Chapter 30
Can't Choose Your Colony
"And he still wouldn't listen to a word I said! I ended up having to push 8 ccs of midazolam and a whole milligram of fentanyl just to get him to lie still so I actually had a decent grip on the thing .. Mom?"
Josh paused, staring into his mother's face curiously.
"Are you listening?"
Elisabeth blinked, her hand poised in midair, as though she had been reaching for something but, in mid-movement, forgotten what it was. Now she lowered it, meeting her oldest son's worried gaze with a smile.
"I'm sorry, honey, of course I'm listening. I'm just .. tired. Please .. continue. I'm listening."
Josh hesitated for a moment as she returned to her work, and then shrugged, picking up where he had left off.
"Well, anyway, I'm in there, mucus up to my neck, he's lying passed out on the bed, and just as I .. Mom?"
He trailed off again, forgetting the story as he watched her, a frown slowly creeping across his features. Elisabeth was staring into space, swaying a little from side to side.
"Josh, I'm sorry, I'm not .." She looked around in confusion, placing a visibly shaky hand to her forehead. "I can't remember .. what .."
"Mom? Mom!" Josh stared in horror as his mother tilted and threw a hand out, as if to grab the counter nearby. She missed, dropping abruptly, as though gravity had suddenly consumed all her remaining strength. He willed his feet to move, to catch her, but instead, he remained frozen in place as he watched her collapse. Her head connected with the corner of the bench on the way down, sending a resounding thwack echoing around the Infirmary.
"Mom! No!"
He slid to his knees beside her, feeling as though a gust of liquid nitrogen had come from nowhere and had overtaken his insides. He reached out stiffly, pushing through the invisible fog that seemed to surround him. As he grasped her shoulder, she groaned softly. The sound, awful as it was, turned out to be just the sort of jumpstart his frozen heart needed. She wasn't dead. Of course she wasn't. He leaned forward, willing his voice to stop trembling in the process.
"It's alright, Mom. Don't move .. easy .."
The half-conscious Elisabeth didn't heed the warning. She shifted, muttering something unintelligible. Josh put a hand to her forehead, pulling back in horror a moment later.
"She's burning up!" He glanced up and around the room, searching for someone, anyone that could render assistance. "She-"
He immediately found Ogawa at his right shoulder.
"Get her on the bed. Help me." The head nurse commanded. Josh obeyed. Together, they helped the new patient up and onto the closest empty cot. Then he stepped back, watching blankly as Elisabeth was made comfortable. After a few moments, Ogawa threw a sideways look at him. The boy doctor looked worse than his mother did. Nearly as white as the billowing sheets above his head, he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. The odd mouthfuls he actually managed to suck into his lungs were coming in weirdly irregular succession. If she didn't prevent the oncoming hyperventilation, she'd have yet another patient that she wasn't equipped to deal with. They already outnumbered the Infirmary staff two to one. She smiled up at him reassuringly.
"Don't worry. She's just overtired. She's been overdoing it for some time, and she took Mrs. Tate's death particularly hard. She'll be alright. She's strong."
As she refocused her attention on Elisabeth, Josh suddenly wobbled and grabbed the side of the bed for support. Ogawa turned back to him quickly, frowning as an ashen wave appeared to ripple over his face.
"Do you need to sit down?"
"No .. I need .." Josh stammered, his heartbeat punching him in the chest, his head swirling. He needed .. He needed Maddy. Maddy would know what to do. Maddy could make sense of this. He stared shakily at the head nurse, who was growing increasingly more concerned by the second.
"I need Maddy. She should be here-Maddy!" He yelled the name before he'd taken two steps from the bed. Ogawa began to speak to him, but it was no use. She watched in dismay as he bolted unsteadily from the room.
"Maddy!"
Maddy studied her colleague's tired frame from her own desk. He'd barely said a word in days, barely been interested in anything at all. He'd only left work to keep Skye company, and those times had been few and far between. The girl kept herself as busy as possible within the security team, working so hard during the day that by night time, she could barely stop herself falling asleep where she sat. When she went to bed, Lucas returned to the Lab, doing who knew what as he waited for the sun to reappear. He avoided going home. He'd been wearing the same clothes for three days straight.
Maddy frowned. She was more worried about him then she let on. She'd half a mind to call Malcolm in and let him deal with the sleep-deprived physicist, but the head researcher didn't seem to have noticed his assistant's odd behavior. To be fair, he probably had enough problems of his own.
"Hey." She attempted, looking over at Lucas curiously. "What difference do you think it'd make if I doubled the ratio of this solution?"
Her colleague didn't answer. She tried again.
"Lucas?"
"You're more than capable of figuring that out for yourself, Maddy." His slightly gravelly voice came from across the room. He hadn't even bothered to look up. She tapped her pen against the top of her desk.
"Maybe I just want my workmate's opinion."
Lucas didn't respond. His companion sighed internally and shrugged, returning to her own work with a shake of her head.
"Maddy!"
Maddy's head jerked up in surprise as her brother exploded through the doorway, almost falling on the way into the Lab. He maintained his feet, however, pausing for breath a few meters away.
"It's Mom. She's .. She's .."
"She's what?!" Maddy jumped up from her chair, turning pale as she caught sight of her brother's stricken face.
"She's collapsed." He groaned. "Maddy, she just dropped and I watched her fall and I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything."
"Why did she collapse? Is she alright?!"
"I don't know!" Josh burst out, sounding close to tears. "Ogawa's with her. She's looking after her. She said she'd be fine, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't-"
He cut himself off, running a shaky hand through his hair as he met his sister's eyes. Lucas, who had raised his head with interest at the disturbance, watched him keenly. It was the most life the physicist had shown in days, but no one took any notice under the present circumstances. Now, as he looked from one increasingly pale face to the other, he decided to enter the conversation. It was clear the siblings weren't doing each other any good.
"Stop panicking."
Josh and Maddy turned to stare at him as he stood, wandering casually across to them, his hands in his pockets.
"Look, she's been dealing with a lot. She's probably just overtired."
"That's what Nurse Ogawa said." Josh admitted, suddenly sounding very young as his voice hitched. Maddy blinked, attempting to perform the dual task of wrapping her head around the situation while simultaneously trying to stop her brother from losing his remaining wits.
"Okay .. where's Vaughn?"
