Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, deathfic

Finding Heaven

Part Six: Ultimatums are such fragile things

Sally, bless her mothering soul, had insisted Duo stay for dinner, despite protests that he needed to go back to work. In deference to their guests, the couple had prepared something other than the weird unpalatable vegetarian meals Wufei ate. After saying their goodbye and extracting a promise that the couple must show up at the next dinner Quatre and Trowa organised, Duo left the apartment.

The old neighbourhood was bit quiet nearing midnight, but Duo knew that was all in the surface. There were activities running through in the dark and silence that involved the seedier side of life. He couldn't believe he had spent almost the entire day there. Wufei was right; the Chinese man's home was Duo's sanctuary, more than his own home was. It was as if Duo was re-establishing all his roots when he was there. Wufei was one of the last things of a past he would rather not remember.

The neighbourhood was relatively safer now than it was back when they were kids. The old gangs had fallen apart when the three of them left, but their reputation still very well known there. Though Wufei's work there had reduced the numbers in the teenage gangs, it was still very much troubled neighbourhood. Normally, no one would be insane enough to take a night stroll in the middle of the night, but Duo Maxwell was not normal. He and his friends had faced the darker side of life on the streets and not only had they survived, they had flourished as well.

Duo wondered why hasn't he received a call from Heero tonight and pulled out his cell phone. He grimaced as he noticed it off.

Must have forgotten to charge the battery, he thought, pulling out the spare and slotting it in before switching it on again. A few seconds later the phone beep and to Duo's laughing horror, there were about fifteen voice mails and another ten text messages. It seemed he was missed. As he ran through his messages, the smile faded as pain assailed him. Not physical pain, something much worse, pure unadulterated heartache. Heero had left one terse text message telling him that his bags with Trowa because he didn't have to pleasure of knowing the braided man lived. The rest had been frantic messages left by a worried Quatre. He would have to call the blond up, but not now, not for a long while.

Duo tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat and could stop a lone tear from trailing down his porcelain cheeks.

Damn, he brushed the tear away, boys don't cry.

"Aw, what do we have here?" A voice drawled from behind him, bringing his attention to the immediate danger. "Little baby, cryin'?"

Duo cursed virulently, he had let his guard down. He had broken the number one rule in the neighbourhood. He didn't even hear the guy coming up from behind him, the guy and his two friends. He turned and faced them, schooling his expression into one of nonchalance. Stay calm, he told himself. He could handle them. He was no longer twelve and alone, and he had all of Wufei's training.

"What do you want, boys?" Duo stressed the last word. Personally, he was in no mood to play and these idiots were staring Death in the face and didn't know it. And it was true, they were hardly more than boys, the eldest was probably sixteen and seemed desperate to make a mark for himself.

The 'leader' flinched at the insult. His eyes narrowed and his voice turned menacing. He stepped forward, pulling out a long gleaming knife. "No one insults me and gets away with it," he caresses the knife like a lover, before bringing up to his lips to kiss it lovingly.

Duo nearly choked. That had been Shinigami's signature move, his signature move. His first emotion was annoyance. Just who was this kid, or gaki, his old buddy Shido would have called him, think he was?

"What does that mean, Shido?" A ten year old Duo asked his Japanese friend.

Shido reached down to ruffle the chestnut locks affectionately. "It means brat, baka Shinigami."

"Huh?" Duo looked up at the taller man with adoration in his eyes. It was at odds with the vicious reputation the boy had managed to garner for himself with his deadly knife.

"Baka means idiot, and Shinigami is what I have decided you should be named, from now on." Shido's dark eyes glinted proudly. "God of Death."

And the name stuck.

"What are you smiling about?" The boy demanded, truly incensed now and emboldened by the fact that he had friends to back him up while the seemingly effeminate looking man was all alone. "I'll wipe that smile off your face if it is the last thing I do," he promised, lunging at the unarmed man with the knife.

Duo grabbed the man's arm, twisting it easily and within seconds, hand the boy in a vice and the knife point at his throat. "Do not play when you don't know who your opponents are, boy," he whispered the old warning Shinigami always gave. His hand itched. This was familiar, this darkness, the knife, the quivering body beneath his had. This was comfort.

"Duo!" Wufei barked an order. "Let him go!"

Shinigami turned to face the Dragon, violet eyes darkened with bloodlust.

"Duo," Wufei coaxed softly recognising exactly who faced him. "Let the boy go."

Dou blinked, coming back to himself abruptly. Realising what he almost did, he released both boy and knife in an instant, backing away in horror. What had he almost done? His knees felt weak and rubbery as he fell against Wufei, who had rushed to his friend's side.

