.
"I was told one of the warrior's biggest weaknesses was his increased sensitivity to sound." Klaw explained to Juggernaut.
"So he can't handle a little noise. Big deal! I had him!" Marko groaned.
"Someone shut that walking stereo system off!" Razor snapped. Juggernaut gave Razor a kick, causing him to crash through the ceiling, then crash through it again on the way down, landing hard on the floor.
"And HBK nails Jericho with the Sweet Chin Music. He's going for the pin..." Razor moaned dizzily, counting all the razor blades flying around his head.
"My God, Razor can't possibly take much more of this!" Rip moaned.
"My poor baby!" Jubilee moaned.
"Oh no!" Wendy moaned. "Look!" Razor regained his senses only to gaze upon a beautiful blond woman in a yellow-and-green swimsuit-like costume.
"Finally, something worth looking at around here." Razor got up, slowly. "I'm sure you're after yours truly for his good looks."
"Thou art a strange warrior." The woman replied. "But Xantor promised a great reward if thou were slain."
"Babe, can't we just go out on a date or somethin'?" Razor grinned. She sent Razor flying with a magical blast. "Yeow!!"
"Allow me to introduce myself, musician. I am Amora, also known as the Enchantress."
"Were they talking about your looks or your magic?" Razor smirked, trying to win her over with his quick wit. Sabertooth and Doc Ock had recovered from their assaults, and were re-entering the building. Razor looked around. "Aw man, I think the Kid of Rock is in trouble." He then heard a SNIKT!!! "What?"
"CREEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!" Wolverine leaped out of nowhere, and tackled Sabertooth.
"Wolvie! About time!" Jubilee squealed. Razor took the chance and downed Klaw with a spear. While he did so, Razor looked at his costume.
{Aw man, my beautiful costume's torn up!} Razor mentally moaned.
"Nice spear, kid." A voice replied. Razor turned to see the Thing.
"Benjamin Grimm?" Razor wondered. "What da fudge are you doing here in Cleveland?"
"My cousin's a fan. Wanted an autograph." Thing joked.
"Who should I make it out to, Cousin Rocky or Cousin Slate?" Razor rolled his green eyes. Klaw got up and blasted the two heroes with a soundwave. Razor was caught by Doctor Octopus.
"We meet again." Doc Ock smirked.
"And you're uglier then ever." Razor remarked, when he heard a THWIP!!! Doc Ock looked up and got a faceful of two red boots, courtesy of Spider-Man. Doc Ock dropped Razor as he fell over, and Spidey landed on his feet.
"You Kid Razor, huh?" Spider-Man asked Razor.
"Did David Lee Roth sing for Van Halen?" Razor responded. Spidey laughed.
"Yeah, I think Cleveland's in good hands." Spider-Man laughed. The Enchantress appeared.
"Time to be slayed, musician!" She powered up an energy bolt, only to get smacked in the face by a shield. It returned to its owner, Captain America.
"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!" Cap called out, and his fellow Avengers hit the scene: Wasp, Iron Man, She-Hulk, Warbird, and the Scarlet Witch. Alongside them was an ally they picked up along the way: The Norse God of Thunder, the Mighty Thor. Wanda used a hex-bolt to block out the energy bolt from the enchantress.
"The Avengers?!?! Here in Cleveland?!?!" Razor asked Spider-Man, who shrugged.
"Don't ask me, kiddo. I was made an honorary member at one time."
"Well, all that matters to the Kid of Rock that he has just laid his eyes upon a gaggle of hot women." Razor grinned evilly. He and Spider-Man were rammed by the Juggernaut. The two heroes were knocked into another wall. "Hey!! I wasn't done ogling the hot babes yet, ya big red dipstick! Ow." Razor grumbled.
"I'm going to shut that big yap of yours once and for all!" Juggernaut picked Razor up.
"Awwww..." Razor mockingly cooed. "And here I was, thinking you actually liked my jokes." Juggernaut cocked back his fist.
"Shut up and die." Marko was just about to throw the punch when he felt a lightning bolt smash his back. He turned around angrily and saw Storm hovering in the air, hands charged with electricity.
"What a babe!" Fingers wagged his tongue. "I think I'm in love." Razor flew to Storm.
"Tina Turner, a mutant? Huh, you learn something new every day." Razor laughed. Ororo Munroe looked at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.
"My name is Ororo Munroe, not Tina Turner." Ororo replied with a chuckle. Razor gazed at her legs.
"You related to her? 'Cuz with legs like those, you gotta be." Razor smirked.
"Charming." Ororo rolled her eyes. Spider-Man went to engage Doc Ock, Storm was handling Juggernaut, the Avengers were battling the Enchantress, Wolverine and Sabertooth were fighting, and The Thing faced Klaw. The rest of the X-Men and the Fantastic Four arrived.
