Angel: I keep hearing rumors that Fanfiction is gonna shut down. But if that was really the case, it would come from an official source, like from an administrator. Whoever started that rumor, it's probably not true. There's a reason why 'don't believe everything you read' is such a quotable statement. I can't even find anything confirming it.
"Like good food?" Jack slid in front of a Joe's Pizza logo. He was wearing a black leather jacket and some sunglasses over his face. "Like being popular? Then come to Joe's Pizza, where the popular kids eat good food. Especially at the cool table with the best view in the house." The cool table oversaw the whole restaurant. "See and be seen," He lifted up his sunglasses with a wink. "Joe's Pizza, where you've never felt so wanted, included, popular, celebrated, and don't forget the cool!" He blew a kiss while holding a pizza.
"No Jacks or Quints allowed," Quint suddenly spoke up. "Just because it's the apocalypse doesn't mean they're suddenly cool."
Thrull opened the door to Joe's Pizza. "Welcome." They stepped inside to find monsters everywhere.
"Ooh!" Jack and Quint said in awe. Monsters were talking, playing games, or eating. Jack stepped in first, followed by the others. One of them inserted a claw into the claw machine to try and get a plush. He laughed before managing to get it, walking away. The five looked around as they took everything in.
"Can you believe this?" June asked in excitement.
"I know. We're finally here!" Jack stated as they walked past tables. "This is where all the cool kids hung out!" He took a picture of them. "Where the coolest girl in school hung out!"
"Um, I meant the monsters," June corrected herself.
"Could've sworn we were done with the whole coolest girl in school thing," May rose an eyebrow and Jack rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry. Force of habit from...before this all happened."
While they stood for a few minutes, the monster who got the plush started touching Quint. "Hey, hey, hey, hey." Quint turned around and yelped in alarm as the monster revealed his tentacles. He backed away as both May and June stood nearby in defense.
"Are we about to get killed or eaten here?" Quint questioned as he looked around. "We, meaning me?"
"Whoa, whoa," Dirk stood between him and the monster. "Hands off the human dork. Go find a monster dork to-" Electric buzzing interrupted him and he looked towards a monster with sparking antenna. "What the-"
The monster crawled on all fours towards the group and they stared at it. "You two! It is your turn!" An orange one with an axe pointed at them. They immediately went over to her, both Quint and Dirk sighing in relief. The two monsters sat in front of her and she slammed down a fist. She and the one with the tentacles grabbed each other, struggling as they started wrestling it seemed. She tackled him to the ground and pumped a fist. "Ha ha! Skaelka is victorious!" She then turned towards the five, pointing at Dirk. "You! Big pink flesh man!"
"Uhh, I guess that's me?" Dirk asked in confusion, glancing around.
"I challenge you! Choose. Round of Arm Battle Face Smash or Who Decapitates Most Heads?" She asked while wrestling with the blue one. She held his head down on the table and he struggled to break free.
"Uhh, let me get back to you on that..."
Thrull groaned as he stood on a mini stage, giving off feedback from a microphone. "My fellow monstrous beings. Behold!" He gestured to a flying bat, who shined a spotlight on the five. "Humans!" It was completely silence until one of them with his mouth on his chest pumped his fists.
"Dinner!"
"Excuse me?" May narrowed her eyes in defense, a hand on her hip.
"Nope," June simply replied, crossing her arms.
"Uh, not dinner," Jack stepped up to explain. "But instead of eating us, which sounds fun, we could maybe be buddies?" He smiled nervously as all the monsters stared at them. "Hi," He gave a small wave.
"They are led by their chief captain, Jack," Thrull continued, pointing at the boy himself.
"Well, I don't know if I'd call myself the chief captain," Jack waved it off. "More like the one with most team spirit."
"Team being the operative word," June tried to remind him as the four looked annoyed with him already.
"The human, Jack, has slain Kerzueal!" Thrull announced, the monsters now looking interested as they surrounded Jack, who crossed his arms in a smug way.
"Yeah, we slayed Kerz-whatever. Here we just call him Blarg."
"Ha! This human's far too small and unpopular to slay Kerzueal!" The one with the mouth on its chest gestured to him. "If anything, that human could take on Kerzueal," He pointed at May, who flinched as she darted her eyes around.
"Technically, I did, but I didn't do it a-"
"Hey, big mouth!" Jack interrupted her and she gave a 'really' look. "Listen! We—oh, sorry, no offense," He waved his hands as he saw the mouth on the chest. "Was just saying we totally did, though, uh, with!" He held up his slicer, but knocked the bat onto a counter, two monsters laughing. "Oops."
