Chapter 5
We got out of Moria. We had more people liking us such as Frodo, Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, and Sam. It was better than before when they just talked to us because they were trying to be nice. Courtney finally accepted that I let go so Gandalf could pull her up and save her.
"So," Lisa said making conversation since we had a long walk to Lothlorien, "why did you save Frodo anyway?"
"Right then it was all about the adrenaline rush."
"Imagine that." Courtney muttered.
"But now that I think about it, maybe it could mean more people trust us."
"Well, I'm sure that worked out real well." Lisa said. "Aragorn still hates us. Who knows about Boromir and Legolas and Gimli try to avoid us if at all possible."
"Well, Aragorn is probably ticked at me because I 'injured' him in Moria."
"What!" Courtney yelled.
"You know, I gave him a nudge to hurt his pride. And maybe there's a bruise." I said.
"Oh, yeah!" Courtney yelled.
"Ladies!" Aragorn shouted.
"Sorry." We all said back.
"We will rest for an hour then continue to Lothlorien."
Courtney took this as an okay to start yelling (quietly) again.
"I'm so sure Aragorn is intimidated by a thirteen year old!" she looked at Lisa for support.
"Don't look at me. I'm on Laura's side. Aragorn is a son of a bitch and shouldn't be on this mission. He didn't try to save Gandalf. He almost killed us. I mean, some on!"
The whole time Aragorn was standing directly behind her.
"He's standing behind me, isn't he?" she asked.
We nodded our heads.
"Should I run?"
"Oh yeah." I said.
But Aragorn put his hand on her shoulder, laughed, and said, "As long as we can be honest."
I stood there wide-eyed and mouth open.
"And while we're at it," he continued, "I don't exactly think you're the best one for the quest either. I seem to remember you all suddenly popping up in a secret council."
"Well." Courtney began.
"It's kind of hard to explain." I said.
"Really hard." Lisa tried.
"Someday." He said and walked away.
Courtney, Lisa, and I stood there in silence.
"Well," I said, "that was weird."
"Does this mean he likes us?" Lisa asked.
"Forget that. Should we tell them?" Courtney questioned.
"How about.no." I said. "We don' tell them how we got here until we know how to get home."
"Home." Lisa said quietly.
"Yeah." Courtney whispered.
"Anyone have any red, ruby slippers?" Lisa asked.
"What?" I questioned.
"Then I could say 'there's no place like home' three times and tap my heels together."
"My God Lisa!" Courtney cried. But even she could see Lisa was trying to lighten the mood.
After an hour we made our way to Lothlorien. We crossed a river and we had crossed what Legolas called, 'the border to an Elven land of old'. When he started to sing, I protested and he stopped.
That's when we all bumped into Haldir. And I was ticked when he said we would rest tonight then see Galadriel tomorrow.
"Excuse me, Haldir?"
"Yes Lady Laura?"
"You mean to tell me we've traveled all this way just to rest! Couldn't we rest, NOT SO NEAR THE BORDER!"
"Excuse my sister." Lisa said, "We've traveled a long way and we wanted to see her tonight."
"And if you need a translation," Courtney chimed in, "its, get off your lazy ass and take us to Galadriel or we're going to have to kick your ass!"
"You had better listen to them. I have a bruise from the last time I didn't listen to them." Aragorn said.
After much argument we were headed to see Galadriel.
"I'm waiting for the talking to the mind thing she does." Lisa said cheerfully.
I know why you're here, a voice inside my head said.
"Right on cue." Lisa whispered.
You have caused things to happen that should not have. You all will serve out your sentence for what you have done.
"What do you suppose that means?" Courtney asked.
"I really don't want to know." I answered.
"Hah!" Lisa said. "I know exactly what it means!"
I groaned. "I remember saying I didn't want to know."
"It means she's going to kill us!" Lisa finished.
Courtney and I stared at her. The only noise you could hear was the thudding of boots (feet) against the ground.
"Well," Courtney said at last, "at least she's being a pessimist."
I giggled a little.
"That's not funny." Lisa snapped in a serious tone of voice.
