Chapter 4
The next morning Snape got up pretty early. He went up to the Great Hall, which was of course empty, and waited for the house elves to finish his breakfast.
For a moment he had thought about waking Harry but then he had decided against it. The boy had had a hard night and Severus was sure that the rest would be more than good for him. He didn't want to disturb him.
And so he had time to think everything over once more. He had to do something to cheer Harry up, if possible without showing any weakness himself. The last thing he wanted was to be confronted with his own past and still he remembered his father's voice very, very well: "Showing emotions is weak - you are weak!" That was probably the main reason why Snape had stopped to show his feelings to anyone pretty early in his life. Even though Albus had taughed him that this was the wrong way he couldn't get rid of old habits which had protected him for such a long time. The only time he really opened up was when he was alone with the headmaster. Even the other teachers thought him to be cold and he knew that they only accepted him, not a single one of them really liked him. He didn't want Harry to become like that. Always an outsider, never having friends, he even had thought about killing himself a few times. But fortunately Dumbledore had been there. Suddenly his vision blurred, the table before him disappeared and he saw the ground so far away. He was suddenly standing on a very, very high tower, the highest tower of Hogwarts. And all he could think of was the peace he would feel if he just found the courage to jump, no more pain, no more shame. But there was a gentle hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "Don't, please don't do that, Severus." Then he realized that this situation had been so many years ago, only a few hours after James Potter and his friends and tortured him again. For a moment it had seemed to him as if all that had happened just now.
The potion master sighed. Thinking about all that again and again wouldn't help the boy who was probably still asleep in the dungeons. He had to do something to make him believe that he really cared about him for he knew that was the most important thing right now. With a sigh he bowed his head a little. He wasn't the right person for such things. If only Albus was here! The old wizard would surely know what to do. After all he had managed to help him as well.
Suddenly a thought came to his mind. Today was Harry's birthday, wasn't it? He would get him something, something special. Of course he knew that a present wouldn't cause the problem to go away, but hopefully Potter would realize that he didn't hate him anymore. At least there was something he could do.
***
Harry slowly stood up, got dressed and walked out of his room. The living room was empty and he thought that Snape was probably in the Great Hall already and so he also headed for it.
On the way he realized that his injuries almost didn't hurt anymore, the potion really had helped. Of course Madam Pomfrey's medicines worked much faster but Snape wasn't a healer after all.
Still the young wizard couldn't believe that the professor had allowed him to stay with him for four weeks! School would start again in five weeks and Dumbledore and the other teachers would come back a week before. He had thought that Snape would find somebody else Harry could stay with but he obviously didn't intend to.
As he entered the Great Hall the potion master looked up at him with his cold, black eyes. "Good morning, Harry. Did you sleep well for the rest of the night?"
Was there a hint of worry in that usually emotionless voice? Nonsense! But why did Snape suddenly call him 'Harry' instead of 'Potter'? He had done it last night already when he had tried to calm him after his nightmare. Until now he hadn't really thought about it.
Finally he collected himself and answered. "Good morning, sir. Yes, I did." That was a lie, he hadn't been able to fall asleep again but he didn't want to get on Snape's nerves. He had learned the hard way that this could be deadly.
Slowly he walked over to the table he usually sat on while eating. The professor sat on the teacher's table. There was a distance between them and Harry was pretty glad about that.
"That's good. I will go out today." Severus paused. He had to make up something believable. "Albus asked me to take care of something for him and I can't take you with me. I guess you come along on your own for a few hours?" He raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for the boy's answer.
Potter nodded quickly. "Yes, of course, sir. Don't worry." Immediatly he regretted his words. Why should Snape be worried about him?
"Alright then, I will go in an hour then."
In this very moment the house elves came into the room, carrying their plates.
***
Severus slowly walked from one shop in Diagon Alley to another. What was there he could give to a fourteen year old boy? A book maybe? He entered the book store and after a few moments he found something about Quidditsch. Well, that was something. But it was a pretty small book and he didn't want Harry to think that he didn't want to spend money for him.
