Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or the characters
Hey everyone. I know it's crazy that I'm posting another story, but this one kind of made an impact on my mind. There is something I want everyone to know before getting into this story that won't be revealed in this chapter, but I just wanted to clarify in case people do a double take. This is a Vegeta X Bulma story and Tarble will be in the story as Bulma's half-brother, but he will have no relation to Vegeta whatsoever. It's not a gigantic thing related to the story, but I figured some people would have been stunned to see that in a Bulma X Vegeta story. Anyway, let me know what you think.
Footsteps tapped in the hall as a tall, blue-haired woman paced around. She had waited for hours to get information. There was only so long she could look at the screen and sit there patiently listening to music as she waited for a nurse to come to get her. The hospital was fairly quiet as any would be at nearly eight in the morning. Her mother had been in surgery for a while, and Bulma barely slept a wink the night before. She could really use some coffee.
Finally, the nurse came to get her. The woman let her know that the procedure was over and her mother was awake. During their walk to the back, Bulma listened as the nurse prattled on about how much pain her mother was in trying to get Bulma to sign off on pumping the woman with drugs—something her mother really didn't want or need. Her tolerance for pain was one of the many things Bulma inherited and admired, plus the doctor already gave her a pain block. Besides, when Bulma herself had surgery on her arm, the nurse staff at the hospital gave her painkillers when she didn't need them and told her mother that they were busy with other patients, subtly admitting they drugged her.
When Bulma was alone with her mother, she tested the waters and asked the woman how she felt. Obviously, she was tired and a bit emotional. That was to be expected considering her hormones were all over the place. Well, they were. Now, she wouldn't have to worry about that. After all, her mother just had a hysterectomy.
Why had her mother gone through with such an invasive process? Well, the answer wasn't too terribly complicated…sort of. The science was complicated. The simple answer was that the women in Bulma's mother's family had a condition where the body produced too much estrogen. When they were younger, nothing happened, but once they were around the age for menopause, things got worse. Her mother had been one step away from uterine cancer. Had the woman not realized something was wrong with her, she would have been in trouble.
The step before was, as the doctor termed it, endometrial hyperplasia, meaning the cells of the uterus continuously divided and were shed with only some cellular control. Had she waited any longer, it would have turned into full-fledged cancer like Bulma's grandmother once had. The options were to monitor and do nothing, but her mother would then have an eighty percent chance of developing uterine cancer. If she received the hysterectomy, she'd be safe and her body's estrogen problem would be gone. So, here they were.
It was a difficult decision for her mother to make. The woman always wanted more children, but she only had Bulma. Bulma took no offense. Her mother always did so much for her all her life, and she knew the woman wanted more children. She herself wanted many children and promised her mother she'd give her as many as possible. The only problem was time, now.
Bulma knew she had plenty of it. She was only twenty-four years old, but with this condition she knew she'd have to make the same choice as her mother. The risk was greatly reduced the earlier she'd get a hysterectomy. The doctor recommended she have all her children by the age of thirty-five and then go through with the procedure. That would have been easy for her to swallow if there was a man in her life.
Dating was hard for the girl. Her father, manager of Capsule Corporation, wasn't really the best role model for her. She hadn't even met the man until she turned eight. Her mother, Panchy Hamasaki, met him in college, and he promised her a wonderful life. Back then, he was young, and her mother was about to graduate. He told her he loved her, said he wanted to marry her, and then Panchy became pregnant. Sure, he stayed around for a short time during the pregnancy, but he told her he couldn't be a husband or father and then fled. Of course, he used thinly veiled threats to keep Panchy from ever looking for him or his family.
It wasn't until Panchy married that she ever considered looking for Trunks. Her husband was divorced once before and paid child support for his daughter, Tights. He believed Trunks Briefs, with all the money he had, should support his daughter and the woman he left behind. It was around the time Bulma grew a bit jealous of her stepsister's and stepfather's relationship. The young girl said to her mother that if Panchy could ever find her father, she'd be okay with it.
Unbeknownst to Bulma, her mother had already been looking, and she found Trunks soon after. Bulma was so excited to meet the man. She carefully planned and wrote questions to get to know him. After all, her mother had always said he was just immature at the time and not ready to be a father. Now, though, maybe he'd change his mind and she could get to know him.
He lied to her from day one.
Bulma knew he lied, for when she asked why he never contacted her he said he promised Panchy that he wouldn't. Rationally, it didn't make any sense. Her mother never told her that, and the woman wouldn't have tracked him down had she made him promise not to contact them. The story didn't add up leading to Bulma to question her mother. Panchy assured her that it wasn't true. Bulma knew her mother wouldn't lie to her especially when the woman saw how upset she was. The child chose to believe her caregiver…and confront her father.
At age eight, Bulma had the idealistic notion about a world where everyone had to be honest. When someone lied, you had to tell them they needed to tell the truth. Trunks Briefs did not like the child confronting him and it led to a major argument, an argument that Bulma could hardly remember yet left the feeling of distrust between her and her father for years to come. The fact that her stepfather ended up divorcing her mother in the end after cheating on her did not help Bulma's feelings of distrust in men.
Bulma grew up constantly challenging her father. It wasn't done on purpose. Bulma was just very opinionated and had a very strong sense of right. To be honest, her father attacked her so many times in such cruel ways that she had little to no respect for the man. Still, he was her father and the childish part inside her wanted to work things out with the man. There were times she couldn't deal with his harsh words and begged him to just let it all go and start over. Of course, she was an adult by then, away at college alone as her mother worked all over the country as a nurse through some temp agency.
Around that time, Bulma got into a physics program at her school and struggled to make up the tuition. She was attending an out-of-state school, and the tuition was triple. In a year, she'd be a resident and could get the reduced tuition. It didn't help her during the first semester where she was only $1,600 short. Bulma knew her father was wealthy, and she hoped he'd help her. No, she wouldn't ask him for money. She would only ask him to cosign a loan since she didn't have any credit. With his name on there, she was sure to get the loan and she'd be able to pay it back all on her own.
At first, her father sounded like he was considering it and even asked her to send him all the information. Later, he turned it all around at her saying she was a terrible person for asking him for anything. He told her she had a horrible work ethic and that asking people for money was disgraceful. The man even criticized her mother saying the woman taught Bulma poor spending choices. Everything he said was the furthest from the truth. Bulma knew that, yet she still took it to heart. She fell into a deep depression and had difficulties sleeping because she had nightmares that she'd be kicked out before she even began to work towards her degree.
"Bulma, are you really sure about this."
The girl smiled sadly and looked to her best friend, Goku Son. The spiky-haired man had been her friend since they were in grade school, her first crush and first love. The two went in different directions, yet they still managed to keep their friendship intact.
She went to him after getting her mother set up at her parents' home after the surgery. Goku and his mother, Gine, offered to take Bulma out to dinner, and Panchy told her she should go. Bulma hadn't slept for almost twenty-four hours and was exhausted by this point, but she was so on edge. Gine dropped the two friends off at the mall so they could have some time to talk alone. Bulma took that time to talk about the topic that weighed heavily on her mind. He was the only one she could trust.
Back during her depression in college, a student Bulma had carried through the course earned her trust. Her classmate was so easy to talk to, and so Bulma confided everything about her father to this girl. Weeks later, her father's birthday came up and she tried to call him before her classes. Of course, he ignored her call like he always did which left Bulma in a bad mood. Her entire lab group could tell, and Bulma explained some stuff going on. Then, the girl she trusted pointed out that she was like her father—a baseless accusation but damaging.
After that, Bulma's depression worsened. She noticed similarities between herself and her father. She started to hate herself more. Her father continuously blamed her for his unhappiness. She tried to prove she had a great work ethic by aiming for straight A's even if it killed her. She tried therapy and found out she developed a condition called perfectionism. Perfectionism wasn't what most people thought it was, but an emotional condition where a person attempted to be perfect to gain the approval of someone and the fear of making mistakes. She was drowning in a mess of mixed feelings.
Goku noticed Bulma withdrawing as well as her stress and talked with her every night. He knew her better than anyone. She was energetic and chatty. She could be made excited by talking about her projects and classes, yet nothing seemed to pull her from the depression until he figured out her underlying issues of self-loathing. Goku assured her that she was the furthest thing from her father and that any similarities she saw weren't a big deal. Some were even genetic, like the sound of her laugh.
Bulma fell harder for her friend during that time, and eventually convinced him to date her. He hadn't been in love with her at the time, and their relationship didn't last. They loved each other, but they realized they wanted different things out of life. Both were relieved they hadn't delved too deep into a relationship, for they were better friends than anything else, and they both needed each other to help them get through tough times. For instance, what she was about to tell him.
Bulma sighed and shook her head. "You know how I am, Goku. The doctor said I have until I'm thirty-five to have children. I have to keep all my options open."
"But this is a big deal, and a big decision to make. What makes you think this is right for you?"
A small smile found its way to Bulma's face. "Relax, Goku; I'm not making the decision today," she explained. "I just need to come to terms with the fact that it might happen this way. You know that when we dated I was a mess. I didn't even trust you and you were my best friend. You're the one who helped me realize that I had trust issues because of Trunks. I may not ever be able to overcome them.
"I'm giving myself time, until I'm thirty, before I make an official decision. But let's face it…I want kids. If I don't meet a guy I trust enough not to abandon or torment my children by then, I'm going to have children on my own. It's possible, after all. Mom already knows how I feel, but I highly doubt my grandmother will go for the idea of me going to a sperm bank."
Goku chuckled awkwardly; he remembered Bulma's grandmother so well. He was an honorary part of her family, after all. The woman was an old-fashioned, overly judgmental woman. It was hard to get along with her, especially when she gave her opinionated statements. "Well, as long as your mom's okay with it, it doesn't matter. You have to do whatever will make you happy, Bulma."
"Thanks," the woman replied. "But like I said, it's just if I don't meet someone. Mom's highly convinced that I will."
"I agree with her," Goku told her. "I just want you to know, though, that if it does play out that way, you'll have my support. I don't care how my nieces or nephews get here, as long as they get here."
For the first time that day, Bulma laughed out loud and had to steady herself as she held onto the table. "Goku, you're so cheesy sometimes. One of the things I love about you."
His infectious smile brought a grin to her face. "Love you too, B. All this talk with babies, though, reminds me that I have to find a way to tell my mom that I don't want kids."
"Oh Goku, she loves you, and it won't be as bad as you think," Bulma assured him as she took his hand. "Besides, a lot of people nowadays don't want kids. And who knows, you might meet a really wonderful woman who makes you change your mind on everything."
"I highly doubt it, B," Goku murmured softly.
"Just like I doubt I'll get over my fears and find a husband."
"Well, you got me there," the man laughed. "We're not so different, huh?"
"Not in the least, bestie, and we're both children when we want to be. It's what makes us great friends."
"Yeah," Goku replied. "I'm glad things are like this. I just hope things will always stay this simple."
Bulma shrugged. If she thought back on both hers and Goku's lives, they were anything but simple, yet the two of them managed to keep their heads on their shoulders. She couldn't promise him things would be simple. He couldn't promise her things would stay the same.
Months later, Bulma's world was turned upside-down again.
After changing gears on her career, Bulma had worked closely with someone in town on a research project. At first, she was just going to be a generic engineer, but she found that she liked creating new ideas to grow on the old. She didn't want to be a manager at a company, but she liked to invent. It was a long shot, but she knew she could do it. Then, she found out she was accepted into a graduate program to get her masters in electronic design. Her mom planned to come over days later to help her pack up her apartment and move to the city.
That Friday, Bulma realized she had to say 'goodbye' to all of the people she met in her five years of living there. The good news was she would have some time in her hometown and get to see Goku before she went off to school, but it was still hard for her to accept saying 'goodbye' to her teachers, advisors, friends, etc. Her heart was saddened at the idea of leaving behind people who had gotten her through her five years in that town.
Monday, though, her world changed when her father's mother called her. Bulma had a great relationship with her father's family. They, too, had to deal with her father's insanity and animosity. Through the years, the man ignored them all, angry that they wouldn't turn Bulma away. Trunks and his wife, Launch, stopped coming around to family events and even uninvited Bulma's grandparents from her half-brother, Tarble's, christening. Bulma and even Panchy had an excellent relationship with her grandmother, and the women talked often. "Hi Gramma, what's up?"
