SCENE NINE- Jack Sparrow's Deception
(CUT TO: AUDREY in her house. The phone rings.)
Audrey: I'll get that. I have to, since I'm the only one home. Oh well. (picks up the phone) Hello?
Princess Mia: Hello. (over the phone)
Audrey: Who's this?
Princess Mia: (over the phone) Princess Mia. I'm just calling to tell you that I caught Jack Sparrow in bed with Princess Leia.
Audrey: (gasps) That's why he wasn't here last night!
Princess Mia: (over the phone) No, last night he was with Monica. Today he was with Princess Leia.
Audrey: WHAT! No way. (goes to MONICA's house and slaps MONICA repeatedly.)
Narrator 2: Audrey slapped Monica repeatedly.
(AUDREY starts walking and walks past TZEITEL's house.)
Audrey: Tzeitel? Do you know where anyone is?
Tzeitel: No, I've been in the barn milking all day. (AUDREY continues on her way and goes to the castle.)
Audrey: (to PRINCESS MIA, who she sees outside the castle waiting for her with a devious grin) Okay, you said he was having an affair with whom?
Princess Mia: Princess Leia.
Audrey: Oh, I'm so mad I could kill her. (PRINCESS MIA has a devious grin, as mentioned before, and you can tell this is exactly what she wanted to happen)
Narrator 1: But there was security on the castle so she couldn't kill Princess Leia.
Narrator 2: Instead, Audrey slapped Jack Sparrow. (JACK SPARROW appears in the castle courtyard and AUDREY slaps him.)
Jack Sparrow: (drunkenly) I think I might have deserved that one.
Audrey: No kidding. (slaps him again and again and again and again and again... you get my drift.)
Jack Sparrow: What did I do?
Audrey: Oh, you only slept with another girl. (slaps him again)
Jack Sparrow: (drunkenly) Correction, love, I slept with two other girls. (AUDREY slaps him again and again and again.)
Narrator 1: Audrey walked home. (AUDREY walks home)
(CUT TO: PRINCESS LEIA and JACK SPARROW in bed together.)
Narrator 1: Princess Leia and Jack Sparrow were in bed together.
(CUT TO: AUDREY in her house. The phone rings.)
Audrey: I'll get that. I have to, since I'm the only one home. Oh well. (picks up the phone) Hello?
Princess Mia: Hello. (over the phone)
Audrey: Who's this?
Princess Mia: (over the phone) Princess Mia. I'm just calling to tell you that I caught Jack Sparrow in bed with Princess Leia.
Audrey: (gasps) That's why he wasn't here last night!
Princess Mia: (over the phone) No, last night he was with Monica. Today he was with Princess Leia.
Audrey: WHAT! No way. (goes to MONICA's house and slaps MONICA repeatedly.)
Narrator 2: Audrey slapped Monica repeatedly.
(AUDREY starts walking and walks past TZEITEL's house.)
Audrey: Tzeitel? Do you know where anyone is?
Tzeitel: No, I've been in the barn milking all day. (AUDREY continues on her way and goes to the castle.)
Audrey: (to PRINCESS MIA, who she sees outside the castle waiting for her with a devious grin) Okay, you said he was having an affair with whom?
Princess Mia: Princess Leia.
Audrey: Oh, I'm so mad I could kill her. (PRINCESS MIA has a devious grin, as mentioned before, and you can tell this is exactly what she wanted to happen)
Narrator 1: But there was security on the castle so she couldn't kill Princess Leia.
Narrator 2: Instead, Audrey slapped Jack Sparrow. (JACK SPARROW appears in the castle courtyard and AUDREY slaps him.)
Jack Sparrow: (drunkenly) I think I might have deserved that one.
Audrey: No kidding. (slaps him again and again and again and again and again... you get my drift.)
Jack Sparrow: What did I do?
Audrey: Oh, you only slept with another girl. (slaps him again)
Jack Sparrow: (drunkenly) Correction, love, I slept with two other girls. (AUDREY slaps him again and again and again.)
Narrator 1: Audrey walked home. (AUDREY walks home)
(CUT TO: PRINCESS LEIA and JACK SPARROW in bed together.)
Narrator 1: Princess Leia and Jack Sparrow were in bed together.