"Shi… Shinigami," the boys were blubbering, realising exactly who faced them.

"Don't look back, and don't come back boys," Wufei warned.

The one Duo had cornered turned and shot the shaking man a look of pure malice before disappearing into the night.

"You be careful of that one," Wufei advised Duo, who seemed to have withdrawn deep into himself. "Duo?" He shook his friend slightly.

"'Fei," Duo cried, anguished etched into every line on his handsome face. "I almost killed him. I wanted to. What's wrong with me?" He tears he so valiantly tried to hold back came streaming down his cheeks, and he buried his face into Wufei's chest.

On that dark street in the middle of one of the most notorious neighbourhood in town, Wufei held onto his old friend and let him weep his heart out. Wufei's onyx orbs shimmered in pain knowing the kind of childhood his friend went through. Although they had left the neighbourhood, there were still traces of it left in them, and tonight was a good example. They could take Shinigami out of the streets, but they could never take Shinigami out of the boy. The body in Wufei's arms had stilled a long time ago, but Duo remained there, letting Wufei shelter him like he always did when they were children.

"Better?" Wufei asked softly.

Duo nodded.

"Do you want to stay with us tonight?" Wufei offered. He always had a room in his apartment for the braided man that was the brother of his soul.

Duo took a deep cleansing breath. "No," he shook his head, and then forced a smile. "Quatre has already left about a hundred messages. If I don't get back to them, he'll get upset and Trowa will disembowel me with a wooden spoon."

Wufei offered to drive him to Quatre's and was glad that Duo didn't refuse the offer. The Chinese man guessed Duo was too emotionally drained to put up too much of a fight right now. They sat in silence, with Duo staring out blankly out of the window, his mind a blissful blank. Even Brian seemed subdued and far, far away. They reached Quatre's in a surprising short time, or at least it seemed like it was to Duo, whose mind was still in a state of shock at the moment.

"Thanks, 'Fei," Duo muttered, getting out of the car, just as a frantic Quatre flew out of the house with his bodyguard, the huge Rashid in tow. Trowa, thankfully, was no where to be seen. Duo didn't think he could face Trowa tonight.

"Duo," Wufei said, quietly. "I don't think you should come visit us after dark."

Duo flinched but realised there was some truth in what Wufei was saying. He was still too tuned to the darkness within him to be able to handle the night life at the neighbourhood. He nodded in agreement.

"Wufei?" Quatre called out. "Damn, I forgot to try calling you." He gave Duo a long look and exchanged another one with Wufei who shook his head silently, warning the blond not to ask any unwanted questions. "Thanks for dropping him off." He curled his arm around the smaller man and gently led him into the house.

Duo remembered waving to Wufei as he pulled out of the massive driveway before being hustled into the living to deal with Quatre in full mother hen mode.  By that time, Duo was almost back to his normal self, burying the night's pain behind his usual flippant smile.

"Hey, Quat, ease up already. It's not like I died or something," Duo inwardly winced. Technically speaking, Duo did almost die tonight, Shinigami almost making a full resurrection on that dark street. "Where's your lovely husband?"

Quatre was forced to sit when Duo snagged him with one wiry arm to the seat next to the long haired man. "Out ripping Heero Yuy a new one."

The name brought a fresh surge of pain. "Why?" Duo managed to modulate an even tone.

"He dropped off your bags and told us to tell you to call him when you stop being childish," Quatre was turning an alarming shade of purple. "I knew what he did. How could he?"

Duo shrugged. "Well, you can't blame him for having his priorities straight, Quat man."

"You let him get you too easily," Quatre continued his lecture. "You should have made him beg more." And this was coming from a man who jumped into bed with his partner two hours after meeting him.

Duo was choking with laughter.

Well, I wonder how much harder to get do you have to play? Brian wondered idly, whistling tunelessly.

Where were you when I needed you? Where was his subconscious when Duo needed him? Needed him to remind Duo he was no longer Shinigami.

Running for my freaking life. Shini is truly one scary bastard.

"What are you going to do, Duo?" Quatre wanted to know.

"About Heero?" Duo clarified.

"No, about your acne problem. Of course about Heero," Quatre said, exasperated. His friend could be extremely stubborn when he put his mind to it, and with Duo, he put his mind to it a lot. "He can't it both ways, Duo. You have been patient enough with him these past weeks."

Duo nodded, really not wanting to speak of this. "I know."

"He's not being fair to you."

"I know."

"He is being such an asshole about all of this. And to come and meet you today on as Relena's messenger boy," Quatre continued his rambling.

"I know."

"Are you even listening?"

Duo sighed. It was too late and he was just so tired. "Quat, I know what I need to do. Can I crash here tonight?"

