19. The Lover
"God's I've wanted you," he said softly when it was over.
Sansa stared at him in the near dark, the candles having mostly blown out. "Truly?" she asked.
"You'd have to be daft not to. I used to think I wanted you once you had flowered when we lived in King's Landing, but that was just a foolish dog's bait." He breathed deeply for a moment and Sansa felt herself lulled by the sound.
"It was the road that did it, well I was sure of it by then." He rolled over to face her. "I never dreamed in a thousand years you'd care."
Sansa felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I was so awful to you back then."
"It was an awful place."
"You were the only one who was kind to me."
He snorted. "If you could call that kindness."
"I could. It helped. I felt like at least one person wasn't going to hurt me. I trusted you somehow."
The Hound was silent for a moment. "I decided I had to get you out that night, the night of the battle. I saw all the flame, all the burning, and I knew. It might have started for a reward. But that was just an excuse. Some part of me hoped…that you might care."
Sansa buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I wanted you too," she said into him.
He chuckled. "You're far too much for and old dog like me."
"You know, you're more a knight than anyone I've ever met before," Sansa said, shaking her head.
"Ar, it's just a bloody title. I'm happier not wearing it and playing castle with all those lords and ladies."
"Me too," Sansa said, surprising herself. "I've felt so free with you this past month."
Sandor bit her shoulder lightly. "You're a lady, more truly than I am a ser. Gods I used to get so mad every time you talked of your stupid knights and princes."
Sansa laughed. "I got quite enough of them at King's Landing. I've developed a taste for dog."
Sandor shook his head and wrapped himself around her tighter. He groaned when she kissed his neck. "I still can't believe this," he sighed.
"Me neither," Sansa admitted. "My mother is going to have quite a few words to say on the topic."
"You're going to tell her?" he asked in surprise, pulling away to stare at her.
"Of course," Sansa said. "I'm going to tell all of them. What point is there in hiding it? I-I love you."
And there it was, the truth of it. The Hound seemed frozen. Sansa leaned over and kissed him softly. She was shocked to find a wetness to his face. She reached up, reminding herself suddenly of that night in King's Landing when she had touched his face after she had sung her song. This time she didn't pull her hand away, and she touched his burned side. He put his hand over hers.
"And don't go saying any nonsense about not deserving this or that it won't work or you're too old or any of it," Sansa said before he could speak. "If my family doesn't like it, we'll just go somewhere else for a while."
"Are we to be wed then?" he growled uncertainly.
"Only if you want to. I'm far less interested in weddings these days, though it would probably serve to shock everyone in the Seven Kingdoms nicely. If Joffrey's still alive, I'll send him an invitation."
He laughed. "You're too much. Not a little bird anymore, that's for certain."
She smiled and laughed herself, so pleased was she that he wasn't resisting her.
"It'll take a lot of learning, on my part," he said cautiously. "I've never had a-a lover before."
"Nor have I," Sansa said, taking his hand. "I expect I'll have some learning to do myself."
"Moon tea, for a start," Sandor said. "Unless you want little Sans running around your feet."
"Do you?" she asked curiously.
Sandor cocked his head. "I've honestly never thought about it before."
"Well I'm not interested right now. Perhaps someday."
He nodded.
"I've-I've done…" he cleared his throat. "I've laid with whores," he said abruptly.
"I know," she said, shrugging.
"I never cared for them, just so you know."
"I'm not bothered by it."
"You're not?"
"Nope."
"And I've done terrible things. I've killed so many men."
"Only those that would have killed you," she responded. This seemed to quell him for a time.
"I've followed orders," he said finally. "Orders that were horrible."
"No more orders, Sandor," she said. "You'll never have to follow one again."
He stared at her. The night was starting to lighten. She could see his face, full of surprise and concern and love.
"Be with me?" she asked him.
He smiled softly. "Aye Sansa, I'll be with you."
She beamed at him.
"We should probably sleep," she suggested, a sudden wave of exhaustion rolling over her.
Sandor pulled the covers over them gently and cuddled her into him. They were both asleep within moments.