(May 1986)
"Sadie?"
"Mm?"
"What uh—what are you doing?"
"I'm—getting ready for school," Sadie mumbles, the conviction behind the words clearly lacking, despite her best efforts to pretend like this was just another ordinary day. But it wasn't. Nothing about it was ordinary, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise.
Sadie is remotely aware of how Eddie seems to realize the direction her thoughts are taking without her ever saying a word of them out loud, her shoulders sagging as he stands from his former position perching on the edge of his bed, and moves toward her to pull her against his chest in next to no time at all.
"I think you've earned the right to miss a day, Sweetheart."
"But there was a quiz in—"
"Sadie. Look at me."
Reluctantly, Sadie does look up at Eddie, biting into her lower lip to keep still more tears at bay, because a part of her is more than a little terrified he will eventually tire of her wayward emotions and send her on her way. Some small voice at the back of her mind assures her that will never happen, but she isn't exactly rational enough to hear it, right now…
Of course, as soon as she meets Eddie's gaze, and realizes he's reaching forward to brush the pad of his thumb against a stray tear slipping its way down her cheek, she realizes she is a fool to doubt him, whether in a rational frame of mind or not.
"You need to take some time for yourself, 'kay?"
"I—I can't."
"Wanna maybe think about telling me why?"
Frowning, Sadie averts her gaze, though the act is short lived when Eddie lifts his other hand to place a finger beneath her chin, his expression nothing but curious—reassuring—in spite of how that is the very last thing she feels she deserves.
"I don't know, I just—I feel like I need to—to keep moving."
"Well we can do that in plenty of other places besides school," Eddie suggests, knowing that anything even remotely connected to the high school is the very last thing she needs, even though Sadie does not seem to be aware of such a thing, on her own, "In fact, I can think of a few places that—"
"Why?"
"Hmm?"
"Why are you—doing this?" Sadie asks, pulling away from Eddie, even though she feels curiously chilled as soon as she gains some distance between them. She doesn't understand it. Why he is being so good to her after everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours alone.
But even with that doubt, Sadie would be a liar to pretend she didn't want to cling to Eddie's kindness for as long as she could. For as long as he would let her.
Even if it was still more proof of the kind of selfish person she had become.
"You mean why am I helping someone who's clearly going through a tough time? Maybe because I happen to care about that someone."
"You shouldn't."
"And why is that?"
Sadie doesn't exactly have an answer to that question, her feet carrying her on instinct over to Eddie's bed so she can sink down on the edge of the mattress while she tries to think of anything to say. She doesn't want to inadvertently end up upsetting Eddie, or making him finally see her for the self-pitying fool she really is.
It feels so much like she is using him as a means of escaping her own grief but Sadie knows if he were to turn away from her now, she would never be able to recover.
She would never survive the absence of his friendship, when it seems to be the only thing keeping her capable of standing on her own two feet.
"I can't—I can't do this to you."
"Woah. Do what?" Eddie inquires, some of the ease he had been hoping to display for Sadie's benefit falling away as a newfound sensation, not all that far from abject panic, took its place. He can't shake it. The feeling that she's pulling away. That he's losing her already, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.
Her expression has gone curiously void, ordinarily lively brown eyes a flatter shade that has him on edge, though absolutely none of that can prepare him for what she says next.
"I can't use you to run from something I—something I failed to stop."
Sadie is on her feet before Eddie can fully wrap his mind around her words, his brow furrowing as he tries to see the logic behind them, and fails all around. She can't possibly think she's using him. That any part of him allowing her to stay in the trailer was done unwillingly. But as he tries to come out of his confused distraction, he realizes she is already heading back to the door of his bedroom, sheer dumb luck alone allowing him to move to grab for her wrist before she can make a clean escape.
"Sadie, stop."
"Eddie—Eddie, let me—let me go."
"No."
"Ed—"
"No," Eddie repeats, his grip gentle, but nonetheless insistent as he keeps Sadie with him, in spite of how obvious it is that she wants to pull away. He forces himself to believe that this isn't personal. That she isn't getting cold feet after spending too long with the town freak, because she's just lost a friend, and that reality is clearly more important than anything about him ever could be.
What he needs to focus on, now, is being whatever she needs him to be. Getting her to see that even if she thinks she's forcing him into this, nothing could ever be farther from the truth.
"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what this is really about."
There. He'd said it.
Hopefully it didn't wind up biting him in the ass.
Sadie remains silent for a moment, her gaze dropping down to where Eddie's hand has snagged her wrist, some small part of her marveling at how gentle he is being, when she is accustomed to so much worse. Any time Andy tried to stop her from leaving a room, she wound up with bruises to show for it, later.
But Eddie wasn't Andy. He wasn't anywhere close. He wasn't going to hurt her.