Galadriel didn't speak to us for a whole hour until we actually met her, but it was obvious that she was speaking mind to mind with everyone else. Frodo's head kept turning trying to pinpoint a voice from no organ, and Boromir was trying desperately to hold back tears. I sided up next to Frodo.
"Hello Frodo." I whispered to him.
"I'm not Frodo, I'm Samwise." Sam answered.
"Sorry Sam, all you hobbits look the same in the dark. Except for Pippin, he's a whole half a foot taller than most of you."
"No need to apologize." He said yawning. "I was just about to call you 'Lisa'. Really, I can't tell you two apart when it's dark like this."
"You can't even tell us apart during the day." Then as an afterthought, "Sorry."
"About what?" he asked.
"About having you all travel during the night like this. Sorry I.I."I trailed off then muttered to myself, "Sorry for being in this hellhole of a place."
Apparently, I didn't say it quietly enough.
"Language Laura." Lisa said. "We want to make a good impression for Middle Earth about our way of life."
I laughed. "Then they got the wrong century, and the wrong people. We're swearing left and right and we don't exactly respect people do we?"
"Well," Courtney said, "at least we don't put on an act. What you see is what you get."
That was the wrong choice of words because this gave Lisa the idea to sing.
"What you see, is what you get, this is me, hey you, if you want me don't forget, you should take, me as I am." and she sang the whole song over and over until we got to Galadriel.
We all stood there stiff as a board and silent. She and Celeborn walked down these stairs. Celeborn whisked Gandalf away to talk to him and Galadriel said a short speech, then asked us to step aside while everyone else went to sleep.
"Can we speed this up Lady G, I'm a little tired." Lisa yawned.
"I know you are not of this timeline. You have many questions to ask me. I will not answer them now for I believe it is too early to tell you and I do not have answers to many. However, I do have something to give you to make your stay much more enjoyable." And with that she gave us each a small box with CD's on top of it. "It is what you call CD's and a CD player. Just call it a little Elven magic." She winked and walked away.
I looked at my CD's. I had Britney Spears "Oops I did it again", Christina Aguilera (the first one), Vanessa Carlton "Be Not Nobody", Charlie's Angels Soundtrack, and the Spirit Soundtrack. Lisa had all three *NSYNC CD's, the Shrek Soundtrack, and Pink "Missundaztood". Courtney had the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack, Linkin Park, the Tarzan Soundtrack, and the Titanic Soundtrack.
I laid down to go to sleep when all of a sudden I heard.
"LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDID THING, LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE."
Courtney was blasting the "Elephant Love Melody".
"Courtney," I groaned, "What the hell are you doing?"
Lisa answered. "We found the volume button! Check it out! There are headphones!"
Courtney continued, "They're in this compartment. And look in this compartment, we can store CD's!"
Lisa laughed. "Brining Hollywood to Lothlorien!"
I giggled remembering that day in Rivendell.
"Ladies!" We heard Aragorn yell from the dark, then we heard a sword getting drawn from its sheath.
"Shit." We said together and went to sleep rather quickly.
The CD's had brought my bad mood up to a good mood, until the next morning. I awoke Lisa yelling,
"Get up troops! We have a lot of work to do today!"
"Lisa," Courtney groaned turning to her other side," shut the hell up and get back in the damn bed."
"For your bad mouthing soldier, you'll make that twenty push ups and forty curl ups!"
Sure enough, Lisa had us doing push-ups and curl ups. Then she made us do jumping jacks.
"I don't know what I've been told!" Lisa sang.
"I don't know what I've been told." Courtney and I said groggily.
Off in the distance I heard Aragorn saying; "Smartest thing they've done so far."
Finally Lisa stopped being a drill Sargent, sat down, and blared: Baha Men "Best Years of Our Lives". I managed to drag myself to an overly large tree root/branch thing, and thought.
Not for the first time I thought about home. About how far away we were from it; and how we were going to get back. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe we were all going to wake up soon. How long would it take for us to die?
But I also thought about how I was in my favorite book of all time. I was actually seeing Boromir, Frodo, and Gandalf. I was on a non-stop tour of Middle Earth.
I smiled and looked down at my CD's. I was in a country kind of mood today, but nobody had any country. Oh well. I put in Spirit instead, closed my eyes, and did absolutely nothing. It was the best thing in the world. However, I only got halfway through the first song when Courtney interrupted me.
