Disclaimer - I don't own InuYasha. If I did, I wouldn't be sitting here at the computer dreaming, I would be back in the bedroom . . . ahem, never mind that last thought. I don't own InuYasha, okay?
Author's Notes - This is the first part of Chapter 6. The next part is a LEMON! You know what that means people . . . if you're under age, don't read it. And if you do, I'm not responsible, ne?
Okay . . . and for the more difficult part . . .Kikyo : P A thanks must go to Sango-Chan for her fic Second Chances, which sort of made me sit back and think on Inu and Kikyo's relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am still and always will be pro Kagome there, but she had a point in her rant at the beginning of chapter 4, and I have to give her props for it. That being said, there may be a chapter in here later on that undoes some of the damage in Chapter 5 . . . note I said MAYBE! My mind is still working around that little thought. If you are a Kikyo lover, don't hate me, I just am not fond of that woman. If you are a Kagome lover, don't hate me for having a bit of a difference in view all the sudden. And please, don't stop reading the story cause you don't like my feelings on either. It breaks my heart to know my readers might stop reading cause they didn't like the way something was put . . .
With that said, on with Chapter 6, part 1 and lemony 2.
And before we start, a quote that inspired me to write this section.
"In dreams, desire tends to satisfy itself in imagery for the higher faculties no longer inhibit the passions." - Unknown
Chapter 6 - In Dreams
One month and four days after Kikyo had sealed Kagome to the tree, they were ready for their attempt to reach her. Kaede, Sango, Miroku, and InuYasha gathered near the Bone Eater's Well, their hands full of spell components. Sango and Miroku took posts beside the well on opposite sides, alert for any demons should they approach while InuYasha was under the spell. Shippo and Kirara remained in the village, with Kirara guarding the drugged young kitsune.
"Remember, InuYasha, ye will be entering Kagome's dream state. Ye will be unable to affect anything until you reach Kagome herself . . . and she could be anywhere. Ye must get her to tell thee how she changed the spell . . . or at least what her last thoughts were before she was hit by it."
"I know, Kaede," he growled, impatient. "We've been over this a dozen times already."
"Aye, but thee must not allow thyself to get caught up in what is going on around thee. Ye must remember your reason for being there . . . or else we could very well lose ye both."
InuYasha nodded as he sat at the base of the tree, leaning back against Kagome's legs. He watched as Kaede began the spell, chanting as she build up a small fire, adding various herbs and grasses from time to time. The sweet scented smoke puffed out steadily, and he inhaled as deeply as he could, taking it steadily into his lungs at Kaede's urging. He felt his mind beginning to fuzz, and clutched the Shikon No Tama tighter in his grasp, using it's sharp edges to keep himself focused on his task.
"Kagome . . ." he murmured, his eyes dropping closed. His head fell forward, chin dropping to his chest, his white hair falling forward to act as a curtain to his face.
"He's gone in," he heard Kaede say as if from a great distance. Miroku and Sango murmured something in return, but he didn't catch what.
InuYasha fell into the dream.
----------*----------*----------*----------*----------
It was dark . . . a completely empty void of light. Then, suddenly, he was in his forest, near the Goshinboku tree.
"What the hell . . ." he murmured, disoriented. He could sense Kagome nearby, but his senses seemed to warp the more he tried to concentrate on them. Discarding his senses, he used what his instincts told him, and began to move at a left angle to the tree he'd been sealed to. "Gah, Kagome, where the hell are you?" he muttered.
A clearing appeared ahead of him, not one that he recognized from the actual forest he was in. The air hung with a sense of malice and sadness . . . and despair. He approached cautiously, unsure of what he was walking into, but froze in shock at the scene that greeted him as he entered the clearing.
Kagome stood, her back to him, watching a couple across a flowing stream. InuYasha peered at the couple so engrossed in each other's arms, and his heart nearly stopped. It was him . . . with Kikyo! His dream self and the undead miko broke apart and turned as one to face the girl across the way. They stood easily, the dream InuYasha's arm wrapped lovingly around the dream Kikyo's waist, a sneer of disgust on his face. Beside him, the undead miko smiled coldly, toying with the rosary necklace lovingly.
"You foolish little girl . . . did you truly ever think I would love you?" his dream self growled. "You're pitiful . . . useless . . . pathetic . . . just a weak human girl . . . nothing but a flawed and imperfect copy of my true love. The only thing you've ever done for me was be a shard detector . . . and the only reason we need you for that is cause you broke the jewel in the first place." His grip on the dream Kikyo tightened possessively.
"You'll never be me, little girl," the dream Kikyo stated, her cold eyes traveling over the shivering girl across from her with contempt. "You can't even control your miko powers, or shoot a bow and arrow reliably. You are, and have always been, nothing. Useless and pathetic . . . you couldn't possibly be my reincarnation." She shuddered in disgust as Kagome wrapped her arms tightly around herself, shivering. "InuYasha is mine, and will always be mine. You are nothing to anyone." The undead miko laughed, turning to share a passionate kiss with the man at her side, and together they turned their backs on the girl from the future, walking off into the mists.
InuYasha, frozen in shock, looked back to Kagome. She had collapsed to her knees, tears pouring down her face as she sobbed. He could just hear her mumbling to herself.
"You are worthless, how could you ever expect him to love you, you're nothing like Kikyo, he's said it to you so many times, how could you even think he might come to choose you over her . . ." over and over again she mumbled, sobbing into her knees. InuYasha moved to go to her, but stopped dead in his tracks as the forest and the girl before him disappeared in a flash of light.
He found himself standing in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by chairs, desks and books. "Is this that "school" thing she's tried to describe to me?' he wondered, examining his surroundings. Suddenly, there was an elderly man and Kagome standing near the front of the room. 'What in the . . .' The man was looking down sorrowfully at Kagome, who stood in her school uniform, her hands crossed desperately in front of her.
"Miss Higurashi . . . I'm afraid that your final grades were . . . less than satisfactory for a well placed highschool to be willing to accept you." A look of dread crossed Kagome features. "In fact, they were so low that it has been decided that it would be best that you not continue your schooling. With you health causing such innumerable absences . . . it's best that you find another way to make it in this world. It is a shame, cause you seemed like such a bright pupil. A letter will be sent home."
Kagome shivered and stared at the floor as InuYasha approached from behind her. "I failed . . ." she mumbled. "All that hard work and I failed . . . I failed everyone . . ."
*FLASH*
He was back in the clearing before the Goshinboku tree. Disoriented he looked around, and saw himself as he had been before Kagome awoke him, sealed to the tree in his death. He watched from the sidelines as Kagome relived her memory of finding him, and grimaced when she played with his ears. "I always wondered why they felt funny when I woke up . . . like the fur had been rubbed the wrong way," he muttered. "Damn woman."
*FLASH*
He stood surrounded by burial markers. Spinning in a circle, he spied Kagome nearby . . . or what he thought was Kagome. A young girl stood next to a younger Mrs. Higurashi, staring down at a fresh burial plot in the pouring rain. He moved nearer, noticing as he did so that Mrs. Higurashi was some months pregnant, and the young girl beside her was shedding no tears, but rather, stood with a disbelieving look on her face.
He was close enough to read the stone. "Higurashi, beloved husband and father . . ."
*FLASH*
That night a couple of days ago, the way it could have turned out. He watched, unable to interfere, as Kagome was raped again and again by the bandit, his cold body lying just a few feet away. He gagged and retched at the feeling of rage and horror that engulfed him, his body screaming at him to do something even as his mind knew that he couldn't affect anything till he found the real Kagome. His heart twisted in him painfully at every ragged cry, every scream of pain and denial the figure before him uttered. He stood there helplessly when she at last fell silent, her body alive but her spirit broken, as dead in soul as his corpse beside her was.
*FLASH*
Another forest clearing. Kagome watched, surrounded by soul-stealing youkai as Kikyo and he poured their hearts out, and then Kikyo kissed him and dragged him into hell with her, leaving Kagome to watch helplessly as he disappeared from her life forever.
"This is that night we first ran into Kikyo after she fell from the cliff! But, this isn't how it went!"
*FLASH*
Nothingness. Blank, empty, overwhelming darkness. InuYasha looked around, still stunned at the images he'd lived through and witnessed. 'She's not dreaming . . . she's trapped in an endless cycle of her nightmares and memories . . .' he realized, horrified at the mental torture she was going through.
"KAGOME!" he shouted into the void, spinning in a circle.
"Inu . . . InuYasha?" Her voice came to him from everywhere and yet nowhere.
"Yes Kagome, it's me. I'm here!"
"I can't find you . . ." she sounded forlorn, lost and hopeless. He had to do something before he lost her again.
"Follow the sound of my voice Kagome. Follow it to me . . . you can do this, I know you can . . ."
His surroundings gradually lightened as he talked, encouraging her to follow his voice. Slowly, the clearing surrounding the Goshinboku tree became visible to him. Kagome stood before the tree, staring up at the scar Kikyo's sealing arrow had made in the ancient tree's bark, her back to him.
