AUTHOR'S NOTES: if you have clicked on this fanfiction for a standard tv show svu fanfiction, i'm sorry to break it to you but this will not be like the show in really any aspect. if this is what you wanted then read ahead. i have been in the process of writing this for quite some time now. basically, i have been getting too many ideas and now i need to post them. also, take note that this is a story that i have had in the works for so long, so the writing might be more clunky because it is some older writing of mine, by a few years and i was just too scared to ever post my fanfics.
Life starts out simple. We're born to parents. Sometimes, we have a brother or sister. Or both. We grow up, and try new things. We expand our horizons. As we grow, we find new things that we enjoy, and things we stick with because they mean so much to us that we can't let go. And then there are the times, when we lose everything we ever wanted, in a split second of stupidity. We suffer. We break. We learn that we are just human after all. And no matter what we do, we can't stop the inevitable. We can't stop fate.
We try though. We try, and we claw and we scream at the top of our lungs. We fight and refuse to give up. But sometimes, no matter how hard we fight, the truth of life weighs us down. It breaks our spirit. It breaks our very soul. Life isn't a bowl of cherries. It's more the pits inside the cherries. We struggle to make an identity for ourselves, and what do we end up with? A stone, sitting above our dead bodies, as we rot in the ground.
Sounds morbid, but it's true. We do everything we can, to make a name for ourselves in this world, and all we're left with is a name on a stone. A few pictures in someone's album. Is that the life you want? Is that the life that we are destined for? If it is, why bother trying to do anything really special? Does life hold all the answers? Is it possible to find said answers? Or will we just fade off into the sunset?
But, the truth is this:
We will never fully understand the world around us. We can't. It is too vast, too set, to figure out anything. We live our lives, moving from day to day, and never once, do we stop to think, why? We suffer. We lose those close to us. We mourn the loss, but we don't really ask why. Why does a child lose their parents? If this is such a terrific place to live, why do people steal from others? Murder? Rape? Is it really necessary?
Does it make us more of a person, to defile someone else? Or does it ruin the very fabric of what separates us from the animals? It's not easy, to go through life, wondering why. Why did something happen to someone, and not another? Why did a friend die, when you didn't? Why do parents abandon, and never say why?
The reason? Life is a cruel joke. It's something that someone gave us to have, but whoever is holding the cards, likes to change the rules. They like to see us suffer. See us break. See everyone we love, leave us, in one way or another. They say death is just another part of life. That may be, but why does it have to happen so suddenly, and so harshly? Why can't everyone go in their sleep, at the ripe old age of 98? It's not fair. It's hard to pick up the pieces, after someone you love, is taken from you. You move day to day, pretending to be the same person, but really, all you are is a shell of what once was. You don't do the same things. You don't live the same life. You just... are.
This was how Olivia Benson had changed. Once her mother had been killed, that girl changed so much. How was anyone supposed to cope? Her mother's murderer was never caught, which caused her father to turn to alcohol. Her entire life had turned upside down. The law enforcement had shown her exactly what they were capable of. Nothing. Zip. How could she let someone like that roam free? They got to be a free man while her mother was dead. She would never be alive to see another birthday. She wouldn't be around for another boyfriend of Liv's to roll her eyes at. She had nothing to look forward to, and while the killer got to do everything.
She wasn't sure exactly when but there was something inside of her that changed. She couldn't recall the exact moment but it was an epiphany she had that made her realize, her life was never going to be the same. What that killer did was take away both of her parents. She lost her father that day as well. She dropped out of law school, though most would have probably moved to the justice side of the coin. Not Olivia Benson, she decided she was going to take justice into her own hands.
She didn't like to think of herself as a cold-blooded killer, but when the justice system failed, why not do it yourself? She turned her emotions off that day. She was never going to be the same pig-tailed loving little girl again. She was replaced with someone who sought revenge, because of that bastard she lost both of her parents and she wasn't going to let that stand. As time progressed, she became farther and farther from herself. She couldn't even recognize herself in the mirror.
The brunette stared at herself in the mirror as she had finished her shower because she had a meeting. A very important meeting, she took all job offers serious until she read them. Some she couldn't help but laugh though luckily none if it was done to their face. Others made her blood boil like no other.
She pushed her hair out of her face as the water from it dripped down her back. She quickly put clothes on as she was staying in a hotel in New York. It was definitely one of the nicer ones. The walls had white wallpaper that had roses all over them in an off-colour white. Maybe eggshell. She didn't really know, she didn't spend too much time on the wallpaper before she heard a knock on her door.
She went to the door and she looked immediately to the ground grabbing the Manila envelope as she closed the door behind her making her way to one of the chairs as she sat down choosing the one with the coffee table in front of it. Olivia had grown smart.
Once when she was almost IDed she learned to be more careful with her identity and began using a lot of middlemen. Sometimes just to get a file she will use twelve different people. And always use Craigslist to find the people so there will be no ties. She flipped open the file serif a picture of a very handsome man, which she immediately recognized as Elliot Stabler. She had read quite a few of his books. Yes, she is a fan but she would never admit it to anybody.
She immediately started to read over the file and was quite surprised as to what he had done. And what she was reading in this folder was something she would take the case on. He had beaten his fiance, on quite a few occasions but with his money and his connections he had escaped charges every time. Though what was the last straw for his fiance was that he had molested his daughter, Kathleen, which made her stomach churn and made her feel nauseated. She put her hand over her mouth on reflex.
She never could understand what would make a father do that to his own flesh and blood. Though Olivia was a little surprised at the end of the file there were specific instructions. That it was to appear to be an accident and that she had to become close to him in order for that to happen and she wasn't to kill him until she was told. There was even going to be an auction of a date with him that she would have to win. Though the fact that the client was paying made it seem even better.
Though she was debating on how she was going to make the act look like an accident. She had never had to do that before. She could just shoot them in the head and walk away. Or even poison them so she didn't have to be around. This was a puzzle of how she was going to work in an accident. She wasn't clear on why it had to appear as an accident but the money was enough to push her questioning thoughts out of her head for the moment.
Olivia set the folder on the table as she sat down on the couch, bringing her fingers to her lips as she closed her eyes. Her brain couldn't comprehend how someone could do that to their own child. It made her feel dirty and disgusted. It gave her more of a resolve that she was going to take this case and make sure that it was completed so that his child didn't have to suffer anymore. If she hadn't lost faith in the justice system with her mother, she did with the fact that the police would turn a blind eye to this kind of monster.
Pulling out her burner cell, she quickly composed a message letting them know that she was accepting the job. Her digits flew across the screen, before hitting the send button and pocketing the device. She had a couple of hours to start getting her plan in action and it started with the charity event. She hated to show her face too much in public, but she figured that it was no way around this.
\O.o/
Two failed marriages, what a disaster. Maybe the third time is the charm for New York bestselling author, Elliot Stabler. That was how the article had started before Elliot slammed it down on the counter. He didn't even know how the reporters had found out about the proposal. It was a small private moment just between the two of them. He had finally decided to maybe go with a small romantic gesture instead of making it into a big ordeal. Elliot had learned that from his previous two marriages. What a mess those had been. Kathy had gotten pregnant so his first thought was that they should get married. He didn't realize how much of a mistake that would have been. The only good thing that came of the marriage was his daughter, Kathleen, he loved her more than anything. He learned that the moment he laid his eyes on her, she was going to be the most important person to him. He quickly learned that was indeed correct. There were times he couldn't say no to her. Elliot broke out of his thoughts as the teenage blonde-haired girl came out the stairs speaking to her father. He turned smiling to his daughter.
"Are you still going to the fundraiser?" the blonde girl quizzed her father, as she wasn't sure if he was still because his fiancé wasn't going any longer because she had gotten sick. She laid in the back room sound asleep as the both of them could hear her slightly snoring.
"I'm not sure, mother and Delaney want me to still go. I'm just not sure I can enjoy myself without her there," he explained to the younger Stabler.
Kathleen looked at her father for a moment as she contemplated what she was going to say. She knew how much her father had grown attached to Delaney, and she was very happy for him especially since he had taken this relationship a lot slower. She could remember a few times she had to talk her father out of proposing to a few women. It wasn't because Kathleen didn't like them, it was more of they weren't the right fit. Sometimes it felt like he didn't care if he was happy he just wanted to find a good mother for her.
"You don't have to feel bad about having fun without her," she finally spoke up. She sometimes didn't like how caught up he got in her; it was like she cast a spell on him. The younger Stabler looked at him waiting for a reaction when all she was met with was a sigh.
"I know honey, I just love her is all," he lamely replied with. The blonde eyed him for a moment. She wasn't sure if he actually meant it or if this was another time he was picking a mother for her. Ever since her mother, Kathy, lost her in the custody battle she felt her mom pull away a bit more. Her mother was in her life a lot more than most divorced parents. She could see that she was trying to spend time with her, which actually made her happy.
"I know that you do dad, but you shouldn't make your life just about her, because God forbid if she leaves you that will leave you nothing," Kathleen stated. As she lightly ran her fingers across the counter, she was debating whether she should have said that to him. She was saved by her grandmother, as she walked down the stairs in the same grand fashion.
"Good morning, dears," Bernie smiled at the two Stablers that were located in the kitchen. After some small chit-chat, the two girls were off to do some shopping of sorts. Elliot walked back to his bedroom his wallet feeling lighter as his precious daughter got money off of him. He slipped quietly into the bedroom as the sleeping figure lay in bed, blonde hair fanned out over the pillow as a light snore came from her. He gently tried lying down in the bed as the moment his weight hit the bed, her eyes were slowly starting to open a bit. Her blue eyes stared at the man in the bed next to her as a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.
"Morning," she spoke as the sleep was weighing heavily on her voice. She reached over placing her hand on top of his as she closed her eyes again for a brief moment before opening them again. She could see the worry on his face. "What is wrong?" she inquired as she got up a bit from the bed.
"I don't think I really want to go to the fundraiser tonight if you aren't going to be there," he spoke quietly. He wasn't sure that he would have fun without her. It wasn't like he was dependent on her, but he did like to spend time with her. Even if she was a very jealous woman, there were times when he didn't think they would work out because of how jealous she would become. The screaming matches that would happen if she so much as had a thought that the he was flirting with another woman. The rage that the woman was capable of honestly scared him sometimes. It was also a part of him that didn't want her to become jealous of anything.
After she sat there talking to him about it, she kept insisting that he go because she really didn't care if he went because she trusted him, and he had already promised to go and he shouldn't break his word. He wordlessly nodded his head. He kissed the top of her forehead as he glanced at his watch seeing it was already 4 pm. Stabler wanted to get some writing done before he had to leave in four hours. "I am going to get some writing done, you get some rest," he spoke as he left the room going immediately to his study.
He sat down in his chair and he ran his hand over the smooth surface of his desk. He had been blocked for weeks now about his new character, Vivienne Kovac, he had shadowed a few detectives at the 12th precinct but it wasn't what he was looking for, he did, however, learn a few things that he was hoping to include in the series. He had started work on his second chapter, and he already had his publisher up his ass about meeting the deadline. He was supposed to have had it done several days before, but yet again he had hit a roadblock. He had two hours to write something, get anything on that page to show himself that it was a good story. That was how he met Delaney she worked in the 12th precinct with Ryan and Esposito.
The book he was currently writing was based on Delaney, she didn't object to being a character in his book. There was just something about her that wasn't right. He still hadn't worked out a back story on her character. The only thing he had decided on was a name and kind of where he wanted the book to go. He wanted his new character to have much more depth than his previous characters ever had. It was puzzling to him why he couldn't come up with a good character. In the back of his mind, he knew the answer, it was because Delaney wasn't a good muse. She wasn't what he was looking for in his character but he didn't want to admit it to himself.
She was a good cop and there was something that drew him to her, but he was starting to see that in his writing that she wasn't what he needed. She was a lot of other things to him, but a muse wasn't one of them. He just didn't want to tell her that because he knew that it would start another fight.
No one wants to admit that the character they are basing on their fiancé wasn't good because the muse wasn't what they were looking for. He kept trying to hide the fact of why he hasn't written in so long to her because how does someone lightly go about that? There is no nice or easy way of doing it so he would just avoid it when he could. So it wouldn't cause conflict. Hell, he hadn't even come up with a good reason as to why she became a detective. He wasn't going to use Delaney's reason, she had become a detective because that is what her family expected of her. That wouldn't work or do justice for a character as complex as Vivienne Kovac. If he could just come up with a great reason maybe the rest of it would flow easily for him and he could finish the book in no time.
After two hours of the cursor just blinking back at him he finally decided that it was time he got ready, he needed to be there soon. He still didn't have a reason as to why Vivienne became a detective but he was hoping soon he would. Elliot walked into the bathroom and turned the water on quickly stripped his clothes climbing into the shower. He stood letting the hot water run over his body. Elliot turned the knob making the water a little hotter; after he finished washing his hair and body he climbed out wrapping the towel around his waist as he wiped his hand across the mirror taking the condensation off. He ran his fingers through his wet hair staring at himself in the mirror. He was a lot skinnier than he was when he first met Delaney, which was not something he set out on doing. Sometimes he felt like she wanted to change things about him, but he wasn't sure he wanted to change. After staring at himself for much longer than a sane person should he made his way to his bedroom as he got dressed. He hadn't wanted to wear a tuxedo but, Kathleen had insisted on it since it was a formal event.
He pulled the black slacks on and the black jacket on over his white dress shirt. He could hear his mother and daughter downstairs as they were back from their shopping. Once he was satisfied with his appearance he headed downstairs, the stairs creaked slightly under his weight as he made a note to himself to get that fixed.
"Oh Elliot you look marvellous," his mother complimented him in a singy voice as a smile graced his face as Bernie embraced him in a warm hug. His daughter just smiled at the two, she had already approved of his attire when they both picked it out together.
"Thank you mother just upset that Delaney won't be joining me," he stated as his mood dampened a bit from the remark of her not attending with him.
"It will be fine, kiddo," she remarked back as she let him out of the hug. To say that she was thrilled about him marrying Delaney wasn't something she would say anytime soon. She didn't hate his fiancé but she definitely was not a fan of hers. "You better hurry or you will be late," she quickly said patting his shoulder, wanting him to hurry and leave before he would change his mind about the fundraiser. He smiled at the two women standing in front of him nodding his head and giving Kathleen a kiss on her forehead before heading downstairs.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: i have a few more chapters of this figured out, but i honestly have no idea where i am going with this fic. i have a few characters that i want to have involved and brought in but nothing concrete cause i am a mess, but thank you to anyone that read since this is only like my second multi-chapter fanfic ever. also decided to pay some homage to another favourite show of mine with some Castle references! i am debating bringing some of them in since i love an olivia and kate dynamic.