"Laura," she whispered turning down my music, "it's happening tonight."
"What's happening?" I asked confused.
She rolled her eyes. "The mirror, duh."
What was she - oh. "Oh! The mirror thing. How do you know?"
"Espionage." She said turning up my music and walking away.
I made a mental note of that in the back of my mind. I changed my CD to the Charlie's Angels Soundtrack.
"Laura!" Lisa yelled. "Let's teach these hobbits how to get down!" I saw Courtney behind her smiling, nodding in agreement. I smiled too, changing it to number six.
"Oh my Gawd. Becky look at her butt, it is so big."
It was pretty funny seeing the hobbits 'get down'. For the next hour we finally got the hobbits to dance right for their next date at a party. We all seemed to get closer too. Funny as it seems, I could almost call them my friends. But, they weren't real. They were just a figment of Tolkien's imagination.
Or were they?
Courtney, Lisa, and I walked away a bit into some of the bigger trees.
"Okay," Courtney began, "How the hell do we get out of this?"
"Good question." Lisa stated picking up a leaf.
"Laura?" Courtney asked.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you have any ideas?"
"No, you know what I don't. And I don't give a damn. We've been through hell and we've been through heaven. You want to get a plan now? It's a little late. I've made up my mind. I don't want to go back. Lord of the Rings is fine by me."
"What about everything else?" Lisa asked. "What about everything we left behind?"
"What about it? I was going insane I needed something to happen, and you know what, here it is. The hobbits know how to live happy lives, they don't know about murders. They didn't have to watch all those people die on 9- 11."
"Is that what this is all about?" Lisa shrieked. "You don't want to live in a world with murdering maniacs? You think it's unfair? Well, tough! When the world throws stuff at you, you deal. Just deal with it."
"Don't be a dumbass Laura," Courtney said through gritted teeth trying not to yell.
"I'm not trying to be!" I said throwing my hands up.
"Laura!" Courtney screamed forgetting the trying not to yell, "If it weren't for the fact that you're my friend and we need you," she took her sword out from it's sheath, "I'd chop off your head!" She swung at a tree when something happened.
"Heather!" I yelled lunging to push her to the ground. Courtney changed the direction of her sword narrowly missing Lisa.
"Watch it!" Lisa yelled.
"Sorry." Courtney said sheathing her sword.
"Heather?" I asked getting off of her. Heather was our English friend from the real world. Or, the other real world. Anyway you get my point. She had just appeared just as Sam did in Moria.
"Well who else would it be?"
"A Keebler Elf." Lisa supplied.
"Where are we?" Heather asked.
I sighed. "Do you want the truth?"
"The whole truth and nothing but the truth?" Lisa added.
"Well, I think this is a dream, and you're in it." Heather said.
"Dream?" Courtney asked in disbelief. "Does this look or feel like a dream?"
"Actually, no." She said looking around. "But these trees are huge. And that person there looks like, well, Pippin."
"PIPPIN!" We all yelled. Well, Courtney, Lisa, and I.
"Well of course. I was wondering when you were going to notice I was standing here. Who is that?"
"That, my friend, is an Elf." Lisa said putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Then why does she look, well, different?"
"She's wearing the new line of Elven-clothing." Lisa said smiling.
"Well, it certainly doesn't look Elven."
"Pippin, your scarf, well, it doesn't look hobbitish either." She led Pippin away.
"Heather, how did you get here?" Courtney whispered.
"I was watching Lord of the Rings and they were in Lothlorien."
"And." I pressed.
"We're in Lothlorien aren't we?" she asked excitedly.
"Yeah, and in deep shit." Courtney said. "How the hell are we going to explain you?"
"Well, they're on the boats now."
"What are you talking about?" I asked frustrated.
"I was watching the movie and they were in the boats, look you can see them through the trees there." she pointed and that's when I understood. They were getting the boats together.
"Heather, you're a." I began but Courtney cut me off with a high-pitched scream.
"HOLY HELL! SHIT! DAMN!"
"What?" I yelled turning around pulling out my sword.
"She's gone." Courtney said shakily.
A light upstairs clicked on.
