Disclaimer : I do not own InuYasha. I wish I did *drool* : ) InuYasha and all character (except the bandits) belong to Rumiko Takahashi, who is a living goddess for creating such wonderful characters and letting us use them for our own twisted ideas
Authors' Notes :
1- well, here I am posting way early because people have asked me to. So exciting to get so many good reviews : )
2- InuYasha is OOC, yes yes, I know. It's a fan fic, remember? Besides, I figured it was about time he grew up and got his head out of . . . well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
3- As usual, read review, tell me what you think : ) and enjoy of course
Chapter 4- Banishing Shadows Part 2
Kagome awoke slowly, a feeling of peace enveloping her. 'When was the last time I woke feeling so . . . safe? I don't even feel like this in my own bed,' she mused silently, trying fuzzily to figure out what was so different about this time. She remembered falling asleep next to InuYasha . . . but that surely didn't warrant this feeling of being cherished. Slowly opening her eyes, she found herself nestled against a strong, smooth expanse of chest. 'Something isn't right here . . . he was on his stomach when I fell asleep!' Suddenly worried, she attempted to sit up to check on his back, only to feel his arms tighten around her. 'He's . . . he's HOLDING me!'
InuYasha heard the minute her heartbeat sped up, signaling she was awake. He felt her sudden start as she tried to sit up, and held her tighter, unwilling to give up the pleasure of her resting against him. She settled back against him, and he could sense her confusion and surprise.
'Well, you have to admit this is a first for you. She's probably wondering when you took to hugging people and cuddling with them,' that little voice inside his head piped up.
'When I decided to let my walls down and realize what was right in front of my eyes,' he thought back. 'Now go away.' He felt her sigh and relax against him suddenly, and smiled gently to himself.
'I might as well enjoy this while it lasts . . .' Kagome thought to herself. 'Once he wakes up and realizes what he's doing . . . who he's holding . . .' She sighed again, and snuggled closer to him. 'He's probably dreaming of Kikyo.' She stared at the expanse of well muscled chest before her, tight muscles covered by satin skin that was crying for her to run her finger over it. 'Oh, what the hell . . . he's unconscious anyway . . . what he doesn't know won't hurt him.' Tentatively, she ran her fingers across his shoulder, trailing them slowly over his chest in gentle circles, feeling the smooth skin shift over strong muscle. 'Not even a scar . . . after all the wounds he's gotten protecting me . . . must be nice to heal that completely . . . Gods, why am I torturing myself like this! His heart and soul are Kikyo's. They have been since the beginning.' She couldn't stop her fingers from tingling where they brushed against his skin.
InuYasha suppressed the urge to groan as her fingertips slid over his chest, leaving tingling flesh in their wake. He couldn't begin to count the number of times he'd dreamed of her touching him like this, but he'd always been so unsure before of how he felt when he'd awoke that he's dismissed it. Seems his heart had been trying to tell him something for months now.
He opened his eyes slightly to look down at her, and was startled to see she was silently crying even as her fingers ran lightly over his stomach of their own accord. 'Oh no . . . why is she crying?!' Impulsively, he reached down and cupped her chin gently in his hand, turning her blue-grey eyes to his golden ones. He rubbed a tear away gently with his thumb, keeping his claws carefully away from her skin.
'Oh no . . .' Kagome thought, staring helplessly into his eyes. 'He's awake! He's going to be mad . . . wait, why does he look . . . concerned? What the . . .'
Not stopping to think, InuYasha bent his head and brushed her lips with his in kiss light as a butterflies wing. "Kagome . . ." he whispered, her name puffing gently across her lips with his breath.
"InuYasha . . ." she sighed, breathless and stunned at the action.
Before she could pull back, he claimed her lips again, adding slight pressure. He ran his tongue lightly across her lower lip, asking her permission, which she gave, her lips parting under his. He deepened the kiss, pouring all his new found feelings for her into it, hoping she would understand. He felt her hands creep up to wrap around his neck, urging him closer.
'Oh my god . . . he's kissing me . . . and he KNOWS it's ME!' Kagome thought dreamily. 'I've wanted him to do this for so long now . . .' Unconsciously, she pressed closer, wishing this moment could last forever.
He broke the kiss regretfully, leaning back to look at her flushed skin and parted lips. Her eyes blinked open and she looked at him wonderingly, her fingertips coming down from his neck to press against her lips. "Am I dreaming?" she whispered. "InuYasha . . ."
His finger to her lips stopped her words. "I'm sorry Kagome . . . I've put you through hell and you didn't deserve that."
Her eyes widened . . . then unexpectedly narrowed and filled with tears. She broke away from him angrily, and stood, trembling. InuYasha stared up at her, confused.
"How DARE you!?" she hissed. "How can you . . . in one minute you give me EVERYTHING I've ever DREAMED . . . and in the next you apologize for it!" Tears spilled angrily down her face as she stared at him, her hurt and betrayal evident.
"Wha . . . Kagome, that's not what . . . Damn it!" he swore as she spun on her heel and fled, not letting him explain. "Damn it wench, come back here!" he shouted, struggling to get to his feet and go after her.
He staggered to the door in time to see Kagome disappear into the woods towards the Goshinboku tree. 'Damn it . . . that came out completely wrong! And of course, she runs off before I can explain . . .' He started towards the forest himself, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"You shouldn't be on your feet, InuYasha," Miroku said firmly, withdrawing his hand as the hanyou turned to glare at him. "Sango's gone after her . . . she'll be fine."
"But . . ." Miroku was surprised to see the look of uncertainty that appeared on InuYasha's face, just before he slumped to his knees. "I need her . . . to understand . . ."
Miroku helped his wounded friend back to his feet and into the hut, where he checked the bandages and changed them again. InuYasha lay still, his head pillowed on his arms, desolate. 'That came out all wrong. I was trying to apologize for everything I've put her through . . . instead, it sounded like I was apologizing for kissing her." He blushed, remembering the feel of her lips under his. What was it she had said . . . "one minute you give me everything I've ever dreamed . . ."? Did that mean . . . that she felt the same way for him as he did for her?
"Relax InuYasha. Sango will talk to her, get her calmed down . . . at least she didn't sit you," Miroku said, looking down at the unmoving hanyou.
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Kagome collapsed at the foot of the Goshinboku tree, gasping for breath as tears poured down her face. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing in agony as her heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. "Why did he have to kiss me?! Things could have gone on fine as long as he hadn't kissed me!" She'd always pictured her first kiss with InuYasha, but nothing had prepared her for the thrill, the warmth she had felt from that second kiss. Even now, she could still fell it . . . and just when she'd begun to allow herself to hope, he'd apologized! Like it was all some big mistake!
She felt arms wrap around her, and raised tear blurred eyes to Sango's concerned face. "Oh Sango!" she cried, burying her face in her hands again.
"Kagome, what happened?" Sango asked, holding her gently. Kagome had become the sister and best friend she'd never had . . . she hated seeing her torn like this. "What did InuYasha do now?"
Haltingly, Kagome told her about waking up in InuYasha's arms, ending with his apology to her. "I should have know it was too good to be true, Sango. I've dreamed about it for so long . . . and watching him love a woman who isn't even alive anymore . . ." She sighed. "I thought I could handle it . . . as long as I could be near him, I could be happy . . . but this changes everything. Sharing that kiss with him, it brought everything back. All the feeling I've tried so hard to repress . . . just so he could be happy . . . I can't do it anymore, Sango. I just can't." She sat with her knees tucked under her chin, her arms wrapped around them. "You know . . . this is where we first met. I broke the spell Kikyo had on his body . . . I guess I'll never be able to break the one she has over his heart."
Sango sighed and sat back, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Kagome looked so lost . . . but she COULDN'T tell her about the conversation she'd overheard between Miroku and InuYasha. What had been said there was something InuYasha had to tell Kagome . . . hearing it second hand wouldn't do any good. "Good going, hanyou," she muttered to herself. "Open mouth, insert foot . . . again." She shook her head in annoyance. 'Now, how do I get Kagome to go talk to him?' she wondered.
"He tried to follow you out here, you know." Sango told her. Kagome looked up at her quickly. "Miroku stopped him, don't worry." Kagome sighed in relief. "Kagome . . . could he perhaps have meant that differently than how you took it? You know InuYasha tends to say things without thinking . . . he might have been apologizing for something else."
Kagome looked up at her friend hopefully, only to shake her head sadly after a moment. "I've let my hopes get too high too many times, Sango. Maybe it's time I faced the truth in all it's horrible glory. He'll never feel for me the way he does Kikyo."
"Kagome . . . just go talk to him before you make any decisions. You might be surprised." She hugged the girl tightly, then stood. Walking from the clearing, she turned to Kirara. "Keep an eye on her, my friend," she said softly. Kirara mewed gently and bounded over to settle in Kagome's lap, purring as the girl absently petted her. Turning back, she spied Miroku heading down the path in their direction.
She moved to intercept him. "She's fine," she said to him, forestalling any questions. "She just needs to think. Kirara is with her." Miroku nodded and turned to walk at her side back to the village, for once keeping his hands to himself.
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Kagome returned to the village just as the sun set, deep in thought. Kirara walked at her side, rubbing against an ankle on occasion as if to reassure Kagome she wasn't alone. She approached the hut InuYasha lay in warily, unsure of what she was doing, unaware of the concerned eyes of her friends watching her.
'Maybe I'm making a mistake,' she thought to herself. 'I'm just opening myself up to get hurt again. I should just leave now . . . go home where he can't hurt me anymore.' She paused at the door, turning away briefly before turning back. 'No. I have to know . . . if Sango was wrong or not.' Stiffening her back and steeling her nerves, she walked into the hut.