Apparently the answer was a delightful yes and in record time, Duo was tucked up in one of the many rooms in the Winner mansion. No wanting to think of how sucky the day had been, Duo just gave into his body's command and slept.

Morning came soon enough. He felt a resolve, know what he had to do with Heero. He had been serious when he told Wufei that he would be giving Heero an ultimatum and he would be delivering it to him today. It was still early and the entire household was pretty much still asleep. He wandered into the foyer and found Rashid. He asked for a loan of a car and was thrown a set of keys with an affectionate warning of wanting it back in one piece.

"I don't drive all that badly, Rashid," Duo answered, feeling a little stung.

Rashid smiled. "I've seen you drive, Mr Maxwell, don't tell me how you drive."

Duo pulled out of the house and speeded along towards Heero's apartment. He locked the car and entered the building. Security was familiar enough with his coming and going not to question his presence at seven thirty in the morning. He punched Heero's floor and relaxed against the side of the elevator, his mind going through the speech he wanted to deliver. The elevator doors opened at Heero's floor with a soft ding. Duo felt his hand grow clammy with nervousness. It would be the right thing to do. Even if he lost Heero, it would be the correct thing to do. Heero could no longer play both sides and have everything. Duo can't only be the one to be sacrificing. Not anymore.

The walk from the elevator to Heero's apartment seemed a mile long and it took forever. But all too soon, Duo found himself standing in front of the oak door, his finger hovering over the bell.

I can do this, I can do this; Duo repeated the litany over and over. Taking a deep breath, Duo rang the bell.

Long moments passed and he heard Heero rush to the door, pulling it open. He looked wonderful. His chocolate mop was still as messy as ever and his bronze skin was perfectly set off in the pure whiteness of the robe he wore.

"Duo," Heero's cobalt eyes widened in surprise. There was something else behind it. Panic? Or something else. "What are you doing here?" Yes, it was definitely  panic.

"I have decided to stop being childish," Duo quoted, smiling lightly.

"You should have called first," Heero looked distinctively unhappy and extremely uncomfortable.

Damned alarm started ringing in Duo's head, loudly. "You have company." It wasn't a question.

Heero couldn't meet the accusation in Duo's eyes. "You should have called first," he repeated.

"And that would change things how?" Duo asked evenly. There was no need for ultimatums today. "I know it is none of my business, but who?" He refused to blame himself. If needed sexual gratification that badly, this was not the relationship Duo needed. Now or ever.

"Heero, darling, who is it?" A shrill, familiar feminine voice filtered through the house.

Relena? Duo mouthed, feeling like he was just sucker punched. The boy within screamed for him to run, run and never come back, never look back. This was happening all over again, how could it be happening again? Why was this happening to him?

"Go back to bed, Relena," Heero called out, closing the door behind him as he stepped into the hall with Duo.

"So," Duo was at a loss of words.

Heero leaned heavily against the heavy door. "Duo, that… It's…"

"I don't want to know," Duo interrupted. "What you do with your fiancée is your affair." He stressed the word carefully. "Heero, this isn't working."

Heero clamped his hands on Duo's shoulders, bringing the man close to him. "Don't say that, don't ever say that. I waited for you to come home. You never did. I thought you wouldn't come back anymore. I thought I lost you," he choked out, pulling Duo into a tight hug. "I got drunk, and Relena came over and one thing led to another and…." He trailed off.

Duo remained unresponsive in the other man's embrace, feeling the stone that had replaced the place in his heart. He felt pleasantly numb, but that would change soon he knew. "So it is my fault?"

"No," Heero pulled back, his gaze boring into Duo's. There was naked pain in the cobalt depths. "I never meant that, I…"

"I came here with an ultimatum. I realised that I would only be fully committed to this relationship if you ended it with Relena. To let me feel that I am truly yours." His voice was empty, void of any emotion. "Now I see it is no longer needed."

"What do you mean?" Heero whispered, raw with pain.

"You clearly can't let go of her, and I don't want to get in between you and your duty," Duo continued to speak mechanically.

Heero reached out for Duo who had backed away to a safe distance, out of his arms. The long haired man clearly didn't want to be touched. "Duo, I…" He was cut off by Duo lifting his hand to stop further excuses.

"What I meant say is," Duo sighed. "Heero, it's over."

tbc…

Duo: What do you mean it is over? I didn't even get any.

Tsu: Hey, I ran out of things to write. Reviews multiply my grey matter.

Duo: And apparently you have none at the moment.

Tsu: Hey!

Duo: You heard the woman. I'm a frustrated homosexual who didn't even get any yet. Review so I can get some.

Heero: What he said.