A/N: Sorry that it took me so long to update, but I had to do a lot for school! I hope I didn't let you wait too long!
Enjoy!
Chapter 5
Harry didn't know what to think. For a moment he stared at Snape in shock, but then he realized that he was behaving stupid. Slowly he unwrapped his present and looked at it. To be exactly there were two presents. The first one was one of the few books about Quitdditsh he hadn't read yet. The second one was a stone, shining in bright red with a few dark shapes in it.
The boy had never seen such a stone. Sure, it was beautiful, but certainly it had a meaning, too.
Severus looked at Harry and waited for his reaction. He couldn't deny that he was more than a little nervous. Usually he never gave presents to anyone, except for Dumbledore. Until then he had never tried to get to know Harry and so he had no idea what kind of presents he prefered.
Eventually the younger wizard overcame the shock and re-discovered his voice. "Thank you, sir. The book is great. But what is the stone for? I've never seen anything like it."
Snape tried really hard not to show any emotions as he answered. He didn't want to drop his mask. "It's a magic stone. Some say that it guards it's owner but I don't know if that's true. Fact is that it makes your charms stronger as long as you carry it with you. It also gets warm if danger is close, so it's best if you keep it in your pocket."
Harry smiled shyly. "Thank you. That's great!"
Snape merely nodded, got up and went into his room.
***
Harry just stared after him.
What had gotten into him? The boy had never thought that his cold and mean potion master was capable of any human feelings. That was all so weird!
He really didn't know what to think about this situation and he so wished to be able to talk to Ron or Hermione, but of course that was impossible now.
Why had Sape given him presents? Why had he left so quickly afterwards?
Harry sighed a little. This man could be so frustrating - even when he tried to be nice! Maybe he was just doing that because Dumbledore would want him to? Possible. Probably he was just afraid of the headmaster's reaction when he would hear that the professor had been mean to Harry after all he'd been through. But on the other hand - would Dumbledore expect anything else?
Why was he trying so hard to make him feel better then? First the comfort after the nightmare, now the presents... But if Snape really meant it well, why had he left him alone then after giving him the book and the stone?
Again a small sigh escaped the young wizard's lips.
He didn't want to think about it anymore and so he just turned his attention to his new book and began to read it.
***
He just hadn't been able to stand it anymore and so he had gone - fled - into his room. Of course he was glad that Harry had liked his presents but the grateful and yet curious look in his eyes had been too much for the potion master. If he just knew how to react to that!
It wasn't hard for him to remember how Dumbledore had treated him: Gentle words, embraces, caresses, comfort...
But he just couldn't bring himself to do that as well! And somehow he hated himself for that. He really should know what to do - after all he'd been through in his own childhood.
Well, at least Dumbledore would know what to do. But he wouldn't come back for the next three weeks.
Why did it all have to be so bloody hard?
After half an hour of sitting around and pondering about what to do he decided that it wasn't fair to leave Harry alone for so long, not on his birthday. But would the boy even want his company? Maybe not, but he would still try.
***
Severus walked out of his room to find Harry still sitting on the sofa where he had left him. He was reading his new book and hadn't even realized his professor's presence.
Snape cleared his throat and the young wizard looked up at him. "Oh. Hello, sir. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."
"That's alright. So you like the book?"
"Yes, very much. You managed to find one of the few I didn't read yet", Harry said jokingly.
"Good." The potion master didn't know what else to say and so he also took a book out of the shelf, sat down in the armchair next to the fire and started to read as well.
Harry watched him for a while, still the question why Snape acted like that didn't leave his mind for a second. Why not just ask? 'Because you could end up dead, you idiot', he answered the question himself.
Well, he just had to know, risk or not.
"Sir, may I ask you something?"
"Sure, but I cannot guarantee you to answer." Snape's voice was as sarcastic as always. Well, that didn't make it easier at all.
Harry tried it anyway. "Why are you doing that?"
Snape looked up and his black eyes stared at him coldly. But there was no hatred there, no disgust or anything like that. "What exactly am I doing?"
"You are... well, you are actually nice to me." His voice was terribly shy and he hated himself for it.
The potion master sighed and lay the book aside. "Because I've seen what they have done to you." He still tried to sound as if he didn't really care. It was getting harder and harder...
"Yes, but I... I thought you wouldn't mind."
'God, have I really been such a bastard?' But Snape knew that the answer was yes. He closed his eyes, thinking of an answer. "I may be unfair sometimes, or even most of the time, but I would never hit any of my students, even if I was allowed to. There's nothing I disgust more than hitting children."
