Hey guys, about the first fanfiction, well, this is another one of mine. Self insert again with the typical OP but not too godlike in magic etc. but what SI is not OP? Slight multi crossover with the most mentioned is fate stay night and World of warcraft. The story only has four or five elements of fate/stay night in it. First is Tracing and Unlimited blade works because it is so fucking OP. Next is Runes or Formal craft because it's so useful though it's going to have harry potter fanfiction point of view on how it affects the enchanted object in which it is applied to. Next is Circuits or magic circuits just because. Next is servants again, supper cool concept of having someone whose got your back, only limited to two summoning though so no super powerful army of super humans. Last is well super yummy food, the best quality of power Shiro has, death through foodgasm.
Disclaimer: Dranz Von K. Arch would like to inform the readers of this story that he does not own, claim to own or posses the right to own the following characters, weapons or armor of the stories especially the stories mentioned and used. As this is a fanfiction, Dranz Von K. Arch hopes that the actual owners of the following Intellectual Properties and copyrights that are owned by their respective owners understand the intent of this disclaimer that the writer of this fanfiction does not claim to own anything that may be related to the following Intellectual Properties or copyrights mentioned.
Chapter 1
Year 2019
It is a good Saturday morning, birds are chirping, squirrels are running back and forth, up and down the tree. People are busy tending to things on their own and some are even enjoying the sunny day Jogging and gardening. In one house we see a young man about 19 years old paying a guy that was delivering his order of raw leather and red and white rolls of silk.
"Well there goes my paycheck." A young male voice says as he leaves the door.
"Well it could be worth it, Comicon is just 3 weeks away and I still need to finish my costume." The young voice said in a very depressed voice.
Hey, you will get depressed too if the leather you ordered cost 9 USD per cm and 160 USD for 2 rolls of silk fabric. Really over the top for an Archer EMIYA costume but hell I'm planning to win this year so it's got to be perfect. Last year's Lancer (Cu'Chulane) costume got me 2nd place, now though I'm planning on winning.
Heh, well now that we have that established, I'm a 20 year old Otaku cosplayer, A decent Archer, weapon smith and armorer, musician and a very very good cook if my ex girlfriends may say so.
My name is Legolas Elvyn Archer, yes my last name is Archer and yes my given name is Legolas Elvyn, laugh it up. Like I care, I get that enough from my friends to ignore the Irony of that kind of name. But at least my middle name is awesome, my mom Felicity Briggs now Archer married my Dad Oliver which is another irony and made me and my little sister Artemis. Both are suckers for Lord of the rings and grandpa Orion is a sucker for Green arrow, it's a family tradition to name a child of our family for famous fact or fiction Archer.
And yes Grandpa was very pleased of my mother, specifically her name, especially when that TV series Arrow came up. He was so proud his son married my mother that day he saw the TV series. I'm 6'2 and I am a Caucasian with long Blonde hair another irony that I am sort of happy about. Some people say I look kind of like a tall Orlando Bloom in permanent Legolas look, but who gives a shit? Although I do enjoy Archery which is super relaxing especially Kyudo so I gues I have something in common with my namesake in Tolkien's work.
I even got to compete in an Archery tournament in Seattle last year, never won though, my bow snapped when I released my arrow it hit near the bulls eye but that was better that the lucky shot my opponent got a bulls eye for the first time in the competition where I got it 4 times out of 5. Well nevermind that, due to me being an Otaku and cosplayer, it got me into the hobby of blacksmithing as well. Dad and Grandpa were ok with it I guess, I get money from orders made by the local HEMA groups that I also attend and some from cosplayers so I get around. I got my own place somewhere in Saskatchewan, Canada, if you expect me to tell you where exactly I live, well expect all you want I'm not telling.
Got myself a 3 floor house if you include the very big basement I call the HQ where all my Anime memorabilia and anything anime related. I also have a garage where I park my two cars, a ford Raptor and my recent purchase of a Ford Mustang Shelby. I also have my very own man cave in the form of my very big and expanded Basement. This is where I display and store all my anime and Pop culture memorabilia, toys, books, Blue ray disks and my Hard drives full of anime and TV shows that I like.
There is also my office which is also in there in a separate 'room' which has a standard wooden desk a spinney office chair, a taxidermied buck's head that I have hunted, big rack that one. And my holy grail of a fridge full of soda drinks and beer. Though I also have a liquor cabinet at the shelf behind my desk and chair but those are for special occasions.
That's enough backstory, I'll get back to you later after I win Comicon 2019.
Three Weeks Later
I was driving back from the airport along with my purchases this year at comicon. And let me tell you for those who had faith in me that I did not win this year's best costume award. Well I'm still in 2nd place, but really!? Wolverine wearing samurai armor in his colors gets first place whilst an Archer EMIYA with long real dyed white hair styled as an elegant Chinese ponytail with very high quality materials and real weapons only gets 2nd place?
