Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, deathfic

Finding Heaven

Part Four: Iron Stomachs and Strong Constitutions

Whatever good cheer Duo had been racking up for the past week had miraculously disappeared with one simple meeting with Heero at the mall. He wanted to just call the whole dinner off but knowing Quatre, he would never hear the end of it. His blond friend would want to know why, how, what happened and a host of other words starting with w that can end with a question mark. That guy should have been an interrogator instead of as a businessman. Being a businessman, Duo reflected, it was like being an interrogator.

So, at 6.30 that evening, Duo found himself dragging his reluctant ass into his car, carrying a cheap bottle wine he knew his friend was going to hate and driving to Quatre's palatial mansion approximately half and hour away. He drove through the imposing gates and parked his late model car next to Quatre's limousines. He was met at the door by the blond businessman's loyal servants, who called themselves the Manguanacs. Why? Duo couldn't even begin to guess. He was shown to the kitchen, where once a week, Quatre Winner, does his own killing, uhm, cooking.

Dinner at Quatre's were usually a minimalist affair, despite the troop of servants that hovered worriedly in their 'master's' wake, as they lovingly tagged him. The blond prepared the food while Duo and Quatre's life partner, Trowa Barton cleaned up after dinner. But his loyal servants would not believe that their Master Quatre was able to prepare a full course dinner without burning the kitchen or poisoning the guests. Quatre had done his best to squelch his frustration at his servants, whom he loved as much as his family, but when they rushed into the dining room dialing 911 and carrying a first aid kit when Duo had faked a faint after taking a bite of Quatre's casserole, the blond had turned an alarming shade of red.

Duo was ceremoniously kicked out of the house by his friend and was treated to a lighter version of the cold war for the next week or so. It had taken an enormous amount of wheedling and Trowa's help to get the blond to speak to him again. Then the servants had turned on the braided man for making their beloved Master Quatre angry with them and they had poisoned his food with laxatives. Duo Maxwell got really acquainted with his bathroom for the next few days.

"Quat, I don't think I'm going to like this guy," Duo announced, helping his friend toss the salad. It was a ritual that he came early to help his friend cook, just to ease the minds of the blond's servants.

Duo meant edible cooking. How that equation formed Duo had no idea. He couldn't cook even if it meant saving his own life. Chinese take out and the friendly neighbourhood pizza delivery service  were his life savers.

"You should give it a chance," Quatre said, stirring at a pot of something. His perceptive aquamarine eyes studied Duo with concern. There was something off with his friend tonight. The smile and the light heartedness were there, but it was not completely genuine, or as genuine as it could be with Duo. Tonight, it seemed more faked, more forced than usual.

Duo shuddered staring at the steaming pot, unsure of whether to run or pick up a bottle of charcoal pills. His friend loved to experiment with food. While they were at most times edible, the palate took quite a beating with the spices used. Still, they all indulged the blond. He was the epitome of wide eyed innocence with fine blond white hair and glorious aqua eyes that when wielded properly, could cause steel to bend itself from guilt.

Besides, disappointed Quatre equals upset Trowa equals run for your freaking life.

"… Trowa's best friend," Quatre chattered, his mind still 100% on the steaming pot of hell, uh food.

"Sorry?" Duo asked. "I wasn't paying too much attention a while ago." He set the spoons he was using for the salad aside and picked up his soda, sipping it lightly.

Quatre sighed at his friend's inattentiveness. This was something new. Usually Duo would hang onto his every word and then some. "I said, the guy who's coming tonight is Trowa's best friend from school."

"Oh."

The blond businessman felt his jaw hanging open. "Oh, is that all you are going to say? Oh?"

Duo tilted his head with a smile. "What do you want me to say Quat?" He put down his can of soda, clasped his hand dramatically and simpered like a girl. "Oh, wow, Quatre, is he like so cute? Tell me, tell me, tell…" He trailed off, realising a little too late he may have taken it a little too far. "Sorry," he said, contritely, hiding behind his soda again.

"Can't you see I want you to be happy?" Quatre asked his exasperating friend, hands firmly plunked on slim hips.

Duo finally managed an honest, sincere smile. "Yes, Quat, I can, and for that I'm thankful. I just don't like your methods. They are underhanded and creepy."

"Creepy?" Quatre frowned.

The photographer shuddered dramatically. "Hey, Guy #11 was pretty creepy. All he wanted to talk about was porcelain dolls."

Quatre laughed. "Guy #11? Don't you even know their names?"

Duo shrugged. "It's not like I'm going to meet them again. Why bother?"

"Duo," Quatre began a little uncertainly. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what?" Dou was truly confused.

"Punishing yourself," Quatre clarified sadly.

The other man flinched as if slapped. "Your pot of something's burning, Quat," he motioned to the bubbling pot, changing the subject.

Quatre squeaked, his attention focused on their dinner once more. When he was sure they didn't need to call take out, or at least his cooks to come and kept them fed, he turned to Duo once more, who immediately busied himself with gathering plates and cutlery to set the kitchen table. The blond sighed, taking that as a signal that the conversation was over.

A tall auburn hair man walked into the kitchen, sniffing at the air. "Hmm, little one, smells…." He groped for a proper descriptive that won't ensure he had to eat the whole pot himself if it turned out… not so successful. "Interesting," he finished lamely, walking over and claiming a quick kiss from his partner before turning to Duo. "What did he put inside this time?" He whispered as he passed the braided man.

Duo shook his head. "Didn't see, don't really want to know," he stage whispered back. "Won't kill us I think, maimed pretty badly, possibly."

"Trowa Barton! Duo Maxwell!" Quatre pouted at the impertinent two. "Is he here yet?" He flicked his eyes towards Duo and back again.

Trowa nodded. "He's in the living room, fuming a little. Apparently, he wanted to bring a date tonight," he stopped, sparing Duo a look when he noticed the smaller man flashing him a smile that said 'I told you this wouldn't work, so stop now, you interfering idiots'.

"How could he be so insensitive?" Quatre raged, feeling affronted on Duo's behalf, since his friend was too delighted to be affronted.

Duo smiled brightly. "Hey, Tro, I like him already. Introduce me to the man; I'll think we will get along just fine."

Trowa quirked a smile and hurried to placate his ranting husband. "Little one, he's been under a lot of stress lately. This guy that he's been going after has been playing hard to get and it's driving him out of his mind. Apparently, he wanted to introduce him to us tonight, but got shot down pretty bad. He's upset enough as it is. He doesn't need you to lay on the guilt trip, love," he warned.

Duo, only half listening as he set the table wondered why it seemed so familiar.

"Well," Quatre said, reluctantly. "He should have at least told us about his plans. I mean, I did get him a date tonight, you know."

"Your friend sounds like he has problems, Tro," Duo joined in.

Trowa sighed. "You don't know the half of it. He is wondering how to gently get out of an engagement without his father lopping of his head."

"He's engaged? With a woman?" Duo guessed and at Trowa's nod, he laughed. Guy #14 absolutely takes the cake in terms of being the most screwed up blind date the couple could set him up with. He picked up his soda, taking a long swallow.

Quatre chuckled softly. "Well, in his own words, being engaged to Relena Peacecraft is enough to make anyone gay."

The mouthful of soda Duo took came spewing out, nearing drenching both his friends in a cola shower. "Who?" This was not happening. Maybe Relena Peacecraft got herself engaged to another homosexual man, Duo hoped, feeling a little panicked.

Brian, damned his intangible butt was rolling on the floor, sides splitting with laughter. Fates, Duo my man, Fates. You can't run and you can't hide. So don't even lie to yourself.

Appears you can't even say goodbye, Duo grouched.

His friends were looking at him oddly. "Relena Peacecraft," Trowa explained. "From the Peacecrafts of Sanq, old and royal."

"Royal pain in the asses," Duo muttered and Quatre caught that.

"You know her?" Quatre asked.

Duo was saved from answering when a forlorn tone came wafting into the kitchen. "Trowa, I don't think I want to meet this friend of yours. I'm just going to go home and call… Max?!" Heero stood at the doorway, cobalt eyes bugging at the sight of the photographer standing in the middle of Winner household.

Trowa burst out laughing. "You didn't tell me his name was Max." Quatre was nearly convulsing with laughter, dinner completely abandoned.

Oh well, take out it is, Duo thought idly.

"What are you doing here?" Heero still had some problems controlling his jaw.

Trowa stepped forward. "Mr Heero Yuy, may I introduce you to Mr Duo Maxwell, apparently known to you as Max from Max Studios."

 The information was absorbed slowly and Duo could almost see when realisation rose and acceptance sank in. A slow smile started to form on Heero's well formed lips as he walked towards Duo, his hand extended. "Nice to meet you… Duo."

The words, the tone caressed Duo right down to his feet. "So, Relena turned you gay, huh?" He put in inanely, for want of a better thing to say.

Heero blushed. "Let's not talk about it tonight all right?"

Duo nodded. "But we will be talking about it later." He sighed, knowing he was lost. How was someone to fight fate?

Very poorly, Brian suggested and Duo could only agree.

"We will," Heero promised, leaning in closer. "After all we have a movie to catch."

"You do?" Quatre asked. Duo noted with some irritation that his blond friend was vastly amused at the whole scene.

"It's our second date!" Heero announced, fairly bouncing on his feet.

Bouncing? Duo knew he had too much caffeine. He was hallucinating. What a minute! "Who said anything about a second date?"

"Where's date number one?" Quatre had a look on his face that didn't bode well for Duo. Knowing his friend, he would be on the phone all night describing the entire first dinner to him. "Oh NO!" He cried, realising dinner had been burnt.

Trowa and Duo exchanged twin looks of relief. At least their stomachs wouldn't be tortured tonight.

"Shall I or will you?" Trowa lifted an auburn brow at Duo. That was their classic signal to call for help, i.e., the cooks of the Winner household.

As a group of relieved servants came trooping into the kitchen to chase their sulking Master Quatre out, Duo unobtrusively grabbed Heero's arm. "I'm not a tease," he stressed. "And we will be speaking of this later."

Heero nodded seriously. There were many things to explain later.

But that was later, right now; they had a second date to enjoy.

tbc…

Hey, even lame chappies need gratification. Help, I'm in a slump!