Harry would never have thought that Snape was thinking like that. Even though the potion master still tried to sound nonchalant the young wizard could see that he really cared. The look in his eyes was so different from usual. Compassion was shining in the dark dephs and there was also something else Harry couldn't name for sure. Was it pain? Impossible, there was no reason to.
Or was there something he didn't know?
Well, he certainly wasn't close enough to Snape to ask him and so he just tried to ignore it. Then he heard the deep voice again. "Of course I mind, I am not a monster, Harry."
Potter's eyes widened. "No, I would never..."
A wry smile came to the man's lips. "Do you think I'm deaf? I know very well how students talk about me. What's Weasley's nickname for me again? Greasy git?"
Harry was sure that it was impossible to get more embarrassed. Without looking into a mirror he knew that he was as red as a tomatoe. How had Snape been able to overhear that? He feared that Ron would get into big trouble now. "It wasn't meant like that, sir, really..."
"I know it was", the potion master interrupted him. "And I even understand you. But you may believe me, Mr Potter, I'm not always like that." He seemed to be lost in thoughts for a moment and Harry thought it was best not to disturb him now.
The boy watched his teacher closely, suddenly realizing that there was really something like pain in those usually emotionless black eyes of his. What was wrong with the potion master?
"Are... are you alright, sir?"
Severus looked up, surprised to hear worry in Harry's tiny voice. Had he shown his thoughts to openly? "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." He took a deep breath, trying to ignore his mother's voice in his head. 'You worthless bastard - I wish you had never been born.' Snape was sure that he would never get rid of this voice. He would never be able to sleep peacefully without a dreamless sleep potion, which he drank every night. Hopefully Harry would get over those dreams in time.
He didn't know what to say and so he returned to his book.
***
Harry was bored.
He was in Snape's house for five days now and he really didn't know what to do. The potion master wasn't mean to him at all, but he also wasn't really nice anymore. Maybe he had gone too far during this talk?
Every night he had a nighmare and when Snape heard him he came to calm him, but then he went away again.
In the evening of the fifth day Harry wanted to go to bed as he walked past the professor's room. The door was open but obviously Snape hadn't noticed him. The older man took a small bottle, opened it, sighed a little and drank the liquid - which had the same color as the dreamless sleep potion! Maybe it was still something different. But what else would someone take before going to bed?
Suddenly Snape turned around and looked at Harry sharply.
TBC
Please review (-:
Enjoy!
Chapter 5
Harry didn't know what to think. For a moment he stared at Snape in shock, but then he realized that he was behaving stupid. Slowly he unwrapped his present and looked at it. To be exactly there were two presents. The first one was one of the few books about Quitdditsh he hadn't read yet. The second one was a stone, shining in bright red with a few dark shapes in it.
The boy had never seen such a stone. Sure, it was beautiful, but certainly it had a meaning, too.
Severus looked at Harry and waited for his reaction. He couldn't deny that he was more than a little nervous. Usually he never gave presents to anyone, except for Dumbledore. Until then he had never tried to get to know Harry and so he had no idea what kind of presents he prefered.
Eventually the younger wizard overcame the shock and re-discovered his voice. "Thank you, sir. The book is great. But what is the stone for? I've never seen anything like it."
Snape tried really hard not to show any emotions as he answered. He didn't want to drop his mask. "It's a magic stone. Some say that it guards it's owner but I don't know if that's true. Fact is that it makes your charms stronger as long as you carry it with you. It also gets warm if danger is close, so it's best if you keep it in your pocket."
Harry smiled shyly. "Thank you. That's great!"
Snape merely nodded, got up and went into his room.
***
Harry just stared after him.
What had gotten into him? The boy had never thought that his cold and mean potion master was capable of any human feelings. That was all so weird!
He really didn't know what to think about this situation and he so wished to be able to talk to Ron or Hermione, but of course that was impossible now.
Why had Sape given him presents? Why had he left so quickly afterwards?
Harry sighed a little. This man could be so frustrating - even when he tried to be nice! Maybe he was just doing that because Dumbledore would want him to? Possible. Probably he was just afraid of the headmaster's reaction when he would hear that the professor had been mean to Harry after all he'd been through. But on the other hand - would Dumbledore expect anything else?
Why was he trying so hard to make him feel better then? First the comfort after the nightmare, now the presents... But if Snape really meant it well, why had he left him alone then after giving him the book and the stone?
Again a small sigh escaped the young wizard's lips.
He didn't want to think about it anymore and so he just turned his attention to his new book and began to read it.
***
He just hadn't been able to stand it anymore and so he had gone - fled - into his room. Of course he was glad that Harry had liked his presents but the grateful and yet curious look in his eyes had been too much for the potion master. If he just knew how to react to that!