"With Boylan." Josh swayed a little and Maddy hurriedly reached out an arm to steady him. Lucas leaned forward slightly, his eyes peering into the seedy face.
"Shannon, sit down, you look like a corpse."
Josh shook his head.
"No, I have to go back, I have to help-"
"Let the other doctor handle it. You're useless like this. Sit down and calm down."
He placed a hand on Josh's shoulder, but the younger man flinched, throwing him off violently.
"Get off me."
"Sit."
The hands returned, more firmly this time, and Josh found himself forced into a nearby chair. Lucas stood above him, determined to shove him down again if the boy tried to stand. Glancing up at the looming figure, Josh decided against the attempt, contenting himself with gripping the sides of the chair to still his trembling. Lucas watched as the young doctor tried to focus his watery stare, raising an eyebrow accusingly.
"Shannon, stop it, you're scaring me."
When Josh didn't respond, he nudged him with the back of his hand.
".. what, no cute comeback? 'No surprise there, doesn't take much to scare you, Lucas, always knew you were a wimp'. Nothing?"
Josh snorted, but didn't look up.
"You're an idiot."
Lucas stared down at him in disappointment.
".. that was sad. I may actually cry."
"Lucas, shut .. up."
It was probably a mercy he didn't see the smile that touched the physicist's face. Lucas' next words, however, addressed his sister instead.
"Maddy, get him some water, will you?"
When she didn't move, he glanced over at her, doing a double-take at the sight of her face.
"Don't you start falling apart on me."
Maddy swallowed and shook her head quickly.
"I'm fine. I'll get the water. Stay with him."
"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." Lucas responded, sounding almost bored. Josh didn't seem to have heard the remainder of the conversation. He swayed a little in his seat as his vision swam. Lucas found himself growing lightheaded as he watched, so he shook his own head to clear it and pulled up a seat nearby. Maddy returned and thrust the glass into her brother's hand.
"Drink." She ordered, as Josh accepted it numbly. "I'll go next door and check on Mom."
Josh moved his head slowly back and forth, trying not to overturn the tiny boat that was currently trying to stay afloat inside it.
"I should go."
"Drink." Maddy commanded, with a glance at Lucas. "I won't be long."
Lucas nodded wordlessly as she marched out the door, her brave exterior disguising the fact that her heart was in her throat. He turned back to Josh. The younger boy was still sitting in a daze, his glass of water untouched. Lucas gestured to it, leaning back in his own chair.
"She said drink."
"I should be in there as well."
"Drink, or I'll lay you out flat and force it down your throat myself. You know I can."
Josh scoffed.
"I'd like to see you try."
Nevertheless, he raised the glass to his mouth and took a sip, cringing at the taste.
"What is in this?"
"No idea. Maybe your sister tried to poison you."
"It'd save you the trouble, wouldn't it?"
"I wasn't gonna say it, but .."
Josh grinned weakly and took another mouthful, screwing up his face once more and putting the glass to the side.
"I'm telling you, that doesn't taste right."
"Quit being such a baby and just drink it."
Josh glanced around the Lab, pointedly ignoring the glass on the table beside him. Lucas surveyed him with a mixture of irritation and relief. His pale face had regained some of its colour now, but he had had a nasty shock. All things considered, Josh wasn't as old as he tried to be. Granted, recent events had forced them all to grow up quickly, but in times like this, it became evident that the only thing holding the boy together was his human support system. When that was shaken, he collapsed like a house of cards. He suddenly realized Josh was staring back at him blandly.
"What?"
Lucas met his eye for a few seconds, then shrugged, glancing away as though the conversation no longer held any interest for him.
"You shouldn't rely on family so much. You'll never be much good if you can't stand on your own feet."
"Yeah, thank you, counselor, I know that." Josh snapped, slumping sullenly in his chair and further cementing Lucas' inward perception of him. The older boy almost smiled, but just managed to shove the expression under another grave one as he responded.
"I'm just saying, stop running to Maddy every time you have a problem. She won't be around forever."
He seemed to pale a little again, and Lucas wondered briefly if he had crossed the line, but then Josh grasped the arms of the chair once more, pulling himself up straighter and meeting the physicist's eyes, studying him closely, as though he was searching for something. The sudden reversal of positions disarmed Lucas somewhat. He found he had to force himself not to look away as he endured the sharp appraisal. After a moment or two, the younger boy tilted his head slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching.
"You know, relying on family isn't such a bad thing after all .." He mused, almost to himself. "Gives you the strength to do things you wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Forces you to go further than you thought you could. 'Course there are downsides."
He rocked on his chair, his gaze wandering around the room.
"It's true, maybe I should be better at standing on my own. But maybe you should try to rely more on people. Guess we have opposite problems, huh?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"So why do you keep to yourself so much?" Josh's eyes flicked back to him. "You know the rest of the colony still thinks you're a psychopathic hermit."
Lucas grinned a little.
"That doesn't surprise me."
"You shut everyone out. You even ignore the people who say hi to you on the street. I've seen you." Josh shook his head in mock disappointment. "Not very polite."
"Those people don't matter."
"Everyone matters." Josh countered lightly. "But you don't even try to make friends. Why .. you worried you're gonna lose them?"
He raised his eyebrows in Lucas' direction, causing the physicist to slouch in his own chair.
"Who's running this therapy session, you or me?"
His self-appointed counselor laughed a little, but said nothing more. The Lab fell silent for a full minute or two. Then Josh shifted, methodically gripping and releasing the arms of his seat.
"She hasn't been sleeping." He offered finally, his voice quiet, but steadier now. "Sometimes I hear her in the night .. crying."
Lucas studied the other boy's pale features.
"Have you seen yourself recently, kid? You haven't been sleeping either. Am I right?"
Josh stared weakly at him.
"Could you sleep if your little sister was missing, your father had vanished, and you had no way of knowing if either one was alive or dead?"
"Probably not."
"There you go." He murmured, then shot a look in Lucas' direction. "And don't call me kid."
"Or what, you'll start crying again?"
"I'll be too busy laughing hysterically while you're out cold on the floor." Josh retorted.
As Lucas chuckled, Maddy entered again, her face streaked with considerable relief. The extent of Lucas' movement was to lean forward in his seat, but Josh jumped the whole way up, then immediately had to grip the back of the chair again as his head tried to swim away. Before he could ask the question on both of their tongues, however, Maddy answered it.
