TW: Substance use, self-hatred, self-harming/risky behavior.
A darker Olivia undercover story, post-Lewis Season 15, heed the TW.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she had a hard time believing she was still Olivia Benson. For months now she has played the part of someone else, wondering if that's who she was meant to be all along had she given in to the more off-putting part of her genetic code. Half of my genes are drunk, the other half violent and cruel. A thought that had plagued her entire existence, coming to life one night as she spoke with Elliot after a particularly taxing case. He reassured her that it wasn't always about the genes, that it simply came down to loving your offspring. Laughing bitterly to herself, she cracked her bruised and bloody knuckles. She would say it's unfortunate that she was never really loved as much as a Stoli bottle during her formative years…but conveniently that lack of nurture made the nature of her undercover persona that much more credible.
Running her fingers through her hair, she raked through her dark chestnut curls once more, tousling them to her liking. She turned her head to each side, examining the dark shadow on her lid from every angle, ensuring that it was even. Using her pinky, she swiped at her lower lid, blending and smoking the onyx eyeliner out a bit more. Moving down her face she adjusted the nose ring on her left nostril, happy that she was no longer wincing in pain every time she touched it. God, that piercing had sucked. When her handler had suggested it, she had all but laughed in his face. The only thing stopping her was the sobering realization that his suggestion meant she would be undercover for longer than a few weeks. Faking attributes such as a piercing is easy if the assignment is short-lived, not so much if she we're going to be around the faction she was infiltrating every hour of every day for months on end. At least the subsequent lip piercing was somewhat painless; never as tender as when she would accidentally brush her fingers against it. Shaking her head, she brought herself back to the present, reaching for the dark plum lipstick on her bathroom sink. Using a lip brush, she skillfully applied an opaque layer, taking care to not dirty the small silver ring on the right side of her bottom lip. She took a step back from the sink and stared at herself once more; her eyes more hollow than hopeful, her face more solemn than sunny.
There she is…Irina Novikova.
By the time she had reached the VIP lounge downstairs, the club was packed and the music was blaring. She could barely hear the heels of her thigh high leather boots click against the tile as she headed towards the corner of her usual section, taking note of a few of her associates already lain about seemingly drunk or strung out on the substance of the night. Taking a seat on an available chaise, she felt the hem of her little black dress ride up her thighs, just barely covering the curve of her ass on the seat. Olivia leaned back and crossed her legs, settling in for the moment as she observed the crowd. She thought about her younger days, and how often she had gone out to similar places with both dates and friends alike while she was in college. It's inconceivable now how she never gave a second thought to what might have been lurking in the backrooms of those establishments, to the possible danger she was putting herself in back then. As she watched the crowd of young people dance and drink, she said a silent prayer that none of them would purchase anything from her associates tonight, knowing fully well that wouldn't be the case. It's made her sick over the past few months how many of them have gotten hooked on the drugs her organization is peddling, how many fall too deep into debt that they can't climb out of…often paying for their misdoings with their bodies or, in some cases, their life.
"Irina, my dear. You're looking as deadly as ever."
Forcing a smile, she turned to look at the approaching man she gets to call her partner in this alternate reality, her hand reaching out to accept the vodka glass he was presenting as a peace offering. Never breaking eye contact, she downs it in one shot.
"Don't think this makes up for last night, my love."
He clearly didn't miss the venom seeping out of every word as he held up a finger and reached into his pocket, producing a small baggie filled with a fine white powder. She sat up straighter, swinging her legs around to touch the floor.
"Better not be wasting my time with weak shit, Mikhail."
"Never. It's our newest shipment, straight out of Puglia. Wanna have a taste with me?"
