Day 1- Bad Liar: Codywan

What do you see when you look at me?

It was a fairly simply question really. Structurally at least. Delving more into it, one could come up with multiple answers. But, a first layer answer would be simple.

Cody sat anxiously on his bed. Waiting, waiting ever so patiently for Obi-Wan to come.

And he would.

He always did.

But this time, Cody needed to ask the question. He needed an answer; he needed to know.

Cody had looked in a mirror before. He had asked himself the same question before.

What do you see when you look at me?

Those closest to him told him the same things. A trusted person. A friend. A good brother. Ori'vod. Vod'ika. All compliments, all praise. Nothing negative was ever produced by the question. There was no reason for Obi-Wan's answer to stray from that.

In fact, the only one who ever saw something negative, was himself.

Cody stared at himself in a mirror, he looked himself in the eyes, he tried to see what the others saw. But every time, he would only see the hurt, the brokenness, and fear he'd experienced.

In the mirror was a scarred boy, hopelessly reaching for a life he could never have back.

In the mirror was the flash of death and the eerie feeling that came with it.

He couldn't escape it.

So, Cody didn't look in mirrors. Instead, he asked what everyone else saw in him.

The door to Cody's room opened and in stepped Obi-Wan, still clad in his robe. Gently, he took it off and by the door, he slid off his boots. He walked over to the bed and Cody threw back the blanket to invite him in.

"Ready for sleep?" Obi asked. "It's been a rough couple days."

Cody snorted and laid down. "Rough is an understatement. Try hellish next time."

"I'll take that as a yes to my question," Obi said, laying down beside him. "Is there anything you need?"

Cody opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. The obvious answer was yes. Obi-Wan already knew that, or he wouldn't have asked.

Cody took a deep breath and tried again. "I had a question, sir. I hope you don't mind. I'm sure you're tired and it's been a long few days, I don't mean to bother you, but I have to know and-"

A finger came up to his lips and hushed him.

"There's no need to explain yourself," Obi said gently. "It's alright. What is it?"

Cody cursed himself for yet again seeking validation. It wasn't even the typical form a validation one would seek. Really, it was more a form of consolation.

"What," Cody said. "What do you see when you look at me? When you look into my eyes?"

Obi-Wan stared for a moment. The silent pause created more tension in Cody's mind and regret filled him again. He was so close to redirecting the conversation; he didn't want an answer anymore.

Before he could speak though, Obi-Wan broke the silence.

"Well, first and foremost, I see a friend."

Cody nodded, but such a response was common. Sometimes, he was tired of it.

"I also see," Obi continued. "Love, and kindness. Lots of love towards me. Deep care and concern for those around you."

Cody waited for more to be said and nothing came. He swallowed and nodded. "I see. Is…that all?"

"Should there be more?" Obi asked.

Cody shrugged and felt his face grow hot. "N-no, it's fine…I…just…seemed like you had, maybe, something more to say…I don't know…"

He heard a sigh and a finger was pressed against his lips.

"Hush." The quiet voice was not a reprimand, merely something born of love and concern. "Should there be more?"

Cody sighed and turned away from Obi. "I suppose its best if I stop trying to lie. You always see through it."

"It's not very hard to see through it," Obi admitted. "But, it makes me sad you try to do it. Though, I do partly understand why you do it."

Cody looked back at the man questioningly. "You do?"

Obi-Wan gave a wry smile. "It's a bit of a "takes one to know one" situation."

Cody merely hummed. It was no secret Obi would cover up his hurting for the sake of others at any given moment.

"But," Obi sighed. "To answer your question, I suppose I do see more."

Cody's eyes widened at the confession. It was the first time anyone had said so (or at least admitted it). And now, of all the times, was when he least expected it.

"Looking into your eyes," Obi continued. "There is at first a layer of happiness, contentedness with your life. Not to say it's perfect, but for you, it's good. Perhaps the best you've had.

"Underneath that, a weariness brought on by the constant stress of the war.

"And below all that is fear; it's cuts deep and is rooted in hurt, intense hurt. From that stems certain distrust, but also the great love and care. It's strange, almost contradictory. It's like, peace filled with chaos, like-"

"A haven tearing itself apart from the inside out," Cody finished.

Obi-Wan's eyes filled pain, but also wonder. "Is that how you see yourself?"

Cody dropped his gaze and his face burned. "It's hard not to," he whispered. "It always feels like that."

Obi-Wan moved closer, wrapping his arms around Cody. It was comforting and Cody couldn't help but release the tension in his body. The relaxed state felt surreal.

"I don't know what has hurt you so deeply, my love," Obi whispered. "But I'm very sorry. I'm sorry that it's caused so much anguish, and pain that haunts you. I wish I could do more."

The tears slipped down Cody's face and he buried his face in the crook of Obi's neck.

"You're doing all you can," Cody mumbled. "You're holding me close. You admitted to seeing more. You've proved to me that I'm not just putting this on myself. It's really there."

"Oh, dear," Obi said quietly into Cody's hair. "If I'd realized from the beginning validation was what you were seeking, I would given it to you sooner."

"I just couldn't keep it from you anymore," Cody cried, his voice just a whisper. "I needed to ask. I needed to know. I needed you to know how I felt. I couldn't keep it from you."

"Shh." Obi-Wan's voice was soothing. "It's alright. I've got you. It's fine. I know it's hard. But even if all that were fabricated yourself, it would still be an issue worth validating. What you feel always matters.

"Fighting this war is hard. It's ruthless and comfortless. But I'm always here for you."

He kissed Cody's head.

"Always."