Chapter 2-Lisa
My name is Lisa.
Just Lisa. I can't tell you where I live. Or what my last name is. They might find me.
Okay, so they already found me. And if I told you my last name, well it wouldn't really matter because, let's face it, there is no Internet in Middle Earth. Right then I was a prisoner. But I had a plan.
Okay, it was a pretty dumb plan. But, hey, these Uruk-Hai guys couldn't be too smart.
Could they?
My plan was to manipulate the Uruk-Hai into thinking I was on their side. Make them think I killed Merry and Pippin so that they could 'spoil' them. As long as Merry and Pippin cooperated, we'd be home free by midnight. Hah! I didn't need Laura's brains. I didn't need Courtney. Sadly, if they were there, they probably would have seen my fatal flaw.
You see, if my plan did succeed Merry and Pippin would have to continue to play dead. If they stopped we would be out numbered a gazillion to one.
Good thing I hadn't thought of that because I would have been scared shitless to even continue on with the plan.
I was brutally thrown to the ground. Then they kicked me for good measures. I groaned. I had been getting kicked way too much lately. I had bruises everywhere. But one question had been running through my mind though. Why had they taken me?
There was no way to mistake me for a hobbit. I was too tall. I had boots on my feet.
"Why do we continue to carry these foul things?" an Uruk-Hai complained. "Let's just spoil them and eat them." He took out his sword.
Target. He wanted something out of this whole thing. He would at least listen to my 'defect'.
"No. Saruman wants these Halflings alive and unspoiled."
"What about this bigger one? Why waste our energy on her?" a small Uruk-Hai questioned.
I took a deep breath waiting to hear the answer 'food'.
"Saruman says three women youths hold the key to another universe."
"And how would you know that?" the small one asked.
I was in shock. Courtney, Laura, and I could let Saruman get out of this universe? Shit! And I was going toward him? I didn't think so. Even though our world was pretty messed up, I didn't want to condemn it to that. My plan needed to go into action tonight. So that meant I had to explain everything to Merry and Pippin. I scooted five feet across the ground to get to them.
Merry had a huge gash above his eyebrow. Pippin looked like a train wreck. We all had been through a lot. I felt sorry for them more than I did for myself. They could have been back in the Shire.
No. No they couldn't have. Saruman was destroying everything. The Shire would be destroyed. "Merry, Pippin." I said. They turned to look at me. "Lisa's plan number one is being called into action."
I told them of my plan. They nodded in agreement. They thought it could work. I hoped it would work. It had to work.
"Hey, you!" I called to the Uruk-Hai I had targeted out earlier. He looked at me. "Yeah, you."
"What do you want, you stinking piece of flesh."
"I'm here to offer you a way to rule over Saruman. That's right! All of Middle Earth is yours for just a small price of.getting me out of theses bonds." I said in my best salesperson voice.
"How can I trust your word, human?"
I smiled. "I'll kill them. For you to eat." I pointed at Merry and Pippin who were pretending to sleep.
He shook his head in agreement. HA! Sucker! He was totally buying it! Finally! TV was coming in handy!
The Uruk-Hai undid my bonds and kicked Merry and Pippin 'awake'. "Get up Halflings!" he yelled. They quickly stood up doing a pretty good job of looking scared. I was handed my sword and stepped in front of Merry. He looked like he was going to pass out. I was about to mutter 'It's okay' to him when I noticed that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking behind me.
I looked behind me and noticed all of the Uruk-Hai watching my act.
"Oh shit." I mumbled. How was I going to escape if every one of those last guys were watching me?
"Get on with it!" one yelled.
The watch! Laura's watch I stole from her! I could use that! "Have no fear.umm.my.Uruk-Hai."
I stood in front of Merry who had his arms by his sides. I took the sword back and just as I drove it toward him he yelled:
"You."
He didn't have time to finish because I drove the sword between his arm and upper body. I didn't really stab him. But, boy, did Merry know how to act.
A roar echoed around me.
"Hey!" I yelled. "I need total silence! No eating until both are dead!"
Did they notice? Did they notice Merry wasn't really dead? I hoped not.
I moved in front of Pippin. I pulled back my sword and drove it between his arm and his upper body. Only, this time, I wasn't so accurate. I nicked his arm.
"You drew blood." He said.
"Of course I drew blood. I'm killing you." I replied trying to keep up my act.
"That wasn't part of the plan!" he yelled.
"What plan?" I questioned frantically.
Another roar erupted from the Uruk-Hai. Only this time, it didn't sound all too encouraging.
"You dirty, rotten cheat!" The Uruk-Hai yelled.
"Kill them!" another yelled.
"No! Please! I can explain." I yelled.
But they weren't having it. They pulled out their swords and growled. Hell, they probably said a curse in another language. Then they started to come toward us.
"What do we do?" Merry yelled while getting up.
"Lisa's plan number two is being called into action!" I said still holding my sword.
"And what would that be?" Pippin asked.
"RUN!" I screamed.
That's when arrows started to pour down like rain.
Flit! Flit! Flit!
"Shit!" I screamed. "The freaking Rohirrim!"
"The who?" Merry questioned.
"The good.never mind! I didn't even understand who they were in the book! Just run!" I cried.
"What book!" Pippin yelled.
"Lord of the.damn!" I said. I had just given away our biggest secret.
We ran. And as we ran Uruk-Hai were dropping like flies. Arrows piercing skulls and chests. Blood was going everywhere.
But I didn't notice. We ran until our feet could go no further, and by that time we were deep in Fangorn Forest.