So he left the store and began to search again. It was becoming frustrating. He didn't even know the boy - how should he know what he wanted then?
He had a wand already, just like an owl and he surely didn't feel the need to have a cat, a toad or a rat as well, he had one of the best broomsticks and his robes were still fitting as well. And what now? So many wizards and witches were in Diagon Alley as well and none of them seemed to have any problems on choosing what they wanted. Why did it always have to be him?
Maybe he should just take the book and go back to Hogwarts. After all it was better than nothing.
But then he came to a shop which sold magic stones. That was it! Magic stones were very useful and the perfect present for a young wizard. Harry probably didn't even know about them.
Snape entered the shop and decided to take a ruby one which shone brightly in his hand. He just hoped that Potter would like it.
Afterwards he quickly returned to Hogwarts.
***
Harry returned to his room and sat down on his bed. For a moment he wondered what to do as long as Snape was gone. He was deadly tired but he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to dream about his uncle, aunt and cousin again. Then he remembered the book he had started to read the day before. When he wanted to get up and look for it he realized that it was lying on his bed-side table. Snape must have brought it there.
He sighed. Right now he didn't have the nerve anymore to think about that again. All he wanted was to forget everything, even if it was only for a little while.
He had nearly finished his book when he heard that the door opened. So Snape had returned. Harry wondered if he should stay out of the professor's way or go out to greet him.
"Harry? Are you there?" He heard him calling from the living room.
"Yes, just a second." The boy got up, left the book on the bed and left his room. He wondered what Snape could possibly want of him.
He remained standing in the door-frame and looked at the older wizard. "What is it, sir?"
The potion master had something in his hands, something wrapped in paper. He sat down on the sofa. "Please come here, Harry", he said in a soft voice. Well, it was a normal voice, but for Snape it was really, really soft.
The boy decided that it was better to obey and carefully sat down next to him. Suddenly he held the things the professor had brought in his hands. "Happy Birthday, Harry."
TBC
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The next morning Snape got up pretty early. He went up to the Great Hall, which was of course empty, and waited for the house elves to finish his breakfast.
For a moment he had thought about waking Harry but then he had decided against it. The boy had had a hard night and Severus was sure that the rest would be more than good for him. He didn't want to disturb him.
And so he had time to think everything over once more. He had to do something to cheer Harry up, if possible without showing any weakness himself. The last thing he wanted was to be confronted with his own past and still he remembered his father's voice very, very well: "Showing emotions is weak - you are weak!" That was probably the main reason why Snape had stopped to show his feelings to anyone pretty early in his life. Even though Albus had taughed him that this was the wrong way he couldn't get rid of old habits which had protected him for such a long time. The only time he really opened up was when he was alone with the headmaster. Even the other teachers thought him to be cold and he knew that they only accepted him, not a single one of them really liked him. He didn't want Harry to become like that. Always an outsider, never having friends, he even had thought about killing himself a few times. But fortunately Dumbledore had been there. Suddenly his vision blurred, the table before him disappeared and he saw the ground so far away. He was suddenly standing on a very, very high tower, the highest tower of Hogwarts. And all he could think of was the peace he would feel if he just found the courage to jump, no more pain, no more shame. But there was a gentle hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "Don't, please don't do that, Severus." Then he realized that this situation had been so many years ago, only a few hours after James Potter and his friends and tortured him again. For a moment it had seemed to him as if all that had happened just now.
The potion master sighed. Thinking about all that again and again wouldn't help the boy who was probably still asleep in the dungeons. He had to do something to make him believe that he really cared about him for he knew that was the most important thing right now. With a sigh he bowed his head a little. He wasn't the right person for such things. If only Albus was here! The old wizard would surely know what to do. After all he had managed to help him as well.
Suddenly a thought came to his mind. Today was Harry's birthday, wasn't it? He would get him something, something special. Of course he knew that a present wouldn't cause the problem to go away, but hopefully Potter would realize that he didn't hate him anymore. At least there was something he could do.
