Chapter 3
We camped a really long time. There is no other way to explain it. Anyway, one night Lisa, Courtney, and I were sitting away from the company in our own group.
"Can't we start our own fire?" Lisa complained.
"No, unless you wan the bad guys to know what we're doing." Courtney said with her eyes drooping.
"They're going to find out anyway." Lisa said lying down.
"Not to change the subject, but I might have a flashlight." I said.
"Well, when were you going to tell us!" Lisa exclaimed.
"I forgot." I said regretting that I even had told that.
"Convenient." Courtney said.
I pulled my bag onto my lap and pulled out my mini flashlight. I turned it on and then turned it off.
"At least it works." Courtney mumbled.
"I charged the batteries the morning that we 'crossed over'." I said. We stopped talking I heard Aragorn talking.
"I still don't know why Elrond let those three some. They came upon a secret council and do not tell us who they are and who they work for."
"Yes, they also make us an unlucky twelve." I heard Gimli say.
"You dwarves, I thought thirteen was unlucky." Legolas sneered.
"If those girls are included in the twelve, it's unlucky." Gimli said.
"Maybe Elrond knows something you do not." Gandalf said. "Perhaps they yet have a part to play. They knew of Saruman being a traitor when they came in, after I said it to the rest of you."
"Still, Gandalf, they had swords made in a day and a half." Legolas pressed. "That has to be the work of wizardry."
Gandalf laughed. "I met the elf who made the swords. Laura gave him the plans. She said she would return and repay him. Noble of her."
The conversation between them continued but I looked at Courtney and Lisa. Apparently, they had heard the conversation too.
"Well, can I say shit." Courtney whispered.
"He said I'm noble." I said pretending to sniffle.
"He said she was noble!" Lisa said in disbelief.
"You said you would return!" Courtney yelled silently.
"I'm hoping to be home in a week." I muttered.
"You're an idiot." She continued.
"Yeah, but Gandalf said I was noble." I shot back.
"He's, like, really, really old!" Lisa said.
Courtney and I looked at Lisa. "What does that have to do with anything?" We asked at the same time. Then we both started giggling quietly.
And so we went to bed. And every single night we had stupid, meaningless conversations like that. I guess it was a way to remind us of home. Then one night, we had a conversation about just that.
"How long do you think we've been away?" Lisa asked suddenly one night as we all looked up at the stars.
"It's been a month, or there about." Courtney said.
"No, I mean real home. My messy, yet perfect room."
I sighed. "Sis, who knows. We could have been gone a month, a minute, a second, a year. Hell, one of those stars could be our sun." We all sat in thought for awhile.
I thought about what would happen if Lisa, or Courtney, or even if I died. I thought about how we got here, and where we were going. Then after that, I must have dozed off.
The next day we were marching along and I somehow ended up next to Pippin.
"So, Pippin, do you know where we're going?" I asked. And, to my surprise, he answered.
"Well, Frodo overheard Strider and Gandalf talking the other night."
"Not you?"
"Sadly no. I was sleeping at the time." He laughed remembering. "We are supposed to be heading towards some mountain."
"Thanks." I said and fell back to Courtney and Lisa.
"Hey Laura!" Lisa said waving like those freaks on the "Today Show".
I rolled my eyes. "You guys, we're going up the mountain."
"Hell no!" Courtney yelled. "I'm not going up that mountain!"
"Well I don't think we have a choice." I said.
"Do you think we should tell them?" Lisa asked.
We all stopped waling, looked at each other, and said "No." at the same time.
"Girls, keep it down. The enemy is always near." We heard Aragorn yell from the front.
That just made us laugh some more. It was one of those laughing spasms. You know what I'm talking about.
"I'm a woman, ass whole." Courtney managed to whisper while laughing.
"Enemy always near!" Lisa said laughing doing an impersonation of Aragorn. It was pretty good if I do say so myself.
Suddenly we found ourselves standing in front of Aragorn.
"Perhaps," he said, "You do not understand the meaning of 'keep it down'."
"Actually, no." Lisa said.
"Try 'shut up'." Courtney chimed in.
"Yeah, then swear." I said.
"Then I will silence you myself." His hand went for his sword, so did ours.
"No Strider!" I heard a voice yell.
"Frodo, my friend, I need to silence these."
"Aragorn." Gandalf stepped into the picture. "No need to kill or injure. Ladies, would you please, as you put it, 'shut up'?"
Well we shut up because Gandalf was probably the only guy who was nice to us.
We walked and the ground began to rise. I sighed. Walking up a mountain with a pack on my back was not my idea of fun.
"I'm not going up this thing all the way." Courtney said.
"Of course not. Saruman's going to blow is off." Lisa laughed.
"You're an idiot. I don't want to go that far." She said.
"Go a little farther, then you can stop. That is, if Aragorn doesn't slice and dice you into a million pieces." I said.
We laughed silently.
After four hours it began to snow. We stopped in an alcove. I walked up to Gandalf who was at the entrance.
"Gandalf, I don't know if you believe in premonitions, but I have a gut feeling that Saruman is going to bring down the mountain." I said. Courtney and Lisa would kill me for telling him that.
"Nonsense."
"Okay, whatever." I walked back to Courtney and Lisa.
"Let me guess," Lisa said putting her hand up, "you told him about Saruman."
"No. I actually told him I had a premonition or a gut instinct." I replied putting my bag on my back.
"What did he say?" Lisa asked also putting her bag on her back.
I shrugged. "Nonsense."
She nodded. "Thought so."
"Excuse me." Courtney said, "Why are you putting your bags on?"
"We're just about to leave. You should get yours on too." I said.
"No way."
"Why not?" Lisa asked her best friend.
"I said it before, I'm not going up all the way."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Stay. See you later on." I moved toward the entrance.
"Laura!" I heard her call. I ignored it. She could come to me and say what she wanted to say. Instead Lisa came up to me.
"What crawled up your ass and died?" she asked me.
"Stop being a bitch Lisa." I said stepping into the snow.
"Oh, I'm being the bitch? What's up with you Laura?"
"Everything!" I yelled. My voice echoed across the valley. I lowered my voice. "I'm in a land that's not even supposed to exist going on a journey where me, you, or Courtney could die, and everything is supposed to be peaches and cream? I don't think so. Lisa, this is the most impossible video game ever created. Even the Ellimist couldn't figure this one out."
She smiled. "Yeah, well, let the Ellimist decide that. Until then, I like peaches and cream, and I'm pretty good at video games."
"Get a life Lisa. You don't like peaches and cream, and you suck at video games. And, no, Animorphs is not going to help the situation."
"Shows how much you know about me. I like peaches, and I'm okay with cream. And, I'm pretty good at video games." She turned to say "goodbye" to Courtney, then stopped and faced me. "One last thing, I didn't bring Animorphs into this, you did." Then Lisa disappeared into the alcove.
We left Courtney in the alcove. We'd be seeing her in a few hours. Courtney's story to Gandalf was; "She'd follow when the snow let up."
The snow didn't let up. In fact, it only got worse. It was a blizzard.
"I'm so cold." I managed to whisper to Lisa.
"I think Courtney was right to stay behind." She replied.
"God, don't tell her that. I can hear her now; 'Of course, I'm always right!'" we both laughed.
"That was a pretty good impression of her. Now all you have to get down is her Scooby Doo laugh. Re-ee-he-he-he-he." Lisa did an impersonation of Courtney's laugh, which made us laugh harder. After a little bit she said, "This is why I never became an Eskimo. Too cold."
"Lisa, you have to be born an Eskimo, you can't become one."
"Whatever."
Then boulders fell from the overhead and crashed beside us, ruining our good moods.
"Saruman." I muttered.
"Tell me about it." Lisa said.
Gandalf started saying a counter curse. Or, it was something like that.
"It's not going to work," I whispered to Lisa.
"No duh."
"So, what do we do?"
"What! You're asking me?"
"Well I can't ask Courtney!"
"Yeah, but me, of all people!" Or hobbits, or whatever."
CRACK!
