M slammed her laptop shut
She closed her eyes, allowing warm tears to stream down her face, she raised her hands to her temples and began to breathe in and out slowly, attempting to calm herself down. She continued for a couple of minutes until she heard her phone ping.
E's stomach dropped when she realised that M had blocked her
She quickly opened the facebook messenger app and frantically typed a message to M
"M please don't do this! I'm really sorry please unblock me please I'm really sorry."
M was fuming and responded with a very long message stating that she isn't going to unblock her at that time and once again criticising E for commenting and messaging the accused person even though she had been the one who suggested E message them in the first place, ending the long message with "TAKE ACCOUNTABILLITY".
By now E was hyperventilating, shaking and crying, she desperately attempted to ring M's house phone to no avail, she felt immensley guilty and wanted to phone up to apologise. M rejected E's call and sent another message.
"And don't ring my house phone. It's nearly 1 in the fucking morning and my mam is trying to sleep. Don't contact me for the next week, don't call my mother or my sister, for now, I've had enough". M then blocked E on facebook.
That is when E's heart broke. She felt as though someone had literally stabbed her in the heart with a knife.
E had never experienced pain like it, she knew instantly her heart was broken, a physical pain, a dull ache. E was distraught, she ran downstairs to her mother and father figure and explained what had happened as best she could. She wailed and cried, her whole body shook, her face was red and she was inconsolable. "I've lost her! I've lost her"! E wailed, she feared that M would never forgive her. E feared abandonment, she feared that others would get fed up with her, leave and never come back. E had once chased her father across a busy road without looking because she was scared of him leaving her, even though he was only going to the corner shop. Whenever E had an argument with anyone, she would begin to believe that the person she was arguing with hated her and it would take a while for her to be reassured otherwise, which is what E was now experiencing with M.
E's mother managed to calm E down enough for E to stop being hysterical, but the pain was still there, E was desperate for the pain to stop and began to think about harming herself, something she expressed to her mother, who agreed to stay up all night with E until E felt ok to be alone. They sat up all night together, E's mother attempting to distract her and E trying to allow herself to be distracted. But no matter what E's mother did, the pain and guilt remained, E felt completely worthless. By the time that E and her mother decided to go to bed, the sun had already begun to rise over the new day. E was exhausted, but she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get much sleep, she trudged up the stairs, her throat sore and her face still wet from tears, she entered her room and let herself slump on the bed, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.