The Woman in the Shoe (Something New!!!)
This is the part of the book where I take a fabulous nursery rhyme (cough cough) and butcher the hell out of it for my amusement, and your own. (Don't be surprised if you start seeing this more often in the process of writing this most wonderful book.)
But First! (dun dun duuuun) We must show you the original song! (Cover the children's eyes!)
There once was a woman who lived in a shoe
She had soo many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth, without any bread
Then spanked them all soundly, and sent them to bed.
(Geeze, talk about abusive. Well, now it's my turn!)
There once was a prostitute, who lived in a dumpster.
(Just behind Starbucks too)
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She tried condoms
-And the patch too
But they all ended in failure, and another baby too.
Then she tried the pill
And WOW! She loved the results
So now she has fifteen kids, and no more to count.
Now, doesn't that sound more like it? How much more realistic is that compared to the other one? I mean come on, no one is actually small enough to fit in a shoe, and how often do you see a shoe big enough to fit people in? Common sense people! -Blah blah blah, and more babble-
The End!!!