"What if I tell you that I'm falling for you, Robin?"
This wasn't the first time he recognized this feeling but now, he was sure of what it was: he was falling in love with her. What Robin did to him, made him slowly realize that it wasn't bad to be human, wasn't bad to show emotions, and wasn't bad to fall for someone— in Zoro's situation, he risked it, even though there were consequences. He knew the consequence, but once again, Zoro had moved impulsively. He wasn't from here in the first place, he had to go back, but he still made a move, and confessed that he was falling for her.
Right before Robin, under the pouring rain, he stared ardently at her eyes, full of conviction, as he told her his own sincere feelings despite being a man not known for romance and such.
However, as much as he had already discovered what he truly felt, their fate didn't allow them to be together.
Robin returned downcast eyes at his own hopeful gaze, saying:
"Why aren't you listening to me? Did you even hear what I said? I already told you that I don't want to hold you back from your journey. But I do believe you, Zoro… I admit you reminded me how it feels to slowly fall in love again, but… I don't want things like this, complicated— to the point where I would be the reason you don't achieve your dreams of becoming the greatest swordsman."
"Robin, you're not a nuisance…" He said, but Robin gave him a weak smile.
"I know, but don't risk your dreams for me. Like I said, I don't want to hold you back. You have duties and responsibilities back there. I know it's too fast to make decisions like these, but I made up my mind that it's best for us to forget what happened, Zoro. Just pretend that this was only a dream."
"But I don't want to forget you…"
"I know you won't…" Robin moved her free hand on his right cheek, a gentle caress Zoro felt from her hand. "If only we weren't in this situation, I could ask you to stay… But it is what it is— I'm really sorry, Zoro. It has to be this way."
A faint smile was only the thing she could give as she pulled away from his grasp.
Robin was about to go back inside, when she looked back at him once more.
"I'm still a woman of my word, and I will do my best to help you go back to where you came from. This afternoon, we will be heading back to Rustbay so prepare yourself." She spoke, and with one last look, she added, "Good luck on your journey, I wish you the best…"
Just like that, Robin left him all alone. Could it even be called closure when he wanted to say more?
Moments after Robin had left him in the rain, Zoro sat on the stairs, brooding. Drenched in water, he made a fool out of himself. Chasing some daydream— it wasn't his intention— but it felt right. It didn't take long for time to repeat the cycle again. What happened the previous day, happened once again here?
Why was he even trying so hard at this point? He knew he wouldn't come back here but why did something inside him feel empty—?
"You're such an idiot for telling her that." Nami smacked the back of Zoro's head as soon as Robin finished talking to him.
"Ow— You've been listening the whole time?" Zoro looked up at her with a grimace.
"Of course, you idiot! Didn't you realize that when I hit you? Gods, you're really an idiot." Nami sighed, and sat beside him. "I'm not that naïve to not know such things. So, tell me, why did Robin act like that? You've hurt her, haven't you—?"
"I kissed her…" He said without hesitance, and once again, Nami hit the back of his head.
"What was that for?!" Zoro exclaimed.
"You really are an idiot!" Nami fumed. "You're going away, and now you kiss my friend?! You have no shame, you stupid fucking swordsman!" Nami slapped his right bicep repeatedly.
"Okay— Ow, okay! But I really like her—!"
Nami stopped hitting the swordsman, and paused for a moment.
"Did you say that just so I'd stop hitting you?"
He shook his head. "It's just… I told her how I felt even though I'm not coming back here. And now, I think it worsened the situation between us."
"Still, you shouldn't have done that!" Nami hit him one last time before she sighed deeply and shook her head.
"Look, I want the best for Robin, and I'm siding with her because she's my friend, you know. And it just hurts me seeing her cry like that because of you… Why can't you stay? Why aren't you even coming back? It's not like there's some sort of otherworldly thing that's happened to you, and that's why you can't come back, right?" Nami laughed to herself, but Zoro remained silent and couldn't answer her.
"Right?" She repeated once more, but there was still no response from the swordsman.
"Wait… So don't tell me…?"
"It's complicated and you might not believe it." Zoro said.
"Oh, Gods, I don't even want to know. I'd rather be ignorant." Nami shook her head, refusing to hear more from him, and instead, continued to watch the rain fall.
Since Robin had obtained the map, going back to Rustbay would take them almost two days. However, now that Zoro was going back to where he came from, it was quite hard, knowing that he was leaving this place in a few days.
From the past few weeks, he thought it would be easy when he had made up his mind that he wouldn't get attached to the people here. But boy, he was so wrong, it was clearly the opposite. Something in his mind was telling him he should stay, and live here peacefully. At least he got to be with his friends, and he could still see the familiar faces of his nakama. He would also get to spend time with the person he cared for even if it meant leaving all his promises to his captain and crew. However… that was being irresponsible, wasn't it? If he left them all, then… What would happen to everyone? Their promise to get back to Sabaody? That would mean betraying his own word, so… He still had his duty. He was still the devoted right-hand man of the soon-to-be pirate king.