"She's going to be fine." She looked from one to the other, including them both in her report. "She's overworked and stressed, like we thought. We're supposed to bring her home and make sure she takes it easy for a few days."
Josh's numb expression twisted into a watery grin.
"She'll like that."
Maddy turned to him, her own smile fading.
"You're .. They're talking about suspending you after the way you freaked out. Doctors have to put their personal feelings aside to do their jobs. They don't know if you've got what it takes." She watched gravely as the colour drained from his face once again. "I didn't want to tell you, but I thought I'd better give you a heads up."
"Good, I'm glad you did."
The other two watched with interest as Josh's shoulders straightened, his mouth pressing itself into a grim line.
"They'd be right to suspend me." He said after a moment. "I let myself panic and lost my head. There's no excuse for that."
"You were scared." Maddy protested, standing up for her older brother indignantly. "I had half a mind to come to blows with him then and there. Pompous old-"
"Easy .." Lucas murmured from his chair, nodding to the door opening behind them. A severe-looking, dark-haired man stepped through and glanced around, obviously looking for something or someone in particular. When he spied the Shannon children, he moved forward to join them.
"Oh, good, here you are."
Maddy nodded to him politely.
"Dr. Katseles."
The head surgeon cast a thin smile down at her.
"Miss Shannon. You can take your mother home now. And you .." He turned to a considerably unwell-looking Josh. ".. your behaviour was unacceptable. But .. she is your mother, and right now, we need all the doctors we can get, no matter how mediocre."
Only Lucas saw Maddy's clenched knuckles grow white as he continued.
"You'll be reprimanded, but not punished. This time. But the next time you lose your head in a panic with a patient, the consequences will be significantly more severe, understand?"
"Yes sir."
They watched as he turned on his heel and marched out, waiting for the door to click shut before gathering the courage to speak again.
"Chirpy guy."
Maddy glanced at Lucas, smiling wryly.
"He's never liked us. Thinks we're a family of law-breakers who were rewarded for bad behavior."
"Well, if the shoe fits."
She shot him a look, then rocked on her feet thoughtfully.
"I think he may have actually been happy when Zoe went missing. Felt justified somehow, like it was retribution or something."
"Jerk."
"Yeah. Anyway." She gave herself a little shake to dispel the gloom that had settled over the three, eyeing Josh soberly. "He went easy on you. Ogawa must've had a word with him. He has a soft spot for her, you know."
"Pfft." Her brother responded, folding his arms. "Poor Ogawa."
She grinned in response, then turned to Lucas.
"We should really get Mom home. Think you can hold down the fort?"
"Sure."
"Thanks for looking out for him."
"Not that I needed it." Josh interjected. Lucas shrugged, ignoring the interruption.
"Whatever."
"Oh, and do me a favor?" Maddy winced slightly, drawing a curious look from the physicist as she eyed him. ".. go home tonight. You kind of stink."
At the very least, her words produced a snort of amusement from her brother. She smiled as Lucas scoffed, pausing to look over her shoulder as she followed Josh out the door.
"Oh .. but I was serious. Take a shower."
".. copy that."
"Ordinarily, I'd say he's paranoid, but in this case .."
"What, you think he's right?!"
"I'm just saying, they've got eyes everywhere. If they didn't-" The soldier stopped abruptly as Dunham's elbow collided with his rib cage. Half a second later, he saw why he had been shushed. Skye, on her way through the ruins of the marketplace, had paused nearby to listen, but now, as the conversation died, she eyed them wearily.
"What? Don't get weird for my sake."
Three of the soldiers remained mute, casting nervous glances at each other. It was the fourth that broke the silence.
"Ah, you know them." He offered, batting one of the other guys with his hand. "They can't help it. They just get nervous around girls."
As his offended companions rained numerous insults down upon his head, Curran turned back to Skye quietly, concern in his eyes.
"Hey .. how are you holding up anyway?"
She shrugged a little.
"I dunno really. I'm .. okay, I guess."
He nodded sympathetically as she looked around at the rest of the indignant group.
"So what were you talking about? Who has eyes everywhere?"
The soldier boys just stared at each other. After a moment's hesitation, however, Dunham spoke up, to the immense relief of everyone present.
"This new military unit." He explained grimly. "They've been conducting surveillance of the colony. The guys feel like they're being watched all the time. We've caught 'em moving around once or twice, but they're pretty darn sneaky. They can camouflage better than any slasher I've ever seen."
"What about thermal imaging?"
"Don't work." Another soldier piped up. "They can fool it somehow."
"Let's just say, we won't be able to get the drop on them easily." Dunham muttered. "And if they get the drop on us, well .. it's more or less game over before it begins."
Skye frowned in confusion.
"But .. they'd still give off a scent, right?"
Dunham chuckled.
"My nose might be long, but I'm afraid it's not that perceptive."
She rolled her eyes, releasing a short laugh.
"Look, not that you're not a good candidate for the job, but surely the Ovosaurs or something could smell them coming, right?"
"Curran's trying .." He tossed a look at the dinosaur trainer, who shrugged. ".. but so far, they don't seem to want to play ball. I mean, how do you get an Ovosaur to smell on demand?"
"Spray it with something nasty?" Skye retorted.
Dunham stared at her in mock surprise.
"Was .. Was that a joke?"
"Could've fooled me." Curran grinned, causing Skye to throw him a dirty look, though it was considerably more diluted than usual. The absence of the friendly punch that usually accompanied it was almost painful in itself. He shrugged. "Anyway, the enemy units are never far away, but the approach has more or less stopped. They're watching us constantly, eyes on our every move, but it's like they're waiting for something .."
Skye stared at him.
"Waiting for what?"
He laughed in protest.
"You think I have all the answers?!"
She smiled a little as she shrugged.
"Guess not."
At that moment, something brushed against her right shoulder. She turned to find an unfamiliar woman at her arm, listening with interest to the last few lines of the conversation. On the other side of the circle, the boys were throwing odd glances in her direction, then turning to exchange amused looks amongst themselves. The woman paid absolutely no attention to them, however, focusing her gaze on Skye instead.
"I'm so sorry I haven't been able to see you sooner." She crooned, stroking the girl's shoulder with the back of her knuckles. "How are you holding up?"
The eyes of the four soldiers redirected towards Skye, who flushed a little.
"I'm .. fine."
The stranger smiled around at the boys.
"Isn't she a brave little thing? Skye, honey, not to tear you away from your precious friends, but can we go somewhere a little more .. private?"
The subject blinked blankly.
"I .."
"Wonderful."
Without waiting for any further response, the grip on Skye's arm tightened and the woman led her away. Stumbling forward, she threw an entreating glance back at Curran, but he offered nothing but a helpless shrug in return. Falling into step beside her captor, Skye peered warily into the woman's face. Her brain was turning up no memories whatsoever. Was she supposed to know who she was? The woman smiled back, but the kind expression she wore jarred sharply against the roughness of her movements. Something was distinctly wrong here. What did she want?
"Sorry, Mrs. .."
"Lydia. Please." The woman corrected gently, though at the same time, a faint cloud of offense seemed to hover about her like perfume. Skye's face, however, had cleared a little at the mention of the name.
"Oh, you live a few houses down from us, right?" Her expression faltered as the frown returned. "I mean .. you did .. we did .."
"It's alright, don't hurt yourself, dear." Lydia patted her arm gently, the touch reminding Skye strangely of a large paw with the claws retracted. "The truth is, I came to offer more than my condolences. I .. well, I was wanting to talk to you about something."
Skye raised her eyebrows.
"Oh?"
"Yes .." Lydia nodded solemnly, as though she was about to divulge some great secret. "You see, your mother and I .. we had a sort of .. arrangement."
".. arrangement?"
"Deborah wanted me to look out for you, you know. After .. well, it's done with now, but she thought .. we thought .. I might be somewhat of an alternate mother figure to you once she was gone."
The creases in Skye's forehead deepened.
"She .. what?"
But Lydia was shaking her head.
"And I have to say, what I see has me worried. You used to have such a good head on your shoulders. Why aren't you using it?"
Skye mouth dropped open a fraction as she blinked in bewilderment.
"I .. what .. do you mean?"
"I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, but it seemed inappropriate under the circumstances. Now, however, I feel you need to hear it."
She paused, turning to face Skye with a look of acute distress on her face.
"You're letting yourself down, running here and there in the presence of thieves and criminals, choosing to associate with those .. Sixers." She almost spat out the word. "I had hoped moving into the barracks under Commander Reilly's wing would help to set you on the right path, but you seem to be going all the more out of your way to rebel. In fact, I'm not at all sure she could be called a good influence herself, all things considered .."
She trailed off for a moment, then seemed to return to the present, redoubling her efforts.
"Your mother wouldn't have wanted this for you. There was a time you were one of our brightest young successes. Forgive me for the crude-sounding term, but you were thought of as part of the elite group of first settlers - those who were here before the Sixers. Your mother was aware of the status, even if you weren't. We had such high hopes. Please, come back to the right side of society-"
A snort from Skye halted her, and she found herself fixed in the crosshairs of an eerily familiar gaze. It was the same chilling glare she had received from Deborah not so long ago, as though the woman had arisen from the grave and had returned to defend her wayward child. But this child seemed to be unexpectedly capable of defending herself. Skye stood defiantly, meeting the woman's eye as a cold claw of fury wrapped around her stomach.
Lydia winced internally under the unyielding stare. She was already too far gone. Like mother, like daughter. Evidently there was no helping some people. But .. she owed it to Deborah's memory to try one more time, to make one final appeal to the girl's moral conscience. If she prodded hard enough, she could probably find it in there somewhere.
"Skye .." She began again, her eyes searching Skye's in a beseeching fashion. "I remember you when you first came here. You were such a sweet child, quiet and kind, if a little shy and oblivious. You can be that girl again."
She smiled hopefully.
"You have so much potential if you'd only use it, but here you are, running about wildly and throwing yourself at that Taylor boy instead. It's beyond disappointing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's downright disgusting behaviour, and I expect more of you. The whole colony does. You're better than this."
Skye stared at her, a red haze slowly creeping up and over her features. She had been surprised at first, amused even, but enough was enough. She disentangled her arm firmly from the woman's grip, pulling herself up a little straighter.
"How dare you-"
"Just listen-"
"No, you listen!" Skye bristled, flames darting from her eyes. "I don't know who you think you are, but apparently, you don't know me at all. I'm not better than this. Maybe I was once, but I changed a long time ago. I'll never be that young or naive again. This is who I am now, so if I were you, I'd get used to it."
Lydia stared at her in horror.
"I-"
Skye held up a hand abruptly, causing the woman to flinch as though she expected to be slapped.
"The truth is, I hardly know you either. And after today, I hope I never do. So forgive me if I disappoint you, but .." She trailed off, suddenly breaking into a smile as she clenched her jaw stubbornly. "Actually, forgive me or don't. It won't make one bit of difference to me either way."
"What a horrible girl!" Lydia gasped as she walked off, her voice just loud enough to reach Skye's ears. "Who would have thought Deborah could have such a bad apple? .. I guess the proof is in the pudding after all."
She watched angrily as the girl's figure wandered away, shoulders squared and head held high, the wind tossing her untamed hair cheerfully as she went. But there was a whole other side Lydia couldn't see, and from that point of view, the breeze had an entirely different purpose. She watched with mounting hatred, completely unaware that the cheerful wind that clothed the girl with carelessness was the same wind that quietly picked up her falling tears, dried them, and carried them far away.
Lucas' house had somehow managed to escape every attack that the colony had endured thus far. To the left, a nearby house had been reduced to ashes. To the right, the flowerbed was now a giant scorch mark, but the small building in the middle stood just as solidly as the day it had been completed. Skye knocked lightly on the door, then swung it open and peered inside without waiting for a reply.
"Lucas? You in there?"
"Yeah." The voice was subdued, almost muffled. She followed it around the corner and into the kitchen, where Lucas was leaning on the counter, staring vacantly into space .. or the wall, depending on your point of view.
Skye paused a few feet away.
"Hey .. you okay?"
For a moment or two, he didn't respond. Then he glanced at her, shrugging slightly.
"I'm fine."
She nodded slowly, pulling a weak smile up and over her face. It was a sensation that felt unpleasantly like putting on a rubber mask. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and continued.
"You'll never believe the conversation I just had. I-"
"Actually, I'm kind of tired right now, Skye." He did move then, sliding past her and making his way into the lounge. "I've been up all night, I could really use some rest."
She stared at him, her insides recoiling so strongly at his manner that she found herself taking a step back.
"Oh."
He threw an expressionless glance in her direction.
"Sorry."
