PART TWO
Chapter Ten
As Susan walked away from "Angel Investigations" she knew where her first stop would be ... the local parish. She had not talked to God in sometime and almost felt for the moment that she was the lost lamb. She knew God would be waiting and looking for her, but at the moment she wasn't sure she wanted to be found. When she arrived to the door of the parish she stepped inside and felt relief that she actually could. Proof that Solcapprodee was really gone. With a very short prayer, "Please forgive me," she turned and walked away.
The park bench was very warm in the sun, and Susan felt totally empty as she sat upon it. She had no idea what her next move would be. Why did things have to be so complicated? With her eyes closed she thought of all that had happened lately. How she had fallen in love with Sol. No, fell infatuated with Sol. This demon thing of how she can't stand human touch. Why didn't it leave when Solcapprodee did? How was it she was able to even meet Angel? He was the only one probably in the entire world who could help her, and was the only one who could even touch her. Why was it that she loved him so much, and he returned that love, but couldn't make love without such severe circumstances? What was happening and what roll if any did God have in it? She had so many questions with no answers.
Susan jumped when she felt a light tapping on her wrist.
"Are you all right, dearie?" a tiny old woman asked in a very tiny voice.
Susan sat up and wiped the tears away from her cheeks, "Oh, I'm fine. Thank you."
"Man problems I see."
Susan looked at her wrist where the old woman had touched her. She realized there was no burn. Was that gone, or was this woman also not human? She looked nice enough, but instantly Susan's guard came up. "How did you know?"
"Honey, it is always man problems when a young woman sits alone on a bench with tears spilling."
"So you've seen it before?"
"Go back to your man. He needs you as much as you need him ... even more."
"Its impossible, we really can't be together."
"Give it time. It will heal all of the problems between you." The old woman held onto Susan's hand. She felt very cool and comforting. It made Susan wonder if she was a good or a bad being. The bad ones can be great con artists.
"You've been through a lot, my dear, and so has he. You belong together."
"No, I could be his death!"
"You could be his life." With that the old woman vanished into nothing. Susan opened her eyes. It had all been a dream, but it had seemed so real. Suddenly she realized that she was holding something in the hand that the old lady had held. When she opened it she found a very old pendant on a chain. The cross appeared to be made of very old square headed nails and the heart that surrounded the cross was obviously hand made. It must have been at least a hundred years old.
In her mind Susan screamed, "This doesn't help!" More mixed up messages. She held her own symbol of God, which meant pain to Angel. "What does it all mean?" she said out loud to no one.
The day at "Angel Investigations" was spent mainly in silence. The faxes were read and Angel sent Wesley and Cordelia out to get information from the senders before deciding what they would contend with first. Gunn came back from being with family and went with the others to catch up on the latest. It was obvious that Angel was in a very sober mood and not one to say much to. He told the others as they were leaving that he was going to do the town that night and wanted to rest for it. He took with him another glass of his refreshment as he went up the stairs.
"What was it? More contact with Buffy?" Gunn asked.
"Worse than that." Cordy started, "Just a plain old human woman stole his heart."
"Boy, a lot can happen in three weeks," Gunn responded.
"You haven't heard anything yet," Wesley said as they drove away in the convertible.
Angel went upstairs to Susan's room. There was no evidence she had even been there other than the neatly folded pajamas on the bed along with the toiletries Cordelia had bought. Susan came with virtually nothing and left the same way. Angel walked into the bathroom and remembered how he had helped her ... so vulnerable and so trusting. It made him think of a memory from far back in time, probably before he was even a vampire. It was hard to grasp what it was, but he did remember touching the bruises and cuts on a beautiful slender back, and the long blonde hair falling over her shoulders. "I'll kill the bastard!" he could remember saying - but then the memory was gone and the harder he tried to remember the further away it escaped him. Angel looked into the mirror and tried to see something where there was nothing. He went back into the bedroom and sat in the easy chair. He put his head back and closed his eyes. He could still smell her there and feel the way she felt in his arms. Gradually he fell asleep only to dream of Susan and himself always together, never letting go.
Susan stood from the bench and walked along a path, which wound its way through the park. She held on to the pendant inside her coat pocket still wondering what it meant. She knew of a soup kitchen not too far away and she was starting to feel very hungry. She estimated that it was getting close to suppertime; the sun was more than three quarters through its day's journey. Susan noticed a few poorer looking people near by and followed them thinking that they probably knew the way to the kitchen.
As she stepped in through the door she started to feel a little like she was at home. As she took a tray and moved down through the line suddenly a familiar face met her's from the other side of the counter.
"Pastor Mike!"
"Susy Q., I haven't seen you for a long time." He reached out his hand and as he took hers he put his other hand over the two. Susan tolerated the burn for about ten seconds, but had to pull away. She hid her now red and blistered hand under her plate.
"How are you Susy? I've heard from Mr. Francis and he sounded very worried."
"I'm fine, Pastor, I'm just taking some time for myself for awhile."
"Well, you know where you can find me, and the door is always open," he said as they were holding up the line.
"I know, thanks." Susan tried to endure the burn a little longer until she went through the line and sat down at the long community table. She pulled the jar of cream out of her pocket and started to apply it to the burn and quickly the discomfort was relieved. She was very disappointed to see that it was almost empty.
Susan ate quickly and in silence. Others around her tried to make conversation but she didn't even answer. She knew from experience that in a place like this it was very common.
Pastor Mike watched her from across the room and what he saw worried him.
Susan left the building as quickly as she could. Not far away down an alley was the glow from a burning barrel and the silhouette of people warming their hands. The evenings lately were coolish and damp and those who had so little enjoyed the secure feeling the warmth from the fire gave.