We got out of Moria. We had more people liking us such as Frodo, Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, and Sam. It was better than before when they just talked to us because they were trying to be nice. Courtney finally accepted that I let go so Gandalf could pull her up and save her.
"So," Lisa said making conversation since we had a long walk to Lothlorien, "why did you save Frodo anyway?"
"Right then it was all about the adrenaline rush."
"Imagine that." Courtney muttered.
"But now that I think about it, maybe it could mean more people trust us."
"Well, I'm sure that worked out real well." Lisa said. "Aragorn still hates us. Who knows about Boromir and Legolas and Gimli try to avoid us if at all possible."
"Well, Aragorn is probably ticked at me because I 'injured' him in Moria."
"What!" Courtney yelled.
"You know, I gave him a nudge to hurt his pride. And maybe there's a bruise." I said.
"Oh, yeah!" Courtney yelled.
"Ladies!" Aragorn shouted.
"Sorry." We all said back.
"We will rest for an hour then continue to Lothlorien."
Courtney took this as an okay to start yelling (quietly) again.
"I'm so sure Aragorn is intimidated by a thirteen year old!" she looked at Lisa for support.
"Don't look at me. I'm on Laura's side. Aragorn is a son of a bitch and shouldn't be on this mission. He didn't try to save Gandalf. He almost killed us. I mean, some on!"
The whole time Aragorn was standing directly behind her.
"He's standing behind me, isn't he?" she asked.
We nodded our heads.
"Should I run?"
"Oh yeah." I said.
But Aragorn put his hand on her shoulder, laughed, and said, "As long as we can be honest."
I stood there wide-eyed and mouth open.
"And while we're at it," he continued, "I don't exactly think you're the best one for the quest either. I seem to remember you all suddenly popping up in a secret council."
"Well." Courtney began.
"It's kind of hard to explain." I said.
"Really hard." Lisa tried.
"Someday." He said and walked away.
Courtney, Lisa, and I stood there in silence.
"Well," I said, "that was weird."
"Does this mean he likes us?" Lisa asked.
"Forget that. Should we tell them?" Courtney questioned.
"How about.no." I said. "We don' tell them how we got here until we know how to get home."
"Home." Lisa said quietly.
"Yeah." Courtney whispered.
"Anyone have any red, ruby slippers?" Lisa asked.
"What?" I questioned.
"Then I could say 'there's no place like home' three times and tap my heels together."
"My God Lisa!" Courtney cried. But even she could see Lisa was trying to lighten the mood.
After an hour we made our way to Lothlorien. We crossed a river and we had crossed what Legolas called, 'the border to an Elven land of old'. When he started to sing, I protested and he stopped.
That's when we all bumped into Haldir. And I was ticked when he said we would rest tonight then see Galadriel tomorrow.
"Excuse me, Haldir?"
"Yes Lady Laura?"
"You mean to tell me we've traveled all this way just to rest! Couldn't we rest, NOT SO NEAR THE BORDER!"
"Excuse my sister." Lisa said, "We've traveled a long way and we wanted to see her tonight."
"And if you need a translation," Courtney chimed in, "its, get off your lazy ass and take us to Galadriel or we're going to have to kick your ass!"
"You had better listen to them. I have a bruise from the last time I didn't listen to them." Aragorn said.
After much argument we were headed to see Galadriel.
"I'm waiting for the talking to the mind thing she does." Lisa said cheerfully.
I know why you're here, a voice inside my head said.
"Right on cue." Lisa whispered.
You have caused things to happen that should not have. You all will serve out your sentence for what you have done.
"What do you suppose that means?" Courtney asked.
"I really don't want to know." I answered.
"Hah!" Lisa said. "I know exactly what it means!"
I groaned. "I remember saying I didn't want to know."
"It means she's going to kill us!" Lisa finished.
Courtney and I stared at her. The only noise you could hear was the thudding of boots (feet) against the ground.
"Well," Courtney said at last, "at least she's being a pessimist."
I giggled a little.
"That's not funny." Lisa snapped in a serious tone of voice.