"It's okay." She replied automatically, resting her hand on the bench for a moment, then turning back toward the door. "I'll .. leave you to it then."
"Thanks. Oh, and while you're at it, take this with you." He picked a large pile of blanket off the couch and deposited it into her surprised arms. "I'm done with it."
Skye blinked down at the mass of material, recognizing it instantly. It was practically the oldest possession he had, the first gift anyone had given him when he had arrived here .. in the brig, that is. Her connection with it, however, went back even further. It was a blanket her mother had found in a crate brought in from one of the pilgrimages. She had loved the colour immediately and had secured permission to take it home. From that moment on, it had lived with them. Pilgrimages were rare and, as local production was nearly impossible in the beginning, supplies from the future were treated like treasures. On particularly cold nights, Deborah had laid the blanket over Skye, offering whatever extra warmth she could find to her only daughter. When Alex had gotten sick, Skye herself had retrieved it to try and quiet his feverish trembling, tucking him in carefully, as though the tightly knit material could somehow keep the sickness out. It had come with her when she moved, and had gone into one of the cupboards in her new shared house. There didn't seem to be any reason to leave it behind. Then Deborah had returned and they had moved back into their old house, shortly after which, the blanket had disappeared. Her mother had given it to Lucas. It had seemed strange at the time - to give a criminal a blanket. Perhaps it was still strange, but Lucas had treasured it. She knew he had. Now he was trying to get rid of it completely. She stared at him, her eyes searching his impassive face.
"But .. why wouldn't you keep it?"
Lucas shrugged.
"It takes up space. I don't use it anymore. I don't want it hanging around."
Skye's forehead creased in confusion.
"But .. that doesn't make any sense-"
"I don't want it!" Lucas exploded unexpectedly. "Take it now or I'll .. I'll burn it."
"You'll burn it?!" Skye repeated in outrage, hugging the rejected blanket to herself tightly. "This was my mom's!"
"I know. That's why I'm returning it to you." Lucas waved a hand dismissively at her, his outburst fizzling away as rapidly as it had arisen. "But I don't want it anymore, so get it out of my sight. It .. It's ugly. I can't bear to look at it."
Skye's eyes filled with furious tears.
"How dare you .. She gave this to you because she cared about you. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"It's just a blanket. I already have one. Keep it if you want. Or get rid of it. I don't care."
She watched him quietly, a tear making its way down her cheek.
"You'll want it back one day." She murmured. "I'll keep it for you."
Lucas scoffed.
"Why would I want it back? It's seen better days, trust me." He smiled kindly at her, but something was off about the expression, as though his mouth was trying its best to imprison his eyes. They still peered out behind the bars, however, hurting even as they lied. But the mouth won out. "Bucket, it's just a blanket. I thought you might want it. But it's alright if you don't."
"You don't have to do thi-"
"Do what?" Lucas interrupted before she'd finished her sentence. He'd turned back and was now staring at her. The challenging look in his eye warned her not to press the issue. She shook her head a little.
"Nothing. Thank you, I do want it. I'll take it back hom- I'll take it back to the barracks." She corrected herself. Lucas nodded and sighed sharply, as though the whole matter had been blown way out of proportion and he was glad to have it over with.
"Good."
Skye ran a hand along the soft material in her arms and held it closer, tucking it under her chin. She watched him for a minute more and then spoke.
"I better get back. Don't stay up all night."
"I won't." He smiled a little as she backed toward the door. "Bye, Bucket."
She paused on the threshold, hugging the rejected blanket to herself as she stepped out into the night.
"Bye."
Despite the coolness of the day, her sweaty clothes clung to her like leeches as she trudged back to the barracks, hot and tired. Finally, the morning's work was complete and the roof of the school had been repaired .. again. It was a somewhat pointless task, but she was glad of the distraction. She would be even more glad once she exchanged her filthy clothes for a set of clean ones. She sighed mentally. She had indoor duties for the rest of the day. How long would it be before she was allowed back into the field? Though a part of her still quaked inwardly at the thought, she was growing more restless with every passing day. She had to be sent out again soon. Surely Reilly wouldn't keep her back forever.
She had reached the porch and was halfway up the steps when she heard her name.
"Skye!" The voice beckoned with enthusiasm, sounding as though her sudden appearance had made its entire day. "Skye, Skye, c'mere."
"Dude, don't ask her!" Someone hissed, but Silas ignored them, continuing to hail Skye eagerly as she ascended the rest of the steps. He draped an arm around her as she joined the group on the right corner of the veranda. She raised an eyebrow questioningly at the other members of the gathering, but was met with the same nervous silence as the day before. She turned her attention back to the soldier beside her. For once, Silas seemed like the most normal person around.
"You've come just in time to try your luck at the wheel of fortune!" He announced, in a voice that sounded like a game show host from the future. "Snake bite, arrow to the chest, or plummet off a cliff?"
The guys around him were still casting uncomfortable glances at Skye, but Silas didn't seem to notice whatsoever. His fist hovered in front of her face as though he was holding an invisible microphone, his voice broadcasting out in the same irritating fashion.
"Well? Take your pick!"
Skye stared at him as though he had completely lost his mind.
"What-"
"Deaths!" Silas beamed, holding the 'microphone' up to his own mouth before turning it back on her again. "How do you wanna die?"
"I don't .." Skye frowned in confusion. "I don't .. really want to talk about it .."
"Come on, don't be a sissy." Her fellow soldier shook her lightly. "Death is where the fun really begins!"
"You don't mean that-"
"Just choose. You can even make up your own! The dumber the better. Orrr .." His voice dropped conspiratorially. "Just for you, I'll throw in a few extra options. We also have raptor carnage, building collapse, and the ever-popular slow-demise-by-poison, complete with hair loss and vomiting-"
"What .. no .." She almost looked as though she was actually going to take him up on the last option. She shrunk back, but his arm tightened around her, preventing her from escaping. "Let me go, I have work to do."
"Not until you answer the question." He responded lightly, but there was an unpleasant glint in his expression that no one failed to notice. He held a hand up in front of someone's nose as they began to speak. "Quiet! Let her answer herself."
"Silas-"
"Shut up." He cut the protesting voice off, peering into Skye's face instead. "Well? What'll it be?"
"Nothing!" Skye choked, shoving his arm away roughly. "Just leave me alone, alright?! If you guys want to play your own stupid game, you go right ahead. I don't want any part of it."