One of them sniffed the slicer. "It indeed has the smell of Kerzueal."
"Thrull speaks the truth!"
"Yes! Jack is a hero!" Thrull stated, holding up his mic while the other monsters murmured.
"Yeah, I'm totally digging your impressed murmurs, but it wasn't just me," Jack defended, gesturing to his friends nearby. "My friends here helped, too-"
"Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!" Apparently no one listened to him and just started cheering. "Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack..." Jack smiled softly at their cheers.
"Hey! Food for the hero!" A monster chef came out of the kitchen. "You're gonna dig this. It's my old lady's recipe," He slithered forward with a laugh. "A feast fit for a slayer, and his odd little flunkies."
"Flunkies?" Quint asked in confusion, May leaning in towards him.
"That's probably not a good thing."
"All right!" Jack cheered at this and they all sat at the table.
"Pizza's here!"
"Pizza!"
The monster placed down the bowl...of what looked to be a stew. There was a monster skull and tentacles coming out from the bowl. "Umm, is that Chicago style?" Quint pointed down at it nervously as June sniffed it.
"That's not any style," She pinched her nose, waving a hand.
Dirk poked at it with a fork and it moved. May gagged, turning away while holding her stomach. "Nah, not eatin' that," He pushed it away.
"It's looking at me. I don't like it looking at me," May said in disgust as she briefly looked back.
"I suggest less declining and more dining, cause I don't see you slogging away over a stove, sweet cheeks," The monster chef held Dirk's cheeks mockingly. Dirk just laughed it off.
"You wanna cook, big dude?" He stabbed his fork into the table and stood up. "Let's cook...real food," He rolled up his sleeves and walked past the monster chef. The others just stared after Dirk.
"Oh, this dimension is gonna be fun," The monster chef slithered after him.
"Just please make it edible," May begged Dirk silently.
"Good!" Skaelka called out from her spot, holding her axe. "Victory makes Skaelka hungry," She smiled as she beat her opponent. The one with the mouth on its chest walked over, with a tiny pink monster on his shoulder.
"So, great leader Jack, when we go into battle, we sing a ballad of triumph and bone-crushing that demoralizes all who might oppose us. So, what is your battle song?" The pink little monster asked curiously," She turned to her friend. "I bet he has an amazing battle song."
"Ha! Alas, we do not have-"
"Uh, yeah," Jack interrupted Quint. "We big-time have a battle song."
"Oh, yeah?" May raised a brow, crossing her arms. "Then do remind us what it is, Jack," She gave him a pointed look. He looked around and saw a jukebox in the corner. He ran over and went through some tracks.
"Gladly, Maylin. A dark, mega heavy metal rock anthem!" He turned to the other monsters in a cocky way. "Warning, it's gonna blow your mind socks off!" He pressed a track and laughed...but then he heard the track.
Dumpling, dumpling
Snuggly cuddly dumpling
May and Quint busted out laughing upon hearing this.
Stretchy ball of dough
You taste so good
I'd like some more
"I am not familiar with the thing I'm hearing," The tiny pink monster spoke up.
"Dude," May laughed with her hands on her knees. She wiped away a tear. "My mom would sing that to me when I was a newborn! And at no other age!"
"I know! I know! Dumpling means death!"
"It burns my listening holes!" One of them shouted from the front. "I liked it!"
June chuckled as she gave a smug smirk. "Nice anthem, Jack."
"Wait, guys! That's not it!" Jack tried to explain, running over to the jukebox.
Dumpling! Dumpling!
Snuggly cuddly dumpling
He plugged out the cored and the music stopped. "From now on, Jack's anthem, Dumpling, will be sung on high!" One of the monsters announced, all the other monsters cheering. June laughed as Jack looked horrified.
"Wait! No! I...May, help," He silently said pleadingly and she held up her hands.
"Nope, this is your anthem, not mine," She grinned widely at him. "Should've thought twice about calling me Maylin," She remarked, earning giggles from both June and Quint.
"Ahh, never mind," He sagged his shoulders in defeat.
"Hey! Drinks are on me!" One of the monsters announced, squirting out liquid from his spikes into mugs. All the monsters cheered as they went over to him, no longer focusing on the battle anthem.
"Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!" All of them cheered for him.
"Come, Jack," Thrull waved him forward. "Sit beside me at this raised table of honor," He gestured to the cool kids table. "We must speak warrior to warrior," His eyes widened upon seeing it, letting out a gasp.
"The cool table..." He immediately followed Thrull over to it.
"You were the primary warrior, correct?" Thrull asked as he hopped over.
"Well, I guess a lot of the slaying was mostly me," Jack bragged to him.
"Yeah, if by you, you mean also us," Quint remarked in annoyance, glaring as the three looked on. "Hey! Wait up!" He ran over to Jack and May sighed, shrugging as she turned around to June while backing away.
"I'm...gonna see if I can set Jack straight," She said awkwardly; the two girls were in the same friend group, but out of the five, they definitely had the most tense friendship. June seemed to agree with her statement as she didn't protest, glancing at a monster walking past. She tapped her pen against her chin as she got curious about how they got here.
"I'm in the middle of the greatest story ever," She gushed while walking around. She took out her notebook. "I gotta get some interviews!" She stood in front of a three-headed pink monster. "Sirs? Ma'ams?" She couldn't tell if they were all female, male, or a combination of the two. "On the record, why come here to Joe's Pizza?"
"It's like the tavern we had back in our dimension," One of the heads answered her.
"It's nothing like that, you bonehead," A second one interjected angrily.
"I like pizza," The last one said.
"It was the first place we congregated as bounty hunters," The first one went back on subject.
"And warriors!" The second one added in.
"I like pizza."
"Okay, let's start with the easy stuff," June sat in front of one monster so tall that he couldn't fit inside the diner. So instead he sat outside by himself with his own table. "What's your name?" The monster just stared down at her without answering. "Okay. Uh, where do you come from?" He just scratched at his ear using his foot. "Hmm, maybe I'm not asking right," June deduced and stood up. "What be thy name, o large and terrifying creature?" Again, she got nothing in return and sat down with a pout.
Dirk put down pizza dough while in the kitchen with the chef monster. "Yeah! That's right. Papa says dance!"
Dirk looked up in confusion. "Dude, what? Are you talking to your dough?"
"Oh, yeah?" The monster asked while tearing out and mangling his dough. "Well, let's see how you wrangle an oozing egg sac, you two-armed flesh bag!" He retorted back.
"Hey, you have two arms, too," Dirk pointed out.
"That you know of," The monster remarked in a smug way. He summoned another arm to grab part of the egg sac and put it back onto the table.
Dirk just scoffed, waving a hand. "You may know egg sacs, but I know tossing dough. Watch and learn," He tossed it into the air...and the monster flung a tongue at it, eating it whole. Dirk frowned at him for this. "Come on, man, not cool."
The monster just laughed while Dirk grabbed another ball of dough, neither of them noticing a shadow moving past the window...
"Ooh!" Jack and Quint commented with big smiles once they reached the cool kids table.
"Please, have a seat with us," Thrull offered Jack just as May caught up with them.
"Quint!" Jack held his shoulders. "We're actually going to sit at the cool table! It's just like I always imagined," He looked at the monsters that stared at him. Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly as he imagined it, but it was still something he dreamed about. He and Quint both sat down. But as soon as Thrull took his spot, Quint got slid to the side and fell.
"Ah, guess I'll just sit here. It's fine," He retorted while crossing his arms as Jack didn't seem to pay attention. May offered her hand with a small smile and he took it, letting her help him up.
"Jack, this is Nandrew, Ber, and Bayurok, pronounced Bardle in your tongue," The monster with a scar over its lip opened his eyes, turning to Jack. "He was a conjurer in our dimension."
Quint leaned in towards Jack. "He doesn't seem as friendly as the others," He whispered to his best friend.
"Maybe that's just his face," Jack whispered back as Bardle glared at all three of them.
"I don't know about that," May sweated a little.
"Yo, what up?" Jack greeted casually with a finger gun, but Bardle didn't respond. "That means hello!" Jack shouted at him, waving his hands.
"I understood your meaning," Bardle answered, but in a nonchalant way. Jack smiled sheepishly at him.
"Oh. Dude, just say you speak human next time. Geez. So, uh, do you guys all come from, like, the same neighborhood or...?"
"That is a long tale," Thrull spoke up.
"Oh," Jack chuckled, waving a hand. "Never mind, then. You don't have to-"
"Bardle, tell Chief Captain Jack the long tale of our journey in this world," Thrull interrupted him and May recoiled back a bit.
"Chief Captain? Okay, that is so-"
Bardle placed down a stone and that made her refocus on that as she was trying to figure out what that was for. Quint and Jack both looked intrigued by it. Bardle then examined his coat before pulling out a quarter. He inserted it into the game machine that was built into the table, and video game music played as the lights dimmed. May looked around in confusion as she wondered how that happened. Black smoke came from the gem, showing a moving face. "In our dimension, there was a legend of Rezzoch the Ancient from the time before time, when great battles raged. But after an age, Rezzoch was defeated. Gone." A sword was shown slaying Rezzoch, showing the galaxy. "And for millennia, we lived in peace. Until one of Rezzoch's evil servants awakened her spirit."
"Ah, crud. It only takes one bad apple. Am I right?" Jack asked casually with his arms crossed.
"Indeed. Only one. Rezzoch was renewed, and now wielded magic more powerful than we had ever known. In her long sleep, her hunger had grown. At the peak of Rezzoch's power, our world turned dark and doors opened in the sky, portals of energy. We were drawn in. The wild vines, the undead who carry and spread the zombie plague, all of us, in an instant, through a thousand doors, we arrived in your world." The illusions were sucked back into the gem, the lighting turning back to normal.
"Hey, yeah, I saw one of those energy portal gate thingies at school," Jack remembered, pointing at them. "Wait, did this Rezzoch dude come through one of those too?" He heard slurping and turned to the little pink monster. "Is that him?!" He pointed at the monster. May just facepalmed at this.
"You feeble-minded fool no!" Bardle slammed down a fist. "The doors closed before she could come through."
"We are fortunate to have escaped Rezzoch's rule," Thrull spoke up. "But now we are trapped in this strange foreign world."
"So, uh, are we safe from this Rezzoch?" Quint asked nervously.
"Is there a way she can come back?" May questioned next in a serious tone.
"For now..." Bardle looked away. "As for the second question...not unless she has a key of great power."
"And we owe you for defeating Blarg, Jack," Thrull held up his mug. "He was a servant of Rezzoch."
"Happy to take care of it for you. No biggie," Jack lightly shrugged while May and Quint both glared at him.
"Ooh! Ooh! Tell us about it!" Some monsters immediately pushed away Quint and May onto the ground to stand near Jack.
"Whoo-hoo!"
"Oh! Well, first, I was like, 'What's up, Too Ugly For Words'? And Blarg played all tough, you know, like Blargs do," Jack started off in dramatic fashion. "But then I fixed that sitch quick, right, guys?"
Quint and May pulled themselves up. May growled as her braid was a mess from them basically getting trampled. Not only that, but he was taking all of the credit now. "You're forgetting the part where-"
"Just Jack!" One of the monsters pushed them to the side aggressively. "Why do you make us wait?"
"All right!" He grinned at all the monsters. He then stood up on the table. "First, I went into battle mode. It's a thing I do."
"Uh, that's not quite how it happened-" Quint was interrupted by a monster pushing past him. May was lying on the ground, annoyed. Quint turned around and helped her up. "Are you okay, May?"
"Define okay after being pushed aside by several monsters," She deadpanned as she undid her braid, revealing medium-length hair that stopped just above her back. Quint stared in awe as she swished her hair around just by shaking her head to make it neater.
"Blarg didn't stand a chance," Jack held up a fist into the air. In his fantasy, he landed with a boom in front of the treehouse. Blarg appeared and roared.
"Ooh! Ooh! Did you crush his bones?" The tiny pink monster asked in excitement.
"Duh! Almost all of 'em."
"Did you laugh with delight?" One of them asked next.
"Yep! Two times!" Jack ran up to Blarg while holding a cool weapon and jumped up, knocking him down. He laughed in delight two times.
"Ha ha! Did you make a stew out of him?" The one with the mouth on his chest then questioned.
"Man, you know I-" Jack then realized what he said, stopping immediately. "Oh, uh, no, I didn't do the stew thing." In his fantasy, his weapon then blasted Blarg into pieces. "And I did it all by myself! Yeah-ha-ha!"
"What?" May asked in anger, stopping herself from fixing her braid as she clenched her fists.
"I have heard enough from the human," Bardle spoke up, standing up and leaving.
"What's the deal with Sir Sourpuss?" Jack wondered as he watched him leave.
"Pay no mind to Bardle, for we must speak, you and I."
May growled as she watched them leave. "You know what? Fine, if he wants to get all the attention, he can have it. If he comes crying to us, I'm definitely not gonna help him!" She turned to Quint and blinked as he saw her staring. She blushed as she realized her hair was still down and she cleared her throat.
"Quint?"
"What?" He snapped out of it and then remembered what she said. "Oh! Yeah, he's no friend of ours!"
She gave a small chuckle as she started rebraiding her hair. "Right."
"You don't miss being at the cool kids table?" He couldn't help but wonder.
"Mm, nah," May waved it off once she was done. "They just weren't my kind of people," She shrugged a bit.
"So then why were you even hanging out with them?"
"...I'd rather not answer that," She looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. "Just because I sat at the cool kids table doesn't mean I always enjoyed it."
"Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't know it was so hard for you."
"It's okay, Quint," She gave a small smile. "It's in the past now."
He gave her a smile back. "Though, I do have to ask...why do you and June not get along?"
May blinked and then sighed slowly, glancing back at June before looking back at him. "Look, don't bring this up to her, but...she and I actually used to be friends ever since we were 6. We'd play together all the time until dinner, we'd tell each other everything. Even when I used to get bullied sometimes, she'd always stick up for me. We...we were kinda like you and Jack," She smiled weakly.
"So what happened?" He raised a brow at her.
"You know...over time, we just fell out of touch," She rubbed the back of her neck. "We had different interests going into middle school, we both matured a bit. I started doing clubs, cheerleading, and all that. She was more interested in her own things, and it just didn't really work. We also started getting competitive over who was better liked in school, and her getting the spot for the editor of the paper was one of those times. We went from friends to enemies in no time flat, so having to hang out with her...gets a little dicey at times. Hence why I don't like her, and she doesn't like me."
"That's not true. Everybody liked you, you were the coolest girl in school!"
She chuckled at his statement. "Thanks, but even well-liked people have their haters, and June became one of them."
"Well, I'm sure you two will become friends eventually," He said optimistically, and she winced. Right now, it was a tough call...
Two monsters were playing arcade games, and June was asking the both of them questions. "Did all your arms make it to this dimension?" She asked the orange one. "If not, how do you feel about that?" She paused as the monster stopped.
"Being filled with liquid must have been difficult as a child," She talked next to a green one and he whimpered, starting to cry. "Tell me more." He then started outright sobbing, with his liquid spewing out again. "Oh! Sorry," She wrote this down while other monsters got a refill.
"Yeah?" Dirk laughed at the chef monster in the kitchen. "Well, you're awful cocky for a guy with more arms than taste buds."
"Eat that!" He tossed pizza dough and Dirk ducked his head. He looked back as it hit the window. "Primitive human baby."
"Hey, who are you calling a baby, bud?" Dirk demanded him as something approached the back door.
"One more word-"
"You're the one who's throwing stuff!" A screech was heard from outside, but neither of them heard it over their arguing.
Quint, Jack, and May sat across from Thrull, who put down a strange-looking book. All of them looked in awe, though May and Quint were still annoyed at Jack a bit. The book shook a little until opening on its own and flipping through pages. One of them stopped on a page that had a outline for what looked to be a tooth.
"Whoa!" Jack got a closer look.
"Oh! A bestiary! Like ours!" Quint held up his bestiary.
"Not like yours," Thrull argued back. "This is a true bestiary, from my world." May silently rolled her eyes at this, but if Thrull saw it, he didn't point out. "It is a gift for defeating Blarg. Unfinished, and for you to fill. This is, in your tongue, the ultimate quest."
"Ultimate quest!" Jack commented in awe.
"For each creature in this book, you must obtain its essence. It could be a single hair, a drop of sweat. Each one is unique. The book will show you exactly what it needs."
"Whoa! This is awesome, Thrull!" Jack smiled happily and stood up. "I promise we will crush this quest!"
"Thanks anyway, Thrull. But like I said earlier, we already have our own, with Jack's photos and my research," Quint held it up. Thrull then looked to May, who shook her head no silently, agreeing with Quint. Something just...felt a bit off about Thrull, but she had no idea why.
"Guys!" Jack whispered to them. "This one comes from actual monsters, and it has, like, squashed eyeballs in it! That makes it cooler!" He hugged it and Quint looked down sadly at his own. May patted his shoulder in comfort.
"...Indeed."
Skaelka was sharpening her axe with one of the baby rock monsters, who seemed to enjoy it as it giggled. June was sitting in front of her. "This Rezzoch the others talk about, how bad is he? I mean, really?"
"Ooh, as bad as a Gorgaktu turned inside out! But with screaming forever!" Skaelka laughed a bit. "On fire!"
"...Okay, that bad, huh? With screaming forever," She jotted that down. "So, um, other than us, have you seen any other humans? Older ones?" Skaelka raised a brow in questioning. "Who kinda look like me?"
"No," She shook her head.
"No one here has," June looked down in dismay. "Darn..."
"While we talk of humans, what of this Jack? Why is he chief captain?" Skaelka couldn't help but wonder.
"He's not our leader, he's our friend," June corrected her immediately.
"Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!" She glanced back as all the other monsters cheered for him. He was just basking in the glory while holding up the bestiary. May placed a hand on her cheek, annoyed from his behavior.
"But you wouldn't know it with the way he's acting," June added in.
"Then why posture like one?" Skaelka asked her.
"That's how boys are in this dimension, kind of. Jack's enjoying being the center of attention, is all. I get it," She rolled her eyes. "But he doesn't have to throw us under the bus for it." Skaelka raised a brow at her. "What I mean is, we're...well, I don't know what we are, but Jack calls us a family. And honestly, I don't know if I consider May over there family."
"I do not understand this word," Skaelka confessed to her.
"Monsters don't know what family is?" June asked in disbelief. "You know, uh, what you turn to when you're in trouble."
"Ah!" She held up her axe. "Axe! Axe is family!" She then banged it against the table, the little rock monster giggling. June just sighed at Skaelka not getting it.
"So, what did you do when Blarg started crying like a fresh hatchling?" One of the monsters asked from the crowd.
"I showed no mercy!" Jack bragged to the crowd. "I showed less than mercy. I showed...negative zero mercy!" He imagined taking down Blarg in a knight's outfit, the monster falling down. "And once I'd vanquished the beast, I called down to my sidekicks. 'Saddle up, we ride'." He marched off on horses with them.
"Wait!" Jack paused as he heard Quint's voice.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop everything," May waved her hands.
"Sidekicks?!"
"Umm..." He glanced back at the two nervously.
"You know what?" Quint stood up in anger. "Have fun with your new friends, Jack, since you've become one of them. A monster!" He then stormed off, May glancing back to glare at him as she followed after Quint. He then came back and pointed at Jack. "A fame monster!"
"Oh, you hear that? The helpless one has declared it. Jack is a monster! Just like us!" A monster seemed to agree with Quint. "Nineteen cheers for Monster Jack!"
They all cheered and before Jack could process what just happened, he was taken away by all the monsters, Thrull smiling at him. They all threw him up into the air.
"Yes! Okay! That's enough!" Jack covered his mouth with his hands. "Now I'm getting sick!"
Quint and May went over to June as she smiled at them. "Hey, guys! I got some interesting info from some of these guys!" They sat down across from her, looking bitter.
"Well, here's a news flash for you, Journalist June. Jack just declared us his sidekicks!"
"WHAT?!" June asked angrily and May leaned back, her arms crossed.
"It's true. He said he stopped Blarg himself," She grunted as she looked just as angry as June.
"From now on, May is now my best friend!" Quint lunged forward and hugged her. She stiffened as a blush came to her face. She darted her eyes around as June raised an eyebrow at her behavior. May just chuckled nervously, pushing Quint away.
"I'm sure he'll realize how stupid he's being..." She rubbed the back of her neck and Quint realized what he did.
"Oh! I'm so sorry, May, I should've asked if you were okay with it."
"It's fine, really," She smiled a bit. "It just caught me off guard, that's all."
A piece of cheese came to life and the chef monster caught it. Dirk was putting something into a bowl and he reached for the cheese grater. "Ah, keep dancing, cheese wad," He put it onto his cutting board. "I'm the one with the chef's hat. And that mean-" He attempted to cut it, but the living cheese jumped away from him. This frustrated the monster as he forcibly grabbed it and flung it onto the window.
"Dude, don't give up!" Dirk tried to encourage him. He opened up the oven to take out his pizza. "Our cheese just moves around a lot less than yours, and doesn't yell at us." The cheese wad blubbered angrily, shaking a fist.
"Buttchunks!" The monster slammed down a fist in disbelief. "The human succeeds where I fail," He then outright left the kitchen, slamming the door. Dirk just stared for a few seconds for something banged on the door nearby.
"What the...?"
A giant bug monster entered the kitchen, eating the cheese wad and landing in front of Dirk. He gasped and was so shocked...that he dropped the pizza onto the ground. "Whoa!" He stepped back as the bug monster attacked him. He tossed the pizza pan, but that did nothing as the monster raised a claw. Dirk grabbed some flour and hit the monster with it. He looked back to see the monster still going on strong. "All right!" Dirk removed his gloves, looking to the side to see some sausage links. As the monster attacked, he jumped over the claw and grabbed the sausage. The giant beetle attacked the fridge and Dirk flung the sausage like nunchucks. "Sausage slam!" He hit the monster in the face with them. The bug then sliced the sausage into pieces. Dirk looked up as it screeched and then ripped off the fridge door. He yelped and moved to the side, grabbing a bucket. "Eat yeast!" He tossed it into the bug's mouth. The bug then ate it and yeast came out of his mouth, causing him to grow bigger. "Oh, right, yeast expands," Dirk realized why the bug did this. He backed away with a nervous smile on his face. "My bad!"
The bug lifted up its head, green goo coming from it. Dirk yelped and grabbed a cooking pan from the shelf nearby. The bug fired acid as Dirk held up the pan in front of his face and the acid hit the door. He looked at the burned pan. "Uh, chef monster dude?" He glanced behind him, backing away to the door. "You still around? Could use a little back-up here! Okay, time to call in the dorks."
He ran over to the double doors and opened them, glancing to the trio. "Guys! Problem! Kitchen! Now!"
They glanced at each other and saw the bug drag Dirk back inside. They rushed over while Jack was still soaking in the attention. "Huzzah! Huzzah!"
June and Quint slammed open the doors to see Dirk on the ground, using a pot to hold the bug back. It looked up and screeched at them. May swooped in from the window that overlooked the diner. She rushed over and flipped before landing on the bug's arm with her legs facing it. She used her momentum to kick the bug in the face, landing as she watched it hit the wall. She helped up Dirk as the bug shook its head, snarling at them.
"Dirk! Arms up!" June called out and Dirk held out his arm in front of the bug. June used her spear to push the pot into the bug's mouth. Dirk ran over to get the spatula, Quint grabbing some oven mitts and a spatula. May flicked her hands to make her shovel claws appear. The bug attacked the girls, but they used their weapons to hold it back, pushing against it. Dirk landed on a table and they all charged at the same time.
"No, that was after I did the six back flips," Jack bragged to all the monsters. "See, I grabbed the thing by its tail and-" Suddenly the shelf was flung out of the kitchen, landing on the floor, with Quint inside it. He got onto his feet as May pushed open the door. "Quint?" He asked in confusion as the boy ran past some monsters. He grabbed May's hand and pulled her back into the kitchen. Lots of stuff was being thrown around inside the kitchen. "Uh, excuse me, fellas. Time to go do super heroic Jack stuff," He took out his slicer and ran towards his friends. "Excuse me, pardon me. I'm on my way!"
Skaelka glanced back at him as he went through the double doors. "The odor of evil hands in the air. Oh, I will decapitate it for them!"
"Hold," Bardle stood in front of her, holding up a hand. "Let us see how this human, Jack, truly handles battle."
"Okay," She sagged her shoulders in disappointment. A crash was heard and several monsters gasped upon hearing it.
"Don't worry, folks," Jack grinned as he made his presence known. "Your hero has arr-" He screamed as he saw what was attacking. Quint and May stood on a counter while Dirk was holding a leg and June was hanging from the bug's mouth, which had a hold of her spear.
"Well, if it isn't Jukebox Jack. Glad you decided to drop in," June gritted her teeth at him.
"Okay, first of all, the songs were numbered wrong," He held up a finger in defense. "And B, I didn't know there was a giant bug monster kicking your butts!"
"Uh, that's because we didn't tell you," May rolled her arm as Quint held a jar.
"You didn't know because you were too busy sacrificing your friends to be popular!" Quint tossed a jar of tomato sauce at the monster. He grabbed another one and threw it up into the air. May did a handstand and kicked it at the bug monster. "You called us sidekicks!"
"What?! I'd never do that!" Jack waved it off, gasping as he remembered the conversation he had with Quint earlier. "Holy fudge wiggle sticks, I totally did," He scratched his head and then got flour thrown onto him. He gave a deadpan look to May, who blew a raspberry in return. He saw that his friends were in trouble. Dirk hit the bug on the head, making him drop June and her spear. He punched it again and jumped out of the way as June spun her spear, smacking the bug in the face. Quint tossed more jars at the bug while May frontflipped, flipping until she reached the monster and kicked it in the chest. She, June, and Dirk jumped towards the bug. "You guys are not sidekicks!" He grabbed his fallen slicer. "I'm gonna make it up to you!"
He slipped on some tomato sauce from the floor, falling on his back and dropping his slicer. He looked up in a panic and then the bug monster grabbed him by the leg, throwing him around. "Guys? Ah! A little help here," He called out, but they didn't respond as Quint glared at him.
"Are you sure you want help from your sidekicks?" Quint retorted back.
"Or more attention if you take all the credit?" May crossed her arms, raising a brow.
"No, I don't!" Jack yelled, hitting the bug in the face. He then turned to the others with a smile. "I want help from my teammates, from my friends." Quint then smiled at him, the others reacting in the same way.
"All right. We let the fish dangle on the hook long enough," Dirk dropped the spatula and then ran forward, swinging his fist upwards. Jack yelped as Quint spun a spoon into his hand, tossing cookie dough from the counter at the bug's face. Dirk moved back as June tossed a pizza slicer at the bug's arm, causing him to drop Jack into May's arms. The bug swung around in all directions and Jack winced. May swung around and tossed him to Dirk and she spun around in a 360 spin, knocking the bug onto the ground. She then flipped and slid to a stop in front of Quint.
"Thanks, guys," Jack said gratefully and Dirk dropped him. "Okay, I deserved that," He rubbed the back of his behind.
"You can thank us later with a big fat apology pizza," June held his slicer in front of him.
"And some milkshakes to boot," May added in.
"Okay, I might just actually hate you a little less now," June chuckled at her. Jack smiled as he took the weapon, the bug wiping off the cookie dough and getting onto his feet.
"Guys?" Quint asked nervously and then saw some baking soda on a shelf. He glanced to the fire extinguisher and then the oven. "I have got a plan!" The bug screeched and Quint made a run for it. "Go!" The bug knocked Dirk and Jack to the ground, going for May and June next. They held it back with their weapons, getting lifted up into the air. The bug then threw them onto the ground. Dirk leapt forward and tackled it while Jack went for the fire extinguisher.
Quint ran for the ketchup bottle, opening it up. He opened the other condiments and poured baking soda into all of them with a smirk. He grabbed all three bottles, glancing back at the salt and pepper. The bug crawled onto the table. "Dirk!" Quint shouted to him and he looked up. The boy tossed the bottle into Dirk's hand.
"Hey, you! Spice up your life!" Dirk tossed the pepper into the bug's face, causing him to sneeze. It opened up its wings, Jack staring at the gooey back while holding the fire extinguisher.
"Now, Jack!" June called out.
"Oh, man," He pouted as he ran forward, jumping onto the table and jumping onto the back. "Eww! Are you seeing this? This is how you guys mean to me?" He stuck the fire extinguisher in the back, pushing it down. The bug shrieked in pain.
"Dirk! How's that oven?" June called out as she and May got up.
"Pre-heated and ready!" He grinned widely as he opened it.
"Baking soda blasters are ready!" Quint handed June and May a bottle.
"Launch!" They threw them at the bug and Jack stared at them.
Heat from the oven activates the extinguisher material combined with creature's natural acid and Quint's baking soda to make it expand with gas and foam like a science fair volcano! Eh, don't ask me how it works. It's all Quint.
"It's working!" June smiled happily along with the others. "He's expanding!"
Jack jumped off the bug, rolling to the ground as the bug did indeed get bigger. He then exploded, some of the remains spraying onto everyone. They looked at the messy kitchen as the cheese ball landed and shouted in anger.
"Ah, man, my spear!" June complained as it was stuck in the liquid. It broke apart to reveal that it had changed to be a different color and sharper. "It's ruined!" She slammed it against the floor, causing a crack to appear.
"It isn't ruined! It's upgraded!" Jack smiled at her.
"There's that loud team spirit of yours," June punched his arm a bit.
"Huzzah!" All the monsters cheered from outside. Well, everyone except Bardle. "Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!"
"To Jack and his family!" Skaelka raised her axe.
"Definitely better than sidekicks," Quint grinned at Jack.
"Agreed," He nodded in agreement.
They stepped out of the diner, seeing a zombie stuck to the patio. "Hey! We got our own zombie doorman," Jack pointed at him. "Keep rocking that fence, Bruce!"
"Bye, Bruce!" June waved to him.
"Yeah, later, Brucie!"
"Shame you couldn't enjoy the pizza!" Quint added in.
"Delicious as always!" May waved and then elbowed Quint a bit. "That was some nice thinking back there, Quint."
"Oh! Well, all in a day's work," He rubbed the back of his neck with a smile.
"Uh, you got a little something..." June reached behind his hair to take out a small antenna.
"Hey! It's one of the antennas from the exploded kitchen monster thing," Jack took out the bestiary, placing it on the page next to the monster's picture. "Ah, yeah, matches perfectly!" They all got into Big Mama. "This'll now officially be the best quest ever-" A loud screech was heard, interrupting him as they all froze. They looked around in alarm. "What...was that?"
"And where did it come from?" June added in. They heard it again, looking terrified as they looked out the windows. The screeching was heard again, and as zombies walked around, they all turned and headed for the screeching. Bardle watched and looked to the side...