Josh gulped and fought back an urge to hide behind Rose. He figured that if he did that, his life was over. The blond vampire would drink his blood for sure. He still didn't like the look on the bounty hunter's face, though. Especially since the only weapon the fang gang would allow him wasn't loaded. A rivulet of perspiration trickled down his back.
"Daria," Rose said evenly. "You look well. I trust it won't last?"
Daria laughed. "Actually, it will. But it isn't catching." She glanced over at Josh. "We don't really need the weasel here, do we?"
"Hey! Who're you calling a weasel?" Josh protested. "And don't you come no closer till I see some money, McBride."
"See it then." Daria tossed him a thick manila envelope. "Count it, play with it, make love to it for all I care. Just get lost."
Josh tucked the envelope in his jacket and looked around anxiously. Maybe the rest of the monster squad hadn't made it in time. He certainly hadn't seen hide nor hair of them. He wondered what he should do. He finally thought to look at Rose, she gave him a small nod, and he headed out the front door.
"You know," Rose remarked. "I really thought you were going to kill him." She wondered what was taking everyone so long. Maybe they were waiting for Daria to get all the way into the room. She was just barely in the entrance now.
"What makes you think I haven't?" Daria asked conversationally. "You didn't see what was in that envelope that I tossed him, did you? But why waste time on him? I just can't begin to tell you how happy I am to see you."
&&&&&&&&
Josh just made it out the door when Gunn grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him off to one side. "Let's see the payoff," he demanded.
"That's mine," the hood whined.
"It's probably something you don't really want," Gunn advised him. "Now are you gonna hand it over? Or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?"
Josh remembered that unlike his, the lawyer's weapon was loaded. Before they'd left Wolfram and Hart, Gunn had made a show of loading it in front of him. He sighed and handed Gunn the envelope.
Gunn started to take the envelope, but when it began moving, he dropped it like a hot rock. The package quickly metamorphosed into a large, lethal looking snake, which started making a beeline right for Josh. He looked at Gunn helplessly.
Now Gunn was in a dilemma. He could shoot the snake, sure, an easy shot. But the sound would also easily carry into the building, and alert the bounty hunter that all was not well. And while he had no affection for the rodent-faced hood, they had promised to protect him. Now how could he do that without sending a warning to Daria?
&&&&&&
"I've got a video camera set up in my basement," Daria confided. "I want to record every exquisite minute of your suffering." A thrill ran through her that she didn't even bother to conceal. "It's a pity, really, that your boyfriend isn't here. Just thinking of the ways I'm going to make you bleed and scream.., well, I'd jump his bones in a hot second. And considering what he is, I'm betting the sight of blood gets him hot."
"I get him hot," Rose answered, a trifle smugly. Then, the images Daria had evoked ran through her head. "You are sick," she added, her face a picture of utter disgust. "I don't think Spike could even, oh, what is that phrase?"
"Get it up," Spike supplied, vaulting back over the countertop. He put himself between Daria and Rose. "You're absolutely right, too, sweetheart. There is no way I could get it up for her." He smirked at the bounty hunter.
Daria took a couple of steps closer. "Oh, I think you could if you tried," she cooed. "And believe me, after I've worked on your sweetie for a while, you're going to be oh, so, willing to try." She was so singleminded that she had somehow missed the fact that Spike was armed with a large, sharp object, so sure she was of her victory, and happy that she was (she thought) going to be able to add Spike on as a bonus prize.
Angel stepped silently out of the office. "Rose, why don't you go join Wes?" he suggested, startling hell out of Daria. She became even more startled, when Rose, completely unfettered turned away and went up the stairs. "Surprise, Daria."
Daria's jaw hit the floor, and she started fumbling in her clothing for something. She had been so sure of herself and that everything was going to go her way, that she didn't even have anything at hand. Before her groping hands reached anything more offensive than herself, Angel stepped in closer to her and said something in Latin. Daria froze.
Rose blinked. "Angel, what did you do?" She started down the steps, sure now that it was safe. Wesley tagged right along at her heels, turning on a flashlight.
"Payback's a bitch," Angel remarked calmly. "I just gave dear Daria a taste of her own medicine."
"Oh, you didn't." Rose was both horrified and delighted at once. She advanced on the immobile figure, slowly, cautiously. "How do you like it, sweetie?" Then, she hauled off and slapped the bounty hunter with everything she had.
Daria let out a pained yelp, but was unable to do anything else. She looked around from one to the other of them, with a growing look of panic.
"We need to get her out of here," Wesley remarked. "And since she can't move on her own, we'll have to carry her. Where's Gunn?"
"Here." Gunn stood in the doorway, holding half a snake. Josh trailed in after him holding the other half. "Sorry we missed the fun. We got caught up in a game of tug-of-war."
"Eww." Fred and Lorne entered, each carrying flashlights of their own. "Are you okay, Rosebud?" the demon asked. Fred always had had a stronger stomach than his.
"Of course I'm all right, Lorne," Rose replied. "After all, I had Spike here to protect me." She beamed at her honey, and a smirking Spike wrapped his arms around her.
&&&&&&&
They were all having a post crisis drink and snack party at Angel's place.