"Bulma…I just got a call from Launch. Your father was in a car crash. He didn't make it."
Upon hearing her grandmother's dazed words, Bulma's heart froze. "Wh…what?" For a minute, she thought her grandmother was joking because the words sounded empty and reported, but when the woman said them again there was more emotion to it. "I…I need to go. I have to call Mom."
Bulma couldn't even bring herself to dial her mother's number. She was in shock, her body tense. She couldn't form words. She could hardly breathe. This couldn't really be happening.
She finally got up her nerve and called her mother. Her mind couldn't focus on what she was saying when she recited the words that her grandmother said to her. Panchy reacted the same way she did, stunned into silence, and then Bulma broke down and needed to get off the phone. She was thankful she would see her mother the next day when she flew down to help her pack. Now, saying 'goodbye' didn't seem so hard.
Telling Goku was similar, although she told him succinctly, "Trunks died." Her friend hadn't heard her father's name in so long. The year before, the man called Bulma illegitimate and pushed her away further, and so neither Bulma nor Goku brought him up unless Bulma really needed to talk about her emotions. She hadn't spoken to the man since then, so hearing his name and the fact that he was gone came as a shock to her friend. Goku listened as Bulma talked aimlessly about everything she had felt in the past, and reluctantly listened to the woman saying how guilty she felt for not speaking with the man much the past year. In the next passing weeks, he knew Bulma would go through more than enough. He wouldn't point out that her feeling of guilt was baseless, or she'd probably shut down on him.
Panchy took the reins with getting Bulma's apartment packed and moved. She hired a moving company to help while Bulma went out to Chicago to be with her father's family. It was so hard to be there and listen to all the positive stories about her father—the people he helped, the money he gave freely, the children he treated like his own when he treated her like nothing. The only positives being there was that she got to be with her family, be there for her eleven-year-old brother, and see her father one last time. She didn't know how her life would change, but she had yet to find out that her father would give her one great gift.
Months passed and Bulma worked hard on her master's degree. She spoke to her brother more, quiet as he was, but to her joy he liked the same things she did: engineering, video games, and even card games. Surprisingly, they both got their love of cards games from playing with their father. Sometimes, Bulma would have the occasional good memory pop up.
Bulma learned in those months to accept things about herself she once kept buried. During the wake and funeral, Bulma's shock damned her. At times, she thought the good man everyone talked about, the honorable man they deemed him to be, existed and that her memories of him weren't that bad. She told a friend about all the drama since elementary school and remembered that, in addition to her self-loathing and perfectionism problems, she had hit rock bottom and been suicidal as well. No, she had never acted upon the random thoughts that accosted her between high school and college, but she was starting to remember exactly how she felt then. It made her feel sick.
Some good things came out of it which also made Bulma feel guilty. She felt relief that she would never have to deal with her father's horrible words and the additional pain. He would never again attack her and make her feel less of herself. Part of her believed her father loved her, and now she knew because she dreamt it and felt the presence of love all around her. After that, she started to focus on letting go of her negative thoughts towards herself. She worked on her perfectionism, though she still had severe test taking anxiety and insomnia. Still, she was taking baby steps to leaving the emotional pain in the past and moving forward with her life. She hoped that with time, she would completely accept herself and be free of self-loathing. If her mother and Goku had anything to say about it, she would.
Surprisingly, her father left her some money to be able to take care of herself. It was surprising that he kept the court mandated life insurance policy after he was no longer responsible for her, but she was thankful he did. Because of that, she was able to rent an apartment while away for her master's. She paid off the remainder of her mother's surgery bills so that she wouldn't be in debt. She even got an SUV that was marked the highest in safety (she was taking no chances when it came to cars ever again). It helped with her stress to not have to worry about finances. She was used to financial anxiety considering her mother always worked three to four jobs, only occasionally finding one job that kept them afloat. Bulma hated having and using the money, but she made the most of her circumstance. The only way she'd accept the money, though, was if she put whatever she didn't need away for the future of the children she did not yet have. Everything else, she'd get by like she always did using the skills she learned from her mother. When she graduated, she managed to get a job designing software and robotics and was able to sustain herself.
Five years later, she would be in a stable position to have a child. That was a promise she made to herself, and she was holding herself to it, man or no man.