By the looks of things, he only wanted to help.
"I just—you don't owe me anything. You don't," Sadie blurts, aware of the momentary confusion in Eddie's eyes, and yet pressing herself to continue going on, regardless, "And I can't just take advantage of your kindness to make myself feel better."
"Jesus Christ, Sadie, that's—"
"It's true."
"It's insane," Eddie corrects, almost immediately aware that the statement is the very epitome of the wrong choice of words, a wince passing over his features as Sadie seems completely incapable of looking him in the eye, "Look, that's not—I just meant it's not the way I see it. Not even close."
"You—you're sure?"
"Shit, sweetheart, why wouldn't I be?"
"Because I—I know everyone is going to say I killed Chrissy. By—by doing nothing."
"Want to know what I say to that?"
"S—sure."
"Fuck them."
"Eddie!"
"I'm serious. Fuck them," Eddie repeats, the words surprisingly serious, given how Sadie is very well aware of how he tends to look at any opportunity to rebel against the majority of the town's inhabitants as some sort of a joke. His hand is cupping her cheek again, and she leans into the warmth of his palm before she can even think to stop it…
Something that has Eddie's mouth twitching up a bit at the corner, though Sadie can tell he is trying to stop it with all that he has.
"I don't deserve you, Eddie Munson."
"Think you've got that the other way around, Sweetheart."
"No. No, I really don't," Sadie insists, still not entirely sure why Eddie is so hell-bent on helping her, in spite of how she knows she is not about to complain. He's already pulling her back toward him, and she is not about to resist the urge to simply let him.
Truthfully, she would be content to remain exactly like this, Eddie's arms around her holding her close while she listens to the steady beating of his heart, but then he wouldn't be Eddie if he didn't do something to derail all of her carefully laid plans in next to no time at all.
"What would you say to a little field trip?"
"A—where?"
"Don't know yet. But I have an idea," Eddie replies, this time not even bothering to hide his grin, since it seems to be working so well in getting Sadie to veer away from the sadness that held her in its grip only moments before. Some of the life is returning to her eyes, and Eddie likes to think he is at least partially responsible for that.
And as Sadie nods, the smallest hints of the smile he loves so much making an appearance, Eddie knows he will do absolutely anything he can to make sure it never goes away again.
…
(Present Day)
"Mama, look!"
Turning to follow the direction of her daughter's outstretched hand, Sadie smiles as soon as she sees what Chrissy is so intent upon. They'd been perusing aisles in the grocery store for a little over fifteen minutes already, despite Steve's insistence that she didn't need to buy him anything to make up for having two extra mouths to feed before she left to do exactly that. After grabbing a few bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, as well as some apples and bananas, they had ventured over to the snack aisle, and now, with Chrissy eyeing the assortment of pretzels displayed to their right, Sadie can honestly say she ought to have seen this coming.
The four year old has been obsessed with pretzels ever since she could safely eat them, and Sadie always made sure there was a spare bag on hand, even in spite of Andy's near constant complaints about how he absolutely refused to eat them…
Clearly, if he didn't like them, Sadie and Chrissy shouldn't, either.
"I'm guessing you want some?"
"Please?"
Sadie has a few bags in the cart in next to no time at all, some sort of almost forgotten instinct kicking in as she moves out of the snack aisle and turns to venture down the next, instead. She wants to do something to thank Steve for what he's done. For taking her, and her daughter in when there is absolutely every chance it could blow up in his face, regardless of her careful attempts to prevent that.
It isn't until she meanders over to the meat counter that the full realization of what she is doing sinks in, her entire body freezing, and causing another shopper to veer sharply around her to avoid a collision as a result.
The last time she did this—the last time she put this much effort into preparing a meal for someone—had been before she ever left Hawkins at all.
As soon as the memory resurfaces, the fluorescent lighting overhead glints off of the ring Chrissy now wears on a chain around her neck, the little girl's reluctance to abandon it having prompted Sadie to remove a locket Andy had given her from a chain of its own as a form of compromise before they left for the store. Her blood seems to have gone cold, and goosebumps are prickling against the skin of her arms.
Sadie is only dimly aware of Chrissy's concerned murmuring as she reaches for her from her seat in the shopping cart, until another voice hollers at her and sends her attention crashing back to the present in next to no time at all.
"Shit! Sadie? That really you?"
"I—guilty."
"Shit," Gareth repeats, abandoning his own shopping cart and moving to pull Sadie into a firm embrace, her eyes blown wide in surprise as a result. The gesture has caused the healing cracked ribs, and lingering bruising on her sides from her last encounter with Andy to twinge in protest, though she is careful to keep her expression from showing any of her discomfort, regardless.
She isn't entirely sure what to do about yet another appearance from the past, particularly with the ill-timed memory that had plagued her mere moments before, but just as she is prepared to try and come up with some reason for a hasty departure, Gareth is speaking again, absolutely nothing but the same familiar excitement she remembers him showing before campaigns apparent in his tone.
"Gotta say, I never thought I'd see you again."
"I never—I never really expected to be back," Sadie admits, hardly daring to trust that the apparent lack of judgment is anything that can possibly last. If Gareth knew about what had happened before she left—what she had inadvertently destroyed, for him, as much as Eddie—he wouldn't be so genuinely pleased to see her…
And yet, here he is, grinning at her like they're still the absolute best of friends, his attention only wavering as Chrissy manages to execute an honestly perfectly timed sneeze.
"And who's this pretty little lady?"
"Chrissy. My—my daughter."
Sadie can see the myriad of unspoken questions Gareth must have as he allows that bit of information to sink in, but they seem to fade quickly enough as soon as he gets a glimpse of what her little girl is wearing around her neck, recognition flaring in seconds as he summons a smile for her, and a gentle ruffle of the curls on top of her head before turning back to Sadie, instead.
"You see Eddie yet?"
"Just—just last night, actually," Sadie says, opting for complete and total honesty even in spite of the flare of apprehension that coils around her heart in response to Gareth's next words.
"Bet he's happy to have you back."
"I don't—I'm not really sure about that."
"C'mon, why wouldn't he be? The guy like—never stopped talking about you."
Sadie doesn't know what to say to that, her cheeks warming beneath the earnest nature of Gareth's gaze until she is forced to look away. She can't bear the idea of him asking more questions. Getting closer and closer to the truth. But she also doesn't know how to divert the topic of conversation to something safer without appearing rude.
Once again, Sadie is beginning to doubt the wisdom of her decision to come back to Hawkins, but before she can travel too far down that road, Gareth seems to pick up on the need for a change in topic, and makes the necessary corrections on his own.
"Listen, we've got a gig this Saturday. Same place as always."
"The Hideout?"
"That's the one," Gareth confirms, grinning once again, and leaning forward almost conspiratorially, before going on, "Nine o'clock. You should come."
"Well I don't know that I can—"
"Bring this little princess, too. She'll love it."
"Really? Metal? For kids?" Sadie teases, unable to resist the small grin that breaks free even in spite of the lingering bolt of apprehension that plagues her at the thought of seeing Eddie again, no matter how she can't exactly pretend a part of her does not want exactly that.
"Gotta get 'em started on the right track sooner or later. Think of it as—making sure she's got good taste at a young age."
"Right."
"Think about it," Gareth persists, seeming to sense Sadie's reluctance, and offering her another grin before turning to Chrissy to offer her a grand attempt at a bow that is so reminiscent of past antics at campaigns that Sadie feels a small pang of longing in her chest, "Milady. A pleasure."
Chrissy's giggling seems to keep Sadie grounded as the two of them watch Gareth depart, and she absently runs a hand over her daughter's curls before resettling herself back to the task at hand. She isn't entirely sure she will be able to follow through with Gareth's request. She isn't sure she is brave enough to face Eddie when she's done nothing but derail his life.
When the one thing he still doesn't know could throw him off the rails for good.
…
(May 1986)
Burrowing into the sweatshirt Eddie had given her just prior to their departure from the trailer, Sadie shivers against the cool morning air, thankful she had decided to put her dress from the night before back on, at least inasmuch as it pertains to enabling her to stand with her toes submerged in the water at the edge of Lover's Lake. The sun is just starting to appear from behind the treeline, warming her somewhat, though the impact is admittedly rather slow.
But perhaps what warms her more than all of that is the unexpected sense of peace she feels simply standing here with water occasionally tickling at her toes, the muffled sound of Eddie rummaging in the back of his van only barely registering as she focuses on the simple act of breathing.
Sadie has no idea how Eddie knew to bring her here, particularly as she had never been even once on her own, but then, that's how it always has been with them. Him, knowing what she needs before she can even figure it out for herself…
For a moment, standing there, she can almost forget Chrissy is gone. She can forget the inevitable blame she will face when she does return home to her family.
She can forget every single thing that threatens to tear her world apart, and Sadie realizes that she will never be more grateful for Eddie's thoughtfulness than she is in this very moment.
"Aha! Found it!"
The declaration causes Sadie to turn just a bit, unable to fully resist the pull of her smile as she watches Eddie jogging towards her, a blanket clutched in both hands. She watches as he places it on the ground a few feet away, and makes a show of dropping down to sprawl on top of it with an overly exaggerated groan. And, not for the first time, Sadie catches herself laughing at his antics, one brow lifting as she realizes he is now peeking out at her from beneath his arm.