"Angel, what exactly are you going to do with Daria?" Wesley inquired. "I hope you're not planning on keeping her here."
"That would just be too morbid for words," Lorne agreed. "Besides, it might give our little blossom nightmares." He gave Rose a slightly bleary smile. He'd been lapping up the booze since they hit the door.
"Not to worry," Angel assured them, the evil smile coming into play again. "We're not ever going to have to set eyes on Daria McBride again."
"But where is she going?" Gunn prompted. He handed another drink to Josh, who downed it and handed the glass back for more. He'd been sopping up liquor even faster than Lorne had, obviously intent in drinking himself into insensibility.
"To the Umorik dimension." Angel gave a satisfied sigh. "The Q'xlzr in the cells contacted the Umorik demon for me, and we made a deal with Daria's ex-client."
Spike threw back his head and laughed, and gave Rose, who was sitting on his lap, a squeeze. "That's priceless," he chortled. "Just bloody priceless."
Wesley stood and raised his glass. "To poetic justice," he proposed.
They all drank to that.
&&&&&&&&
Spike cuddled Rose close to him. "Tomorrow night we can be back in our own place," he remarked. "That suit you, luv?"
"As long as you're there, anywhere suits me," she replied. "Do you really think it's all over now? Or is it just going to be one crises after the other?"
"I have a feeling what with working at Wolfram and Hart, life will be, eventful," Spike replied thoughtfully. "We don't have to hang around here anymore if you don't want to, sweetheart. We could strike out somewhere on our own."
"And leave all our friends?" Rose asked in dismay. "I don't think I'd care too much for that."
"Then we'll stick around for however long," Spike agreed. "Didn't really feel like moving, myself."
"Then why did you offer?" she wondered. She snuggled up a little closer, or tried. Any closer and they'd be wearing the same skin.
"Because I want you to be happy," Spike replied, sounding just the slightest exasperated. "I want that more than anything."
"And I just want to make you happy," Rose said. "So I guess that kind of works out, doesn't it?"
"It does indeed, pet," Spike agreed. "You want to know what would make me happy right now?" he murmured into her ear.
"How many guesses do I get?" she inquired, wriggling against him. "I love you, Spike."
"I love you too, babe," he muttered. "You were going to do something about making me happy right now?"
&&&&&&&&
Spike was running his men through a series of physical drills. To toughen the poncey gits up a bit, although he had to admit that they were finally starting to shape up. Except the new guy. "Get the lead out of your ass, Maxwell," he snarled, catching up with ease. "At the rate you're going, there isn't one of the team that's going to want you at his back."
Josh looked at him miserably. A well paying job. A job he couldn't quit, either. And he'd believed Angel when the boss vampire told him that if he took off, they'd track him down. He was going to be rehabilitated whether he wanted to be or not. God, what had he done to be forced to earn an honest living? He honestly didn't think he'd done anything that bad. Especially considering who his immediate supervisor was. He slackened his pace again.
"I said move it, Maxwell." Spike went to game face, and Josh took off like a rocket, with nothing to look forward to but another evening nursing aching muscles, and a night filled with blond, fanged faces chasing him. Again.
&&&&&&&
"You'll be fine, Rose," Wesley assured her. "I'm only going to be gone a week. You can handle it. If I didn't think so, I never would have promoted you."
"But I've never been in charge before," Rose said nervously. "What if I do something terribly wrong?"
"There's a first time for everything," Wesley replied. "And if you're not sure about something, ask Angel. He is the boss, after all. And, if worst comes to worst, you have a number where you can reach me." He gave her a stern look. "But that number is strictly for emergencies, miss. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir," Rose replied. Then, she lightened up a bit. "Hurry back, Wes," she said, giving him a hug.
&&&&&&&
Lorne marched up to Harmony's desk. "Did you know that we have a Sinquaorth demon working security in the front lobby?" he demanded. "More to the point, does Angel know?"
Harmony giggled. "That's not a real demon, Lorne," she said. "That's the robot they made and never got a chance to use. Waste not, want not, I guess."
"Well it sure as hell ought to scare the socks off of anyone who even thinks of getting out of line," Lorne grumped. "But it would have been nice if the rest of us had been given some warning."
&&&&&&&
"Nice to be in our own place without having to worry about anyone's delicate sensibilities, isn't it, pet?" Spike asked. They were on the kitchen table.
"Mm-hm," Rose mumbled lazily, moving in rhythm with him.
"God that feels good." Spike buried his face in her hair for a moment, trying to regain his equilibrium. Then, despite the fact that they were.., busy, or perhaps because of it, he started thinking. Out loud. "Let's see, we've done it in the living room, the bathroom, the linen closet and now the kitchen. Have we missed something?"
"How about the bedroom?" Rose asked with a giggle.
&&&&&&&&
Angel kicked off his shoes and lounged back in his chair with a contented sigh, putting his feet up. At long last, he had his place all to himself again, and it felt.., it felt good. Sure it did. Feeling a little restless, he got up and turned on the sound system, but instead of putting in something relaxing, he played a c.d. that Spike had left behind, and cranked up the volume. Now, the place didn't feel quite so empty.
The End?
"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs." William Shakespeare