***
Harry slowly stood up, got dressed and walked out of his room. The living room was empty and he thought that Snape was probably in the Great Hall already and so he also headed for it.
On the way he realized that his injuries almost didn't hurt anymore, the potion really had helped. Of course Madam Pomfrey's medicines worked much faster but Snape wasn't a healer after all.
Still the young wizard couldn't believe that the professor had allowed him to stay with him for four weeks! School would start again in five weeks and Dumbledore and the other teachers would come back a week before. He had thought that Snape would find somebody else Harry could stay with but he obviously didn't intend to.
As he entered the Great Hall the potion master looked up at him with his cold, black eyes. "Good morning, Harry. Did you sleep well for the rest of the night?"
Was there a hint of worry in that usually emotionless voice? Nonsense! But why did Snape suddenly call him 'Harry' instead of 'Potter'? He had done it last night already when he had tried to calm him after his nightmare. Until now he hadn't really thought about it.
Finally he collected himself and answered. "Good morning, sir. Yes, I did." That was a lie, he hadn't been able to fall asleep again but he didn't want to get on Snape's nerves. He had learned the hard way that this could be deadly.
Slowly he walked over to the table he usually sat on while eating. The professor sat on the teacher's table. There was a distance between them and Harry was pretty glad about that.
"That's good. I will go out today." Severus paused. He had to make up something believable. "Albus asked me to take care of something for him and I can't take you with me. I guess you come along on your own for a few hours?" He raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for the boy's answer.
Potter nodded quickly. "Yes, of course, sir. Don't worry." Immediatly he regretted his words. Why should Snape be worried about him?
"Alright then, I will go in an hour then."
In this very moment the house elves came into the room, carrying their plates.
***
Severus slowly walked from one shop in Diagon Alley to another. What was there he could give to a fourteen year old boy? A book maybe? He entered the book store and after a few moments he found something about Quidditsch. Well, that was something. But it was a pretty small book and he didn't want Harry to think that he didn't want to spend money for him.
So he left the store and began to search again. It was becoming frustrating. He didn't even know the boy - how should he know what he wanted then?
He had a wand already, just like an owl and he surely didn't feel the need to have a cat, a toad or a rat as well, he had one of the best broomsticks and his robes were still fitting as well. And what now? So many wizards and witches were in Diagon Alley as well and none of them seemed to have any problems on choosing what they wanted. Why did it always have to be him?
Maybe he should just take the book and go back to Hogwarts. After all it was better than nothing.
But then he came to a shop which sold magic stones. That was it! Magic stones were very useful and the perfect present for a young wizard. Harry probably didn't even know about them.
Snape entered the shop and decided to take a ruby one which shone brightly in his hand. He just hoped that Potter would like it.
Afterwards he quickly returned to Hogwarts.
***
Harry returned to his room and sat down on his bed. For a moment he wondered what to do as long as Snape was gone. He was deadly tired but he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to dream about his uncle, aunt and cousin again. Then he remembered the book he had started to read the day before. When he wanted to get up and look for it he realized that it was lying on his bed-side table. Snape must have brought it there.
He sighed. Right now he didn't have the nerve anymore to think about that again. All he wanted was to forget everything, even if it was only for a little while.
He had nearly finished his book when he heard that the door opened. So Snape had returned. Harry wondered if he should stay out of the professor's way or go out to greet him.
"Harry? Are you there?" He heard him calling from the living room.
"Yes, just a second." The boy got up, left the book on the bed and left his room. He wondered what Snape could possibly want of him.
He remained standing in the door-frame and looked at the older wizard. "What is it, sir?"
The potion master had something in his hands, something wrapped in paper. He sat down on the sofa. "Please come here, Harry", he said in a soft voice. Well, it was a normal voice, but for Snape it was really, really soft.
The boy decided that it was better to obey and carefully sat down next to him. Suddenly he held the things the professor had brought in his hands. "Happy Birthday, Harry."
TBC
PLEASE REVIEW (-: