Chapter -6
In which Frodo and co. relive their experiences at Weathertop.
The four hobbits, with a flash of burning light, find themselves at. well, they don't really know where they are, because they have been blinded.
Frodo: AH! My eyes!!
Pippin: Look at all the pretty colors!
Then the blindness wore away.
Merry: This place seems vaguely familiar.
Frodo: I don't like it here, but I don't know why. Sam, do you have anything to do with the sharp, stabbing sensation in my shoulder?
Sam: I don't believe so, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: I bet you did, you sneaky little porcupine!!
Sam: What'd I ever do to you?!
Sam runs off into the wilderness, crying like a baby.
Frodo: What a wuss.
A little while later. . .
Pippin: I'm bored.
Merry: Me too.
Pippin: Let's go find Sam and make fun of him!
Frodo: Now that sounds like my idea of fun!!
Meanwhile. . .
Sam sings a silly song: Ozone Excavation, Mr. Ozone Excavation, That should've been my denomination, Mr. Ozone Excavation Cuz you can look right through me, Totally ignore me, And never know that I'm there. Never *clash* even *clash* KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!. i'm there.
*Authors' note: Hey, it rhymes!!
Voice in the shadows: You're an outcast from society too?
Sam: *gasp!* I've finally found someone I can identify with!!!
Romantic SIMs music comes on.
The figure steps into the light.
Sam: Oh my. you're so beautiful! You look just like me!!!
Sam from the Past: That's because I am you, lova!
FutureSam bursts into song: I've got a friend in me. I've got a friend in me. If I have troubles now. . . he'll get them too! Cuz I've got a friend in me. Yes I've got a friend in me!!!
It was love at first sight. From then on, they ate together, they bathed together, they even shared the same piece of mint flavored dental floss. Life was their burrito. Until, late one night. . .
PastSam: Sweetie pumpkin, can we both have loyalties to Frodo Baggins?
And FutureSam said: Whoa! Hold on there, baby! Mr. Frodo's not ready for that kind of commitment!!!
So they broke up and never saw each other again, but that's just the way things go.
In MI - I - I - I - DLE ER - EARTH!!!!!!!!!! In MI - I - I - I - DLE ER - EARTH!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways. . .
Pippin: Oh Samwise, what a big nose you have!
Frodo: (impersonating Sam) All the better to blow snot on you, my dear.
Merry: Oh Samwise, what a big rear you have!
Frodo: All the better to. . .
LPD #4: Now that's just gross!!
LPD #2: Keep it clean, boys, keep it clean.
Merry: How long have we been walking aimlessly in these woods, anyway?
Frodo: 'bout two hours.
Suddenly, the sound of a stampeding buffalo is heard.
Pippin: AHHH!! IT'S A STAMPEDING BUFFALO!!!!
Frodo: Naw, it's just Sam.
Pippin: How do you know?
Frodo: . . .
Merry: Well?
Frodo: . . . I promised I'd keep it clean.
Pippin: Ah.
Sam comes crashing through the trees making distressed buffalo noises.
Sam: WAAAHHHH *grunt grunt* WAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Frodo: Hello Sam.
Sam: My life is ruined, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!
Frodo: Finally! My life-long goal is accomplished!!
Merry, Pippin, and Frodo give each other high fives.
Sam: *sniff* *whimper* *grunt grunt*
Frodo: What's that I smell? I think it's. . .
Sam: Tomatoes!
Merry: Sausages!
Pippin: Nice crispy bacon!
Merry: That line sounds vaguely familiar.
Cut to scene in office building.
LPD #3: We are now going to examine the effects of de-ja-vu.
The telephone rings.
LPD #3: Hello? No thanks. I'll call you back. Bye.
LPD #2, dressed in a tuxedo, walks in and sets a glass of water on #3's desk.
Blackout.
LPD #3 is sitting at a desk.
LPD #3: We are now going to examine the effects of de-ja-vu.
Phone rings.
LPD #3: Hello? No. Goodbye.
#2 come in and gives #3 a glass of water.
Blackout.
#3 sitting at a desk.
LPD #3: We are now going to-
*ring*
LPD #3: AHH!!! Go away!!!!!
*water*
LPD #3: GAH!!!!! I can't take it anymore! I quit! No more de-ja-vu for me!!!!!
Frodo and LPD #1 peek in.
LPD #1: Is this room taken? All the Motel 6's were full.
LPD #3: Don't go in there, #1! That room's possessed!!! *runs away*
LPD #4: And now, back to our feature presentation.
