Chapter 3: Sorry Story
It seemed that no matter what Sawyer and Milo did, they were always tripping over their words in front of each other, resulting in more apologies than should ever be uttered by one person.
"We have to stop apologizing to each other" Sawyer sighs, exasperated "I know we upset each other periodically but we're apologizing for the most mundane reasons too."
"I know…But what else are we supposed to say?" Milo shakes their head "Nothing?"
"Exactly that!" Sawyer exclaims "We have nothing to apologize for. Of course we say stupid things in front of each other. We trust each other AND are super nervous trying to be impressive."
"So when I say some stupid shit I should just…say nothing?" Milo raises an eyebrow- they're unconvinced.
"It's not that hard to understand Mi, what's really going on?" Sawyer asks.
"You know me, always overthinking. I just hate awkward silences and I see those as inevitable with this plan." Milo shrugs.
"Can't you just give it a try?" Sawyer pleads. Milo tries to resist their perfectly adorable begging eyes but fails miserably.
"Okay okay. I'll try." Milo promises "Really."
"Good. So what did you want to do today?" Sawyer asks.
"How would you feel about accompanying me to guide a soul to the after life?" Milo asks "Apparently I've been neglecting my duties."
"Can't have you getting in trouble. But isn't it a bit intimate?" Sawyer asks.
"I think that they won't mind, come on. Give it a try." Milo says.
"Alright. I must admit I'm a bit curious. I'm never going to die so this should be interesting." Sawyer smiles. Milo takes their hand and leads them around, finding a disconcerting number of souls claiming to be from the MerKingdom.
"Isn't there a girl at school who's the princess of this kingdom?" Milo asks quietly.
"Yeah, Miranda. She's as genocidal as her dad, steer clear of her." Sawyer warns. Milo nods as they come across a few more souls, even granting a few final wishes along the way. "So you're allowed to give them one last thing?"
"Yeah, usually. Depends where they're going and how they died. No final goodbyes though. Simple stuff like a great view or a visit to some fancy human place is usually okay." Milo shrugs "Do you have a bucket list?"
"Being immortal kind of makes those weird. You have an infinite amount of time to do everything. But I do have a list of things I'd like to do eventually." Sawyer admits.
"That's cool. I kind of like hearing other people's lists because it's things I'd never dream of, but doing it with all these souls is fun. Keep yours private though. I could make them happen, but I'd rather you try and let them happen more naturally first" Milo grins.
"Deal." Sawyer says "So you don't have one then?"
"I did before I died. I crossed off none of it." Milo admits "But I've done a lot since becoming a reaper."
"I really wish I could've made your living time better." Sawyer smiles softly "But at least this second life is better."
"It is. Well, I've done a fair share of reaping today. Why don't we head back to camp and do some crafts or something?" the reaper offers.
"Only if we make them for each other." Sawyer debates.
"Obviously. Come on, let's go!" Milo says, dragging Sawyer behind them excitedly. They get to Scout HQ and make macaroni portraits of each other, raising eyebrows at Scott who's glue keeps getting stuck to his hands. Eventually, Milo goes over and helps him, Sawyer giggling when their hand gets stuck to Scott's. Eventually, with Sawyer's help too, Scott finishes his portrait of…well they're not really sure, but he seems happy as he presents it to Coach.
"God, he's a lovable dork isn't he?" Milo laughs as they wash their hands free of macaroni dust and glue.
"When he's not pulling pranks with Polly. He's too gullible for his own good." Sawyer helps Milo with getting the glue off.
"You know I can tell that however she died was traumatic and her life wasn't perfect before that." Milo admits.
"Is that a reaper thing or just your observation?" Sawyer questions.
"A bit of both. I have a strict rule against figuring out our friends death causes against their will, but my reaper instinct tells me whether it was awful or not. Brian and Abdu died having fun, that's all I know. And obviously Liam got bit by a vampire so…" Milo shrugs "Polly is definitely dealing with her pain in her own way."
"Doesn't seem healthy." Sawyer says "I mean…I get the sense things weren't great for you. But you don't take it out on others."
"My social media presence, all that love and support and acceptance is healing for me, even if it's on the surface level." Milo reminds "though, I think now I realize real relationships without a screen are even better."
"I'm glad you've enjoyed your social media cleanse. I hope you know I won't be mad when you go back. Even if you did now." Sawyer says.
"Nah, Dahlia bet against me. I've got to beat her at something." Milo says determined "Say, uh, speaking of my life…
"Yeah?" Sawyer inquires.