My name is Lisa.
Just Lisa. I can't tell you where I live. Or what my last name is. They might find me.
Okay, so they already found me. And if I told you my last name, well it wouldn't really matter because, let's face it, there is no Internet in Middle Earth. Right then I was a prisoner. But I had a plan.
Okay, it was a pretty dumb plan. But, hey, these Uruk-Hai guys couldn't be too smart.
Could they?
My plan was to manipulate the Uruk-Hai into thinking I was on their side. Make them think I killed Merry and Pippin so that they could 'spoil' them. As long as Merry and Pippin cooperated, we'd be home free by midnight. Hah! I didn't need Laura's brains. I didn't need Courtney. Sadly, if they were there, they probably would have seen my fatal flaw.
You see, if my plan did succeed Merry and Pippin would have to continue to play dead. If they stopped we would be out numbered a gazillion to one.
Good thing I hadn't thought of that because I would have been scared shitless to even continue on with the plan.
I was brutally thrown to the ground. Then they kicked me for good measures. I groaned. I had been getting kicked way too much lately. I had bruises everywhere. But one question had been running through my mind though. Why had they taken me?
There was no way to mistake me for a hobbit. I was too tall. I had boots on my feet.
"Why do we continue to carry these foul things?" an Uruk-Hai complained. "Let's just spoil them and eat them." He took out his sword.
Target. He wanted something out of this whole thing. He would at least listen to my 'defect'.
"No. Saruman wants these Halflings alive and unspoiled."
"What about this bigger one? Why waste our energy on her?" a small Uruk-Hai questioned.
I took a deep breath waiting to hear the answer 'food'.
"Saruman says three women youths hold the key to another universe."
"And how would you know that?" the small one asked.
I was in shock. Courtney, Laura, and I could let Saruman get out of this universe? Shit! And I was going toward him? I didn't think so. Even though our world was pretty messed up, I didn't want to condemn it to that. My plan needed to go into action tonight. So that meant I had to explain everything to Merry and Pippin. I scooted five feet across the ground to get to them.
Merry had a huge gash above his eyebrow. Pippin looked like a train wreck. We all had been through a lot. I felt sorry for them more than I did for myself. They could have been back in the Shire.
No. No they couldn't have. Saruman was destroying everything. The Shire would be destroyed. "Merry, Pippin." I said. They turned to look at me. "Lisa's plan number one is being called into action."
I told them of my plan. They nodded in agreement. They thought it could work. I hoped it would work. It had to work.
"Hey, you!" I called to the Uruk-Hai I had targeted out earlier. He looked at me. "Yeah, you."
"What do you want, you stinking piece of flesh."
"I'm here to offer you a way to rule over Saruman. That's right! All of Middle Earth is yours for just a small price of.getting me out of theses bonds." I said in my best salesperson voice.
"How can I trust your word, human?"
I smiled. "I'll kill them. For you to eat." I pointed at Merry and Pippin who were pretending to sleep.
He shook his head in agreement. HA! Sucker! He was totally buying it! Finally! TV was coming in handy!
The Uruk-Hai undid my bonds and kicked Merry and Pippin 'awake'. "Get up Halflings!" he yelled. They quickly stood up doing a pretty good job of looking scared. I was handed my sword and stepped in front of Merry. He looked like he was going to pass out. I was about to mutter 'It's okay' to him when I noticed that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking behind me.
I looked behind me and noticed all of the Uruk-Hai watching my act.
"Oh shit." I mumbled. How was I going to escape if every one of those last guys were watching me?
"Get on with it!" one yelled.
The watch! Laura's watch I stole from her! I could use that! "Have no fear.umm.my.Uruk-Hai."
I stood in front of Merry who had his arms by his sides. I took the sword back and just as I drove it toward him he yelled:
"You."
He didn't have time to finish because I drove the sword between his arm and upper body. I didn't really stab him. But, boy, did Merry know how to act.
A roar echoed around me.
"Hey!" I yelled. "I need total silence! No eating until both are dead!"
Did they notice? Did they notice Merry wasn't really dead? I hoped not.
I moved in front of Pippin. I pulled back my sword and drove it between his arm and his upper body. Only, this time, I wasn't so accurate. I nicked his arm.
"You drew blood." He said.
"Of course I drew blood. I'm killing you." I replied trying to keep up my act.
"That wasn't part of the plan!" he yelled.
"What plan?" I questioned frantically.
Another roar erupted from the Uruk-Hai. Only this time, it didn't sound all too encouraging.
"You dirty, rotten cheat!" The Uruk-Hai yelled.
"Kill them!" another yelled.
"No! Please! I can explain." I yelled.
But they weren't having it. They pulled out their swords and growled. Hell, they probably said a curse in another language. Then they started to come toward us.
"What do we do?" Merry yelled while getting up.
"Lisa's plan number two is being called into action!" I said still holding my sword.
"And what would that be?" Pippin asked.
"RUN!" I screamed.
That's when arrows started to pour down like rain.
Flit! Flit! Flit!
"Shit!" I screamed. "The freaking Rohirrim!"
"The who?" Merry questioned.
"The good.never mind! I didn't even understand who they were in the book! Just run!" I cried.
"What book!" Pippin yelled.
"Lord of the.damn!" I said. I had just given away our biggest secret.
We ran. And as we ran Uruk-Hai were dropping like flies. Arrows piercing skulls and chests. Blood was going everywhere.
But I didn't notice. We ran until our feet could go no further, and by that time we were deep in Fangorn Forest.