Chapter Thirty-Two
Angel walked to nowhere in particular. He followed the sound of running water and stopped when he came to a small creek. He sat down beside it and saw the reflection of the moon glistening in the water. He thought for a moment it was her light, but no, it was just the moon. He lay down on the grass and in his mind he could hear her saying, "I'll never leave you." She must have known she was dying; yet she said she would never leave him. He put his hand to the cross he wore and felt a warmth from it. He opened his eyes to see the sky covered with dancing lights that shone pinks, blues, green and whites. He remembered Susan telling him about the Northern Lights. That was one thing she had missed when she left Canada. Here they were seemingly dancing for him. Angel came to the conclusion that the angels must be welcoming his light back home, and they were all dancing their joy.
Before the sun started to rise Angel went back to the motor home. Everyone sat outside waiting for him to return. As he went inside all he said to the others was, "Let's go home."
Wesley thanked Spike, Giles and Willow for coming and said they best get the babies back to L.A., and they parted company.
It would be a long trip home … a long quiet trip. Gunn took the first shift driving, and then Wesley spelled him off. Angel spent almost a day and a half alone in the bedroom, music playing constantly. Everyone felt the heaviness in the air and only the babies brought smiles to their faces.
As the sky started to darken on the second day, Angel came out to take his place at the wheel. Cordelia was feeding Angeline while Lorne was trying to get a burp out of Alex.
"I'm not having much luck here," Lorne said, "Are you sure the book says they have to burp after every feeding?"
"More sometimes," Gunn offered taking the baby. "I helped take care of my sister's kids for awhile. Believe me you don't want them to have a tummy ache. Big noise out of a tiny person."
Suddenly a loud burp came up and everyone, except Angel, gave a small laugh. He got himself a glass of blood from the refrigerator and sat with the others, waiting for the sun to completely set. Since Susy died he hadn't even looked at the babies.
Cordelia stood up and handed Angel his daughter," Here you take her for a while. I have to go to the bathroom."
Angel hesitated but took Angeline. "She's so tiny," he said as he looked down at her in his hands. He was amazed at how alert she was. There were those dark blue eyes looking back at him, darker than Susan's, but they were blue.
Lorne put a towel on Angel's shoulder. "She probably needs a burp, hope you have better luck than I did." Angel followed Gunn's example and put her up to his shoulder and started gently patting her back. He closed his eyes when he felt the fluffy soft hair against his cheek and could smell the newness of her. He knew what Susan had meant and how it grieved her so to loose those babies. Suddenly he realized that as hard as it was to be without her, he had to stay for these babies. To love them as she would have and to tell them everything he could about her.
When Cordelia came out of the bathroom, Angel handed the baby back to her. "I'm going to drive for awhile, so we get home." He ran his hand over Alex's hair and again felt the softness of it.
Gunn smiled as Angel walked to the front, "Good move, Cordy. He's starting to come around."
"What would you guys do without me?" she grinned.
Another twenty-eight hours brought them back to L.A. while Angel was driving again. Everyone else was asleep in the back and after he parked he went into the hotel. As he got to the door he could hear music playing … their music … their love songs. He thought Susy was back home with him until he saw the two suitcases by the desk. Angel followed the sound of the music into the kitchen and found Henry and Martha there.
Henry extended his hand to him, "I am so sorry for your loss, Angel."
Martha gave him a hug, "We thought maybe you might need some help with the wee ones."
Angel thanked them but excused himself to visit Susan's garden. He found the heart she had left around the statue's neck and took Susy's gold heart and cross and hung it around the neck of the lamb. He stood back to look at the statue, hearing her words again, "I'll never leave you."
He looked down at the plants that Susy had so lovingly cared for. It took a moment but suddenly he realized he was standing in a garden full of the white primroses with the cream centres.