Title: I Lied

Author name: Sierra a.k.a. givemespikehesmine

Author Email: givemespikehesmine@yahoo.com

Aim: TkemeAwyFrmItAll

Disclaimer All things "Buffy" or "Angel" belong to Joss Whedon and the creators of the shows..i Own nothing!........ Grrr....I want Spike!

Setting: AU fic so therefore no Setting in Buffy Verse!!!

Summary: Buffy has a great life, but to her it seems like the same 'ole same: boring. She decides she needs to have a little fun. This new "Fun" she seeks might just be Spike and old friend who Buffy parted with When she entered High school. Could Spike be what she's looking for or maybe even more. But Can this "Fun" Buffy wants end all too good or way too bad?

Couples: Buffy/Angel Spike/Faith at first then Spike/Buffy

Others: Xander/Cordelia Willow/Tara

Category: Romance/angst

Spoilers An AU fic no spoilers

Rating Pg-13-R

Author's comments: I decided to re-post this story because it wasn't going in the right place!

Introduction: Why

~Buffy's POV~

"Why!" I screamed. "Why did you have to leave me?" I said to myself as I sat on the floor, blood dripping down my arm. "It's all your fault!" I screamed to no one. "You left me! And now look at me! You were the best thing that could happen to me! But you had to leave! WHY! What did I ever do to hurt you?" I yelled. All of a sudden I heard knocking on the door. It was Willow.

"Buffy are you there? Hello, Buffy Xander and me have been trying to get a hold of you all night! I'm coming in."

She must have heard me crying because there she stood in the doorway of the bathroom staring at me her eyes filled with dread.

"Oh my god." Willow said. "What are you doing? Why did you do this?" She asked as her eyes wandered over my arms. "You can't do this, you were fine. Just tell me what happened? What would make you do this to yourself? What would make you hurt yourself?" Willow asked as she began to cry. "Buffy you were fine like 2 days ago! Tell me what happened!"

I didn't answer. She wouldn't understand, she couldn't, I thought.

"Buffy please tell me what happened. You were so happy, you have everything. Now please tell me why you did this?" Willow asked her eyes full of tears.

"Him." I mumbled.

"Who?" she asked.

"Spike." I replied as I dropped the blade.

"What about Spike? You told us he was just a fling. You told me you loved Angel." Willow asked shocked.

"I lied." I said coldly.

"Why?" she asked as she began to cry harder.

"You wouldn't understand! None of you would! I kept him a secret because of you and Xander! You would have disowned me if you knew how I felt about him, how I still feel about him. He was the only person who knew me, understood me. He made me feel alive! But he left. Now there's no one here for me now!" I yelled as I picked up the blade once more. "The only thing I can do know is leave this place." I whispered as I dragged the blade across my arm again.

"No!." Willow screamed as she took it from my hands. "You have to tell me what happened." Willow said as she picked me up off the floor and put me on the bed. "Just try to calm down and tell me from the beginning please?" she asked her eyes filled with hope.

"Ok from the beginning." I said. Maybe she will understand, I thought.

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A/N: DO YOU LIKE IT???? BE TRUTHFUL? I know its short but sorry!