Chapter Twenty
It was May when the black carriage was seen coming down the road. Alexander rushed over to it to steady the horses as Mr. Hamilton stepped down and walked into the house without warning. He looked like evil itself ready to strike. Alex waiting watched as a woman's foot slowly made its way to the step. As he offered her his hand his eyes met the sky blue ones of his lamb and his heart skipped a beat.
"Angel," she said as she stepped down and held his hand a moment longer than required. She was dressed in wealth with furs and a hat made of feathers from a pheasant. She looked into his eyes and softly said, "I think I'd like to see my garden." He knew what this meant as one of the paths to the creek started in her garden.
He started to take the horses to the stable, but on the way heard a great commotion from inside.
"She's barren you bastard, for nine years, nothing! And now I'm getting too old. You'll pay for this." Alex should have stayed to help the master of the house but he cared little as to what happened to either of them and continued to lead the team to the stables. He handed the horses over to James, the stable boy, to be rubbed down, then ran as fast as he could down to the creek.
She was there waiting for him as he had imagined a thousand times before. Lizzie turned when she heard him come. All she could do was bury her face into his neck and hold him close. "I was so scared you would be gone when we arrived, or married ... you're not married are you, Angel?"
"No, I knew you would be back, someday."
"I missed you so much."
Alex looked at her expensive clothing, "But you have gotten used to wealth."
"I'd trade it all for a day with you. Besides I hate these things. Poor animals that gave their lives to make me look good on an old man's arm." She took the coat and hat and threw them on the ground.
Alex was shocked to see her beautiful hair had been cut with what must have been sheep shears, even pulled out in places. She put her hand to her head, "He used to get mad because I couldn't conceive, now he gets mad when he can't perform."
"He has hurt you a lot," he said as more of a statement than a question.
"When ever he would force himself on me, or beat me I would close my eyes and I would be here listening to the creek with your head on my lap. You were with me every moment of every day, Angel."
He held her in his arms, "Why do you call me Angel always now?"
"I had to make myself think of you only as 'Angel" so if I spoke to you in my sleep or when I was with you in my heart he would not know it was you that I spoke of. He would kill you in an instant if he thought you were a threat."
"He is evil then?"
"He can do more evil in one second than my father could do in a year." Her eyes were as cold as ice. "He enjoys causing pain. He liked to watch me when he used my doves to train the flacons or my lambs to train the dogs to kill on command. If it wasn't for his joy in such things he probably would have killed me a long time ago for not giving him a son." The hate he saw in her eyes was nothing like he had ever seen before.
"Do you still love me?" he had to ask, he wasn't sure how such hard eyes could love, but suddenly they softened and came back to him.
"You are the only reason I live," she paused. "But can you still love me, when another man has been where you have not?"
"He is not a man, he is a demon and I will kill him."
"Don't even suggest it! His power is beyond any idea you could have. I have seen men sent to hell because of less. I best get back before he looses his fury with my father and realizes I am not there." With a gentle kiss to his cheek she put back on the hat and coat and walked away, turning for a second just to know it was indeed real again.
Alexander followed her back but stayed in the trees out of sight. Mr. Quinn was writhing in pain on the ground and as she stepped over him on her way to the house she said a simple, "Hello father." Alex almost couldn't believe this was his lamb who couldn't stand to see any creature suffer. She must have suffered herself, beyond repair.
Her father survived the ordeal; in fact the two men were drinking themselves into a stupor when Elizabeth went to her old room. How she hoped that "he" would not be joining her. Before climbing into the bed she put the lantern in the window. For nine years she had continued the tradition as it gave her a touch of peace. Alexander was still watching from the trees when he saw it there. He knew he should go back to the stable, but he could not take himself away from this hint of hope.
Elizabeth lay on her bed, unable to sleep thinking of her dear Angel so close. She quietly went down the hallway. Hearing a familiar snore she looked into one of the guest rooms and saw her owner there. She never did consider him her husband. A husband loved his wife; Charles only owned and controlled her. Through experience she knew he would be out until near noon and hell to be with after that. After living with him for a little less than a year she learned not to fear him, he could do what he wanted with her and she could take herself away to Alexander's arms. With this lack of fear came more anger and more unobserved pain. She had learned to feel nothing, just to be ... to exist. More than once he had laughed to hear her call out to the angels or so he thought. But she felt pain this night - the pain of being so close to the one she loved and not able to show it.
She went back to her room and found in the wardrobe a skirt and blouse from many years ago. Opening her trunk she removed the wig made from her own hair and after brushing it, put it on. In the mirror she looked almost the same as she had nine years ago, just a little more refined. Before leaving the room she turned down the lantern to extinguish the flame, then went down the back stairs through the servant's quarters and quietly out the kitchen door. She walked through her garden and followed the path to their place by the creek. She didn't expect him to be there, but she wanted to hear the sound of the water running over the rocks and the breeze whispering to the trees and to remember.
She hesitated when she stepped out from the trees to the clearing. There he was lying on their quilt just as she had seen him in her dreams. He looked the same as he had years ago, even his hair still hung down just over his shoulders; it was as if time had stood still.
He must have sensed her presence there and opened his eyes. "I must be dreaming," he said out loud as he sat up.
"Let he share your dream with you." She knelt down in front of him and shared the forbidden kiss that had been denied them for far too long. When their lips parted she whispered, "Let's go to the stable, I want you to make love to me."
"Are you sure?"
