Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, deathfic

Finding Heaven

Part Seven: Grovelling is so attractive

"What I meant to say is," Duo sighed. "Heero, it's over."

A hot mug of coffee slipped from Heero's hand shattering on the floor of his kitchen, splattering coffee stains over his slacks.

Heero cursed softly, grabbing a handful of paper towels and began cleaning the mess up. He sighed for the umpteenth time that morning, wishing he had never gotten up from bed. He had feeling like that for a while now, and if this persists, he might need to start buying Styrofoam cups to drink from. It would be much cheaper, seeing that this was the eighth mug that met its untimely demise over the last two weeks.

Two weeks of pure hell. Two weeks since Duo had broken up with him. Reflectively, he couldn't have broken up with Heero because they were never were in a relationship, were they?

Were they? Heero asked himself. He paused in the act of wiping the coffee off the floor, his blue eyes far, far away.  Duo had asked him a question that the man never gave Heero a proper answer to: What constitute as a relationship? Sex, going out, time together, kissing, holding hands, a future together, and sex? Since they never had sex, they were never together right? Right?

All those questions and Heero was met with utter silence. No one answered him, not Duo, not even himself.

Right? He was screaming at himself. The bubble of guilt buried under self righteousness and faked nonchalance threatened to explode.

Heero sat back on his heels, his mind going back to that morning when Duo had caught him and Relena. He had seen the accusation and anguish in those violet eyes, but it was more than that, it was as if some long forgotten nightmare had come out from deep within the handsome young man and ate at him. Then he had seen the light, the life fade slowly out of the exquisite violet eyes. The Duo that spoke after that was nothing more than a puppet, a dim shadow of the vivacious young man that had graced Heero's home so many times during the weeks they had spent together. A faint smile shaped Heero's generous lips as he thought of the oft times silly things Duo thought up for them to do. Playing prank calls to the neighbours, spying at the people in the building across and making up conversations for them. They seemed childish to Heero at the time, thinking there much better things he could have done to the sexy man next to him but now, thinking back, they were part and parcel of who Duo Maxwell really was, the irreverent boy. Then there were times when Heero thought he saw the real  Duo Maxwell, the man who had the dangerous eyes and the serious demeanour. The one who scared the hell out of Heero, and excited him as well.

But what disturbed him was the look in Duo's eyes. After realising who had shared his bed with him, Duo seemed to have disappeared. Heero's patient explanations on why he did it didn't even touch the man. The braided young man simply disappeared into himself. And that hurt Heero more than if Duo had screamed and ranted at him.

He had tried to call the man but was either brushed off rudely by his assistant, the dark haired waif he saw at Max Studios or Duo would just hang up at the first sound of his voice. He was afraid to approach Trowa for help, knowing how close Quatre was to Duo. Undoubtedly, the blond would be pissed as hell with Heero and knowing how protective Trowa was of his husband, would offer to cleave Heero in half if it meant Quatre's pleasure. In a fit of frustration, he had cornered Duo last night as he was closing up his office.

"Damn it, Duo. Are you just going to keep avoiding me?" Heero demanded, startling the braided man who had been locking up the main door, his slender back to Heero.

Duo spun around, eyes wide with shock. Heero saw something flash through those once expressive eyes. Joy and then the light died again. "What can I do for you, Heero?" He asked evenly, trying to walk around the other man.

Heero made a grab for Duo's arm. "What is your problem? Why can't we talk about this?"

"What's there to talk about, Heero?" Duo asked, dully, staring at the bronze hand encircling his upper arm.

The other man was taken aback. This apathy was not normal to Duo. The last time Heero had grabbed his arm like that in anger after one of their many fights, the Japanese man found himself flat on his back, with an irate but slightly frightened Duo looming over him. Heero learned never to touch Duo in anger like that again or risk his own life. It hadn't been Duo behind those eyes that time, but something more deadly. It was also something they never spoke of again, which only fuelled his frustration about the secrecy of Duo's past. He felt he had told the smaller man everything about himself, and yet Heero knew nothing of Duo past Quatre and Trowa.

"I explained about Relena, it was a mistake," Heero forged on.

Duo twisted slightly, releasing his arm from Heero's grasp. "It was a mistake once and it can be a mistake again. It doesn't matter, Heero. I understand."

"No you don't understand," Heero wanted so much to scream at Duo, to make him understand his position, but they were in the middle of a very posh street and Heero had a reputation to maintain. "When I was with her, I wanted desperately for it to be you. She means nothing to me, Duo, nothing."

Duo shook his head sadly, his eyes still alarmingly blank. "So, it is still my fault, isn't it? You still blame me for not wanting to sleep with you."

Hissing with frustration, Heero raked a careless hand through his messy bangs. "No… hell, yes, I do blame you." The tension he had been feeling burst out and he took it out on the only person available. "We could have had so much together. Instead, you decided you wanted to take the position of the prissy virgin and wait. For God's sake, Duo, we are both men. And adults. Stop being a tease."

Anger flashed in violet depths, giving Duo for once, since Heero saw him, a semblance of life. "Mr Heero Yuy, let me ask you one question. What constitutes as a relationship?"

Heero gaped at Duo, speechless. His mind ran all ways but ended up as blank as an empty slate.

Duo nodded with apparent satisfaction at watching Heero squirm. "When you have an answer to that, then you come and speak to me." He turned on his heels striding away quickly, hoping to escape before Heero snapped out of it. He just wasn't quick enough.

"Don't," Heero said, hoarsely, embracing Duo from behind. "You know how important you are to me, Duo. Don't do this."

Duo wriggled slightly and was caught between pleasure and disappointment when Heero let go. "Do I?" He laughed mirthlessly. "Most of the time I feel as if the only thing you want from me if a quick roll in between the sheets."

"I love you," Heero told him, hoping some of the emotion he felt could be transmitted by the other man.

"Don't mistake love for lust, Heero. Don't hurt me like that."

"I don't even know what is hurting you!!!" Heero blurted. "You don't tell me anything. I don't have enough information to know what the hell I did wrong."

Duo shrugged. "That information is irrelevant."

"No, you are hiding things from me." Heero reached out and took Duo's hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb.

The other man remained stubbornly silent but his eyes fastened on their clasped hands. "You cheated on me."

"How can I cheat on you when we haven't started anything?" Heero said a little petulantly.

Duo's jaw fell slack. "I was with you for six weeks before this. And you said…" His face fell, bringing hurt filled eyes to meet Heero's. "I have the answer to my earlier question. It is sex. We have nothing more to talk about." He tried pulling his hand away, but Heero held on tight.

"What?" Heero asked confused. What constitutes as a relationship? Oh no. "No, that's not what I…" He cut off abruptly, hearing someone walking towards them. He shook off Duo's hand like it was on fire and stepped back, schooling his face into a somewhat casual expression. When the person walked past and disappeared around the corner, he turned back towards Duo.

The other man seemed to be even more hurt than before and he seemed to be staring at his hand. The one Heero had been holding. "You're ashamed of me," Duo whispered, looking at Heero with raw anguish written on every line of his face.

Heero started shaking his head. "No, I…"

"You didn't want that man to see us," Duo said, dazely. "You're afraid of what he thought of us."

"What we do is our business, Duo. We don't need a witness," Heero tried desperately to explain but knew it was useless.

"You're ashamed of me," Duo shrank away when Heero tried to come closer. Shaking his head at Heero, then turned and ran.

Heero buried his aching head in his hands, remembering the night where everything turned out horribly. If he thought he still had a chance with Duo, last night had effectively ruined whatever miniscule opportunity left for them. How could he screw up so badly? All he wanted was Duo back with him.

Unfortunately, Duo was right on a few counts. He was uncomfortable with people finding out he was homosexual. Dancing with another man in a crowded club was fine, no one paid it a moment's notice, but arguing and making up on the sidewalk wasn't all that subtle. But that doesn't mean he was ashamed of Duo, in fact, he was extremely proud of him. Heero knew he needed help. There were things that Duo kept from him that impaired him from making a proper course of action. And in all business deals, lack of information was the downfall of any negotiations. Yes, that was it. He didn't understand relationships all that well, but he knew what to do to secure a deal.

And Duo was one deal he intended to secure.

Step one: Gather information.

Step two: Grovel at feet of said 'deal' and apologise like hell, once he knew what to apologise for.

Step three: To be decided if Step One and Two can be accomplished.

To get to Step one, Heero would have to brush up on his grovelling skills in preparation for Step Two. He picked up his phone and dialled Trowa Barton's personal number.

~*~

Heero was still quite embarrassed by the day he had so far. He had been dictating a letter to his secretary and lost his train of thought twice. He stared out of his twenty-fifth floor office window staring into space while his secretary continued to stare expectantly at him. In a fit of indecision, he had actually cleared his throat to get his boss's attention, to which he was asked to take the day off if he had strep throat. The moment lunch hour rolled along, Heero had sprinted out of the office like a bat out of hell and headed towards Winner Industries a few building blocks from where he was.

After much wheedling, Trowa had agreed to meet with him; but even over the phone, the other man's voice could cause hell to freeze over. It had been Trowa's condition that his blond husband be at the meeting as well. No matter how much Heero wanted it to be otherwise, he was willing to accept any conditions provided Duo would be returned to him.

He was shown into Quatre Winner's personal office. It looked very much like his own, with windows surrounding all sides. There was a couch that looked suspiciously like a sofa bed and a smile played about his lips, imagining the normally prim Quatre pinning Trowa to it. Normally prim at the conference table that was.

"Mr Winner and Mr Barton will be in soon, Mr Lowe. Would you like a drink while you wait?" Quatre's secretary asked pleasantly.

Heero shook his head and was left alone. This was the first time he had seen the inside of Quatre's office, having been in Trowa's more often. They had met when Trowa was hired to head up the mergers and acquisitions team a few years back and cupid's arrow had struck. Heero had teased Trowa mercilessly about sleeping with the boss. A small section of framed photographs caught Heero's eye and he got up from the plush couch, heading in that direction. There were about ten pictures in that showcase. Most of them were of Trowa and Quatre, some of which taken at their wedding. Heero had been out of the country and hadn't made an appearance. He wondered idly what would have happened if he had and met Duo there. He smiled at one candid shot where Duo had made horns behind Trowa, grinning like a kid. There were other pictures of the three of them as well, and in every one of them, Duo was either annoying Trowa with pranks or throwing his arms around the blond.

Duo always loved a hug.

Another frame caught his eye. It was tucked in the corner, lying face down. Curious, he picked it up and stared. He was unable to stop the jealousy that swamped him unexpectedly. It was a picture of two couples. Trowa and Quatre he recognised. Duo was there as well and… someone else. It appeared to be of a picnic and taken when the four were unaware. Quatre was feeding Trowa something, and Trowa was smiling affectionately at him.

The other two…

The picture was of Duo's profile and he appeared to be smiling tenderly at the man who had his head in his lap. One hand was in the midst of stroking the other man's forehead. He felt somehow cheated, that Duo would gift that man the smile Heero wanted so desperately from him. It was a sort of sated smile one would spare for a lover after a long night of passion and one he had never had from Duo. He turned his attention to the man. He was, if Heero admitted it, as stunning as Duo was, with strawberry blond hair. He was returning the same annoying, sappy smile that Duo was giving him and was reaching up to touch Duo's face. It appeared to be a picture of domestic bliss and it gnawed at Heero viciously.

Why would Duo give this man something and was unwilling to do the same for Heero? What was so special about this man and why was it so different with Heero? The unfairness of it all made him angry.

"That's Solo," Quatre's quiet voice came from behind him.

Startled, Heero dropped the picture and it fell with a muffled thud on the carpeted floor. He raised cobalt eyes to meet frozen aqua and fiery green. "Who?"

Trowa motioned for him to sit and he joined his partner opposite the couch. "The man that ripped Duo's heart out."

Icy cold claws of excitement raked Heero's insides. Finally, he was going to get answers.

"And you are just like him," Quatre accused.

"How?" Heero blurted.

"Solo cheated on him, just like you did."

Heero's jaw worked convulsively. "Tell me."

It was a very simple and predictable story. Solo was Duo's childhood friend, someone who the long haired man trusted implicitly. Duo thought he could have forever and found Solo wrapped in another man's arms one day. And that was it. It had been six months since the break up and for the first time since then Duo was interested in giving relationships another try, Heero blew his chances sky high. There was more to it, judging by the controlled expression on both of his friend's faces, but for Heero, it was enough information for now.

An hour later, a very subdued Heero left Winner Industries with a new game plan in mind. If he had known… But it was no use berating himself now, what was done was done. Now he needed to put Step Two into action.

He now had a bigger concern. How did one go about winning Duo Maxwell?

tbc…

Shall it go on?