Bella had never been known for her sense of self-preservation, and thus it shouldn't have come out as a surprise when she didn't turn around and left when she came across him .
The one Cullen Edward didn't let her interact with at all.
Jasper .
He was sitting on the railing from the balcony with a book at hand.
She felt rather curious about him if she was being honest. For what she was told he was the third gifted vampire from the house; empath . He could feel and manipulate the emotions around him. Sometimes, if he wasn't paying attention, he would also influence others with his own emotions.
Bella found this to be quite the fascinating gift. Though to be honest reading minds and seeing the future also sounded like fascinating talents.
In her growing visits to the Cullen's house these past weeks she had come to notice something about him. He looked less constipated when he wasn't at school and when she had asked Edward about it she had been told the same thing.
"He's still too new to this diet; being around so many humans puts a strain on him. To that add his ability to feel others' emotions."
He was quite the enigma and while she had grown close to most of the Cullens at this point the twins were still near impossible to interact with. Rosalie kept giving her these resentful looks and Jasper...
Well.
He avoided her with such an obsession it was almost off-putting. He left whenever she came to visit and he never spoke to her unless Alice or someone else prompted him to.
And while Edward may think her dumb she wasn't, she did notice how the rare times where Jasper didn't disappear on her no one in the family would allow him anywhere near her or even leave them alone.
Not that he seemed to mind or even make it hard for he himself kept distance and would refuse to be left alone with her.
She understood it. She had heard it enough times by now, he had a hard time around humans due his upbringing , what did that meant? She had no clue, though she did knew Alice and Jasper weren't turned by Carlisle like the others. His eyes were 80% of the time black and she had been around vampires long enough to know what that color meant.
It made him twice as intimidating. But she wasn't one to get scared easily, here from this angle she could see half of his face, his face was as neutral as always, the wind blowing gently on the golden curls.
He looked like a statue perched up there and the fact that he sat so straight gave him an even more bizarre air.
But he made a pretty statue, she had to give him that. It would never cease to amaze her how vampires seemed to wield such mesmerizing beauty, or at least the ones she had come across so far.
Edward was the most beautiful being she had ever laid her gaze upon. Yes. And she loved him with her entire soul. Yes .
But she wasn't blind. She could see all these beautiful vampires.
Rosalie was beauty incarnated and when she had first seen her she hadn't been sure who was the prettiest if Rosalie or Edward.
Sometimes she was glad Edward couldn't read her mind for part of her still saw Rosalie as the most gorgeous Cullen.
Alice looked like some kind of ethereal pixie who could be the queen of fairies or a spirit from the forest itself. There was something almost magical about her appearance that lulled those around her into a sense of absolute trust. Charming .
Esme was just gorgeous. She wielded such air of love and adoration around her that did nothing but make her twice as enticing. Like the kind of person no one could ever lift a finger at without feeling guilt crush them.
Carlisle was so beautiful he had even her dad mesmerized. The entire hospital and he didn't even seem to realize it. Or he did and he was too nice to point it out or acknowledge it.
Emmett was absolutely handsome too and Bella had paid enough attention to know that he also had a few guys drooling over him.
And Jasper was just as stunning. The golden hair and that air of danger he carried around with him like a second skin gave him such a striking beauty it could leave anyone without breath.
All of them were so beautiful and breathtaking in general it made her wonder how could people actually believe they were human.
Like, something so gorgeous and mesmerizing was definitely not human.
Still. Focus .
Carlisle was at work and Edward had been dragged to go hunt with Emmett. Alice was God knows where and Rosalie had gone out when she arrived. Esme was in the kitchen making her lunch.
And Jasper was here .
She knew he knew she was here. He just was choosing to ignore her.
Bella for once decided to ignore the warnings she was given and approached the elusive vampire. He was married to Alice for God's sake, no one who was married to that fairy could be bad, the Cullens sometimes sounded a bit paranoid when it came to Jasper and his control.