Lisa and I stopped arguing immediately. We looked at each other. No one else had heard it.
I smiled. "Wh-What do we do now?"
Lisa smiled back. "Running would be a good idea." She said in her best French accent.
Before I could even turn around someone grabbed my bag and pulled me backwards. I fell down the trail and hit my head.
I was going to feel that one later.
Finally, I stopped rolling. I felt really groggy. I went to stand up and my foot fell into nothingness. My eyes opened wide.
"Holy." Someone grabbed me and pulled me away from the edge. "Stop with the coming up behind thing!" I yelled.
I heard Courtney laugh. "Is that the thanks I get for saving your butt?"
"Saving me! You almost made me fall off a mountain!" I yelled
"So I'm a little shaky. At least you're not under five feet of snow right now.
I rolled my eyes. Lisa laughed.
"What are you three doing down here?" A voice asked.
We turned around to see Legolas.
"Well see." Lisa began.
"We heard a noise." I continued.
"And I saved them from the avalanche." Courtney finished.
Legolas eyes Courtney suspiciously. "Lady Courtney. Here we thought you were staying behind until the snow let up. Curious." He turned to help get the others out of the snow.
"Smart Courtney." Lisa said. "Next time, don't draw attention to yourself."
"Well sorry! Geez, I can't believe I don't get any thanks!" Courtney exclaimed.
"You want thanks, I'll give you thanks." I sneered. "Thanks for almost getting us killed and turning yet another person against us."
"I said sorry." Courtney shot back.
"Laura!" Lisa said shooting me an evil look. "Stop it with the attitude. God, Courtney was just trying to help us."
Lisa was right. And you know what I hated most? That Lisa was right. I hated losing arguments.
"Sorry." I muttered.
"There's the loving Laura we know and love! Now let's help these guys out before everyone hates us." And with that Lisa started to dig out snow. Courtney and I followed.
It took another hour to get everyone out of the snow. It took the rest of the day to get down the mountain. That night we slept at the foot of the mountain.
Lisa sighed. "So this means."
"We're going to Moria."
We camped a really long time. There is no other way to explain it. Anyway, one night Lisa, Courtney, and I were sitting away from the company in our own group.
"Can't we start our own fire?" Lisa complained.
"No, unless you wan the bad guys to know what we're doing." Courtney said with her eyes drooping.
"They're going to find out anyway." Lisa said lying down.
"Not to change the subject, but I might have a flashlight." I said.
"Well, when were you going to tell us!" Lisa exclaimed.
"I forgot." I said regretting that I even had told that.
"Convenient." Courtney said.
I pulled my bag onto my lap and pulled out my mini flashlight. I turned it on and then turned it off.
"At least it works." Courtney mumbled.
"I charged the batteries the morning that we 'crossed over'." I said. We stopped talking I heard Aragorn talking.
"I still don't know why Elrond let those three some. They came upon a secret council and do not tell us who they are and who they work for."
"Yes, they also make us an unlucky twelve." I heard Gimli say.
"You dwarves, I thought thirteen was unlucky." Legolas sneered.
"If those girls are included in the twelve, it's unlucky." Gimli said.
"Maybe Elrond knows something you do not." Gandalf said. "Perhaps they yet have a part to play. They knew of Saruman being a traitor when they came in, after I said it to the rest of you."
"Still, Gandalf, they had swords made in a day and a half." Legolas pressed. "That has to be the work of wizardry."
Gandalf laughed. "I met the elf who made the swords. Laura gave him the plans. She said she would return and repay him. Noble of her."
The conversation between them continued but I looked at Courtney and Lisa. Apparently, they had heard the conversation too.
"Well, can I say shit." Courtney whispered.
"He said I'm noble." I said pretending to sniffle.
"He said she was noble!" Lisa said in disbelief.
"You said you would return!" Courtney yelled silently.
"I'm hoping to be home in a week." I muttered.
"You're an idiot." She continued.
"Yeah, but Gandalf said I was noble." I shot back.
"He's, like, really, really old!" Lisa said.