Real bummer, although I enjoyed browsing and buying anime and other pop culture memorabilia, hey I even found a 5 leaf clover book from black clover that contains all of archer EMIYA's traced weapons and the incantations for his and Shiro's version of summoning their reality Marble. I also got myself a Life sized Dire wolf statue that was made with real wolf fur.
Apparently they stretched the head of a normal grey wolf so they can fit inside a 3d printed skeleton of a dire wolf and used ballistic gel for its flesh , what can I say those Game of thrones fans really outdid themselves since last there is also my life size saber tooth tiger from the World of Warcraft booth which also was made by the same manufacturer that made the dire wolf so yeah.
I also bought 7 classcards, one for Saber with Nero's picture on it, one for Archer who is Gilgamesh, one for Rider who is Iskander, one for Caster who is Illyasviel, one for Lancer who is Karna that OP sonovabitch, one for Berseker who is Lancelot, and one for assassin which is the first assassin in fate/zero Hassan-i-sabbah.
What can I say, I like these characters and though as much as I like them I like Illyasviel the most, she is cute as Fuck and I seriously have a fetish for young looking chicks, now I know what you're thinking, 'What the fuck man? She's like 8 years old you pedophile shit.'
Well let me tell you fuckers something I'm no Pedophile. As all competent and legitimate Fate series fan I will have you know she was 8 years old in Fate/Zero but fuck she is 18 years old in fate/stay night where I will tell you in some places 18 year old chicks can and have gotten married at that age. And she is what most would call a Legal Loli that can be explained with being born with a distorted growth rate.
So suck on that, it also says so on the back of the classcard that the picture Illya was in was taken from a scene in fate stay night so yeah.
Ahem, excuse me for that rant. Now I also bought Kirito's coat from sword art online the version where it's white and red because it looks so cool along with Asuna's KoB Uniform because it looks good when I put those on the mannequins at home.
Oh would you look at that I'm home already, I guess when you rant about something in yourhead time flies by pretty quickly I reached the house in mid noon, people keep staring at the back of my truck where I put the two animal statues I bought from Comicon. Well stare all you can because I'm the guy who has two awesome animal statues that will decorate my office later.
I reached home without much fanfare; I unloaded my purchases from the back of my truck and put it on the livingroom, parked the truck in the garage, went inside and cooked up some coffee, turned on the TV in the livingroom and set the channel to HBO to watch game of thrones, a little while later I fell asleep.
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Poke!
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Poke!
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Poke! Poke!
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Poke!
Poke!
Poke!
"Will you fucking stop that!" I yelled at the annoying shit that keeps poking me.
"Well I say, you young man might probably the most rude person I have ever taken an interest to." said an old man's voice.
As I hear the voice I suddenly wake up thinking someone has broken into my house. Where I apparently I was so tired I forgot about the boxes and statues I bought and tripped on the offending box of Sword art Online costumes.
"Shiiiit." my pained cry was released as I flew straight into the floor where thankfully clear of any stuff especially my precious animal statues.
"Well now that's a first. Not even 5 minutes and you already amuse me." Said the old man in what I would assume to be an amused tone of voice.
"What the fuck are you doing here, and who are you?" As I watch the old man in front of me I quickly observe the appearance of the old man in case the police needs the description of the intruder of my home.
Well let's see, Black Dress shoes, a little too formal for a robbery. Black Slacks, who wears slacks in a robbery? Black jacket with white trim topped with a black short cape with gold fastenings, what the hell is this guy wearing for a robbery, the face of the guy looks to be shaped like Arnold Schwarzenegger with a hooked nose, a spiky grey beard that reaches his grey hair and red glowing vampire eyes. It seems legit.
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Wait….
RED GLOWING VAMPIRE EYES!
No.
It can't be. . . .
It's not possible. . .
But red glowing vampire eyes, who else can do that.
The attire he is wearing, that smiling 'I'm going to prank you' expression.
There is only one being I can say that has that look. And if this old man is present in front of a person in question. Somewhere in the universe a writer is writing a fan fiction that a lot of people are going to read, about this person that is going to be transported to another reality with awesome powers.
"Is it really you?" I asked in a revered tone.
"Yes, lad it is me." He replied in a surprisingly serious tone.
"B-but, how?"
"I know, my boy. But now I am here and there is only one thing I want to say."
"Ye-yes?"
"I. . . . Am your father." And with that the mood was killed instantly
Two seconds later, my revered face turned into what you would call in an anime a deadpan complete with the accompanying sweat drop.
"Really" I asked. "You just ruined a perfect opportunity for an Epic Introduction just so you can recite an old meme?"
"What can I say; your expectations allowed me a good opportunity for a prank." The old man said.