Internally she rolled her eyes, as he motioned with his head for her to follow him to the bathroom. Everything in her wanted to tell him to get lost and that she wasn't in the mood tonight but that would be Olivia talking, not Irina. Irina loved this life. Irina doesn't turn down drugs or sex…or drug-fueled sex, which is exactly what Mikhail was aiming for with his proposition. It was a shame. In a different universe, she wouldn't have found Mikhail to be all that bad, in fact there was a very real possibility she would have been easily seduced by him. Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, muscular physique…yeah, Olivia Benson would've likely said yes to a date or two. A thought that made the notion of having to fuck him all the more bearable. Collecting herself, she stood up and sauntered towards the bathroom, confidently swaying her hips with each step. Opening the bathroom door, she immediately felt a strong grip around her bicep as Mikhail grabbed and shoved her into the first open stall, closing the door. His hands instantly moved to her thighs, pulling her dress up to her waist before reaching behind her to palm her cheeks. Doing her best to looked turned on instead of annoyed, Olivia bit her lip and pushed her lower half against him. As he leaned into kiss her, she held a finger to his lips and cocked her head to the side.
"Breaking a promise already?"
She watched as realization dawned over his features and he reached back into his suit jacket to produce the small baggie he had stored there. Pulling her necklace from between her breasts, she grabbed a hold of the small spoon-like charm as he opened the bag. Taking a small scoop she raised the charm to her nose, snorting the opioid-like substance as he quickly pocketed the remains. Still waiting for the drug to take effect, Olivia made the first move and captured his lips in a bruising kiss, doing her best to delay the inevitable. She faked moans as his hands pawed at her body; groping her breasts before traveling lower toward her exposed lace bottom. Needing to breathe, she braced her hands against his chest pushed him off of her. She could hear his belt buckle jingle as he undid it and swallowed thickly as she heard the familiar sound of a zipper being lowered. Her nerves were quickly subdued by a rush of warmth and she thanked whoever resided up above that the drug was starting to kick in just when she needed it. Turning around to face the side of the stall, she pushed her ass out against him, letting him know she was ready for his taking. Leaning into the euphoria taking over her body, Olivia barely registered when Mikhail thrusted himself inside of her, which, coincidentally, is the way both she and Irina needed this to be.
They emerged a few moments later, gathering a few knowing smirks from their employees, but truth be told Olivia was feeling too good to care. She dropped down onto one the couches dramatically, Mikhail joining her, running his hand along the exposed skin of her thigh. Feeling a vibration against her leg, she pulled her lower half away from him and kissed his neck.
"Baby, can you get me another drink? Please?"
Mikhail returned her kiss, releasing her lips with a smirk.
"Absolutely. I'll be right back."
She watched as he disappeared into the crowd and pulled out the burner phone that was wedged between her inner thigh and the leather of her boot. Placing it to her ear, she answered discreetly.
"Yes?"
"Olivia, it's Fin."
"What can I do for you?"
"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't call you outside our scheduled time, but you've gotta problem down in collections."
Darting her eyes over to her left, she could see her associates were otherwise occupied, not that they would outwardly question her authority. Out of an abundance of caution she lowered her voice to an octave barely above a whisper.
"What kind of problem?"
"The feds didn't want you to know, but you need to…your guys are bringing in Richard Stabler. Now."
Jerking to an upright position, Olivia felt her heart rate begin to climb, fighting against the effects of the opiates she had just ingested.
"You...you sure it's him?"
"Yeah. I don't know what he's gotten himself into, but you need to get out of there, he'll blow your cover."
"How much does he owe?"
"Liv-"
"How much does he owe, Fin?"
She could hear her him exhale on the other end of the line, and closed her eyes, bracing herself.
"45 G's."
"Fuck," She spat out, rubbing at her temple with her free hand. "All right, all right…I'll take care of it."
"Liv no, I called you so you can get outta there. We will-"
"They'll kill him, Fin…they'll kill him. I'm not waiting for either party on this one."
Hanging up, she quickly tucked her phone back into her boot. As she stood, she could see Mikhail making his way through the crowd, vodka in hand as promised. She strolled over, meeting him halfway and snatched the drink from his grip.
"Impatient, I see. Where are you off to?"
Raising the glass to her lips, she met his gaze and shrugged.
"I don't know, but it's getting a little stale down here. I might just take a walk, get some fresh air. Want to join?" She asked knowing full well he wouldn't.