Yeah. He sometimes failed at hiding his murder vibes at school but she didn't think it was much to be paranoid about. In fact. He seemed like the quiet and composed type.
-Hey.- She greeted as she came to lean against the railing. Jasper didn't spare her a single look but he did turn around so he wouldn't be facing her but the forest instead.
And for a flickering moment Bella almost grabbed him out of reflex before remembering that a fall from this height would probably do nothing to him and that he also may have better balance than any human could ever dream about having.
-Alice's not here.- He told as a statement of fact. His voice wielding that familiar strained edge.
-I know.
-Esme's in the kitchen.
-I know that too.
He frowned at her words but said nothing. He seemed tense.
-Can I ask you something?
He shrugged.
-How does it feels like?
-... What does it feels like... what?
-To be turned.
~~~~~~~~~
To be turned.
Jasper couldn't help but have his mind halt at those words. Having Bella so close was dangerous, but even then he hadn't been able to escape her proximity, her emotions were strange.
There had been fascination first. Courage. Calm. Then there was curiosity. Then worry when he moved, she had even reached out for him before seeming to remember that he was a vampire and a fall from this height wouldn't hurt him. He found it interesting. He knew he should leave.
But he couldn't.
Because right past his desire to rip her throat open and shut those deafening veins up he actually liked her, sort of, her emotions were as comfortable to be around as Alice's and Esme's, or at least as long as Edward wasn't around because God the lust this girl could feel was disturbing.
Anyways, while he hadn't been around her much so as to avoid killing her and for The Major to not overpower him and kill her he was perfectly aware of her good heart, her loyalty, her compassion, her amazing ability to not judge others, her caring and understanding nature.
For a teenager to wield such a pure heart... She truly was something else, and her love for Edward was almost overwhelming, Edward liked to sulk in a corner about not deserving her and that Bella's attraction to him was a fleeting thing, but Jasper knew better.
As Alice had said.
These two were definitely meant to be.
If only Edward could see it too. Things would be so much easier.
-Jasper?- Bella's voice brought him back to the real world and he turned to look at her with a frown.
-Why do you want to know? Can't you ask Edward?
-He doesn't want to tell me and when I asked Emmett all he did was sugar coat it, I was hoping you would be more honest.- She told, her emotions hopeful.
Ah.
-I don't think I'm the right person to ask that, you should ask Carlisle.- He told, Carlisle was the only option he could come up with, asking Rosalie would be suicidal, Alice didn't even remember her own transformation and Esme... She may also sugar coat it.
Confusion stained Bella's emotions.
-Why? Can't you just tell me?
No .
His transformation wasn't the same as a poisonous vampire's. Maria had bitten him and waited until he was screaming his lungs out as the river of fire ate him from the inside out before force feeding him that black blood she had in a vial.
The sun then had explode from within and ripped him open. He had blazed and screamed and twisted and scratched in a desperated attempt to rid himself of the maddening fire crawling beneath his skin. Acid. Lava. The pain had almost made him go insane. Flashes of red. His chest collapsing in on itself. Bones shattering under an unwanted transformation into that humanoid beast.
Her words had never made more sense.
•I hope you survive.•
Not even during his worst tortures had he ever wished death as much as during his transformation.
The overwhelming rage that came later along with the thirst could have made him slaughter an entire country down.
-My transformation was... complicated, what I felt won't compare to what you may feel. To you...- He tried to recall how it felt like when Maria bit him. Not that it was hard considering that kind of pain would forever live in his memory.
Plus.
He was present during a lot of the newborns' transformations. He knew to an extent the pain they had felt, how long it had lasted.
-It may burn a lot, like havin' your blood set on fire, acid runnin' through your veins, it could last up until an hour, and then your heart will stop beatin'.
She didn't seem nor felt scared. Wasn't having doubts either for the looks of it. He wondered why had Edward refused to tell her, he didn't want to turn her, one would think he would be as graphic as possible in describing the transformation in hopes to get Bella changing her mind.