"If you were going to do that, maybe you should've grabbed an extra blanket."
"Is the lady suggesting something?"
"The lady is attempting to say it outright, actually," Sadie teases, stepping back from the water's edge, and folding the edges of the sleeves of Eddie's sweatshirt around her chilled hands as she moves back to where he still rests, sprawled on top of the blanket to poke one of her bare feet against his side, "I always thought you tried to be chivalrous any chance you had."
"What if I told you this is me being chivalrous?"
"Hogging an entire blanket?"
"Or, keeping it warm for when you finally decide to use it," Eddie counters, propping himself up on his elbows, and looking up at Sadie, who still seems skeptical, to say the least. Truthfully, he is probably enjoying this a bit too much. This side of her that he didn't dare believe he would see again, because of what had happened to Chrissy. He doesn't exactly know if she is experiencing any genuine sort of relief now that they have managed to get away from Hawkins, even if only by a few miles, or if she is simply trying to put on an act to reassure him, alone.
Either way, he isn't exactly prepared to complain, particularly not when her toes nudge against his ribs for a second time, and he pretends she is giving him enough of a blow to turn him over, flat on his back.
"Rude, milady."
"Says the man taking up the entire blanket. Still."
Eddie waits for a moment in silence, then, taking no small amount of amusement from the way Sadie's expression seems to shift from teasing humor to sudden suspicion as a result. He watches as comprehension begins to dawn in her eyes, and she takes a step back from the edge of the blanket in response. But before she can make a clean escape, he is lunging forward, one arm circling around her waist to throw her over his shoulder, while the other assists in pushing him to his feet, Sadie's squeal provoking a laugh as he begins to carry her toward the lake.
"Eddie Munson, don't you dare!"
"Someone has to make sure you pay for your crimes, Sweetheart."
"Okay, I—I take it back! I take it back!" Sadie pleads, laughing in spite of herself as Eddie continues moving forward, splashes reaching her ears to signify his feet have already hit the water, and giving her every reason to believe her protests are already falling on deaf ears.
Eddie comes to a stop once the water reaches to just above his knees, shifting Sadie so that she is now held securely in both arms, her toes grazing the water's surface as instinct prompts her to wind her arms around his neck. She's looking up at him, breathless with laughter, though she still squirms occasionally as though she thinks she truly stands a chance at breaking free…
"Eddie?" She murmurs, still looking him in the eye, her gaze holding his own in such a way that he nearly forgets what he intended to do when he carted her out here to begin with. He can feel the warmth of her skin against his neck, and the weight of her in his arms isn't exactly a sensation he can say he regrets. It's like she's waiting for him to do something about their sudden proximity. And if he is being honest with himself, Eddie is waiting, too, because he can't exactly shake himself of the temptation to keep her close for as long as he possibly can.
When he had woken some time in the middle of the previous night to her twined around him, he had been half-convinced he was dreaming, and now?
Now Eddie finds himself caught between the desire to kiss Sadie, and the need to keep himself from doing absolutely anything that might wind up pushing her away.
And she thinks she's the selfish one.
"Eddie, are you okay?"
Her words effectively break him out of his musings, and Eddie forces a mischievous grin to his lips as he looks down at her for a moment, a tiny furrow forming between her brows as she seems to realize his initial intentions have not changed a bit. Sadie starts to squirm in earnest, then, panic and amusement flaring to life in her expression, but he doesn't give her much of a chance to break free, her shriek as he tosses her into the water provoking a laugh as he splashes after her, not at all surprised as she resurfaces, and lunges for him to press her hands against his shoulders, forcing him beneath the surface as payback for what he has just done to her.
Breaking the surface for air, and shaking his head to send water spraying from his hair in an array of droplets headed straight for Sadie, Eddie savors her laughter. The retaliatory splash of water she sends his way with her hands.
His arms loop around her waist again as she tries to get away, her back bumping against his chest, while laughter mixes in with her shrieks of protest that no longer seem quite sincere. They're up to their shoulders in the water now, completely drenched, but neither seem to care…
And even though Eddie knows this is hardly a cure for Sadie's loss, even he can't help but admit that he is more than a little relieved it appears to be working.
Even if that relief only lasts a short while.
…
Aaaaah, you guys, these two are killing me! Seriously killing me! I can't tell if I'm going overboard on the fluff in the flashbacks or if Sadie and Eddie really are this adorable to anyone else but me, but good lord do I love writing it, either way. Oops? ;)
As always, my heartfelt thanks go out to each and every one of you that has taken the time to read, follow, favorite and review this story so far! Special thanks to brandylynn12893, phoward and MulishaMaiden for leaving such lovely comments the last time around! I truly do appreciate the support, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as much as the last!
Until next time, darlings…
MOMM