Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing or its characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi), major A.U, some OOC I think, deathfic

Finding Heaven

Part Eighteen: Talks with Wufei

"Where are you going to go?" Wufei asked, watching Duo pack his bags. He long ago accepted the fact his little brother was going let himself fade. He didn't like it, but since kicking Duo's ass wasn't an option, there was little he could actually do.

Duo smiled, burying all his hurt and his pain. He decided to make the most of whatever time he had left, which according to Dr Wesley was anywhere between two to four years depending on the progression of his disease. He stared at the small card that came in the mail last week. True to her word, Relena Peacecraft had indeed decided to rub his nose in the fact that he was nothing but Heero's toy. It had been too much for him to take. He had sold off his business and compensated Hilde handsomely, who had sobbed at the news. Then he purchased a nice little plot of land and a pretty handsome looking final resting place and put it in Wufei's care, telling him it was for 'when the time came'. The Chinese man almost knocked his lights out. Duo then had given most of his savings to a couple of orphanages and other charities.

"What use do I have for money?" He explained to a sobbing Sally and a stony faced Wufei.

Now he was off to places unknown. He didn't want to stay where he would probably bump into Heero or Quatre or Trowa or anyone else. He had enough of hurting the people he cared most about.

"I don't know," Duo answered Wufei's earlier question. "I'm just going to where things take me. Don't worry, I'll keep in touch."

Wufei could only stare as his brother walked out of his life, probably forever.

For weeks after, Sally was almost inconsolable. As a physician herself, she couldn't understand why someone wouldn't grab onto life. The Chinese man received letters and emails from Duo, telling them he was off in this country or the other. He seemed to be having a time of his life but Wufei knew better. He couldn't do anything about it and was glad when Heero's wedding rolled by and Duo wasn't there to hear about it. Wufei knew it would have shattered the already fractured man. Duo had already cut off two of the most important people in his life, he didn't need to know

Eight months after Heero wedding, Wufei got a rather rude visit from Trowa Barton. He had just come back from the community centre only to find the tall auburn man standing outside his door with a box in his hands.

"This is Maxwell's, he left it there the times he sponged off us," Trowa stated hostilely.

That had been the last straw. That was the first time in years Wufei nearly reverted back to being the leader of the Dragon Clan. If Sally hadn't come up to the apartment when she did, Trowa Barton would have landed up in the city morgue and her husband behind bars. As it was, auburn haired man had bruises to nurse for days. Wufei had gave Trowa an abbreviated version of Duo's story and a very contrite man left the apartment, only to be dragged back to it by a tearful blond husband.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us?" Quatre accused after several failed attempts of finding out Duo's exact whereabouts.

Wufei had kept silent but Sally spoke enough for both of them. "It was his… final wish," she choked on the last word. "I'm not going to keep a promise I made to him."

Then the Chinese man had thrown them both of their home, disgusted that the couple had so easily believed a poor liar like Duo. It was his opinion that the couple wanted to believe it and they did.

Communication with Duo continued. Letters, emails, phone calls, they kept coming, but Wufei could almost see his friend's health failing. Everything got shorter and although the devil may care was still there, it seemed muted somehow. Many times Wufei had asked Duo to come back and let Sally and him care for the sick man, but damn Duo's independent attitude, refused to be a burden to anyone.

Then one day, long after the Winner-Barton episode, Heero Yuy Lowe showed up at Wufei's door.

~*~

Wufei smiled at the latest picture Duo send back. It was one of him back packing across Europe. He was in Greece at the moment. The smile faded as he noticed the pallor and the apparent weight loss on his friend. Wufei had a collection of such pictures, each of them telling him the progression of Duo's disease. He toyed, once again, with the idea of coaxing the man to get some medical help, but it was apparent he was going to be stubborn about it anyway. The ringing of the bell brought Wufei out of sad thoughts. After he pinned the picture up with the rest of them, he went answered the door.

He jaw worked silently as he realised who exactly it was outside his door.

"What the hell do you want, Mr Lowe?" Wufei bit out; his hands clenched with the effort of not tearing the man apart.

Heero didn't look that good. He had lost weight and had deep bruises underneath his eyes. The once piercing blue eyes looked lost and alarmingly blank. "I can't find Duo," he muttered plaintively, the pleading obvious in his entire body.

Wufei, though still pissed as hell, felt himself moved by the depth of pain written all over Heero's features. He recognised that look. Duo was wearing it when he left a year and a half ago. That and the longing. "He doesn't want you to find him. You and everyone else," he told Heero firmly, pleased that it came out strong and clear, and not in a rant like he felt at the moment.

"I just need his email address. He changed it. He sold his house, his studio, everything. Please," Heero begged, dignity be damned. "I just want to… speak… see… I want to know he's okay," he managed finally, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked about to burst into tears. And that was a first for Wufei. The proud Heero Yuy Lowe almost reduced to tears by his little brother.

"You should have thought of that before you crushed his spirit, you asshole," Wufei gave up on keeping his tone levelled. He wanted to kick Heero ass that day at the hospital and if eighteen months later he was given this opportunity, by hell he would take it.

"I was saving his freaking life!" Heero yelled, matching the Chinese temper for temper.

That caught Wufei completely off guard as he modulated his tone. "Explain."

Heero seemed caught. "If I do… would you tell me where Duo is?" His gaze lit with inner fire again at the mere thought of seeing the familiar form of the braided man.

"This is not a negotiation. You explain and then I'll decide if I want to tell you." Wufei knew he sounded like a petulant child, but he just couldn't get the pain on Duo's expression when he walked out his door. He moved aside and motioned for Heero to come in.

Once they were settled into the couch, Wufei tilted his head slightly, a signal for Heero to start.

Heero looked like he didn't where to begin and in a fit of frustration, raked his fingers through an already messy mop of hair. "I… "He took a deep breath. "I don't love Relena."

Wufei snorted scornfully. "Doesn't matter now, does it? You should have thought it out completely before you married her. I'm not a marriage counsellor. I have no interest in your marital problems."

"It has nothing to do with my marital problems!" Heero almost yelled, and then visibly strove to calm himself. "I didn't love Relena when I married her and…" He stopped Wufei who seemed to want to get an insult in sideways. "Let me finish before you pass judgement. It's true that I was with a lot for the two weeks before I got hurt. My father decided that he had enough of my being with Duo. He couldn't accept that I wanted this for life and I was actually homosexual instead of a poor, bored rich kid looking for some weird fetish in life."

Wufei was astounded. This was the first time he had seen so many words come from the normally silent man.

Heero lowered his voice, pain creeping to write itself all over his handsome face. "I was given an ultimatum, to form an alliance with the Peacecrafts through marriage to get a piece of land in Sanq as Relena's dowry or he would disown me." A sneer twisted Heero's lips. "I laughed at him. I knew he wouldn't cut me off and even if he did, it didn't matter. Duo was all I cared about. I would work at McDonald's if it meant being able to stay with him."

"Then, why…" Wufei trailed off, unable to find a proper sentence. He wanted desperately to hold on to his anger but that damned wistful expression of Heero's face when his mind eye ran through the memories of Duo was making it damned hard to hold on to it.

"When my father realised I intended to leave the company he gave me another ultimatum. Marry the bitch or Duo dies."

Wufei shot up from his seat, incensed. "I will kill that bastard!"

"I felt the same way. He showed me how he had toyed with Duo's life a few times, as a warning and Duo didn't even know he was that close to losing his life. Finally, I snapped. I told him to shove his threats and decided on asking Duo to marry me anyway." Heero's eyes clouded over, his mind delving into memories. "That night, I was going to ask him to marry me. That's what the ring box was for. Then I saw this man going after Dou from behind…."

"And the rest is history," Wufei mocked. He wanted very much to kill someone right now. Duo had thrown his life away. He thought his life ended when Heero broke up with him. Wufei was sure he would fight his illness with tooth and nail if he knew Heero was waiting at the end of a very long and hard road. But instead, Odin Lowe had taken away his very reason for living.

"So, you see, I had to. I did it so Duo could live. I had to promise him I would never see Duo again," Heero whispered, hugging himself.

"So what has changed?"

Heero looked up and brightened. "My father has the land he wants firmly in his name and Relena wants a divorce. Guess she finally realised that she will never attract me in that way. Helps that I keep screaming Duo's name whenever she forces me to have sex with her." He quirked a small grin, but it faded when he saw the most incredulous look on Wufei.

The Chinese man collapsed into the chair and buried his face into his hands. For a moment there, Heero thought he was laughing, but watching Wufei's shoulder shaking, he realised with horror that the other man was crying. For a moment, Heero was shocked but soon a sudden terror gripped him. Only Duo could make Wufei lose control like that, well, Sally as well, but since Sally was completely fine…

"Wufei, where's Duo?" Heero voice came out as a high pitched squeak, but he made his intentions quite clear. His mind was in turmoil. Where was his lover? Had something happened to him? He had to squelch the desire to grab the man by the shoulders and shaking him.

Wufei looked up, tears making tracks down his face. For that one moment, he looked years older and so haunted. So damned haunted. He got up and pulled Heero with him, to his little wall all for Duo. His shrine. Never too early to start one, Wufei thought, then almost gave up to tears again. He studied Heero as he looked through the couple of dozen pictures carefully. The Japanese man was smiling genuinely, delight apparent. Then slowly a frown formed. Wufei had pinned up the pictures based on chronology. There were the earlier ones where Duo was happy and really enjoying his much deserved holiday and then there were the ones he received recently where he could see the forced smile the young man had on. Those were the ones that really hurt. It hurt Wufei that he couldn't be there with his little brother, and his little brother didn't want him there. His mind understood Duo wanted the dignity of control and not letting his friends see him failing and getting hurt by it, but his heart told his mind to go screw himself. His little brother had God knows how long left and he needed to be with him. If only he could find Duo's sorry ass. All the letters had no return address and Wufei guessed Duo purposely did it that way.

"What's wrong with him?" Heero demanded, turning a pallid face to Wufei. His heart rate increased as he stared at the pictures. Duo didn't look well, he looked sick, he looked like… Oh God, he looked like he was dying.

"You married Relena to save his life," Wufei told him tonelessly. "You pushed him out of your life so he could live his. When you did that, he realised he had nothing left to live for. So he didn't go for chemotherapy."

Chemotherapy… The word screamed in Heero's ears. That's what a person needed when he had cancer right? But Duo didn't have cancer, did he? DID HE? His mind screamed but he had no ready answer. "What…" He stopped when his voice failed him. "What do you mean?" He successfully got his voice out on the second try.

"That night, when you got hurt, he was actually going to tell you that he had been diagnosed with bone cancer. Sally found out about it that night as well. She told me. He was going to decide if he wanted to fight it. Then you gave your little speech," that came out bitter. "He decided to crap it and live the rest of his life out the way he wanted it."

Heero could feel his legs shaking, his knees buckling. He fell to the floor before he could stop himself. What the hell had he done? He was killing Duo, he was killing the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world to be safe. "Why didn't you make him?" He whispered; eyes down cast. "Made him save his own damned life. Why?"

From above him, Wufei sighed, slumping over onto the wall. "We argued, yelled, cajoled, threatened and practically did everything humanly possible to make him change his decision. He is the most stubborn asshole ever to walk this Earth."

"I need to find him, tell him, and explain."

"Quatre has been trying for the past few months. I know generally where he is but that's all. He moves around too much."

Heero's head came up. "Quatre and Trowa know about this?"

"They didn't tell you?" Wufei had assumed there was still some kind of communication between them. Then he figured out the couple was probably pissed as hell with Heero as well.

"I guess the whole break up affected my reputation," Heero made a lame attempt at a joke and failed. "What are we going to do?" He asked, looking utterly lost.

Wufei hunkered down in front of him. "The only thing we can… Wait."

 tbc….

I promise, one more. Only one.