"Well there is no use introducing you anyway. I know who you are, and before you say anything. I am your biggest fan! The pranks, the self-insert fan fictions, they might paint you in a bad light but man all I see is someone who seeks to liven up the infinite realities that wants to be entertained."
"Well now, that actually sums up my work for the past decades or so. Well young man is it finally true? does someone finally understand the duty imposed to me by the root?"
"It's pretty simple to be honest, I mean apart from the difficulty that is gaining access to the second true magic, there has to be some kind of price, and it might just be servitude of the multiple realities that might appear to be fiction from another realities point of view. And it's your job to provide new perspective to the branching alternate realities in the form of Self-Inserted characters. Amusement is just the Icing on the cake apart from Unlimited magical energy coming from realities with so much mana in their air."
"Well now, since you actually understand my job, I guess you know what happens now?" he asked in an amused tone.
"Do I get to pick where and when?" I asked almost giddily.
"Hmm, I suppose so since you look willing. I'm not sure about the when though that's the Blues shtick."
"Can it be Game of Thrones?" I asked hopefully.
"It can, though why game of thrones? If you really want it you can but about the time you arrive there, my guess is between 286 AC to 295 AC.? But why not Highschool DxD or The Familiar of Zero?" he asked me.
"Well, maybe next time, as for the reason, I want to mess up the game quite a bit. Prank Baelish, Annoy Cersei and Robbert Baratheon, Bitchslap Rhaegar though I guess it's too late for that, and I suppose joining tyrion lannister in pissing on top of the wall. And plus Magic Ice Zombies!" I nearly shout at the end of my sentence.
"Well, what about World of Warcraft? It also has Magical Ice Zombies." He counters.
"But they have Boobs. Game of thrones has Boobs." I argued.
"So does Highschool DxD and Zero no Tsukaima." He retorts.
"Well I don't know what they will look like in real life so yeah I got you there." I stated triumphantly.
"Well alright you've got a point." He conceded.
"So what do you want to bring?" He asked me.
"I get to choose?"
"Well you did have more entertaining motives for choosing GoT, my plan was to send you to either Highschool DxD or Overlord. But since you have successfully got your point across, I'll let you choose." He answered truthfully. This got me thinking while both of those can get me the chance to get laid early on.
The enemies are tuff as fuck so yeah I would rather Throw Wildfire on a Frostbiting Ice Zombie and Die trying with a 50% possibility of surviving rather than fight a fucking Dragon deity that is as big as the fucking universe so yeah Ice Zombies it is then.
"Alright Zelretch take me to Game of thrones universe."
"You got it, well since you already dressed the part why don't I Implant a version of EMIYA into your soul since you actually look the part of a proper archer." He said.
Oh my fucking -.
Really!?
Zelretch is the best.
"And since you are the first to understand I'll even let you bring something and make it real for you." He said.
Hmmm, damn it Legolas think. Think damn it. What would be useful to bring?
"Hurry up kiddo; I have an appointment later for what I assume an ungrateful brat that is unlike you." He impatiently ordered me.
"If you're not going to wait for me to make a proper practical decision that may benefit me. How about you make everything here real and bound to me, and while you're at it bring the house too." I shouted at him. God I hate it when someone pressures me like this when I'm making life changing decisions, then I realized who I was shouting at while staring in horror at what might happen.
"Uhhmm, Sorry about yelling at you like that." I sheepishly scratched the back of my head.
He was silent for a few seconds, and then he burst out laughing like crazy. And in a friendly joking manner he swung his arm around me and rested it on my shoulder and said;
"Boy you got spunk and that's what I like about you, your smart to, you're going to need it where you're you what, how about I actually do as you say and bring the whole house with you. You've got all you need right here kid. Swords and armor on mannequins, A smithy though too advanced for you even though you have a smelter, A life sized Illyasviel Statue, A life sized dire wolf and Saber toothed tiger statues, Skillbooks in whats going to be converted into Skillbooks like those gamer fanfictions you like, hell I don't even have to give you classcards you have your own." he said.
"Quick tip though if you want to turn that statue into a living being well you just have to install the Illya classcard to the statue inorder to turn it and since I know you have the hots for Illya I'll even make it so that she has the Hots for you, the price though you will not be a lord but a landed Knight. Let's say south-western part of wolfswood between the houses of Ryswell, Blackwood and Tallheart territories of the North would suit you two just fine. The house though will be converted to its medieval counterpart but as another favor for you I'll let the basement be since I like the set-up there also to power your electric stuff just engrave the runes for Power and control on the sockets and whala magical electricity kid. The standard rules for technology that came from the future apply here kid. Don't share to others that do not already know about it on their own." He informed then Advised then teased then advised me again.
I just nod my head in awe of the generosity of the Dead Apostle in front of me.
And in just the snap of his fingers my world turned black.
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