Part 3
A day by the sea.
It was a short walk to the beach, filled with gentle smiles and silent glances.
With a clear blue sky and no clouds in sight, the view of the ocean was breath-taking as it glistened and stretched far out to the horizon.
Buffy ran her fingers through her loose hair and padded barefoot between the wet sand and the foamy waves sweeping around her feet. She breathed in the salty air and felt a sense of peace fill her soul that she hadn't known in an awfully long time.
The last time she felt this content was….
Heaven. The word slipped softly into Buffy's head, but it carried none of the resentment it once had. Buffy had long ago accepted her fate and had put the dark days of her resurrection behind her.
Despite the collapse of Sunnydale and losing everything she owned, her sister and most of her friends survived. Others in their circle had not been so fortunate, but the world was a safer place for their sacrifice. At least until the next apocalypse comes calling. Family and friends were all that mattered, and if the people she loved were happy, Buffy would be as well.
Then why do you feel so lost? A faint whisper in her head asked the question she couldn't answer.
Buffy sighed as she considered the life that awaited her back in London. Since Sunnydale, she had been sleepwalking through her life, looking for something meaningful to focus on. Everyone around her had eagerly accepted their new positions while she stood back and watched from a distance.
Her job as a councillor was essential and rewarding, but it didn't inspire her.
Am I looking for a reason to change or simply an excuse to keep doing what I'm doing? That question had kept her awake for many a night.
The new school for slayers was running smoothly, and despite what Giles continued to tell her, he could run the newly formed council perfectly well without her help. Kennedy kept the new slayers in check. Dawn was settled at Oxford University, and Willow and Xander had found their own paths, which didn't include her.
If it hadn't been for Angel's letter, she might have continued sleepwalking through the rest of her life.
Angel.
Buffy looked up and watched as Angel stood in the shallow surf, taking in the sun's rays with a smile on his pale face.
The only clothes she could purchase at the small grocery store were a white wife-beater and blue denim jeans, but they fitted him perfectly.
Buffy smiled as a long-ago memory slipped into her head. When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. It had been true then, and it was even more so now.
Angel took a pebble from the sand and skimmed it across the water. He grinned like a schoolboy as it bounced three times before sinking into the ocean. Angel turned to face Buffy, his expression so happy and content that it took her breath away.
He really is alive. Buffy felt something awake in her chest that she hadn't felt since discovering the happiness clause in Angel's soul.…. Hope. The seed was small and fragile, but it quickly took root in her heart and made its presence known.
Buffy closed her eyes. She had buried that emotion long ago, and feeling it again was exhilarating.
Although she never admitted it out loud, knowing that Angel could lose his soul if he stayed with her had been the beginning of the end of their relationship.
Buffy's broken heart would always belong to the souled vampire, but with that threat hanging over their heads, they had no chance of ever living happily ever after.
Humanity changed everything. Because there is no longer a demon, there is no longer a threat.
Buffy felt excited as she considered all the things they could now share.
With the nightmare of being a vampire behind him, would Angel welcome the chance to live a normal life with her?
Could they really have a happy ending after all?
The sound of a seagull flying in low and landing on the sand close to her feet brought Buffy's thoughts back to the present.
Her gaze was drawn to Angel, a few feet down the beach, and she smiled as she watched the ex-vampire experience his first day in the sun.
The tiny seed of hope deep inside her chest began to grow.
Angel closed his eyes and raised his face to the sun, allowing the warmth of the rays to permeate his body and reach deep within his soul. Having spent so much time in the shadows, avoiding the sun's deadly rays, and fighting to make amends, Angel's thoughts turned to the possibility of redemption.
Did I finally make amends?
Was I forgiven?
Angel found it difficult to believe that his centuries of atrocities could be so easily forgiven, but the new beating heart thumping in his chest told him otherwise. He was alive. Therefore, there had to be a reason.
It had to be the Shanshu Prophecy, Angel reasoned. Or was there another way to bring a vampire back from the dead as a human being?
Angel searched his mind, but there was nothing inside but locked doors. It was frustrating, but…
You faced a Mohra demon. Life goes on.
Angel blinked as an unknown voice entered his head. He held his breath, but when nothing else followed, he had no choice but to accept that his memories would return when they were ready and not before. It was trying, but he had no choice but to wait or risk turning back into his old brooding self.
What the hell was a Mohra demon?
That was definitely a question for a later date.
Angel pushed the thought away and returned to enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin.
Buffy took a few steps closer to where Angel was standing. Her toe stubbed something sharp sticking out from the sand, and as she looked down, she discovered a big seashell at her feet. Buffy knelt and carefully brushed the loose sand away. With a smile, she slipped the shell into her back pocket, thinking it would make the ideal memento of their perfect day.
Thinking of keepsakes, Buffy made a mental note to purchase a camera the first chance she got. Even if she and Angel remained just friends, she wanted to save these precious first memories for the rest of their lives.
Angel turned and smiled. A shiver ran down Buffy's spine as their eyes met across the sand, and Buffy knew it wasn't just the memories she wanted to keep forever.
"Does it live up to your expectations?" Buffy asked softly as she stood by his side. The sea breeze ruffled her hair, and she brushed the stray strands away from her face.
Angel sighed. "It's even more beautiful than I could have imagined," he said, with a faraway look in his eyes.
Buffy looked around her, marvelling at what Angel was seeing for the first time in his new life.
Her eyes were drawn to the bright sunlight shimmering on the vast blue ocean, then back to the gentle waves lapping at their feet. In the distance, children were building castles in the sand. Their squeals of laughter filled the air as parents watched on with smiles on their proud faces. From above, Seagulls flew in low across the water and landed on the soft sand, squawking for food.
Buffy realised at that moment that the ex-vampire had been denied all the normal things humans took for granted for most of his existence. It was no surprise that he was astounded by what he was witnessing.
"The view really looks spectacular in the daylight," Buffy said softly and turned her face back to her companion.
Angel looked up, and the sight of Buffy in the sunlight caused the ocean view to fade into insignificance.
"I wasn't talking about the view," he said, staring intensely into her large hazel eyes.
Buffy blinked in confusion for a moment, but then her eyes widened, and she laughed.
"You're such a terrible liar," she said and smiled as she ran a hand over her windswept hair.
Angel lowered his eyes as his compliment was brushed aside as a joke. He didn't have the heart to tell her he'd meant every word, and he silently cursed the lost opportunity.
"Next time we come here, maybe we can go for a swim," Buffy suggested, changing the subject. "The water looks so clear I'd love to swim out and see what's beneath the waves."
Angel shuddered. He suddenly felt claustrophobic as the feeling of being trapped underwater closed around him. Where the hell had that come from?
Buffy looked up at him, concern clear on her face. "Angel? What is it?"
The sound of his name pulled him back to his present.
"I'm not sure," he said as the uncomfortable feeling slipped away and the colour returned to his cheeks. Buffy reached out and took his hand, and Angel's mood lightened. She could tell he was upset, so she decided that making him feel better would help more than forcing him to face the problem head-on.
When Angel pulled her into a friendly hug a few moments later, she realised her hunch had paid off.
Angel's gaze returned to the ocean while holding Buffy close to him, but this time, he felt nothing out of the ordinary. Whatever he had previously felt had disappeared as fast as it had arrived. His thoughts returned to Buffy's suggestion of taking a swim, and he smiled at the idea of seeing Buffy in a bikini. With that image in his mind, going swimming didn't seem such a horrible idea after all.
Feeling the tension slip away from his body, Buffy pulled away from the hug and immediately missed the feel of his arms around her.
"Are you okay?" she asked, tilting her head up so she could read his expression.
Angel nodded, and Buffy was relieved to see that his warm brown eyes were no longer showing signs of distress.
"Are you ready to explore the rest of this beach?" Angel asked, offering his hand. Their fingers intertwined, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
This time, Buffy was the one to nod in agreement. Overjoyed that their perfect day could continue. Buffy knew that if Angel wanted her to, she'd be happy to spend the rest of her life exploring the world with him.
Looking back at the ocean and the never-ending waves, Buffy sighed in contentment.
As they strolled along the beach, Buffy put all thoughts of London and the council out of her mind.
Buffy and Angel wandered the shoreline, hand in hand, in comfortable silence. A growing number of sunbathers began congregating on the beach, but the couple paid no attention to anyone around them.
After walking for a few miles, Buffy stopped and pointed toward a promenade of souvenir shops that ran parallel to the beach. The chance to buy an ice-cold drink was too good to pass up, and they headed towards the first shop.
Buffy's eyes lit up when she saw the ice cream truck beside the beach. "Ice cream!" she exclaimed, excitedly pulling on her companion's hand. "You've got to try ice cream, Angel."
Angel just chuckled and followed her lead.
"There are so many flavours," Angel said, looking at the rows of assorted ice cream in amazement. He looked up and read through the lengthy list of names. "How do you choose when there are so many choices?" he asked as he shook his head, still none the wiser.
Buffy watched Angel's bewildered face with amusement. "There is no choice when there's Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip on the menu," she laughed with a twinkle in her large hazel eyes.
You're human for like a minute, and already there is Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip in the fridge.
Angel stood still as a sudden sensation of déjà vu washed over him.
Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip.
The strange name of the ice cream sounded so familiar, but what he remembered wasn't possible, and it made no sense at all.
Not noticing the change in his mood, Buffy ordered two cones and paid the vendor with some loose change in her purse and a big smile. Over the years, she had come to associate ice cream with bad breakups and hadn't eaten her favourite dessert in a long time. Today was the perfect opportunity for her to reacquaint herself with her beloved Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip while sharing the experience with Angel.
Buffy took a small lick from the side of her cone and sighed with pleasure as the familiar flavours of her favourite ice cream burst across her tongue.
"That is so good."
She looked across at Angel, and just as he took a large bite, Buffy called out in alarm.
"Be careful. You will get brain freeze," she said, reaching out and touching his arm.
Angel's eyes widened slightly. "Brain Freeze?" he asked, looking at Buffy with mild confusion. "What's a brain freeze?"
Buffy tried her best to describe the horrible sensation to Angel, but he couldn't understand how something so innocuous could cause such pain.
"Just take my word for it," she said. "I would hate for you to have an unpleasant experience with your first ice cream."
Angel followed her lead and carefully tasted the cold confection.
"Well?" Buffy rocked on the balls of her feet with excitement as Angel got to experience her favourite ice cream for the first time.
"It's good, but…." Angel took another small bite, and as the flavour hit his tongue, he got a strange look on his face. "I think I might have tried this before. The taste is…. familiar."
Buffy raised an eyebrow. The memory of another vampire mixing herbs into his blood to add flavour came to her mind, but she pushed it away.
"I thought you lost your taste buds when you were turned into a vampire," she asked, her face filled with curiosity.
Angel lowered his eyes. "I did," he said, a little embarrassed. Angel had never been comfortable with Buffy watching him feed.
Buffy thought the embarrassed expression was adorable. She took pity on his slightly flushed face and tried to make light of his answer.
"Well, I can promise you they didn't have Cookie-dough-fudge-mint when you were alive." Buffy maintained a straight face, but her eyes sparkled with mischief as she teased him about his age. Angel may appear to be 26 years old, but they both knew otherwise.
Angel shook his head. He knew Buffy was right, but he also believed somewhere deep inside of him, there was a memory where he had once eaten this strange concoction of ice cream.
Not wanting to spoil Buffy's excitement, he forced a smile to his lips and shook off the strange feeling of déjà vu.
Angel smiled as he continued to taste the combination of flavours on his tongue. The ice cream was sweet and cold and… on the floor. Buffy laughed at the look of disappointment on his face. Angel had taken so long with his cone that the sun had melted it and half of it lay splattered at his feet.
Okay, mortal coordination leaves something to be desired.
Wrong. It's just right.
Angel returned from his thoughts to find Buffy staring at him intently.
"Another memory?" she asked with concern.
Angel shook his head, deep in thought. "I don't think so," he said quietly. "It was most likely wishful thinking."
Buffy gazed at Angel, confused by his words, but he did not try to elaborate. Instead, he took her hand and looked into her eyes.
"So, Buffy Summers. What would you like to do next?" Angel asked, changing the subject before any other strange thoughts could enter his mind. He'd have plenty to think about later, but for now, he wanted to focus all his attention on the lovely blonde by his side.
A playful smile formed at the corner of Buffy's mouth and spread as she considered the possibilities.
"I chose the beach, so now it's your turn," Angel said, waiting to hear what Buffy had in mind for the rest of the day.
Buffy took a few moments to think about the question, and then her face lit up with excitement.
Angel raised an eyebrow and then turned his head to see what had caught Buffy's attention. His eyes widened slightly as he realised why Buffy was so excited.
There was a large sign advertising a local landmark for all to see.
FUNFAIR and MINI-GOLF.
At Buffy's irresistible grin, Angel burst out laughing.
What on earth have I got myself into?
"That was so much fun," Buffy's face was beaming as they exited the mini-golf park. She took a small bite of her pink candy floss and then licked the remaining sugar from her lips with the tip of her tongue.
A few steps ahead, Angel turned, and his gaze was immediately drawn to Buffy's mouth. His dark eyes lingered, wondering how her lips would taste coated in spun sugar.
"Come on. Tell me that wasn't fun," Buffy teased, waving the candyfloss in her hand in his direction.
Angel shook his head as he watched the bundle of pink fluff wobble precariously on its thin stick.
"I'm glad you enjoyed my total humiliation," he sighed, his bottom lip slightly pouted for emphasis. Inwardly, it thrilled Angel to see Buffy acting like a normal girl, having fun without the weight of the world resting heavily on her shoulders.
While taking in Buffy's radiant smile, Angel's mind wandered.
He hadn't seen her so carefree since the day of her 17th birthday. Once Angelus appeared, the innocence in her eyes disappeared forever, and no matter how hard they tried, their relationship was never the same again.
Angel loved the Slayer and wouldn't change her for the world. However, it was nice to see a glimpse of the girl she might have been if fate hadn't been so cruel.
Buffy pulled off a long strip of pink candyfloss and offered it to Angel to taste.
Angel shook his head. He had wanted to taste the candyfloss from her lips. Sadly, the gooey substance didn't seem so appealing when pulled from a stick.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders at the rejection and returned her attention to their scorecards.
"I think you need a bit more practice," she said, studying the card in her hand and trying not to laugh at how badly Angel had scored. "Your mortal coordination definitely leaves something to be desired."
Angel blinked. That was the second time he had heard those words in as many hours. They seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place them anywhere in his memory when he tried.
It was too much to be a coincidence. Perhaps it wasn't just wishful thinking after all.
Buffy, blissfully unaware of the confusion her comment had caused him, proudly waved the scorecard she had saved from their game.
"I'm thinking of framing this," she laughed.
Angel returned his attention to Buffy's teasing and rolled his eyes. "And my humiliation is complete." he joked and moved closer to Buffy.
Despite his humiliation at mini golf, Angel hadn't had this much fun in... well, for as long as he could remember.
There was a subtle hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth when he spoke. "I demand a rematch."
Buffy laughed. "And what do I get if I beat you again?"
Angel raised his eyebrows, and on seeing the expression on his face, Buffy forgot how to breathe. God, I want to kiss him so much.
Angel leaned in closer, and he could almost taste the sweet candy floss on her breath.