In silence Susan joined the others. They made room for her, also in silence. In a way this felt like old times, but the spirit wasn't with her, and she was not here this time by choice. An old man came over and offered each person a drink out of a bottle in a paper bag. Susan gratefully accepted and took one swallow of the unknown alcohol that warmed its way down to her stomach.
She found an empty spot on an old crate nearby, curled her legs up under herself and leaned against the brick wall. The old herringbone coat was very welcomed on the cool night and she knew well why she kept it with her. It was going to be a very long and probably sleepless night. How she missed the soft bed and Angel's arm around her that she had grown so accustomed to.
Angel spent the night walking the streets of the poorer part of town. He was supposed to be on demon patrol but deep down it was Susan he hoped to find. He went to the Salvation Army and asked there but with no luck. Earlier he had telephoned Chu Whan and a few other places like the halfway house and the hospice but no one had seen her.
Mr. Francis at the Sally Ann was upset to see Angel alone and looking for Susy. "You need to find her. You are right for each other, I can feel it in my bones." How Angel regretted letting her leave, but he couldn't keep her there against her will. He walked the streets and went into any place that was open during the night. As morning came Angel went home, alone.
Susan had spent a fairly quiet night in the alley except for the few sirens that were heard through the night, and the drunk who tripped over some of the others. In the morning she was able to count the people who had shared the alley with her. Nineteen others, ranging from young to very old were starting to move from their spots. This didn't surprise Susan, she had seen it all before, but this time she was one of them.
She started walking the streets. She had to find work of some kind, as she really didn't want to keep running into people she knew. In the window of a run down diner was a sign that read "Dishwasher Wanted". That she could handle. Susan went into the building and the sign was removed from the window a few minutes later.
For five days Susan worked at the restaurant where she was able to eat and had a cot to sleep on in the storage room. She knew it was a rip off when her boss gave her twenty dollars on the Friday and said that the rest was room and board, but it was a place to stay and a bit of spending money. The cot was not too bad to rest on, but Susan found she really didn't sleep much because all she did was think of Angel. If she did fall asleep she dreamt of him and the longer they were apart the more passionate the dreams were. It seemed like there wasn't a time he wasn't on her mind.
With the twenty dollars Susan went to a nearby second hand store and bought some jeans and a couple of tank tops and other necessities. The kitchen where she worked was very hot and her sweater was very uncomfortable. She looked forward to something a little cooler. She found a second hand Walkman complete with a tape of love songs and couldn't resist. In her lonely state she needed some good love songs to listen to when she did the dishes, or couldn't sleep at night.
After the evening meal that day Susan was finishing up the last of the pots and pans. Stan, her boss, was getting ready to close up for the night when he came into the kitchen to say goodnight. He was just the kind of guy you would expect to find in a "greasy spoon", somewhat overweight with a beer belly and a beard that was removed once a week whether it needed it or not.
Tonight he hesitated when he heard the romantic music and saw the more revealing top Susan was wearing. She was wiping the counters and as she bent over Stan noticed cleavage and took it as an invitation. "You missing someone special?"
Susan just shrugged her shoulders and kept working. She grabbed the mop to do the floors. Stan came up behind her and seized her by both arms, planting a kiss on the nape of her neck. Susan jumped not only from being startled but also from the burns he was inflicting on her. He was getting excited and didn't even notice the red marks growing. He turned her around and kissed her hard to which she bit him on the bottom lip. "Bitch!" he shouted, "You'll pay for this!" but stopped when he saw the blisters forming on her mouth, neck and arms. "My God, what is happening to you? Get out of here you freak!"
Susan grabbed the cassette player, ran into the storage room grabbing the few things she owned and ran out into the night.
It was the first time since she left Angel that she felt really scared. How the burns hurt, Stan had held her so hard. She stopped in an apartment doorway and took the cream out of her coat pocket. There was so little left that it barely covered the burn on one side of her mouth. She leaned against the wall, wondering what she could do next. Her first thought was to telephone Angel, but she knew she would be using him as her rescuer again. She wanted so much just to hear his voice. She tried to think of a good solution to her problem but all she could think of was Angel. All she wanted was to feel his strong arms around her.
"You alright, sweet thing?" Susan opened her eyes to the ugly sight of a vampire, "Thought I smelled someone cowering in the corner." He grabbed her and was about to sink his teeth in her neck when suddenly he screamed in pain, grabbed the back of his head and ran off down the street.
Susan was shocked to see Pastor Mike standing there with a large crucifix in his hand. It was still steaming from where it had made contact with the monster's head and had been held there until he fled in pain.
"Pastor Mike, thank God!"
"Susan, I'm so glad that I got here in time." He went to touch her cheek but she pulled away.
"Human touch burns me. Oh, Pastor Mike, everything is so confusing."
"You need help. Do you know where we can go?"
"To Chinatown and a man named Chu Whan."
"Oh yes, the wise one. He has helped many. My car is right here. I'll take you there."
Pastor Mike sat quietly as Susan told the entire story, from the start. He sat in silence as he listened whole-heartedly. The amazing thing was that he didn't seem the least bit surprised. As they arrived at Chu Whan's shop the pastor said that this was as far as he could go. "God bless you Susan. It will be over before too much longer."
Susan puzzled at what he had said. "It would be over soon." What was going on? It seemed that he knew what was ahead. She knew his touch was human, but she was starting to feel like she was in an old horror movie. One where all the people you thought you knew were turning into their evil elses. Susan's problem was that she wasn't sure who was evil and who was not.