Part 2

Chapter 26 - Contemplations

Present day - March

Rose POV

It was almost as if I could feel the blanket of sickness lift from my body, I could breathe properly again and my limbs didn't ache other than from lying still for too long. My mind was clear but still I felt confused about all that had happened. Even if I didn't exactly know the number of days it was weird to think that a bit more than a week ago I'd been at the Institution, doing my chores as usual. Being irritated by Meredith's sheepish mind, Eddie's and Mason's stone faces and not knowing anything else.

Since then my whole world had turned several times over and still I wasn't free. This sickness had been different and it scared me to think about what could have happened at the Institution if I'd had these kinds of symptoms there. Had Igor been as gentle with me as these guardians had been? I was sure he wouldn't have. My mind wandered to the nice girl that had taken care of me when I was younger, the girl with the blue eyes, and how her laugh had suddenly disappeared. How she became closed off and always looking over her shoulder. I couldn't help but think about how differently these new guardians acted compared to the guardians at the Institution, as well as the fact that I remained unharmed here. Despite the situation with Spiridon, I felt certain that I was more safe here than I would have been back at the Institution.

The thought of being safe here startled me. I could feel my mind running away, the insecurity of what I actually felt and thought was evident. The fog that had clouded my mind during these last days had dispersed but it was as if the clarity gave too much room to think so the thoughts kept racing. I needed to clear my mind and to that account I decided to take a hot shower. As I opened my bedroom door the men were nowhere to be seen. Unsure if they were in the other bedroom or outside I quickly scurried to the bathroom. I had no desire to encounter either of them alone. The images of Spiridon prying his belt open was still fresh in my mind, as was the dream of Dimitri. Though resulting in very different kind of emotions.

Once inside the bathroom I locked the door behind me and started undressing in front of the mirror. I was surprised to see myself the same as always. Surely some evidence of the last days should be visible. I leaned closer to the mirror, turning my head this and that way trying to see a change. A slight bruise, a reminder of what happened with Moore was still visible, but that was the only external evidence of everything that had happened. I shook my head trying to get my mind straight, turned on the shower and waited for the warm water before stepping in. The warmth surrounding me was soothing. I sighed and focused on what I was doing. I massaged my scalp with slow but determined movements, combing my fingers through the tangles and breathing slowly. I wouldn't let my mind take control and confuse me all over again. I couldn't find any conditioner or body wash, but the shampoo was enough to make me feel like a new person. I even rubbed shampoo over my body to get all the sweat and grime off me. When my hands rubbed over my shoulders and neck, my mind escaped to the dream about Dimitri for a brief moment until I managed to suppress it. I was not ready to think about how real his hands had felt on me. Images of Dimitri in his towel kept popping into my head faster than I was able to block them, and I shut down the water with an irritated sigh.

I stepped out of the shower into the steam-filled room, pleased that I was no longer visible in the mirror. I looked down on the pile of clothes that I'd lived in during my sickness, repulsed by the idea to have them on my body again. They smelled of sweat and desperation and as I looked around I realized that I'd forgotten the towel.

Okay, Rose, take a deep breath.

I mulled over my options. Either I could walk out fully naked or put on the clothes. I sighed and bent down to pick up the t-shirt and put it on with my underwear, feeling confident enough I picked up the rest and ran for it. Not breathing again before closing my bedroom door behind me.

My heart was pounding as I leaned my back against the door still clutching the ball of dirty clothes. I willed my breathing to calm down enough to see something on the bed that I was certain hadn't been there before I left. At the end of the bed was a pile of neatly stacked clothing with a hairbrush and a hair tie on top of it. I dropped the bundle of dirty clothes and walked forward smiling. I really didn't need to smell the calming scent to know who it was from. It always seemed that Dimitri knew my needs before I'd say them out loud, sometimes even before I knew them myself. The smile remained as I changed my shirt to his, which actually was more of a dress than a t-shirt. The pair of fresh underwear was far too big, but non the less I was a lot more comfortable with them instead of going commando or in my dirty ones. It was already bad enough not having a bra to support my breasts or give me an extra layer of cover. Luckily the sweatpants had somewhat survived without getting too gross.

I had to admit to myself that it was such a nice gesture to lend me his hairbrush, it was as if he was not only taking care of my absolute basic needs but wanted me to feel comfortable. I contemplated if such a man really could be as bad as I knew guardians to be. He wasn't as cold and calculative as most and didn't make me as uncomfortable as Igor had. The idea of him actually being my Dimitri reappeared and as I pondered the thought I brushed my hair. Brushing through my hair felt really nice and afterwards I decided to braid it to keep it out of the way. I still wasn't sure that the boy from my childhood and this man were the same person but on the other hand I wasn't as sure that they weren't either.

I ended up sitting on the bed for far longer than intended, lost in my thoughts again.