Perhaps the memories he had with the people around here were living in his mind quietly for some time, distracting him from his goals…
'You were only distracted, Zoro… Distracted from your goal… Focus on it…' Zoro muttered to himself.
Up in the crow's nest, his gaze moved downwards from the deck to Robin, who was seated at her usual table on the deck in the Sunny, reading her own book.
Robin hadn't been talking to him ever since they departed from Ohara. The silent treatment she had been giving him was too unbearable! Normally he wasn't the type to be so iffy about these things, but why was he annoyed? Was it because Robin wasn't talking to him?! Fuck, this woman and the things she did to him.
But, man, he tried talking to her with Chopper's help,but it didn't work.
It only went like this:
It was noon that time, when Zoro was on deck. He had just finished eating lunch with the others, and he went straight to the deck to take a nap. Moments later, he sensed Chopper's footsteps going to Luffy and Usopp, who were seated on the rail, watching the ocean.
The swordsman called out to the reindeer, and beckoned him to come over.
"Chopper, I have something to ask you."
Chopper squinted his eyes at him, and crossed his arms. "Is this about Robin?"
Zoro scoffed. "Why would you think that? Although, she hasn't been speaking to me and I want to talk to her—"
"Aha! So you really want to talk to Robin—!"
Zoro covered Chopper's mouth before Robin could hear him, although the reindeer barely pried his hand away from his mouth.
"Okay, okay, I'll be quiet." Chopper managed to say.
Zoro sighed, "Go ask her this."
He proceeded to whisper in Chopper's ear. The reindeer's eyes sparkled, and giggled behind his hoof upon hearing what Zoro said, however the swordsman shot him a look afterwards.
After Zoro had told Chopper what to do, the reindeer went to Robin. She was sitting beside her little garden, reading one of the novels she got at Ohara. Zoro moved behind the pillar so he could pretend to sleep — thinking that would be effective.
"Chopper, why are you here?" Zoro heard Robin ask the little reindeer when he stood beside her.
Chopper looked innocent at first before surprising Zoro with what he said:
"Zoro was asking when he can talk to you again. He was very impatient; he misses you so bad already." Chopper pointed and grinned at Zoro, who was hiding behind the pillar. Robin could only shake her head, and smile politely at Chopper.
"I think it's best if the swordsman could talk to me directly, and not with the help of a child like you, Chopper." Robin patted the top of his head, then shot Zoro a raised brow when she saw him behind the pillar.
"Chopper, you snitch…" Zoro muttered to himself.
Even though he told himself that it was a bad idea, Zoro tried going up to the library, where Robin went next after being on deck. But eventually, the swordsman could only stand in front of the door, pacing back and forth, thinking what he should say to Robin.
Ordinarily, Zoro wasn't really the type to lower his pride. They would beg him to talk, to say anything, but right now, the swordsman acted quite different from what he was used to. However, he eventually realized that he was just wasting his time— he spent almost thirty minutes thinking about what he should say to her.
He immediately left without talking to Robin, but took one last look at the door before leaving the place completely.
Later that afternoon, he found himself in the dining room with stolen sake in his hand. There was no one else that could be his companion other than sake but… what was he supposed to do now other than wait for Robin's plan?
"Oi, what are you doing here?"
Of all the people Zoro wanted to see, he was the last one he wished he bumped into. Well, he was an idiot for staying inside the dining room where the cook always stayed, so it was his own damn fault now that this stupid cook was bugging him.
"You don't own the dining room." Zoro continued to drink his sake.
"Oi, oi, I've just cleaned the table, don't go messing it up with that drool of yours! Why are you even drinking? You don't even have a reason to—!" Sanji stopped himself before he could finish his sentence. "You and Robin-chwan… You hurt her last night, didn't you?"
"Why would I hurt her? I'm not an idiot." He took another swig.
"Then what happened? Don't tell me you said something that made her mad—?"
"I told her that I like her…" Zoro avoided the cook's gaze, instead, directed his attention to the sake, chugging it until the bottle was empty. Sanji could only watch the swordsman in distaste.
"You happy?" Zoro raised a brow, still not looking at the cook.
"Not even a bit. You stupid mosshead, treating Robin-chwan like that! You already know that you're leaving but you still had to hurt Robin's heart—"
"Look, I didn't want to hurt her!" There was a stress mark on Zoro's temple, hearing the cook scold him for not knowing his reasons. "As much as I wanted to stay, I can't! I can't…" He cut off his own words before he could say anything worse.
