SCENE SIX- The Queen of the Night Goes on Vacation and Jack Sparrow Has
Drunken Fun
(CUT TO: Psychedelically colored flowers swirling all over.)
Both Narrators: Pretty flowers, ooh...
(CUT TO: JACK SPARROW and AUDREY in AUDREY's house.)
Narrator 1: Jack Sparrow hallucinated flowers.
Narrator 2: Cause he was drunk.
Narrator 1: On rum.
Narrator 2: Audrey had to leave and go water plants upstairs. (AUDREY leaves.)
Narrator 1: So he ran to Monica's house. (JACK SPARROW runs to MONICA's house. RINI is leaving MONICA's house.)
Rini: Thanks for babysitting me today, Monica.
Monica: No problem, Rini. (RINI leaves. JACK SPARROW enters.)
Jack Sparrow: You baby-sit?
Monica: Rini's mom pays me a lot of money. (making a hasty excuse in case he thinks babysitting is stupid)
Jack Sparrow: You must have a lot of responsibility. (MONICA giggles.) I like that in a girl.
Narrator 2: Monica was still very attracted to Jack Sparrow. And he was drunk. And Audrey wasn't there.
Monica: I love you.
Jack Sparrow: I love you too, um... (it's painfully obvious he doesn't know her name. They get in her Porsche.)
Narrator 1: So they made out in her Porsche.
Narrator 2: Ooh, they're in the Porsche making out.
Narrator 1: Ooh, ah, special.
Narrator 2: But the next day, he had no idea why he was in Monica's Porsche.
Narrator 1: So he went over to Princess Mia, Princess Leia and the Queen of the Night's house. (he goes over to the castle)
Narrator 2: The Queen of the Night was going on vacation to Barbados that day. (THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT gets in her carriage and drives off to Barbados with the PRINCESSES waving good-bye.)
Princess Leia: I'm having fun being the queen.
Princess Mia: Grrr.
Narrator 2: See, Mia thought she was OK with Leia being the queen.
Narrator 1: But she really wasn't.
Narrator 2: (as PRINCESS MIA enters the castle) So she hid in the castle and made evil plans to kill Princess Leia.
Narrator 1: But then Jack Sparrow came along and he decided he wanted to be royalty, so he tried to seduce Princess Leia. (he approaches PRINCESS LEIA, who is playing croquet.)
Jack Sparrow: (to PRINCESS LEIA) Ooh, hi. You're hot.
Narrator 2: Princess Leia was turned on by Jack Sparrow cause she was called hot and that made her happy.
Princess Leia: I think I might like you, Jack Sparrow.
Narrator 2: But Jack Sparrow was just using her to be the king.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah... I like you too. Yeah right.
Princess Leia: (obviously under his charms) Ooh, I love you.
Jack Sparrow: (not believably) I love you too.
Narrator 1: So they made out. (they make out)
Narrator 2: (CUT TO: TZEITEL in the barn milking.) And Tzeitel was in the barn milking.
Narrator 1: As usual.
Narrator 2: What else is new.
Narrator 1: (CUT TO: JACK SPARROW and PRINCESS LEIA in bed.) So Jack Sparrow spent the night at Princess Leia's house and Princess Mia sat outside and was sad.
Narrator 2: She was sad cause there was nowhere else to sit cause there wasn't.
(CUT TO: Psychedelically colored flowers swirling all over.)
Both Narrators: Pretty flowers, ooh...
(CUT TO: JACK SPARROW and AUDREY in AUDREY's house.)
Narrator 1: Jack Sparrow hallucinated flowers.
Narrator 2: Cause he was drunk.
Narrator 1: On rum.
Narrator 2: Audrey had to leave and go water plants upstairs. (AUDREY leaves.)
Narrator 1: So he ran to Monica's house. (JACK SPARROW runs to MONICA's house. RINI is leaving MONICA's house.)
Rini: Thanks for babysitting me today, Monica.
Monica: No problem, Rini. (RINI leaves. JACK SPARROW enters.)
Jack Sparrow: You baby-sit?
Monica: Rini's mom pays me a lot of money. (making a hasty excuse in case he thinks babysitting is stupid)
Jack Sparrow: You must have a lot of responsibility. (MONICA giggles.) I like that in a girl.
Narrator 2: Monica was still very attracted to Jack Sparrow. And he was drunk. And Audrey wasn't there.
Monica: I love you.
Jack Sparrow: I love you too, um... (it's painfully obvious he doesn't know her name. They get in her Porsche.)
Narrator 1: So they made out in her Porsche.
Narrator 2: Ooh, they're in the Porsche making out.
Narrator 1: Ooh, ah, special.
Narrator 2: But the next day, he had no idea why he was in Monica's Porsche.
Narrator 1: So he went over to Princess Mia, Princess Leia and the Queen of the Night's house. (he goes over to the castle)
Narrator 2: The Queen of the Night was going on vacation to Barbados that day. (THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT gets in her carriage and drives off to Barbados with the PRINCESSES waving good-bye.)
Princess Leia: I'm having fun being the queen.
Princess Mia: Grrr.
Narrator 2: See, Mia thought she was OK with Leia being the queen.
Narrator 1: But she really wasn't.
Narrator 2: (as PRINCESS MIA enters the castle) So she hid in the castle and made evil plans to kill Princess Leia.
Narrator 1: But then Jack Sparrow came along and he decided he wanted to be royalty, so he tried to seduce Princess Leia. (he approaches PRINCESS LEIA, who is playing croquet.)
Jack Sparrow: (to PRINCESS LEIA) Ooh, hi. You're hot.
Narrator 2: Princess Leia was turned on by Jack Sparrow cause she was called hot and that made her happy.
Princess Leia: I think I might like you, Jack Sparrow.
Narrator 2: But Jack Sparrow was just using her to be the king.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah... I like you too. Yeah right.
Princess Leia: (obviously under his charms) Ooh, I love you.
Jack Sparrow: (not believably) I love you too.
Narrator 1: So they made out. (they make out)
Narrator 2: (CUT TO: TZEITEL in the barn milking.) And Tzeitel was in the barn milking.
Narrator 1: As usual.
Narrator 2: What else is new.
Narrator 1: (CUT TO: JACK SPARROW and PRINCESS LEIA in bed.) So Jack Sparrow spent the night at Princess Leia's house and Princess Mia sat outside and was sad.
Narrator 2: She was sad cause there was nowhere else to sit cause there wasn't.