"Oh." Silas folded his arms, his eyes sparking like flint. "Look who's got all high and mighty all of a sudden. Thinks she's too good for us now she's been to the future, huh? Thinks she can do whatever she wants!"
He tried to exchange a laugh with the two guys behind him, but they looked at each other instead. Silas wasn't deterred. He turned back to Skye, the anger in his gaze contrasting with the fading grin on his face.
"Skye the Spy thinks she's immortal now, don'tcha, Tate?"
"What?!" Skye spat out, a growing fury mixing with her confusion. "What are you even talking about? Can you even hear yourself?!"
"And again with the patronization." Silas narrowed his eyes. "So your mom died, so what. Doesn't mean you're better than us all of a sudden."
"I .." As Skye's words failed her, he found his own arm restrained by one of his companions.
"Come on, man, lay off. She's had enough-"
"No, you know what, I think I've had enough." Silas shot back, wrenching his elbow from the other soldier's grip. He glared into Skye's face. "You haven't been one of us from the beginning, have you? First you're Taylor's favourite, then you get special treatment from Shannon. You think your life's any more valuable than the rest of us, princess?! You think you're so smart?"
"Smart?!" Skye exploded. "I can't believe you even know how to use the word smart! If you want to sit around and plan out how you're gonna die, you can do it without my help!"
"What, you think avoiding the subject's gonna somehow save your life?" Silas sneered. "Death comes to us all, Tate, even little snobs like you. It's only a matter of time."
Skye bristled, her eyes prickling with tears, her fists clenched. Silas blinked.
"Oh great, she's gonna cry now. So you lost someone, huh? So what, we've all lost someone. Get over it."
He made to shove past her, but on his way through, his arm was wrenched backward so sharply, he cried out in pain. He found Skye's face next to his ear, her eyes glittering brightly.
"Talk about my mother again, and I will break your arm right off." She stumbled backwards as Silas pulled free and shoved her away, rotating his shoulder gingerly.
"Bah, you think a tiny flea like you could ever hurt me? Really? Go right ahead and try. It's the fastest way to join your dear mother-"
His head jerked sideways before he could finish the taunt, a fistful of his hair in Skye's unrelenting grip. He attempted to fight her off, but her other hand was raining down several sharp blows to his rib cage. This continued until one of the soldiers pulled her back, while another did his best to control a half-berserk Silas.
"Stop! Enough!"
Skye strained against the arms holding her, her eyes flashing wildly at Silas.
"You wanna talk about dying?! Fine! Go throw yourself off a cliff, go take an arrow to the head, go .. go find a slasher to finish you off. I don't care anymore!"
She shook her head, taking a few uneven steps backward as her restraints loosened. Silas stared uncertainly at the flood of tears streaming down her cheeks, as though he could no longer decide whether or not he should still be angry. They watched each other for several moments until Silas broke contact, dropping his head sullenly, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears. He turned his back on her as she fled, her footsteps echoing against the wooden boards beneath his feet.
Half an hour later, Skye forced herself to leave the dormitory, avoiding the image of her washed-out face in the mirror. She had no reason to hide, after all. The events of the morning had been Silas' doing. Everyone that had witnessed it knew as much. She would do her best to avoid him, as she was sure he'd be avoiding her. They both had their own work to do.
She wasn't expecting to see her commanding officer waiting for her at the foot of the stairs.
"Skye." Reilly's voice was friendly enough. Maybe the rumours hadn't reached her yet. "Everything okay?"
Or maybe they had. Skye paused, picking at a patch of rough wood on the railing.
"Yeah, fine." She replied, trying to sound as normal as possible. "Why's that?"
Reilly leaned on the bottom end of the banister.
"I just passed Silas on the way in."
Skye's heart dropped.
"Looked pretty upset." Reilly continued in the same casual manner. "Have you talked to him recently?"
For a moment, Skye didn't respond. Then she shook her head slowly.
"I hate him."
"We all hate him sometimes." The acting commander retorted, causing Skye's eyes to flick up to hers. Reilly smiled a little, managing to draw a slight smile from her subordinate in return.
"Look, I don't know what he said to you, but try and iron it out, will you? Please?"
The smile disappeared as Skye shook her head again.
"I don't know if .."
"Please." Reilly repeated. "When push comes to shove, we're really all each other has. We can't be fighting amongst ourselves. Try and make up with him? For my sake?"
Her pleas were met with stubborn silence. Reilly hesitated a moment, then looked up again, speaking a little quieter.
"These last couple of weeks have been hard for him too. You're not the only person who's lost someone close to you, you know."
Skye glanced at her quickly.
"That's what he said."
Reilly nodded, pushing away from the railing with a sigh.
"I won't harass you any more. You're smart enough to make up your own mind." She smiled up at the girl above her. "Just remember one thing .. life's too short to hold grudges. Really. It is."
Skye hesitated, running her thumb over the splintered wood.
".. I know."
"Good." Reilly's shoulders slumped a little as she relaxed, relieved that her part in the matter had been successfully completed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm starving-"
"Skye!"
She nearly jumped out of her skin as Curran exploded inside. The dinosaur trainer pulled up beside her, ending his headlong charge abruptly to stare up at Skye in excitement.
"There you are!" He exclaimed, his voice still unnecessarily loud. "We've been looking for you everywhere! Come on, you have got to see this."
"Come on!" Dunham was right behind him. Reilly watched in bewilderment as, together, the two bolted up to the second floor, taking possession of both of Skye's arms and half hauling her down the stairs between them, leaving little room for protest.
"Sorry .. ma'am!" Dunham cried as he passed Reilly. "Important business! Be back for dinner!"
As if taken by whirlwind, the two vanished out the door as quickly as they had arrived, this time carrying their new captive along at breakneck speed. Reilly stared after them wonderingly.
"I .. guess lunch will have to wait."
Right. Left. Spin. Back.
The cup in his hands continued its alternating rotation, never quite completing the circle before he stopped it, sending it whirling in the other direction. The cup was full. Every now and then when the spinning reversed, an amber-colored wave would slosh over the rim and decorate the table. A stream of sunlight filtered down through a jagged hole in the roof. At the head of the room, the eerie gaze of the ship's figurehead watched his every move, sending prickles of discomfort down his neck. The bustle of the Hall continued around him, but he didn't hear it. The cup kept spinning.