Eventually I decided that it was time to meet the ones responsible for me being here. I took a strengthening breath and walked out into the living area. This time they were both there sitting on the couch, one reading a book and the other one polishing two silver stakes. They both looked up when I entered the room.

I heard Spiridon mutter "fuck" under his breath and he sprung up from the couch. His eyes quickly searched for a way to put distance between us and took notice of the window behind the couch, slightly open to allow some fresh air. He yanked the handle to the window, opened it up as much as he could before squeezing himself out of it. The whole situation was rather comical, if I ignored the very reason for his bizarre actions. It didn't take a genius to understand that he didn't want to risk staying in the same room in case he would be the same as the last time. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his spikey, blond hair disappearing through the window. Dimitri smilingly watched me as I had to sit down on my knees because I laughed so much.

"Hey, I can hear you, you know!" The voice from outside just made it all so much funnier. When I'd finally calmed down and could breath properly again I made the mistake of looking up at Dimitri who still sat where Spiridon had left him and I started all over again but this time I couldn't stop, it felt like my sanity was slipping through my fingers.

My whole world came tumbling down. I could still hear myself laughing but it sounded more hysterical than anything else. Images from my life flashed before my eyes in rapid speed. Running around with Mason and Eddie, playing hide and seek, breaking the rules by practicing to defend myself, cooking and cleaning, Igor's weird comments and proximity that made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. The basement with Moore, running away from Dimitri in the woods, trying to adapt for the new ways of being, well, not free. Somewhere along the train of thoughts the tears started rolling down my cheeks and the hysterical laughs turned to harsh sobs. It was all too much and I was all alone.

The whole time I felt Dimitri's eyes on me, but I refused to meet his gaze. I swallowed once and couldn't help but glance in his direction. He had put down the book and looked concerned. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I was fine, collected and in control. The next minute I was hysterical, pending between uncontrollable laughter and crying. I think we both were equally worried that this whole situation was becoming too much for me to handle.

"Rose."

Dimitri's voice was a lot closer and it startled me. I blinked several times to clear my vision from my tears and saw a pair of black combat boots a few feet from me. My reaction made him still and I saw his hand hovering in the air close to my shoulder before he pulled it back. He took a step back and got down on his knees as well, still keeping his distance. He bent over slightly, crouching and catching my eyes with his. I stared into those brown eyes and time went still. I don't know how long we sat there looking at each other, but I could feel my breathing calm down, our shoulders rising and falling at the same pace as he steadied my breathing with his.

"Rose, please talk to me," he said as he produced a tissue from his pocket which I took gratefully.

I couldn't tell him about my internal turmoil. It was all too much and I didn't know where to begin or if I could trust him enough. I looked at him and something in my eyes must have told him what I couldn't. I wasn't ready to talk.

"Just answer me these two questions. Is there anything I can do for you? And are you feeling better?"

Since I couldn't trust my voice I only let two words out.

"No. Yes."

I could hear the front door open slowly and tried to collect myself not wanting Spiridon to see me like this. Dimitri let his gaze turn towards the door, someone acknowledging Spiridon's existence was all he needed to break the tension in the room.

"I assume that I can re-enter? You won't attack me or anything?" The caution in Spiridon's voice was sincere.

"To be fair, she hasn't really attacked any of us." Dimitris' light voice was rewarded by a mumbling response from Spiridon as he returned to the couch. I rose up from the floor and went to the kitchen to get some water and as I returned Dimitri signaled for me to sit down in one of the opposite armchairs.

"You okay?" Dimitri asked tentatively. Spiridon seemed oblivious to my breakdown, but I knew he must've heard some of it. My tear-streaked face was at least a dead giveaway. I nodded instead of answering him.

As I looked at him he glanced at the shirt I was wearing. "Thank you for the, you know, stuff," I mumbled. He just shrugged his shoulders smilingly and said "I promise we'll make sure that you get your own things as soon as possible."

His words made me falter, but I was pretty sure I managed to contain my reaction enough for them not to notice. It was clear that their plan for me was to stay with them for longer, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Perhaps it was a good idea to wait until I would have a bit more on my hands before I bolted.

"So is it safe for us to be in the same room from now on?" Spiridon's inquiry was a bit more desperate than Dimitri's.

"Yes, I would think so."

"So, what the fuck happened?" his harsh voice startled me and I didn't get a chance to answer before Dimitri intervened.

"Come outside with me, Spiridon. Now." Making it equally clear that I was to stay inside as they would talk outside. It made me angry that they excluded me once more, so I went back to my bedroom and slammed the door.

Hi all!

We are back with this, same disclaimers as in chapter 1. We aim to upload weekly until part 2 is finished, although both of us have started or is starting a new job which makes it a tad harder to find the same creative energy and time. Hope you will enjoy this and if you have any questions please message us!

Alesha & Telma