"Kagome?" he whispered, approaching her slowly.
"Are you just another dream?" she whispered as he stopped beside her. She refused to look at him . . . afraid he would disappear or that Kikyo would be beside him. She'd seen him choose Kikyo so many times now . . .or had to watch him die . . .
"No Kagome. It's me." He reached out and turned her towards him gently. Her eyes were haunted, shoulders slumped in defeat. He pulled her lightly to him, enfolding her into his embrace, pressing her to his chest protectively.
"InuYasha . . ." she sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Is this a dream?"
"Yes and no, Kagome. Do you remember anything of what happened?" He felt her stiffen in his arms.
"Kikyo . . . fired an arrow at me . . ." she shuddered. "Am I dead?"
"No," he replied gruffly, pulling her slightly away to stare into her eyes. "Kikyo sealed you . . . remember how you first found me?" She nodded slowly. "Somehow you managed to put a . . . hole in the spell. Do you know what you did?"
"No . . . I remember a flash of light . . . and wishing . . ." She fell silent.
"Kagome . . .you have to answer me. You have to stay with me . . . tell me, please . . ."
"I remember wishing that you all were there . . . so that I could say goodbye and that I was sorry."
"That's all?" he asked gently.
"Yes. I wished that I could say goodbye to all of you . . . and . . ."
He stared down at her as she looked away, towards the tree. "Kagome . . . tell me please . . . it's important, I swear . . ."
She turned to look back up at him and slowly broke away from his embrace. A couple of steps away, she turned her back to him, wrapping her arms around herself as if cold.
"And I wished . . . I could tell you . . . how much I loved you . . ." she murmured softly.
InuYasha stared at her back in shock. 'She . . she loves me?! She . . . DOES love me!' His heart leapt and began to pound painfully within him.
Kagome listened to his silence with a sinking heart, her whole existence in agony. 'Well, now he knows.' she thought, despair wrapping around her heart in choking waves. 'I might as well let him hear all of it.'
"Yes, I love you . . . even though you love Kikyo," she murmured. "I couldn't help it. I know you'll never love me . . . but I still wanted you to know . . ." She jumped as she felt his arms wrap around her, his chin resting lightly on her shoulder as he held her in a tight embrace.
"You're wrong, Kagome. I don't love Kikyo . . . I've come to the conclusion that I never really did . . ." He breathed in her scent, marveling at how gentle and comforting it was to him. This wasn't the way he'd wanted to tell her . . . but it might be the only chance he ever got. "I love you Kagome. Only and always you."
"You . . . love . . . me?" she whispered, hardly daring to believe the words. "As . . . myself?"
"Yes," he sighed. "You are Kagome . . . the one I love. Not Kikyo, not Kikyo's reincarnation or copy. Just Kagome. It just took me a long damn time to realize it." He turned her gently around to face him. "I love YOU, Kagome . . . who you are, what you are, how you are. And you're not useless, or pathetic, or weak. Not at all."
Tears spilled silently down her cheeks, which he brushed away gently with his thumb. "And I wasn't apologizing for kissing you, you know . . . I was apologizing for all the stupid shit I've done that's hurt you. I was so confused . . . but I'm not anymore. Kikyo was just someone who understood my loneliness, my pain . . . and now she is just someone I have to avenge, a debt to repay. That's all. My heart and my soul are yours Kagome. I just . . . couldn't get up the courage to tell you before this."
"Oh, InuYasha!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing into his yukata. " I . . . I was so afraid . . . I'd given up hope . . ."
InuYasha held Kagome tightly to him. 'At least now she knows . . . if this doesn't work . . . at least I got a chance to tell her.' He stared down into her now upturned face, warming himself in the blaze of love that shone in her eyes. 'This has to work! I can't lose her . . . not now.' Before he could think, he bent down to capture her lips in a desperate kiss, pouring his love and fear into it. His tongue flicked out gently to taste her, and he was pleasantly surprised when she returned his advance with one of her own, running her tongue lightly over his fangs before delving deeper. He gentled the kiss, turning it into one of passion rather than desperation as he ran a gentle hand down her back to settle at her waist, pulling her tightly against him.
To Be Continued
WARNING : THE NEXT CHAPTER IS A LEMON. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OF THE APPROPRIATE AGE.
There, that's out of the way : ) On to the lemon. Oh, and if you are not of age, skipping the next chapter will not hurt the story line at all, I promise! I deliberately wrote it that way.