Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine, blah blah blah, and the song belongs to the wonderful music group called Fountains of Wayne.  I just changed some of the words.

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Hey guys!  Ever heard the song "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne?  This is my first songfic, and it's kinda funny.  Especially if you know the song I'm talking about.  Actually, this chapter won't even be funny at all unless you HAVE heard the specified song.  It's a real song, I swear!  I hope you like it anyway, though! 

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Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
Keladry's mom has got it goin' on

Cleon sighed.  He was bored out of his mind!  He wished he could be anywhere but here, at Fief Sinthya, serving food at the banquet.  He tried to hide a yawn, balancing the water bowl in his other hand.

There was Keladry, serving the next course and chatting politely with Lady Alanna and Lord Raoul.  She was so beautiful.  He sighed again.  She hadn't paid much attention to him since the Midwinter incident.  Sure, they talked like they used to, but she seemed to forget that he ever kissed her. 

His thoughts were interrupted.  "Kennan!  Kennan, Where are you?"

"Master Oakbridge?"  he answered politely.

The master's eyes were red and wild.  He was under a lot of stress.  "Kennan, one of the squires just got sick.  I need for you to take his place."

"Yes sir.  Whom shall I have the honor of serving tonight?"

"The Baron Piers of Mindelan and the Lady Ilane, his wife."

Hmmm, thought Cleon.  Keladry's parents.  He had never met them before.

Keladry, can I come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

He walked over to the table that Master Oakbridge had pointed to.  Almost dropping the plate of food he was holding, he gaped at what he saw.


You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

The Lady Ilane of Mindelan was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.  He hair shone in the soft glow of the candles, and her eyes sparkled with fun and mischief as she chatted and laughed with the couple sitting next to her and her husband.

He walked slowly up to the baron and baroness, his eyes wide with wonder and admiration.  Great Mother and Mithros, he thought.  He snapped out of it for a second to wipe the drool off his face, then looked around to make sure no one saw him.

Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Keladry, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Keladry's mom

 Lady Ilane's conversation stopped briefly as Cleon approached the table.  She was looking at him!  "Hello, my lord, my lady,"  He stuttered.  Cleon winced internally at how stupid he sounded in front of this heavenly angel.  "Would you care for some tomato soup?"

Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
Keladry's mom has got it goin' on

"Why, yes.  Thank you, squire."  Lady Ilane's voice had a lovely, musical tilt to it.  It almost made Cleon's knees give way.  She looked him over, her eyelashes lightly fluttering.  He had never been more nervous in his life.

Cleon moved forward to serve the soup into the bowls already placed on the tables.  He gritted his teeth and prayed that he wouldn't spill it.  Not only was spilling dinner embarrassing, but it brought on severe punishments, and this was one of the most important banquets of the year.


Keladry, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there"

He was almost finished pouring the soup.  He was also watching Lady Ilane conversing and laughing with her husband.  Suddenly he felt something rub his leg from under the table.  Curious, he briefly stopped serving the soup and looked at the baroness.  It was her foot!

 

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

Lady Ilane smiled and winked at him.

 

Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Keladry, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong,
but I'm in love with Keladry's mom

Cleon promptly spilled the soup all over the table.  He turned bright red.  Crap.  Oh, when Master Oakbridge found out, there would be hell to pay.  He stammered an apology and half ran back to the kitchens.

(A few minutes later)  "KENNAN!?  YOU DID WHAT?!?!"

Keladry's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Keladry, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong,
but I'm in love with Keladry's mom

Later that night, before he fell asleep, he smiled to himself.

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Okay, I admit, it was kinda dumb, but I just had to write it after I downloaded the song!  R/R and give me compliments (heehee!J), because I have a lot more funny ideas for random stories like this one. 

Listen, I don't care if anyone flames me or not.  I write these stories just for the fun of writing them, and maybe to brighten someone else's day.  I have a great time writing them!

Oh, and if you have any ideas, please PLEASE put them in your review!  I have ideas but I could always use more!  And sorry if the stuff isn't italicized, I'm learning!  Thanks!