Courtney and I looked at Lisa. "What does that have to do with anything?" We asked at the same time. Then we both started giggling quietly.
And so we went to bed. And every single night we had stupid, meaningless conversations like that. I guess it was a way to remind us of home. Then one night, we had a conversation about just that.
"How long do you think we've been away?" Lisa asked suddenly one night as we all looked up at the stars.
"It's been a month, or there about." Courtney said.
"No, I mean real home. My messy, yet perfect room."
I sighed. "Sis, who knows. We could have been gone a month, a minute, a second, a year. Hell, one of those stars could be our sun." We all sat in thought for awhile.
I thought about what would happen if Lisa, or Courtney, or even if I died. I thought about how we got here, and where we were going. Then after that, I must have dozed off.
The next day we were marching along and I somehow ended up next to Pippin.
"So, Pippin, do you know where we're going?" I asked. And, to my surprise, he answered.
"Well, Frodo overheard Strider and Gandalf talking the other night."
"Not you?"
"Sadly no. I was sleeping at the time." He laughed remembering. "We are supposed to be heading towards some mountain."
"Thanks." I said and fell back to Courtney and Lisa.
"Hey Laura!" Lisa said waving like those freaks on the "Today Show".
I rolled my eyes. "You guys, we're going up the mountain."
"Hell no!" Courtney yelled. "I'm not going up that mountain!"
"Well I don't think we have a choice." I said.
"Do you think we should tell them?" Lisa asked.
We all stopped waling, looked at each other, and said "No." at the same time.
"Girls, keep it down. The enemy is always near." We heard Aragorn yell from the front.
That just made us laugh some more. It was one of those laughing spasms. You know what I'm talking about.
"I'm a woman, ass whole." Courtney managed to whisper while laughing.
"Enemy always near!" Lisa said laughing doing an impersonation of Aragorn. It was pretty good if I do say so myself.
Suddenly we found ourselves standing in front of Aragorn.
"Perhaps," he said, "You do not understand the meaning of 'keep it down'."
"Actually, no." Lisa said.
"Try 'shut up'." Courtney chimed in.
"Yeah, then swear." I said.
"Then I will silence you myself." His hand went for his sword, so did ours.
"No Strider!" I heard a voice yell.
"Frodo, my friend, I need to silence these."
"Aragorn." Gandalf stepped into the picture. "No need to kill or injure. Ladies, would you please, as you put it, 'shut up'?"
Well we shut up because Gandalf was probably the only guy who was nice to us.
We walked and the ground began to rise. I sighed. Walking up a mountain with a pack on my back was not my idea of fun.
"I'm not going up this thing all the way." Courtney said.
"Of course not. Saruman's going to blow is off." Lisa laughed.
"You're an idiot. I don't want to go that far." She said.
"Go a little farther, then you can stop. That is, if Aragorn doesn't slice and dice you into a million pieces." I said.
We laughed silently.
After four hours it began to snow. We stopped in an alcove. I walked up to Gandalf who was at the entrance.
"Gandalf, I don't know if you believe in premonitions, but I have a gut feeling that Saruman is going to bring down the mountain." I said. Courtney and Lisa would kill me for telling him that.
"Nonsense."
"Okay, whatever." I walked back to Courtney and Lisa.
"Let me guess," Lisa said putting her hand up, "you told him about Saruman."
"No. I actually told him I had a premonition or a gut instinct." I replied putting my bag on my back.
"What did he say?" Lisa asked also putting her bag on her back.
I shrugged. "Nonsense."
She nodded. "Thought so."
"Excuse me." Courtney said, "Why are you putting your bags on?"
"We're just about to leave. You should get yours on too." I said.
"No way."
"Why not?" Lisa asked her best friend.
"I said it before, I'm not going up all the way."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Stay. See you later on." I moved toward the entrance.
"Laura!" I heard her call. I ignored it. She could come to me and say what she wanted to say. Instead Lisa came up to me.
"What crawled up your ass and died?" she asked me.
"Stop being a bitch Lisa." I said stepping into the snow.
"Oh, I'm being the bitch? What's up with you Laura?"