"Anything you want," he said, a grin slowly spreading across his face. His tone was light-hearted, but his eyes were serious.
Buffy's heart rate quickened, and her cheeks flushed as his lips came within inches of hers.
You. I want you. I've always wanted you.
Buffy looked into his eyes, and she smiled ever so slightly. "I will give it some thought," she said softly.
They stared at one another for several seconds, feeling the electricity pulling them together.
Angel cleared his throat. "I guess it's time to head back to the hotel," he said. Trying to get his emotions under control.
Buffy's heart dropped. She was not eager for the day to end, but she knew it was getting late, and it had been a long day for Angel. After his recent resurrection, he had to be feeling tired. The walk home would take at least an hour, so she reluctantly agreed they should start the long walk back.
"Okay," Buffy answered, trying to mask her disappointment with a smile. She threw what remained of her Candy floss into a garbage can, her appetite for sugar was suddenly lost.
With a small sigh, Buffy accepted the hand Angel had once again extended to her and started back towards the beach.
WEST BEACH MOTEL.
Buffy smiled, looking up at the bright new moon in the dark sky above the motel.
The perfect end to a perfect day, she thought as her eyes wandered to the hundreds of stars shining like diamonds in the heavens above.
The perfect day with the perfect man.
Buffy sighed heavily. If only she could let go of that nagging doubt in her mind, all her dreams of finally living a normal life could come true.
Into each generation, a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires...
Buffy knew she was no longer the one girl in all the world any longer, but she was still a chosen one. It was in her blood. Could she just walk away from her calling? Could she have a human Angel in her life and continue living the life of a slayer.?
Did Angel even want her in his life like she wanted him?
"Buffy?"
Buffy felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and slowly turned around.
"You were miles away," Angel said quietly, concerned by the distant look in her troubled eyes.
Buffy smiled. "Sorry, I'm back now," she said, returning her full attention to the dark-haired man standing by her side.
Angel saw the anxiety fade from her eyes and her face soften, but he was still concerned about having witnessed it.
"Are you alright, Buffy?"
Buffy simply nodded. "I'm fine," she responded, briefly putting aside her concern about where she stood in Angel's life. She wasn't prepared for that discussion. It was a modest white lie because she knew it would have to be discussed at some point in the future. Buffy still did not know what the future held for them if she continued being a slayer, but it didn't matter at that moment. She was having the best day of her life, and leaving the council could wait for another day.
Angel wasn't convinced by her reply, but he let it drop for the time being. Buffy was smiling again, and he didn't want to take that smile from her face by pushing deeper for an explanation. Before he could give it any more thought, his stomach rumbled loudly.
Buffy looked up and grinned. "Are you hungry?" She asked, realising they had been enjoying their day so much they had skipped lunch. Apart from the ice cream on the beach, they hadn't eaten since breakfast. "How do you feel about pizza?"
The question threw the ex-vampire for a moment.
Buffy chuckled at Angel's perplexed expression. "For dinner?... Melted cheese, various toppings, all delivered in a big square box." She described everything as simply as she could.
Angel raised an eyebrow. "Sounds interesting," he said, but his voice remained doubtful. Of course, Angel knew what pizza was; he'd seen Cordelia and Wesley order it a few times at the office but never paid attention to what they were actually eating.
It will go straight to your thighs. Cordelia's voice entered his head, and while he couldn't recall where he had heard the words, he understood what they meant.
"I heard it's very fattening," Angel said and turned his attention back to the woman in front of him.
Buffy lowered her eyes as the thought of Angel considering his waistline brought a small smile to the corners of her mouth. Being human for a few days and already concerned about gaining weight was too adorable for words.
"It's fine, as long as you don't make a habit of it."
The look on Angel's face told her he wasn't entirely convinced that she was being completely truthful.
Buffy took a step closer and looked into his eyes. "Maybe you should do some exercise.…" She smiled as she ran her fingers across his chest. "Burn off all these new calories."