"What is this, a superhero convention?" Wendy scratched her head. She then saw the Human Torch. "Johnny..." She sighed longingly. Rip grumbled.
"The Human Torch sucks!" Rip growled jealously.
"Dude, so many women, so little time!" Razor laughed happily. He laid eyes on Cyclops. "Hey, there's the little candy-ass I flipped off!" Razor flew down to the X-Men, and gave them a hand with Juggernaut.
"Whoooooo!" Razor got Juggernaut's attention with a guitar blast. "Hey! Hey!" Razor started waving his arms. "Up here, ya big red retard!"
"Is he crazy?" Rogue asked Beast.
"I dare say that kid is fearless."
"He has to be to face Juggernaut." Storm added.
"You don't know when enough is enough, do you?" Juggernaut smirked at Razor. Razor hovered in mid-air.
"No one's truly invincible, big man!" Razor laughed. Even you have a weak spot." He noticed the clamps on Juggernaut's helmet. {And I just found 'em!} "Hey, X-Dudes! I'll distract him, you get those clamps off that monkey helmet!"
"Who are you bossing us around, kid?" Wolverine snapped.
"Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor is who I am, Claws." Razor laughed. "And if you got a problem with that, there's only two things you can do about it: Shut Up and Like It!" Wolverine couldn't help but smirk at Razor.
{The kid's got a mouth on him, alright.}
"Ah don't think we have much of a choice." Rogue added.
"Agreed." Cyclops nodded.
"By the way, Visor-man." Razor raised his middle finger at Cyclops. "Welcome to Cleveland." Razor then flew towards Juggernaut, leaving a glaring Cyclops. Wolverine chuckled.
"Hey Slim, I like this kid." Razor flew around Juggernaut, driving him crazy. Beast helped by using his own agility to make himself a hard target to hit. Meanwhile, the other X-Men fought to get the helmet. Rogue used her strength, Logan used claws, Storm used thunder, and Cyclops used optic blasts to dislodge it. Razor kicked the helmet off, then hit Marko's nose with a left and a right cross. To finish it off, Razor held up his open hand, spit on his palm a la The Rock, then smacked him in the face with a martial-arts palm shot. Jean took the opportunity, taking down the mighty menace with a psychic blast.
"Not bad, Razor." Ronnie Rocker made himself visible. Now the X-Men could see him.
"Oh my stars and garters! An actual apparition." Beast walked up to the late rocker.
"Whoa." Ronnie looked at Beast. "I always thought I was a ghost. What happened to you, Blueboy? Got a fur coat glued on ya or something?"
"Mah Gawd!" Rogue's eyes widened. "Who are you?"
"Ronnie Rocker, at your service." Ronnie bowed gracefully. "I'd kiss your hand, but I'm dead, and being a ghost doesn't allow that luxury. I'll explain the whole thing later." Meanwhile, Razor flew towards the Avengers, who were battling Enchantress.
"Girls, the Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor is in the house!! WHOO!!" Razor laughed as he landed between them. He took off his glasses. "Ladies, you may scream now."
"Don't start, Jubes." Alex grumbled. "How come Razor gets the damn girl?"
"Why would I scream at your presence?" Amora asked. Razor groaned.
"Someone get this black magic woman a damn clue, huh?" Razor moaned. "Where does this dumb blonde come from? Freakin' LA? She's easy on the eyes, but you'll get no interesting conversation from her, alright." Razor sighed, dropping his arms. Thor chuckled.
"Friend Captain, I find this young warrior very unusual, but hilarious."
"You must be Kid Razor." Cap extended his hand.
"Kid Razor, Cleveland's Rock 'n' Roll Sensation." Razor smirked, shaking the hand. "I heard you were good at martial arts." Razor then paused. "Not as good as me." The She-Hulk burst out laughing.
"Man, he's cocky for a short guy." Jennifer Walters grinned. Razor glared.
"Babe, you may be an emerald Amazon, but never, ever call the Kid of Rock "short"!"
"What's the matter, Shortstuff? Can't take a joke?" Jen mocked.
"Watch it!" Razor snapped. Iron Man rolled his eyes.
"Jen, you're nearly seven feet tall. Practically everyone else on Earth is shorter than you." Jen pouted.
"You are no fun, Stark." Jen whined. "I was just messing with the little blondie over here." She pointed at Razor.
"Don't make the Kid of Rock take this guitar and smack ya!" Razor snapped. Wanda sighed.
"You two..." She pointed behind the two heroes. Amora was prepping a magic blast.
"Aw, holy Van Halen!" Razor groaned.
Well, looks like Razor's mouth as gotten him into big trouble! Can he survive this? Find out in the next chapter of "Birth of a Juke Box Hero"!!