Behind him, a few nameless soldiers sat talking. His ears tuned in and out of the conversation.
"They say one of them future men died yesterday. Diplodocus whipped its tail around and snapped him straight in the back. Broke it instantly. They reckon the idiot stumbled upon a nest. Serves him right if you ask me."
Another splash hit the table. Someone slid into the seat opposite him. The cup kept spinning.
"Lucas." A gentle voice tried to break through the mesh encircling his mind. He pictured it pressing in, then rebounding away .. far away. The voice, however, was persistent. It pushed forward again, tearing a small hole in his protective shield and peering inside.
"How are you, love?"
He didn't appear to have heard her for several moments, but then the cup stopped, and his eyes slid upward to meet those of the colony shrink. Unsurprisingly, he didn't appear to be filled with joy at her presence.
"Oh, great." He muttered, returning his attention to his cup. "Who sent you?"
Monica's mouth twitched.
"I never reveal my sources."
"Maddy?" He studied her for a moment, his eyes narrowing. ".. Josh."
She laughed a little, but said nothing. It was close enough to an admission of guilt however. He rolled his eyes as he sent the cup spinning again, causing it to lose even more liquid.
"Little punk. Should've known he'd try something like this."
Monica's gaze left him as she leaned her arm on the table, focusing instead on rearranging one of her bracelets.
"If one of the Shannons mentioned you to me, you have no reason to be upset with them. They're worried about you. We all are."
"All of you." Lucas scoffed under his breath. "Right."
"It's the truth." She folded her arms in front of her, watching him seriously. "So how are you, really?"
Lucas stared dully at her.
"What, Boylan doesn't pay enough, you have to keep up your side job as well?"
The former counsellor smiled at him.
"No side job. No tricks. Just a simple waitress trying to be friendly."
"Waitresses serve food. I suggest you go do that."
She eyed him for a moment, then reached down beside her, seeming to produce a dish from thin air. Lucas stared as she placed it gently on the table, pushing it towards him.
"Dinner is served then."
This at least drew a thin smile from her companion.
"Very clever."
"Why, thank you." Monica grinned briefly and rested her arms back on the table. "Want to tell me what's troubling you? I might not be employed in an official capacity anymore, but I'm a good listener."
The cup wobbled and nearly overbalanced. He gripped it tightly, setting it deliberately back down in front of him. Then, with a flick of his fingers, he sent it whirling around once more. Back and forth, left then right, around it went.
"Tempting, but hard pass."
"You were very close to Deborah, weren't you-"
"Don't."
The voice was final. She sighed a little.
"It might help to talk about it, you know. It often does."
"I didn't come here for company and I'm not staying for a lecture. Please, just go."
"Alright. Suit yourself." Despite her words, she showed no signs of going anywhere. Lucas remained silent for another moment or two, then looked back up at her.
"I said go."
"I know." She smiled kindly. "But Lucas, honey, it's not good for a person to keep their feelings bottled up for too long. You need to talk about it."
"You might as well give up." He muttered, sounding almost triumphant. "I'm not talking to you."
"Fine!" She brightened unexpectedly. "Don't talk to me. Who else do you have around to talk to? What other friendships have you cultivated during your time here?"
He stared down at the table in silence. The cup had stopped spinning.
"Who can you confide in?" She persisted. "Who do you trust enough to talk to? Anyone?"
She eyed him in a bird-like manner, her head tilted slightly.
"You know, the more time and effort you spend pushing people away, the harder it is to catch up with them again."
"I asked you to leave." The low voice came from across the table. Lucas' voice trembled with anger, his eyes piercing into hers like daggers. "Either you go, or I go, but either way, this ends right now."
She studied him for a moment, as though sizing up his resolve, but then she nodded slowly, seeming almost sad at the way things had turned out.
".. alright." She murmured. "I'll leave you to it then."
He avoided her gaze as she slid out of the booth, standing and dusting herself off. When she finished, she stood still for a moment, watching him.
"And Lucas .. I hope you do have somebody on your side. But for whatever it's worth, my door is always open." She sighed a little then and started away, pausing to tap him lightly on the arm as she passed, gesturing to the plate in front of him. "Don't let it get cold."
With that, she was gone. Barely two minutes later, the booth was abandoned completely. The door to the Hall swung shut. The food hadn't been touched.
And the cup lay empty on the floor.
Skye's laugh came out in odd bursts as she gasped for breath. On either side of her, her captors did the same. They had refused to release her until they had reached the edge of the field outside of the colony - a long stretch of land that was often utilized for training operations and not much else. She squinted against the sun, looking around curiously. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She peered up at Curran. His eyes appeared to be locked on something some distance away.
"Well?" She elbowed him, drawing his attention back down to her with a laugh. "Are you gonna tell me why I've been kidnapped, or .. ?"
"More fun if you see it for yourself." He responded, his eyes twinkling. "Come on."
He led off down the field, and with a mystified glance at Dunham, she followed. Before long, however, her footsteps slowed. An odd contraption had been constructed on the opposite end of the paddock. At first, she had assumed it was merely another trebuchet, but it appeared to be moving of its own accord. She frowned.
"What .."
It was growing much clearer now, as several soldiers around it strained to pull it into the centre of the field. Above the odd wooden frame, a large pterosaur flapped vigorously, trying to rid itself of the leather straps that were somehow managing to restrain it. Beneath the creature hung the small figure of a human, darting in and out of view as the movement of the animal above caused it to swing back and forth beneath the beams. It seemed tiny compared to the giant wings above it.
"Tada!" Dunham exclaimed, throwing his hands out toward the object. "Welcome to our first test run!"
"Your .. test run .." Skye repeated, staring at him with a sinking feeling. "Please tell me that's one of our training dummies in there."
"Nope." Curran grinned from her other side, folding his arms. "Silas. He volunteered actually. Only one mad enough to do it. Guy's got guts, you gotta give him that."
Skye turned back to the contraption in horror.
"Is he doing what I think he's doing?"
"Yep! .. if you think he's manning the world's first pterosaur-powered aircraft, that is."
Her mouth went dry as Curran and Dunham high-fived each other in excitement.
"But .. doesn't he release he'll be killed?!"
"Nah, he'll be fine." Curran waved her worries away airily. "That's what the parachute's for."
"What if he hits the trees?!" Skye exploded, staring at the trainer as though he'd lost his mind. "Some help the parachute's gonna be!"
