The New Assignment
Chapter 25
Maddie woke up next to Mike the next morning and smiled over at him. They had been woken up twice with fussy babies but it had been a wonderful night and Maddie knew that she didn't want to spend another night away from Mike. She reached over and kissed him awake and after they made out for a few minutes, he smiled at her.
"I missed you in here." Mike said.
"Oh, I could have stepped into your bedroom anytime." Maddie teased.
"Not quite what I meant, smartass." Mike said before giving her another kiss.
"I know. I wonder what Hannah will think?" Maddie asked.
"Honestly, as much as I love Hannah, I really don't want to think about her at the moment." Mike said as he touched her breast.
"Hmm. She really does love you, Mike. She'll want what she feels is best for you." Maddie said.
"I hate that she is hurting so badly. She really misses her mom." Mike remarked.
"Have you given her the jewelry?" Maddie asked.
"I need to unknot the necklaces and match earrings. I'm just terrible at that stuff." Mike admitted.
"Would you mind if I did it?" Maddie asked.
"No, I wouldn't but would you?" Mike asked.
"Mike; I love you and I love Hannah. I love two people that Christine also loved. It may take me a hot minute to do it, but I will have it displayed nicely." Maddie answered.
"I love you but I still miss her sometimes. It's confusing. Hannah winked at me yesterday. That was Christine's thing and when she did it, I had to leave the room. I didn't want Hannah to see me…upset, even crying." Mike admitted.
"Mmm…Mike, she needs to see you missing her mom. I don't have a problem with it and if anything, your love for Christine is endearing." Maddie said as she ran her hand through Mike's hair.
"But Doctor Gallagher said…" Mike started.
"She was an idiot. Mike; as a dad, what does your heart tell you? You might have lost years with Hannah but instinctively, you know what her needs are…Just like you know that when Jacob smacks his lips, he is hungry and if Rebecca makes that whiny noise, she wants cuddled." Maddie asked.
"My instinct is to hug her, but sometimes, I'm afraid she might get scared. To talk about her mom, brother or sister, but I don't want to make her sad, just because it helps me to talk about it. Not talking about them is like saying they never existed." Mike said.
"And I'm sure that is painful." Maddie remarked.
"Maybe more so then anything else. Hannah's memories are veiled at best, so between me and the people that knew Christine, Katie, and Lucas; there's only three other people alive that I know of. Hannah, Tom, and Russ. And someday, it'll be like they never had an impact." Mike answered. Maddie could see his eyes glistening and could hear him gulping away emotion.
"And you are afraid to talk about them for fear of hurting Hannah, but it helps to, and so you're conflicted?" Maddie asked.
"Yep." Mike said.
"So, tell me. Tell me about how you and Christine met? When you knew you were in love with her. About the first time you held Katie and Lucas. Special memories. Even if you hurt telling it. Maybe it's a birthday or anniversary. One of the things I think would be nice is after I get that jewelry sort, you explain any stories behind them? Maybe write them. That way, long after you are gone, Hannah can relay those stories to her children. Then; Christine, Katie and Lucas will have a special impact on people who never had a chance to know them." Maddie answered.
"It wouldn't bother you?" Mike asked.
"It would bother me if you were in pain and couldn't talk it out." Maddie said.
"When Christine was pregnant with Hannah; I was just newly in the Navy and had to be deployed. I missed her birth, and she was three months old the first time I held her. She hated me with a passion. All I wanted was to hold her…bond, you know? And I couldn't…but Christine was so patient. She would try to get Hannah to bond with me but nothing worked. One night, Hannah was fussy because it was hot and our air conditioning was broken. Christine took Hannah's sleeper off, and of course, I was not wearing a t-shirt. All of a sudden, Christine lifted my arms and put Hannah on my chest. Hannah started crying, but all of a sudden; she stopped and eventually she went to sleep. After that, I didn't have any problems with her…up 'til I got her back." Mike explained.
"It was the skin-to-skin contact." Maddie remarked.
"I suppose so. I think the special thing I remember about that was the way Christine watched me holding her and just smiled. You could tell she was so happy. That happiness…Its what I remember most. Of course, the moment was special with Hannah and I treasure it, but that memory of Christine…" Mike choked out and Maddie watched a tear fall. Instead of saying anything, Maddie just wrapped her arms around Mike and let him cry into her shoulder. She could only hope that the babies would let their daddy have his moment before they woke up.