Galadriel didn't speak to us for a whole hour until we actually met her, but it was obvious that she was speaking mind to mind with everyone else. Frodo's head kept turning trying to pinpoint a voice from no organ, and Boromir was trying desperately to hold back tears. I sided up next to Frodo.
"Hello Frodo." I whispered to him.
"I'm not Frodo, I'm Samwise." Sam answered.
"Sorry Sam, all you hobbits look the same in the dark. Except for Pippin, he's a whole half a foot taller than most of you."
"No need to apologize." He said yawning. "I was just about to call you 'Lisa'. Really, I can't tell you two apart when it's dark like this."
"You can't even tell us apart during the day." Then as an afterthought, "Sorry."
"About what?" he asked.
"About having you all travel during the night like this. Sorry I.I."I trailed off then muttered to myself, "Sorry for being in this hellhole of a place."
Apparently, I didn't say it quietly enough.
"Language Laura." Lisa said. "We want to make a good impression for Middle Earth about our way of life."
I laughed. "Then they got the wrong century, and the wrong people. We're swearing left and right and we don't exactly respect people do we?"
"Well," Courtney said, "at least we don't put on an act. What you see is what you get."
That was the wrong choice of words because this gave Lisa the idea to sing.
"What you see, is what you get, this is me, hey you, if you want me don't forget, you should take, me as I am." and she sang the whole song over and over until we got to Galadriel.
We all stood there stiff as a board and silent. She and Celeborn walked down these stairs. Celeborn whisked Gandalf away to talk to him and Galadriel said a short speech, then asked us to step aside while everyone else went to sleep.
"Can we speed this up Lady G, I'm a little tired." Lisa yawned.
"I know you are not of this timeline. You have many questions to ask me. I will not answer them now for I believe it is too early to tell you and I do not have answers to many. However, I do have something to give you to make your stay much more enjoyable." And with that she gave us each a small box with CD's on top of it. "It is what you call CD's and a CD player. Just call it a little Elven magic." She winked and walked away.
I looked at my CD's. I had Britney Spears "Oops I did it again", Christina Aguilera (the first one), Vanessa Carlton "Be Not Nobody", Charlie's Angels Soundtrack, and the Spirit Soundtrack. Lisa had all three *NSYNC CD's, the Shrek Soundtrack, and Pink "Missundaztood". Courtney had the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack, Linkin Park, the Tarzan Soundtrack, and the Titanic Soundtrack.
I laid down to go to sleep when all of a sudden I heard.
"LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDID THING, LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE."
Courtney was blasting the "Elephant Love Melody".
"Courtney," I groaned, "What the hell are you doing?"
Lisa answered. "We found the volume button! Check it out! There are headphones!"
Courtney continued, "They're in this compartment. And look in this compartment, we can store CD's!"
Lisa laughed. "Brining Hollywood to Lothlorien!"
I giggled remembering that day in Rivendell.
"Ladies!" We heard Aragorn yell from the dark, then we heard a sword getting drawn from its sheath.
"Shit." We said together and went to sleep rather quickly.
The CD's had brought my bad mood up to a good mood, until the next morning. I awoke Lisa yelling,
"Get up troops! We have a lot of work to do today!"
"Lisa," Courtney groaned turning to her other side," shut the hell up and get back in the damn bed."
"For your bad mouthing soldier, you'll make that twenty push ups and forty curl ups!"
Sure enough, Lisa had us doing push-ups and curl ups. Then she made us do jumping jacks.
"I don't know what I've been told!" Lisa sang.
"I don't know what I've been told." Courtney and I said groggily.
Off in the distance I heard Aragorn saying; "Smartest thing they've done so far."
Finally Lisa stopped being a drill Sargent, sat down, and blared: Baha Men "Best Years of Our Lives". I managed to drag myself to an overly large tree root/branch thing, and thought.
Not for the first time I thought about home. About how far away we were from it; and how we were going to get back. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe we were all going to wake up soon. How long would it take for us to die?
But I also thought about how I was in my favorite book of all time. I was actually seeing Boromir, Frodo, and Gandalf. I was on a non-stop tour of Middle Earth.
I smiled and looked down at my CD's. I was in a country kind of mood today, but nobody had any country. Oh well. I put in Spirit instead, closed my eyes, and did absolutely nothing. It was the best thing in the world. However, I only got halfway through the first song when Courtney interrupted me.