Angel ran his tongue over his bottom lip as his heart thumped wildly in his chest.
He leaned forward. "What did you have in mind.?" Angel asked in a low, deep voice.
Buffy paused, and then her lips curled into a smile. "Jogging."
Okay, I didn't see that coming. Angel swallowed. He could think of far better ways to build up a sweat.
Sparring…. T'ai Chi…. Sex…. Her legs wrapped around his waist.
Angel glanced at Buffy's lips and felt a strong desire to kiss her. He moved in for a kiss, his lips coming within a hair's breadth of hers. He only needed to lean in a few inches and... And ruin everything, you moron. A voice in the back of his mind stopped him cold.
Angel stepped back. They had spent years becoming different people, and Buffy had made it clear that they needed time to rediscover who they were now. They were friends, no doubt about it, but nothing else had been decided. Until Buffy was ready, Angel knew he couldn't kiss her, no matter how badly he wanted to.
The only problem was that if he kept having these intimate thoughts, he had little chance of keeping the relationship platonic.
Angel cleared his throat and attempted to recall what they were talking about.
"Jogging?" he said, still trying to get his emotions under control. "You think we should go running… for fun?"
Buffy nodded. Jogging seemed to be the most practical workout under the circumstances. With her full slayer strength, anything else could be dangerous until they tested how strong Angel was.
Angel tried hard to hide how he really felt about the exercise she was suggesting, but something must have shown in his eyes.
"It will be fun," Buffy reassured him, still oblivious to how close Angel had come to kissing her. "And it's also another new experience we can share."
Not knowing what else to say, Angel forced a smile to his lips and nodded his agreement.
Buffy beamed with delight at the prospect of this new activity. "Great, I will set the alarm."
Angel looked up as Buffy walked out of the bathroom and noticed she was ready for bed. He'd already showered but didn't want to make Buffy feel uncomfortable by assuming they'd be sharing the only bed in the room again. The couch looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he was happy to sleep there if that's what she wanted.
Buffy yawned as she ran a brush through her hair. She set the brush down and removed her robe, hanging it over the back of a chair.
"You really should get some sleep. It's been a long day." Angel said from his chair on the other side of the room.
Buffy nodded and gave him a tired smile. "Sorry. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open." She yawned once more as if to emphasise her point.
It had been a long, fun-filled day, but the excitement was finally catching up with her.
"Are you staying up for a while or coming to bed now?" she asked as she slipped between the cool sheets.
Angel set the book he had been reading on the table and turned off the lamp. The question of where he would sleep had been resolved with no embarrassment. As he slid onto his side of the bed, he was pleasantly surprised when Buffy moved closer and snuggled into his side.
Angel turned towards Buffy and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, letting his fingers lightly caress her cheek before pulling his hand back. Her cheeks were pink from spending all day in the sun, but all Angel could think was how incredibly beautiful she looked, snuggled next to him. Buffy tilted her head to meet his eyes and gave him a sleepy smile.
"Thank you for today. It was perfect," Buffy said, trailing her fingers lazily down his arm.
Angel was quiet for a moment. He closed his eyes as he thought back on the events of that day.
His memories were returning. They were returning in fragments and made barely any sense, but they were coming back, something he was happy for.
However, the recovery of his memory was not the reason the day had been perfect.
His first breakfast.
The sunlight on the ocean.
Buffy in the sunlight.
The taste of ice cream.
The thrill of a roller coaster and the embarrassment of missing every shot at Mini Golf
Almost kissing Buffy.
Buffy…. Buffy was the reason his day had been so perfect.
Angel opened his eyes, and when he looked down at the woman in question, he found her fast asleep. Angel smiled softly. "It really was perfect," he finally agreed and gently kissed her on the top of her head.
And if the powers that be are benevolent, we get to do it all over again tomorrow.
Angel closed his eyes, and with that one last thought, he followed Buffy into sleep.
TBC.