"No, I'm waiting on some friends. Don't be gone too long?"
"Wouldn't dream of it." She assured as she kissed the side of his mouth.
He reached down to give her ass one last squeeze before heading back to their section. She walked forward through the crowd, doing her best to move at a leisurely pace and not alarm anyone else to where she was going. Reaching the side door, she turned back to make sure no one was watching as she slipped through. As she ambled down the corridor, she felt herself fill with rage.
Fucking Dickie Stabler. Really? Where the hell was Elliot? Kathy?
She downed the rest of her vodka; throwing the glass down to the floor next to her, not even flinching as it shattered, sending small crystal fragments everywhere. As she turned the corner, she could hear muffled sounds coming from one of the rooms at the end of the hallway. Continuing forward, she approached the door and cracked it open just enough to see the eldest Stabler boy sitting in a chair in the middle of a barely lit office space. Two of her men were standing over him, and she let out a sigh of relief that no one higher up was handling this situation.
"Ivan, Sergei…mind if I join in on the fun?"
The young men turned to look at her, welcoming smiles on their faces.
"Not at all, Ms. Novikova. To what do we owe this pleasure?"
As she strode further into the room, she locked eyes with the young Stabler. To her benefit, he was bound and gagged, clearly unable to even utter her name. If he was surprised to see her, his face didn't show it and she made a mental note to compliment him on his poker face after this was all over.
"I've gotten a little bored waiting for our friends upstairs. Perhaps you can tell me what the problem is with our little friend here?"
"Kid thought he could be some big-time dealer for us, but ended up using and losing most of our product. About 45k worth."
Olivia nodded, making her way over to the center of the room. She bent over in front of Richard, until she was face to face, her hands on his shoulders.
"Guess we got in over our head, huh?"
She saw him gulp and discreetly squeezed his shoulder in reassurance before turning back to her men.
"Who's gonna be looking for him? Did you check his next of kin?"
Ivan and Sergei looked at each other before answering, "He's a college kid, emancipated, lives alone in some dump of a studio in Queens."
Emancipated?
Shaking her head in annoyance, she turned back to Richard.
"You've got a family, kid?"
He nodded furiously. Whirling around, she made her way over to the two idiots who unknowingly just made her plan a whole lot easier.
"Oh boys…please don't tell me we're detaining our young fellow without knowing what we're putting ourselves up against. Run his name. Now."
Sergei nearly tripped over himself as he hurried over to the computer. Typing in Richard Stabler's name, Olivia could see that he was indeed emancipated from Elliot and Kathy, their names showing up nowhere in relation. Pushing Sergei out of the way, she played around a bit, her knowledge from her era in Computer Crimes coming in handy. After a few moments she managed to pull up Elliot's file, showcasing all of his demographic information including the names of all of his children.
"Well, it seems like we have the son of a retired NYPD Detective sitting with us tonight," Olivia announced. "Tell me, does your father know what you've been up to?"
Richard's response was muffled by the duct tape around his mouth. Pushing away from the computer desk, Olivia crossed the room and roughly yanked the silver strip from his mouth.
"Come again?"
Taking a deep breath, he looked up at Olivia.
"I said…my father doesn't know the details. He does, however, still track my phone."
"Kid's bluffing!" Ivan shouted.
"And if he's not? Congratulations you've just led the NYPD to one of our main headquarters, quite an impressive skill for two schmucks such as yourselves."
Sergei and Ivan stood motionless, noticeably terrified of the woman in front of them.
"If you both want to leave here with your life after this ridiculous fuck-up…I suggest you let me handle this."
"Yes, Ms. Novikova," they muttered simultaneously.
Olivia watched them cross the room, both men avoiding eye contact with her as they exited the office. As soon as the door was closed, she whipped around and scowled at the young Stabler in front of her. Much to her annoyance he didn't even bat at eyelash at her growing rage; instead, in the most sarcastic tone that only a child of Elliot could muster, he greeted her for the first time tonight.
"So…how've you been?"
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