"Laura," she whispered turning down my music, "it's happening tonight."
"What's happening?" I asked confused.
She rolled her eyes. "The mirror, duh."
What was she - oh. "Oh! The mirror thing. How do you know?"
"Espionage." She said turning up my music and walking away.
I made a mental note of that in the back of my mind. I changed my CD to the Charlie's Angels Soundtrack.
"Laura!" Lisa yelled. "Let's teach these hobbits how to get down!" I saw Courtney behind her smiling, nodding in agreement. I smiled too, changing it to number six.
"Oh my Gawd. Becky look at her butt, it is so big."
It was pretty funny seeing the hobbits 'get down'. For the next hour we finally got the hobbits to dance right for their next date at a party. We all seemed to get closer too. Funny as it seems, I could almost call them my friends. But, they weren't real. They were just a figment of Tolkien's imagination.
Or were they?
Courtney, Lisa, and I walked away a bit into some of the bigger trees.
"Okay," Courtney began, "How the hell do we get out of this?"
"Good question." Lisa stated picking up a leaf.
"Laura?" Courtney asked.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you have any ideas?"
"No, you know what I don't. And I don't give a damn. We've been through hell and we've been through heaven. You want to get a plan now? It's a little late. I've made up my mind. I don't want to go back. Lord of the Rings is fine by me."
"What about everything else?" Lisa asked. "What about everything we left behind?"
"What about it? I was going insane I needed something to happen, and you know what, here it is. The hobbits know how to live happy lives, they don't know about murders. They didn't have to watch all those people die on 9- 11."
"Is that what this is all about?" Lisa shrieked. "You don't want to live in a world with murdering maniacs? You think it's unfair? Well, tough! When the world throws stuff at you, you deal. Just deal with it."
"Don't be a dumbass Laura," Courtney said through gritted teeth trying not to yell.
"I'm not trying to be!" I said throwing my hands up.
"Laura!" Courtney screamed forgetting the trying not to yell, "If it weren't for the fact that you're my friend and we need you," she took her sword out from it's sheath, "I'd chop off your head!" She swung at a tree when something happened.
"Heather!" I yelled lunging to push her to the ground. Courtney changed the direction of her sword narrowly missing Lisa.
"Watch it!" Lisa yelled.
"Sorry." Courtney said sheathing her sword.
"Heather?" I asked getting off of her. Heather was our English friend from the real world. Or, the other real world. Anyway you get my point. She had just appeared just as Sam did in Moria.
"Well who else would it be?"
"A Keebler Elf." Lisa supplied.
"Where are we?" Heather asked.
I sighed. "Do you want the truth?"
"The whole truth and nothing but the truth?" Lisa added.
"Well, I think this is a dream, and you're in it." Heather said.
"Dream?" Courtney asked in disbelief. "Does this look or feel like a dream?"
"Actually, no." She said looking around. "But these trees are huge. And that person there looks like, well, Pippin."
"PIPPIN!" We all yelled. Well, Courtney, Lisa, and I.
"Well of course. I was wondering when you were going to notice I was standing here. Who is that?"
"That, my friend, is an Elf." Lisa said putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Then why does she look, well, different?"
"She's wearing the new line of Elven-clothing." Lisa said smiling.
"Well, it certainly doesn't look Elven."
"Pippin, your scarf, well, it doesn't look hobbitish either." She led Pippin away.
"Heather, how did you get here?" Courtney whispered.
"I was watching Lord of the Rings and they were in Lothlorien."
"And." I pressed.
"We're in Lothlorien aren't we?" she asked excitedly.
"Yeah, and in deep shit." Courtney said. "How the hell are we going to explain you?"
"Well, they're on the boats now."
"What are you talking about?" I asked frustrated.
"I was watching the movie and they were in the boats, look you can see them through the trees there." she pointed and that's when I understood. They were getting the boats together.
"Heather, you're a." I began but Courtney cut me off with a high-pitched scream.
"HOLY HELL! SHIT! DAMN!"
"What?" I yelled turning around pulling out my sword.
"She's gone." Courtney said shakily.
A light upstairs clicked on.