-What about the blood?
That caught his interest.
-What about it?
-How does it smells like? Does it taste like copper for vampires too or does it have some kind of flavor?- Bella asked genuinely curious.
-Human blood smells and tastes rather sweet and while it has no particular "flavor" it does have a sort of salty rust-like aftertaste. Animal blood on the other hand smells weird and unappealin', tastes too bland, an herbivore's blood is specially disgustin', though that may be just me. If Edward decides to turn you, you should go for a carnivore as your first hunt, trust me, you'll thank me later once you eventually end up tastin' deer.- He added as an afterthought, he glanced at her expecting her to look sick or something.
But she wasn't.
She seemed to be deep in thought.
-Is that why Edward was acting so weird when we first met?- Bella questioned.
-No, I mean yes, kind of, it's different.
-Why is it different?
-... You are Edward's singer, to him your blood smells like Heaven, or like his own personal brand of heroin as he likes to put it.
She frowned at him as more confusion bled into her emotions.
-His singer?
-Yeah, that's... there are some humans whose blood smells particularly sweet to some vampires, like, to him your blood is wonderfully sweet but to us is just like any other human blood, we call 'em singers 'cause for the most part it's practically impossible for us to not want it.
-And I'm that to him?
The fascination was back in her emotions but Jasper wasn't sure if it was due the new knowledge about vampires in general or due the extent of what her blood provoked on Edward.
-You don't have to worry, Edward's got the best control over his thirst, right after Carlisle of course.
-I don't worry.- She said that without missing a beat, she truly meant that.
Edward was such an idiot. If he didn't turn her he would lose his only chance at keeping the one woman who would complete him. To find an angel who loved him and trusted him wholeheartedly... That was such a complicated thing to find for a vampire. Find the one to spend eternity with.
He would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't quit that "not wanting to damn her soul" bullshit.
Yeah. It was kind of hypocritical to think that when sometimes he still felt too stained and filthy for Alice but at least Edward didn't wield the sins he did. What did he do? Free the world of scumbags? How sinful.
The sudden wind that blew from the forest flickered a few pages from the book he was holding and he flipped it shut. He tensed as her scent reached him and he bit down on his tongue. He side glanced at Bella. She wasn't looking at him but out at the forest.
And she had a ponytail.
Her neck on display, he could almost see her carotid pulsing with blood, could hear it flowing like a deafening river, his throat burnt.
"Jus' one bite. One little bite. She won' even notice."
The Major's voice made venom accumulate in his mouth.
"Ah promise ah won' kill her. Ya know ah can stop if ah wanna. Jus' lemme give her one little bite. A tiny little one."
He felt his fangs slipping out as he leaned closer to her. Lulling her with calm and drowsiness. The Major was right. No one would notice. They hadn't had a drop of human blood in over four months. Animal blood was still bothersome and brought dizzy spells he refused to acknowledge.
And he still couldn't drink an entire animal in one sitting no matter how thirsty he was.
He had grown weaker through the years, now, he even needed to drink venom twice a day to keep himself from shutting down and he could no longer shapeshift without feeling like he was ripping his bones from the inside out.
One little drop of human blood right now would be paradise.
But then Alice's excited face over meeting Bella flashed in his mind and he halted. Pulling back and stopping his influence on Bella. He sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed his stomach as it leaped. It constricted and made him nauseous. The Major crawled beneath his skin and he shuddered.
-Jasper?- Bella's voice made his throat blaze and he was quick to shove the book into her hands.
-Tell Esme ah went huntin'.- He told barely keeping his strength at bay when he shoved the book into her hands. He just let himself fall from the railing before disappearing into the forest.
But even then he was able to feel it.
Her guilt.
She shouldn't feel guilt.
This curse was no one's fault but Maria's.
Were he a poisonous vampire he wouldn't have troubles at all being around her, he just knew it.