It wasn't hard for him to remember how Dumbledore had treated him: Gentle words, embraces, caresses, comfort...
But he just couldn't bring himself to do that as well! And somehow he hated himself for that. He really should know what to do - after all he'd been through in his own childhood.
Well, at least Dumbledore would know what to do. But he wouldn't come back for the next three weeks.
Why did it all have to be so bloody hard?
After half an hour of sitting around and pondering about what to do he decided that it wasn't fair to leave Harry alone for so long, not on his birthday. But would the boy even want his company? Maybe not, but he would still try.
***
Severus walked out of his room to find Harry still sitting on the sofa where he had left him. He was reading his new book and hadn't even realized his professor's presence.
Snape cleared his throat and the young wizard looked up at him. "Oh. Hello, sir. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."
"That's alright. So you like the book?"
"Yes, very much. You managed to find one of the few I didn't read yet", Harry said jokingly.
"Good." The potion master didn't know what else to say and so he also took a book out of the shelf, sat down in the armchair next to the fire and started to read as well.
Harry watched him for a while, still the question why Snape acted like that didn't leave his mind for a second. Why not just ask? 'Because you could end up dead, you idiot', he answered the question himself.
Well, he just had to know, risk or not.
"Sir, may I ask you something?"
"Sure, but I cannot guarantee you to answer." Snape's voice was as sarcastic as always. Well, that didn't make it easier at all.
Harry tried it anyway. "Why are you doing that?"
Snape looked up and his black eyes stared at him coldly. But there was no hatred there, no disgust or anything like that. "What exactly am I doing?"
"You are... well, you are actually nice to me." His voice was terribly shy and he hated himself for it.
The potion master sighed and lay the book aside. "Because I've seen what they have done to you." He still tried to sound as if he didn't really care. It was getting harder and harder...
"Yes, but I... I thought you wouldn't mind."
'God, have I really been such a bastard?' But Snape knew that the answer was yes. He closed his eyes, thinking of an answer. "I may be unfair sometimes, or even most of the time, but I would never hit any of my students, even if I was allowed to. There's nothing I disgust more than hitting children."
Harry would never have thought that Snape was thinking like that. Even though the potion master still tried to sound nonchalant the young wizard could see that he really cared. The look in his eyes was so different from usual. Compassion was shining in the dark dephs and there was also something else Harry couldn't name for sure. Was it pain? Impossible, there was no reason to.
Or was there something he didn't know?
Well, he certainly wasn't close enough to Snape to ask him and so he just tried to ignore it. Then he heard the deep voice again. "Of course I mind, I am not a monster, Harry."
Potter's eyes widened. "No, I would never..."
A wry smile came to the man's lips. "Do you think I'm deaf? I know very well how students talk about me. What's Weasley's nickname for me again? Greasy git?"
Harry was sure that it was impossible to get more embarrassed. Without looking into a mirror he knew that he was as red as a tomatoe. How had Snape been able to overhear that? He feared that Ron would get into big trouble now. "It wasn't meant like that, sir, really..."
"I know it was", the potion master interrupted him. "And I even understand you. But you may believe me, Mr Potter, I'm not always like that." He seemed to be lost in thoughts for a moment and Harry thought it was best not to disturb him now.
The boy watched his teacher closely, suddenly realizing that there was really something like pain in those usually emotionless black eyes of his. What was wrong with the potion master?
"Are... are you alright, sir?"
Severus looked up, surprised to hear worry in Harry's tiny voice. Had he shown his thoughts to openly? "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." He took a deep breath, trying to ignore his mother's voice in his head. 'You worthless bastard - I wish you had never been born.' Snape was sure that he would never get rid of this voice. He would never be able to sleep peacefully without a dreamless sleep potion, which he drank every night. Hopefully Harry would get over those dreams in time.
He didn't know what to say and so he returned to his book.
***
Harry was bored.
He was in Snape's house for five days now and he really didn't know what to do. The potion master wasn't mean to him at all, but he also wasn't really nice anymore. Maybe he had gone too far during this talk?
Every night he had a nighmare and when Snape heard him he came to calm him, but then he went away again.
In the evening of the fifth day Harry wanted to go to bed as he walked past the professor's room. The door was open but obviously Snape hadn't noticed him. The older man took a small bottle, opened it, sighed a little and drank the liquid - which had the same color as the dreamless sleep potion! Maybe it was still something different. But what else would someone take before going to bed?
Suddenly Snape turned around and looked at Harry sharply.
TBC
Please review (-: