Stuck: Chapter Eight...

Sorry to everyone who was reading this and lost interest because it took me so long to update! I've decided to upload a batch of chapters by way of an apology!

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"I hate this. I hate this so much." Skulduggery looked ready to bolt.

"You're being ridiculous," Valkyrie replied over her dessert. "There's never an excuse for an ego your size, yet the one time we need it, it completely disappears."

"I'm not sure if it's escaped your notice, dearest Valkyrie, but I don't exactly feel like myself right now." He hadn't touched his cheesecake, which was a shame because it was beautiful.

"Are you going to eat that? Because if not I definitely will," she beamed. Skulduggery dropped his head into his hands and groaned. "Will you relax? She's obviously interested in you. As long as you don't freak out it'll be fine."

"I'm already freaking out."

"Well stop it. We have a job to do." He exhaled deeply and nodded, straightening his tie and running a hand through his hair to neaten it.

"We do have a job to do."

"Right now your job is to woo Edith. Who knows? You might even enjoy yourself."

"On a fake date with a woman I have no interest in?" he asked doubtfully.

"Sure," Valkyrie shrugged. "She seems nice enough. Just show her a good time, get what you need, say goodnight and never see her again." She chewed thoughtfully. "Unless you decide you want to see her again."

"Don't be an idiot."

"Eat your cheesecake, have a sip of wine and calm the F-train down." He sighed and did as he was told, his eyebrows raising slightly as he took a bite of his dessert.

"When you ordered me a cake made of cheese I was sceptical but this is actually nice."

"See? I'm full of good ideas." She finished her last mouthful and patted her stomach happily. "I think that was the nicest meal I've ever eaten. We should come back here when we're not working."

"You want to drive three and a half hours to get dessert and go home?" he asked sceptically.

"No, I meant to stay again. You know, in our down time?"

"When do we ever get down time?"

"Maybe we could take a holiday or something," she shrugged. "We don't always have to be switched on and I think you could use a break. If this is permanent you need to experience properly living again. Can't do that if you're always working." He cocked his head, studying her face.

"Alright. Once this case is over we'll take time off and travel somewhere." She blinked, surprised that he'd agreed so readily. "It's been a long time since you and I just spent some time together without having to save someone or catch a criminal. Even before you went to America we spent the last year or two constantly working. It could be good for both of us."

"Guess I'd better get planning our road trip then," she grinned.

"Not before this case is over. Right now I need your help. I haven't dated in centuries."

"You don't need to date. Just flirt." He blinked and she rolled her eyes. "Tease her in a nice way," she explained. "Make her laugh. It won't be hard if the way she looks at you is anything to go by."

"How is teasing her and being funny any different to the way I am with you?"

"When you tease her you won't be doing it to amuse yourself. You'll be doing it to amuse her." She rested an elbow on the table and propped her chin on her hand. "Just be nice to her. Pay her a compliment and smile. Be charming."

"I'm always charming."

"I hope you're right because here she comes." Valkyrie spotted Edith weaving her way through the tables towards them.

"Here goes nothing," Skulduggery muttered.

"Well hi you two. How was the meal?" Edith asked, her deep brown eyes bright. A rosy flush crept across her cheeks as Skulduggery flashed her a winning smile.

"Wonderful, thank you. I've never eaten a cheesecake like this one." Valkyrie hid her amused snort behind a cough and sipped her wine.

"Can I get you anything else?" Edith asked. She spoke earnestly, leaning towards Skulduggery as though he were the only person in the room. Valkyrie watched as he cocked his head and smiled again.

"The bill would be nice," he replied. "And perhaps your phone number?" Edith's cheeks flushed crimson but her eyes sparkled.

"I'll be right back," she promised before hurrying away.

"Smooth," Valkyrie grinned.

"Shut up."

"No, really, that was a bold move." She chuckled and finished the last of her wine. "She lapped it up. Did you see how excited she was?"

"And after she finishes being excited she'll be thoroughly disappointed. If the date goes horribly wrong it'll ruin her night. If it goes right and she doesn't hear from me again it'll ruin her night. Either way I'm going to ruin her night."

"But it's for the greater good. At least she seems nice and not completely insufferable. If she was like China you'd be resisting the urge to shoot her."

"Nobody is like China," he answered darkly.

"You can say that again." Edith returned with the bill and gave Skulduggery a long, lingering smile. He returned the smile by touching her hand when he presented his payment and a generous tip, making sure their fingers brushed together. Her gaze snapped up to him and stayed there for a moment before she seemed to remember herself.

"Thank you for a wonderful service tonight," he said, his voice smooth and velvety. "I'll be sure to call."

"Forgive me, but I didn't quite catch your name," the waitress said breathlessly.

"My name is Douglas," he replied without missing a beat. "It was lovely to meet you." His eye contact was intense and intimate enough that Edith seemed dazed.

"You too," she replied in a half sigh. He smiled again and stood, inclining his head in goodbye. As they left the restaurant Valkyrie looked back to see Edith watching him leave, one hand pressed to her cheek and a dreamy smile on her face.

"Damn, she's got it bad. She literally swooned."

"This is the worst thing I've ever had to do," Skulduggery muttered.

"Worse than almost getting squashed by a giant goblin with a crush on you?"

"Obviously not."

"Stop being dramatic then." He sighed irritably. "Should we continue looking around for a while?"

"Our best lead is Edith, unfortunately. And it's getting dark. I doubt we'll see much without knowing more and we can't exactly scour the mountainside at night without arousing suspicion."

"So what now?"

"We go back to the hotel room."

"And...?" He scowled at her.

"And I call Edith."

"Good boy."

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The waitress was so overjoyed about Skulduggery calling her the same night that Valkyrie could hear her excitement on the other end of the line. He spoke to her in the same honey smooth tones as in the restaurant and she was so eager that she agreed to go out with him the next night.

"She finishes her shift at six so I'll be meeting her at seven thirty," he said when he rang off. "I have no idea what I'm going to do with her but it's a date."

"That's easy. Take her out to the causeway. Set up a picnic with some food and candles on the beach, take a blanket and sit under the stars. She'll have a great time and all you have to do is talk."

"You think that'll work?"

"You could take her to a diner for a burger and fries and it'd still work. Didn't you see how she was looking at you?" Valkyrie asked, flopping back onto the double bed. "She's smitten already."

"She doesn't know me."

"Yeah but she obviously likes the way you look." She worked the braid out of her hair and pulled off her pumps as she spoke. "She took one look at the sharp suit and nice hair and bam, she was done. The eye contact and hand touching afterwards sent her half insane."

"Well I do look good in a suit," he agreed.

"And now you have the broad shoulders and the winning smile she's putty in your hands." He arched an eyebrow.

"You think I have a winning smile?"

"I've always said you have nice teeth," she shrugged.

"And broad shoulders?"

"I'm stating a fact. Have you actually looked in a mirror since you grew a heart?"

"No."

"You should." He rolled his eyes and opened the wardrobe doors to look in the full length mirror, cocking his head and frowning.

"Hmm."

"What?"

"I'm shocked at how similar this body is to my original one. Obviously my face structure won't change but I thought everything from the neck down would be a pot luck."

"Are you seriously trying to tell me you used to have a six pack?" Valkyrie asked incredulously. His reflection frowned at her.

"I was a soldier. I had to be fit in order to fight. Why is it so hard to believe this is what I was built like?" He turned to face her. "And who said I have a six pack?"

"There's no way you can have those shoulders and not have a six pack," she snorted. "I guess I just thought you'd be skinny because I've only ever known you to be tall and thin."

"Now you know I wasn't." He pulled open the drawer of his small bedside table and took out a few items of clothing. "I'm going to change for bed and then the bathroom is all yours."

When the door clicked closed Valkyrie chuckled to herself and gathered her own pyjamas. She'd insisted on bringing her Dublin jersey and favourite shorts, so she pulled them out and waited for him to return.

As soon as he was done she slipped into the bathroom and changed quickly, not allowing herself to think about having to share a bed with Skulduggery as she brushed her teeth.

She padded barefoot back into the bedroom and slipped under the soft duvet, snuggling down into the fluffy pillows with a contented sigh. He paused in the middle of hanging up his suit to arch an eyebrow at her.

"Comfy?" he asked.

"Very." She made a show of bundling herself up in the blankets to try and ease her nerves, closing her eyes as she felt the bed shift under Skulduggery's weight. She didn't open them again until he'd flicked off the lamp. When she finally did open them she kept her eyes on the ceiling, laying in silence for what felt like hours.

"I know you're awake," Skulduggery said softly into the quiet. "I can sleep on the floor if you're uncomfortable."

"I'm alright," she whispered back. "Just thinking about everything that's happened in the last few days. You should be asleep anyway."

"So should you."

"I have my whole life to sleep. You might not. You should be enjoying it while you can."

"Perhaps I would if I could shut my brain off." He sighed and linked his hands behind his head. "Sleeping always seemed so easy for everyone else. Is it always this hard?"

"No, but not everyone else has been a skeleton for centuries and suddenly found themselves alive. It's understandable that you can't relax." She smiled in the dark. "It sounds stupid but take some deep breaths. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Count to four on the out breath and keep repeating it. It's what I used to do to calm my panic attacks after a nightmare."

"Hmm. Alright." She heard him try it, staying silent as his quiet breaths moved in and out. After a few minutes his rhythm relaxed into one of sleep. Valkyrie smiled and closed her eyes, letting her dreams take her.

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