"I think I'm finally ready to tell you how I died." Milo takes a deep breath "But let's do it somewhere private."
"The cabin?" Sawyer asks and Milo shakes their head "Wherever you want." Milo leads them back to the secret spot they found at the lake for their picnic. The lake is relatively empty, it being a rather cool day, so it's quiet in their little alcove.
"Are you sure about this?" Sawyer asks as Milo situated some driftwood for them to sit on.
"Definitely. Are you ready to hear it?" Milo chews their lip nervously.
"I'm a little scared, but yeah." Sawyer says "I'm honored too."
"Well…here it goes…" Milo says
American Suburbia, Some Years Ago
That was it. That was the final straw. Milo couldn't do it any more. There was no life left for them.
"You're going to this camp! It'll fix you." their parents said "Don't you want to be normal again?"
"I AM NORMAL." Milo argued "How can't you see that?"
"Because it's not true. The camp will lead you back to God's path." their mom said.
"How are you certain this isn't his path for me?" Milo echoed "He's the only one who knows, right?"
"Because this obsession with being other isn't natural." their father insists "You were born one way, and that's the only way you can be."
"Where in that God damn book did you read that?" Milo questions "Show me, I beg you, where in your perfect fucking book!"
"You will NOT speak this way in my house." Their father slaps them across the face "Don't make me get the belt."
"Don't bother. I'm leaving." Milo says, spitting out blood. They storm out the door, hopping on their rickety old bike and heading to the old abandoned swimming pool.
"What are you doing here tranny?" the local drug dealer says "Ain't I told ya you ain't welcome leas you bring good money?"
"I got your damn money asshat." Milo says pulling out a few hundred they'd stolen from their parents "What's the strongest shit you got for that?"
"You ain't gonna kill ya self with it are ya?" he asks.
"What's it to ya if I do?" Milo argues.
"Bad for business. Here's your money back. I don't like ya, but I ain't bout that." He says "Ya gonna have to do something else."
"Fuck you!" Milo says "At least give me a little weed man!"
"Alright alright, here. On the house. Now get outta here before you drive away business." He says "And look"
"What?"
"Don't go offing yourself. You're totally weird but ya make life interesting." He says.
"I appreciate it, but I really don't care what you think." Milo leaves, riding to the edge of town where an old skate park is closed after it was deemed too dangerous. There were nicer ones downtown, so Milo was the only person who still came here. They light up a joint and sit at the top of the bowl, pulling a razor blade from their pocket. They pull their phone from their other pocket. More MySpace messages urging them to do just what they're planning.
"Why are you still alive freak?" AnonymousCheerleaderXO
"No one like you deserves to live" OnWednesdayIWearPink5
"Do us a favor and die." HotJockMan22
A text buzzes from their parents
"You'll always be our daughter. Come home and accept Jesus."
"As if" Milo scoffs. They open the notes app and write their final message and turn the lock off on their phone. They'll know why. As if in cue, thunder roars and rain starts to fall. Lighting flashes in the distance. It's time. Milo doesn't even register as they inflict their final wounds. Their parents will find them later that night, but it will be too late.
"Milo I…" Sawyer says.
"We said no more sorrys."Milo whimpers as tears flood their eyes "Don't say you're sorry please."
"Okay, okay" Sawyer says, gathering the reaper into their arms as they cry."You're okay. You're here now. I'm here now. They can't hurt you anymore."
"I- I became a reaper because I had taken death into my own hands." Milo chokes out.
"Oh" Sawyer says "That's something…"
"Weird, I know." Milo sniffles "Hey, Sawyer?"
"Yeah?" Sawyer asks, currently wishing they could kill humans without violating their moral compass.
"I love you." Milo whispers.
"I…I love you too." Sawyer says, kissing Milo gently "I love you so much."
"So…ummm…how do you feel knowing how I…y'know…died?" Milo asks nervously.
"I understand why you were so hesitant to share." Sawyer admits "So are all reapers like you…died the same way?"
"No." Milo shakes their head "Some, but others were doctors, veterinarians, everyday heroes. I feel like I don't deserve to be among them."
"Well, the way you help people now certainly makes up for it." Sawyer says.
"Well, many of us, people like me, we wanted to help people when we got older. So no one had to be like us." Milo says "That's why we are among the few selected to be reapers."
"Aren't there alot of everyday heroes?" Sawyer asks.
"Sure. But it's always a choice for them. They can skip along to being angels I guess. People like me, this is the better choice." Milo explains.
"Well I'm sure glad that was your choice." Sawyer smirks and kisses Milo hard.
"Me too…me too." Milo says kissing back.