"I… Forget what I said." He left the cook alone in the galley without saying goodbye before he could say anything else from his fizzled mind.
He only drank one bottle of sake but why did it hit him harder than when he normally drank? He could down a lot more than this, and he did not get drunk so quickly. But now, it was like he would expose what was going on inside his mind sooner or later, and he didn't want to have that stupid cook know his bare thoughts.
Away from the galley now, Zoro went back to the crow's nest to train, setting his mind away from outside distractions— away from Robin. The crow's nest was the only place where he would be much more at peace. At least, instead of Robin, he was focusing on building his stamina, or training his muscles, and not thinking about her.
"Go talk to her." A voice said.
Zoro flinched, immediately dropping the large dumbbell in his hand, when someone tapped his shoulder.
"What the fuck? Why are you— Luffy?! Usopp?! When did you two get here? And why do two idiots look so shady right now?" Zoro pointed at his mischievous grin.
"We know how to help you, Zoro! You can talk to us!" Usopp gave him a proud smile, while Luffy nodded, hands akimbo.
Zoro rolled his eyes, "As if I wanted you two to know."
Luffy chuckled. "I have a plan."
"Plan? You have a plan, Luffy?" Even Usopp shot him a surprised glance.
Would anyone even believe that Luffy made a plan? Like Luffy? Planning? No, it would take the bluest moon to shine in the sky for Luffy to ever follow a plan. Luffy wouldn't dare follow the right path, he would punch his way to the mastermind, and clash with him with all his might.
That Luffy was no different than the Luffy here, which was why it failed. Luffy's plan was very childish, in which he tried to set him up with Robin. Yes, he "tried", and that was why it failed before it even started.
Considering Zoro was an idiot, and that he had run out of options, he agreed to their plan.
And that plan didn't work.
The next morning, Luffy's plan was to trip Robin from her feet since she was known to wake up early. Behind the door, Zoro would stand by waiting, so that he could catch her in his arms. But instead of Robin, it was Sanji who tripped on Usopp's makeshift trap, and Zoro didn't have the time to save him— because he didn't want to. Sanji fell face first on the floor, and there, Luffy, Usopp and Zoro stood laughing while the cook tripped.
"What the hell is wrong with you three?! It's fucking five in the morning and you three decided to do this shit?" Sanji scolded the three of them. The cook felt embarrassed now that Robin joined in on laughing even though she only contained her laughter.
'Wait, Robin was behind them?' Zoro looked back, and Robin was there, chuckling. But her smile immediately disappeared when Zoro looked at her face. It was replaced by a thin-lipped smile, pretending that she hadn't just been laughing a while ago. It seemed like their relationship reset after that incident in Ohara…
"I think we pissed off Sanji even more than Robin…" Usopp mumbled, nudging Zoro's sides.
"You don't say?" Zoro quipped. Moments after the incident with the cook, Zoro noticed that Robin left the scene with a small smile on her face. Instead of talking to her, he only stood there, watching her go up into the library.
With a heavy sigh, he went on deck, as dawn was about to arrive.
Standing along the railings, Zoro nursed the sake he snatched away from the pantry, and took a swig. 'It doesn't matter anymore,' Zoro thought to himself. Once he had left, Robin could just easily forget him. At least, he could spend his last moments with her even at a farther distance.
His hand on top of hers, never wanting to move it. He wanted to hold it close to him. He wasn't drunk yet but—
"Fuck, why would I remember this all of a sudden?" Zoro cursed. The memory of the first day they left Rustbay flashed inside his mind, but why now when he was almost back to Kuraigana?
'This is why I don't do romance and shit,' he scoffed and took another chug of his sake. Now he couldn't remove Robin from inside his mind, and the moment that night in her room:
As Robin touched his scar, his hand was on her cheek, almost a breath away from each other. He could kiss her in that close proximity… He leaned closer, and then—
Chopper called out to the two of them, to which Robin quickly stood right up, away from him, then went to bed.
That night, Zoro thought of tickling Chopper non-stop until he learned his lesson for interrupting them, but instead, he went to sleep.
And the previous day where he kissed Robin under the rain, he touched his lips, mind replaying the kiss they had but it would just be a matter of time before he would forget it even if he didn't want to.
He let out a deep sigh before taking a swig of his sake once again. A few moments passed, and the Robo-Franky announced that they were about to approach Rustbay. Zoro realized that he was paying far too much attention to other matters instead of thinking about going back— time really did fly fast. He was about to head back from the crow's nest, when he spotted a familiar face even in the far distance. He hadn't even gotten halfway through his bottle of sake. He was sure that he hadn't even reached the peak of being drunk.
No, it can't be… Why the fuck is he here? Of all the people, it was him who was there, waiting at the docks.