"Everything!" I yelled. My voice echoed across the valley. I lowered my voice. "I'm in a land that's not even supposed to exist going on a journey where me, you, or Courtney could die, and everything is supposed to be peaches and cream? I don't think so. Lisa, this is the most impossible video game ever created. Even the Ellimist couldn't figure this one out."
She smiled. "Yeah, well, let the Ellimist decide that. Until then, I like peaches and cream, and I'm pretty good at video games."
"Get a life Lisa. You don't like peaches and cream, and you suck at video games. And, no, Animorphs is not going to help the situation."
"Shows how much you know about me. I like peaches, and I'm okay with cream. And, I'm pretty good at video games." She turned to say "goodbye" to Courtney, then stopped and faced me. "One last thing, I didn't bring Animorphs into this, you did." Then Lisa disappeared into the alcove.
We left Courtney in the alcove. We'd be seeing her in a few hours. Courtney's story to Gandalf was; "She'd follow when the snow let up."
The snow didn't let up. In fact, it only got worse. It was a blizzard.
"I'm so cold." I managed to whisper to Lisa.
"I think Courtney was right to stay behind." She replied.
"God, don't tell her that. I can hear her now; 'Of course, I'm always right!'" we both laughed.
"That was a pretty good impression of her. Now all you have to get down is her Scooby Doo laugh. Re-ee-he-he-he-he." Lisa did an impersonation of Courtney's laugh, which made us laugh harder. After a little bit she said, "This is why I never became an Eskimo. Too cold."
"Lisa, you have to be born an Eskimo, you can't become one."
"Whatever."
Then boulders fell from the overhead and crashed beside us, ruining our good moods.
"Saruman." I muttered.
"Tell me about it." Lisa said.
Gandalf started saying a counter curse. Or, it was something like that.
"It's not going to work," I whispered to Lisa.
"No duh."
"So, what do we do?"
"What! You're asking me?"
"Well I can't ask Courtney!"
"Yeah, but me, of all people!" Or hobbits, or whatever."
CRACK!
Lisa and I stopped arguing immediately. We looked at each other. No one else had heard it.
I smiled. "Wh-What do we do now?"
Lisa smiled back. "Running would be a good idea." She said in her best French accent.
Before I could even turn around someone grabbed my bag and pulled me backwards. I fell down the trail and hit my head.
I was going to feel that one later.
Finally, I stopped rolling. I felt really groggy. I went to stand up and my foot fell into nothingness. My eyes opened wide.
"Holy." Someone grabbed me and pulled me away from the edge. "Stop with the coming up behind thing!" I yelled.
I heard Courtney laugh. "Is that the thanks I get for saving your butt?"
"Saving me! You almost made me fall off a mountain!" I yelled
"So I'm a little shaky. At least you're not under five feet of snow right now.
I rolled my eyes. Lisa laughed.
"What are you three doing down here?" A voice asked.
We turned around to see Legolas.
"Well see." Lisa began.
"We heard a noise." I continued.
"And I saved them from the avalanche." Courtney finished.
Legolas eyes Courtney suspiciously. "Lady Courtney. Here we thought you were staying behind until the snow let up. Curious." He turned to help get the others out of the snow.
"Smart Courtney." Lisa said. "Next time, don't draw attention to yourself."
"Well sorry! Geez, I can't believe I don't get any thanks!" Courtney exclaimed.
"You want thanks, I'll give you thanks." I sneered. "Thanks for almost getting us killed and turning yet another person against us."
"I said sorry." Courtney shot back.
"Laura!" Lisa said shooting me an evil look. "Stop it with the attitude. God, Courtney was just trying to help us."
Lisa was right. And you know what I hated most? That Lisa was right. I hated losing arguments.
"Sorry." I muttered.
"There's the loving Laura we know and love! Now let's help these guys out before everyone hates us." And with that Lisa started to dig out snow. Courtney and I followed.
It took another hour to get everyone out of the snow. It took the rest of the day to get down the mountain. That night we slept at the foot of the mountain.
Lisa sighed. "So this means."
"We're going to Moria."