Three different sighs were expelled at once. "Well, she's taken the first step," Sango said, turning to Miroku and Shippo.
"Let's hope InuYasha is better at speaking his feelings this time," Miroku answered her.
Shippo nodded, his little heart pounding. 'I hope dog boy doesn't drive Kagome away again,' he thought to himself. Kagome had helped fill the void in his life that his parents' deaths had left. 'If he does, maybe she'll let me go with her.' He didn't think he could bear to be without her. He dreaded the completion of the jewel, fearing that once it was done, Kagome would be gone from his life. "Do it right this time dog breath," he whispered, staring at the hut.
Kagome walked into the hut silently. InuYasha lay beside the fire, on his stomach with his head resting on his crossed arms. Firelight played across his face, his golden eyes closed in sleep. As she neared him, she was startled to see tear tracks on his face. 'He's been . . . crying?' she thought, surprised. She sat beside him quietly, watching the light play across his silver white hair. She reached out gently to rub one pointed ear, caressing the soft fur delicately, trying not to wake him. He sighed in his sleep, moving his head to give her better access. She switched to his other ear, gently caressing the tip between her thumb and finger. He groaned, shifting slightly. Kagome froze as he shifted his head into her lap, his cheek resting gently on top of her thigh. 'He's never slept this soundly before . . . he must be exhausted.' She ran her hand lightly over his hair, gently combing out tangles with her fingers. She found it soothing to do so, and continued, reaching over to grab her back pack to lean against.
InuYasha sighed as he felt her hand running over his hair repeatedly, her familiar scent soothing. 'She came back,' he thought to himself. 'Thank you Sango.' He'd begun to worry that he'd seen her for the last time . . . that he'd made the final mistake that pushed her over the edge. 'Now let's hope I can do it RIGHT this time.'
He rolled over carefully, wincing slightly as his back hit the floor, his golden eyes meeting her blue-grey as she froze.
"InuYasha . . ." she murmured, snatching her hand back guiltily. "I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay . . ." he replied.
Kagome turned to stare into the fire. "Why . . . why did you kiss me, InuYasha? I was okay . . . almost happy . . . until you kissed me."
A stab of fear went through him. Had he misunderstood what she said earlier?
"I was prepared to let you go . . . to let you go to hell with Kikyo, if that was what you wanted . . ." she continued. "I buried all my hopes and dreams of you loving me so I could enjoy what time I had with you. But . . . everything is different now. I can't just sit by and let you sacrifice yourself for what you think you owe her, InuYasha. I just can't. It's either I leave now, or I fight for your life, against you if I have to."
"Kagome . . . there's no need for either choice," he said, sitting up carefully to look at her. "What I said earlier . . . I'm not sorry that I kissed you. Hell, I'd kiss you now if what I had to say wasn't so damn important." He grinned at Kagome's shocked expression, then sobered. "Kagome . . . last night scared me. A lot. And it made realize a lot of things I've been hiding from. I . . ."
The clanging of the town bell interrupted him. Miroku burst in, closely followed by Sango. "Demons . . . several . . . attacking the village!" Miroku gasped for air. There was a thump on the roof. The group dove to the floor as claws came through the walls, tearing the hut to shreds like paper.
"Damn it, do I EVER get a moment of PEACE!" InuYasha roared, springing to his feet. Grabbing Tetsusiaga from it's sheath, he sprang into action, adrenaline pushing aside the pain of his half healed back.
A transformed Kirara brought Sango her boomerang. Her and Miroku charged off to help InuYasha, forgetting for the time being that Kagome was left completely undefended.
Kagome stared into the battle, watching her friends defend the village. She shrieked as a hand clapped over her mouth and she was dragged off. "Someone wants to see you," a voice growled in her ear.
She found herself deposited unceremoniously in the clearing of the Bone Eater's Well. Kagome stood, dusting herself off as she looked around. "What in the world? Why did they bring me here?" A rustling in the bushes behind her spun her around to face . . .
"Kikyo!" Kagome gasped.
To be continued . . .
AN - MUAHAHAHAH! Yes, at last, Kikyo shows up. Now, I have very distinct views on Kikyo, so if you are a Kikyo lover . . . I forgive you. Oh wait, I mean . . . well, let's just say Kagome will finally get to get a WHOLE lot off her chest soon. And poor InuYasha . . . he really does never get a moment's peace. There's always something going on.
Yes, I know, long chapter this time. I got to a point where I thought would be a good break off point, and looked at the pages I had left, and said screw it, I'll post it all. Lots and lots of waffiness, right? Come on, you know you love the waff : ) Hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned. Kagome and Kikyo are gonna have it out . . . well, sort of. Don't forget to review : )