"If I never see you again I want to be able to feel the truth in my dreams. I want to know what making love is. I've longed for you forever and I refuse to wait anymore."
"Are you not afraid of him?"
"He can do nothing more to me than he has already done. If he kills me because you have made love to me, then know that I have died knowing what love is."
He threw the quilt over his shoulder and they walked arm in arm to the stable. The light from the near full moon showed their path. They found their way up to the loft and Alexander opened the large doors so they could enjoy each other in the moonlight.
The quilt was spread out over the hay and together they lay upon it in each other's arms. The love they made was slow and gentle, totally consuming each other in body, mind and soul. She kept her eyes open so she could watch him every second and remember what making love was, lest this would be the only time she would know the trueness of it. This was not the brutal animal sex she had known meant only for the purpose of breeding or Charles' satisfaction.
As they lay in each other's arms he gently ran his fingers over her body stopping often at the raised line of a scar. "Your hair?" he asked, suddenly remembering, "How?"
"A wig", she smiled " after he cut it off he realized that he could not display his prize on his arm looking like a poorly shorn sheep. He had my own sent out to be made into a wig. He thought he could hurt me by cutting it off when it was so long, but I knew it would hurt him more." A look of satisfaction shone in her eyes.
She looked out the doors at the moon, "It is almost full ... that is good."
"Why is that, Lamb?"
She kissed him gently. "We have little worry, my cycle will start with the full moon."
"I heard him say you are barren."
"He is not near as smart as he thinks he is. I have an apothecary friend who knows of his evil and how much greater an evil his son would be. Three times my friend has helped me dispose of his child. That is a hell in itself but I refuse to give him the power. The fourth time the bulb extract did not work and I carried her for almost seven months. Charles was away to Romania, no doubt doing something cruel. I tried very hard to keep her hidden but she wanted to be born much too early." For the first time Alexander saw true sorrow as the tears filled her eyes. "She was too small, and too weak to even cry or suckle. For four days I held her, then buried her under my primroses." The tears spilled in silence as she buried her face in his shoulder.
"I'm taking you away from him!"
"You don't know his power. He would hunt us down and lay his curse upon us, a curse of eternal dieing."
A hint of light was starting to show in the east. "It is time for me to go back." She stood to dress, being careful to remove any bit of hay or chaff. "I'll try to see you again before we leave." Elizabeth kissed him very deeply and left in silence.
Alex knew he could not let this go on; he wanted his lamb back in his arms.
She walked into the house just as the cock started to crow and made her way up the back stairs as the servants were rising. The snoring continued and she quietly went back to her old room. Removing her clothes, she hung them back in the closet. Pouring water from the large pitcher into the washbasin, she washed away any sign of their union. She put back on her nightclothes and climbed into her bed, smiling. It had been a long time since she really smiled. This memory could last her forever.
Elizabeth sat at her usual spot at the supper table, to the left of Charles. Her father sat across from her. She sat very quietly while the men talked of their latest conquests. She was dressed in money's finest as a display of her husband wealth and power. The men had come to an agreement to a way of compensating Charles for the inadequacy of Elizabeth. Her father had already displayed his disapproval of her performance by grabbing her by the back of her neck and squeezing with a very strong hand.
"Careful William," Charles had said, "No visible marks, she's still good for show."
She knew that what ever their agreement was it would be of great cost to her father. What it was, she had no idea. As they finished their after supper wine, Elizabeth was allowed tea, the servant announced the arrival of Mr. Lockwood. She gasped when she saw Alexander enter the room, but quickly covered with a coughing spasm.
"Shut up wench," Charles responded.
The lovers felt a pang of worry that possibly someone had seen them during the night. The fear was soon set aside when the men rose and started to speak.
"Mr. Lockwood," Charles started, "I understand you are the gentleman who broke that fine mare Mr. Quinn presented to me nine years ago."
"Yes, Sir."
"You did a good job and I understand you have broken many strong horses since."
"Some sir."
"Mr. Quinn owes me a favour and I have asked him to allow you to come reside at my estate in Northumberland, a good days ride from here. Of course you will be paid well. I can certainly use a man of your talents."
Elizabeth sat back, trying to look bored with the conversation, but inside her heart beat like a canary's wings.
"I would be honoured, Sir."
"Good. We will be leaving at sunrise. Can you be ready?"
"Yes, sir."
Turning to her father, Charles continued, "Thank you, William. This serves as ample payment. A fine horseman is of much more use than an empty whore."
Alexander had to hold his temper; he hated the way that they spoke of Lizzie. With a quick glance at her he noticed her look of complete indifference, but her eyes shone with joy. He could always read her eyes.
"Come have a drink with us, Alex," Mr. Quinn offered.
Charles walked up behind Elizabeth and ran a hand over her breasts saying, "You best go to bed. It has been a good day and I think tonight you can show me why I keep you."
She stood up and said "Goodnight," to her father and Alexander, but was careful that their eyes did not meet. He could see that the shine was gone.
Alexander waited outside for the lantern to be set in the window. How easily he could go into that room and put a knife through Charles' heart. But he knew Lizzie was right, their banded group had great power throughout most of Europe and killing their leader would be a grave mistake.
When the moon was high the light shone from the window and he could see his love's shadow setting it in its place. He was finally able to go and prepare for the morning.
Inside her room when Elizabeth set the lantern in the window Charles laughed at her. "Are you still trying to call the angels to your aid? By now you must know that they are not coming." She said nothing but with great satisfaction she knew her angel was there, watching for her and loving her.