Book Two/Chapter Thirty-Five: Good News

My excuse for leaving town that weekend was to visit a college friend of mine. I'd be sure to do that while I was home, although it wasn't the real reason for my visit. I'd set up an appointment with my family physician and I didn't want Ben to know. Not yet. If I actually wasn't pregnant, there was no point in telling him. He had enough concerns on his mind and I didn't need to add any more.

Quinn was considering retiring before the next year and Ben had a decision to make. He could remain a patrol officer, something he enjoyed, or he could run for Sheriff. He had Quinn's endorsement as well as my support. He would do well in the position, although it would take him off the streets. Ben wouldn't admit it, but he loved the people of Protection and felt responsible for every single one of them. He constantly worried about their safety and well-being and I admired him for his empathic nature.

I tended to focus on the younger generations – the ones I got to spend my days with. They needed more guidance than most people realized and were experiencing their own difficulties. I didn't envy their youth. I remembered suffering throughout middle school myself. I was a little shy and easily embarrassed as a child; often bullied and teased for having glasses, braces, and mild acne. Getting through those pre-teen years hadn't been an easy task for me, which is probably why I chose this particular age to work with. I understood what they were thinking and how traumatizing school could sometimes be.

Ben, on the other hand, had been athletic, friendly, and had enjoyed his teen years. Even though he didn't hang out with the popular crowd, he'd told me that he had easily made friends. Everyone seemed to like him. And now, thanks to the support group he met with every Thursday night, many of those friendships had continued.

It was surprising to me how many people who were raised here decided to stay. Like Ben, they had fallen in love with this town and had no intention of leaving it. This could pose a problem in the future if Ben and I were to get married and I couldn't find employment close by. I was counting on the fact I would, and in my dreams, we would raise our family in his cabin in the mountains.

I loved staying there with him. It was peaceful and quiet, other than those times late in the night when Ben would cry out. He would awaken, his chest wet with sweat, his eyes frantically darting about. Sometimes he would share the nightmares with me, other times he wouldn't. He'd told me some were too horrific to speak about. Even though I urged him to tell me, claiming that's exactly the reason why he should, Ben refused and kept a lot of his bad memories bottled up inside. I wasn't sure he even shared them with the group. I should probably find out – for his own sake.

I was deep in thought about these things while in the waiting room at the doctor's office and hadn't heard my name being called at first. The nurse teased me about being lost in my daydreams when I finally joined her in the back.

After giving me a thorough examination, I was sent downstairs to the lab where my blood was drawn, my urine collected, and I was told to wait.

I didn't like waiting. It was a waste of time and allowed my mind to wander and worries to build. If I were indeed pregnant, it would throw off all my plans. A baby right now wouldn't be unwanted or unloved, just unexpected and badly timed. Plus, it would force Ben to make decisions I sincerely doubted he was ready to make.

We had talked a few times about our hopes for the future. His always sounded more like a description of what he thought would be a perfect life, not his actual expectations. I wasn't sure how to get him to be more concrete and settle our future once and for all.

I knew about his past: About Sara, his first wife, who had abandoned him while he was overseas fighting in a war. I understood how devastated he must've felt. Surely, he had to know I wasn't the same! I would never do anything like that to him! And yet, he hesitated as if he was unsure of either my loyalties or his frailties. I wasn't certain which one it was and if I ever brought it up, Ben would say something sarcastic as a joke and quickly change the subject.

News of pregnancy would certainly force him to be more serious, to finally make up his mind about what he wanted to do about us. He claimed he wasn't in a hurry. Was that for his own sake or mine? I had initially believed it was for his and so I had always gone along with him. I hadn't made any demands or given any ultimatums. I was biding my time.

When my name was called again, I heard it and my heart began pumping a little bit faster. It seemed to take forever before Dr. Bantley came in. She was always difficult to read; always smiling, always kind. So, when she finally walked in with a broad grin, I wasn't sure what that meant.

"Ami," it's been a while since I've seen you. Let's see," she hummed softly while scanning my records with her green eyes. "You canceled your last appointment."

"Yes, something came up," I told her, remembering my hunt for Ben when he'd been kidnapped.

"But your blood values all look unremarkable," she continued, "weight steady, blood pressure good. The only thing I see actually is an elevated hCG, but I imagine that's why you're here."

Blast lady! Just come out with it? "And?" I encouraged her while leaning forward a little. "Which means…?"

"You're pregnant. About two months along, I'd guess. We can go ahead and do an ultrasound if you'd like."

My heart nervously leaped in my chest but the expression on my face was joyful. Whether it was unexpected or not, I was ecstatic about being pregnant! I loved children and had always wanted some of my own. I only hoped Ben would be just as excited.

"Of course," I told her.

"Congratulations," she mentioned before rolling the unit across the tile floor. "Who's the lucky father?"

"Someone I met during my internship," I told her, lying back on the table. The physician's assistant applied something wet and cold to my abdomen and before I knew it, Dr. Bantley was pressing the applicator against my stomach and moving it around, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Oh. Another teacher?" she guessed as she continued.

"Actually, he's a police officer."

"That's wonderful," she told me before another smile appeared.

Just then I began to hear a faint whooshing sound that became louder and more rhythmic as the doctor located its source and I turned my head to look for myself.

"Is that the baby?" I asked naively. I could scarcely believe what was happening!

"It is, and everything looks perfect!" she told me. "Do you see that consistent flutter? That's the baby's heart. Nice and strong. By my calculations, I would estimate your due date will land sometime in early May."

Perfect! That would give me enough time to graduate and hopefully find a job, even though it would be mid-year. It was possible. Teachers retired or quit around December. It wasn't that uncommon. I could get a job in January, finish the year and get to stay home with the baby during the summer!

My mind was spinning with happy thoughts until Dr. Bantley asked me if the father was aware.

"Not yet," I told her, tension quickly building in my shoulders.

"Hm," she said while passing off the applicator to her assistant before cleaning away the gel on my belly. "My advice is to be straightforward. It took both of you to create this life, so regardless of where you are in your relationship, you are both equally responsible for it."

"Yes, ma'am," I told her, nodding my head and rising to a sitting position. "I couldn't agree more."

And yet I had no idea how to tell Ben he was going to be a father!