In which Frodo and co. relive their experiences at Weathertop.
The four hobbits, with a flash of burning light, find themselves at. well, they don't really know where they are, because they have been blinded.
Frodo: AH! My eyes!!
Pippin: Look at all the pretty colors!
Then the blindness wore away.
Merry: This place seems vaguely familiar.
Frodo: I don't like it here, but I don't know why. Sam, do you have anything to do with the sharp, stabbing sensation in my shoulder?
Sam: I don't believe so, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: I bet you did, you sneaky little porcupine!!
Sam: What'd I ever do to you?!
Sam runs off into the wilderness, crying like a baby.
Frodo: What a wuss.
A little while later. . .
Pippin: I'm bored.
Merry: Me too.
Pippin: Let's go find Sam and make fun of him!
Frodo: Now that sounds like my idea of fun!!
Meanwhile. . .
Sam sings a silly song: Ozone Excavation, Mr. Ozone Excavation, That should've been my denomination, Mr. Ozone Excavation Cuz you can look right through me, Totally ignore me, And never know that I'm there. Never *clash* even *clash* KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!. i'm there.
*Authors' note: Hey, it rhymes!!
Voice in the shadows: You're an outcast from society too?
Sam: *gasp!* I've finally found someone I can identify with!!!
Romantic SIMs music comes on.
The figure steps into the light.
Sam: Oh my. you're so beautiful! You look just like me!!!
Sam from the Past: That's because I am you, lova!
FutureSam bursts into song: I've got a friend in me. I've got a friend in me. If I have troubles now. . . he'll get them too! Cuz I've got a friend in me. Yes I've got a friend in me!!!
It was love at first sight. From then on, they ate together, they bathed together, they even shared the same piece of mint flavored dental floss. Life was their burrito. Until, late one night. . .
PastSam: Sweetie pumpkin, can we both have loyalties to Frodo Baggins?
And FutureSam said: Whoa! Hold on there, baby! Mr. Frodo's not ready for that kind of commitment!!!
So they broke up and never saw each other again, but that's just the way things go.
In MI - I - I - I - DLE ER - EARTH!!!!!!!!!! In MI - I - I - I - DLE ER - EARTH!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways. . .
Pippin: Oh Samwise, what a big nose you have!
Frodo: (impersonating Sam) All the better to blow snot on you, my dear.
Merry: Oh Samwise, what a big rear you have!
Frodo: All the better to. . .
LPD #4: Now that's just gross!!
LPD #2: Keep it clean, boys, keep it clean.
Merry: How long have we been walking aimlessly in these woods, anyway?
Frodo: 'bout two hours.
Suddenly, the sound of a stampeding buffalo is heard.
Pippin: AHHH!! IT'S A STAMPEDING BUFFALO!!!!
Frodo: Naw, it's just Sam.
Pippin: How do you know?
Frodo: . . .
Merry: Well?
Frodo: . . . I promised I'd keep it clean.
Pippin: Ah.
Sam comes crashing through the trees making distressed buffalo noises.
Sam: WAAAHHHH *grunt grunt* WAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Frodo: Hello Sam.
Sam: My life is ruined, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!
Frodo: Finally! My life-long goal is accomplished!!
Merry, Pippin, and Frodo give each other high fives.
Sam: *sniff* *whimper* *grunt grunt*
Frodo: What's that I smell? I think it's. . .
Sam: Tomatoes!
Merry: Sausages!
Pippin: Nice crispy bacon!
Merry: That line sounds vaguely familiar.
Cut to scene in office building.
LPD #3: We are now going to examine the effects of de-ja-vu.
The telephone rings.
LPD #3: Hello? No thanks. I'll call you back. Bye.
LPD #2, dressed in a tuxedo, walks in and sets a glass of water on #3's desk.
Blackout.
LPD #3 is sitting at a desk.
LPD #3: We are now going to examine the effects of de-ja-vu.
Phone rings.
LPD #3: Hello? No. Goodbye.
#2 come in and gives #3 a glass of water.
Blackout.
#3 sitting at a desk.
LPD #3: We are now going to-
*ring*
LPD #3: AHH!!! Go away!!!!!
*water*
LPD #3: GAH!!!!! I can't take it anymore! I quit! No more de-ja-vu for me!!!!!
Frodo and LPD #1 peek in.
LPD #1: Is this room taken? All the Motel 6's were full.
LPD #3: Don't go in there, #1! That room's possessed!!! *runs away*
LPD #4: And now, back to our feature presentation.