Curran laughed, nudging her lightly with his arm.
"He won't hit the trees. Now stop worrying so much and- Oh! There he goes!"
There he did indeed go. As the straps fell away, the half-crazed animal launched itself into the air, jerking Silas' miniature form along beneath it like a rag doll. It was evident from the beginning that he had no control whatsoever of the creature. Skye watched with a sick feeling as he was carried away across the field at an alarming speed, dangling helplessly from the pterosaur. Her heartbeat drowned out the cheering voices around her as he rose, higher and higher. Suddenly, the creature lurched sideways, trying to rid itself of the excess baggage. Silas, apparently feeling it was an ideal time to abandon ship, dropped out of the sky like a stone.
"The parachute! Pull the parachute!" Curran screamed feverishly from beside her, suddenly panicking himself. Silas couldn't hear him, of course, but it would seem he had the same idea. Half a second later, the parachute unraveled, exploding into the atmosphere above him like a giant mushroom. Unfortunately, it didn't help. Caught immediately by the strong wind currents, the parachute jerked one way as the pterosaur went the other. Dead silent now, the small group watched from below as the material dragged Silas directly into the branches of a nearby tree. An involuntary cry broke from Skye as the two collided. Silas fell, crashing into the underbrush and disappearing from view.
She was running before she had decided to start. Skye reached the trees first, the cries of the others following close behind her. Her heart lurched as she caught sight of the parachute, the bright, mismatched colours standing out against the dark green of the forest.
"Silas!"
There seemed to be more parachute than jungle. She scooped up armfuls of the material and cast it aside, wading into the centre to look for the body, terrified at the thought of what she might uncover. Surely it would be mangled beyond recognition after a fall like that. As she reached a trembling hand out to pull aside another fold of the parachute, however, she paused. It was moving. She listened, dumbfounded. It was .. laughing? She swept the material aside to reveal a nearly hysterical Silas hidden underneath. His cackle, no longer smothered by the parachute, rang out for a moment before cutting off short. He stared up at her in surprise.
"Skye?"
"What are you doing?!" She gasped, dropping shakily to her knees beside him. "Idiot! You could've been killed."
"I .." Silas lay in the underbrush for a few seconds, staring at her. Then he sat up. His hair was tousled, but apparently, despite the perilous descent, he was miraculously unhurt. Perhaps even the angels had a soft spot for Silas Irving.
Nearby, Curran held a hand out to halt Dunham's approach. Silas didn't appear to have noticed either one of them. He shrugged, some of his former bad temper returning as he untangled his limbs from the endless cord.
"Yeah, well .. why would you care anyway?"
"Of course I care." Skye laughed, her voice trembling a little. Silas looked at her quickly, watching with wide eyes as she continued.
"I don't want to lose anyone else either."
"I'm sorry." He smiled unexpectedly, his manner changing in an instant. "Those things I said. I didn't mean them."
She looked into his face, finding to her surprise that she actually believed him. She sighed, shaking her head as she returned the smile.
"Me neither."
"He might be an idiot .." Curran appeared between them then, putting an arm around each one and grinning at them both in turn. He left the sentence hanging for so long, however, that Silas snorted in outrage.
"Thank a lot, man!"
The trainer chuckled, shaking the two of them affectionately.
".. but he's our idiot. Both of you are."
"Thanks very much." Skye retorted.
As Curran corralled the rest of the men and enlisted their help "to catch the bird", Skye turned back to the recovery effort. Silas ducked his head to help her as she pulled one of the parachute ropes off his neck, once again marveling at the fact that he had emerged unscathed. She threw the discarded cord behind him, then sat back on her heels, hesitating.
"Hey .. I'm sorry too .. about Victoria."
"Yeah." His usual happy-go-lucky manner disappeared for a moment as he stared out across the field, his eyes falling on the current attempts at wrangling the pterosaur. It had managed to hook itself on something, but was still putting up a nasty fight. Two men took off, racing after it. He laughed as one dived, trying in vain to catch one of the straps trailing after the creature, then turned back to Skye, the grief in his features fading as he shook his head.
"Yeah." He repeated, offering such a genuine smile that Skye wondered briefly if she had ever really known him at all. "Yeah, me too. Friends again?"
She scoffed, grimacing a little.
"I mean, I really .. I wouldn't go that far .. ?"
"Oh, you wouldn't?" He grinned and elbowed her suddenly, throwing the rest of the parachute off and leaping up as she regained her balance. "You're a jerk, Tate. You know that?"
He glanced over his shoulder quickly.
"Aw man, looks like they need some help. Last one back has to roll up the parachute!"
With that, he took flight, leaving Skye to shout in fury and race after him, trying in vain to catch up to the leggy sprinter as he sped away across the field.
"You know, you didn't need to bring this today. It wasn't urgent."
Lucas shrugged, thrusting his hands into his pockets as his gaze darted about the room.
"Wasn't like it was a long trip."
"Hm." Malcolm tapped the storage device against his palm, studying his apprentice thoughtfully. "Well, since you're here, you might as well have a cup of tea. It's on me."
Lucas scoffed as the other man turned away, sliding the drive onto the counter and heading for the sink.
"You and your tea."
"Go on, sit down." Malcolm waved him to the couch cheerfully. "This will be ready in just a minute."
He wasn't far wrong. If there was one thing Malcolm had perfected throughout the course of his life, it was tea. Within minutes, he was sitting across from Lucas, one leg crossed over the other as he sipped from his own cup. Lucas' sat untouched on the coffee table.
"Drink up." His boss commanded. "Don't insult me by letting it get cold."
Lucas smiled a little as he reached for the mug, turning it around in his hands as he watched the contents swirl. Malcolm eyed him quietly.
"How are you doing anyway?"
"Don't worry, no one's burned the place down yet."
"I wasn't asking about the Lab, and you know it." Malcolm retorted severely, causing his overqualified assistant to glance up at him. "How are you doing?"
Lucas shrugged, returning his gaze to his cup.
"Fine."
"That's not what your swollen eyebags are telling me."
He received an unfriendly glare in return, but still the physicist said nothing. Malcolm cocked his head.
"What, can't sleep?"
Lucas shrugged again.
"Or won't sleep?" Malcolm tried, studying the younger man's face. "What is it, nightmares? Memories? .. Punishment?"
Lucas glanced up at him, but then quickly looked away again. The head researcher raised an eyebrow.
"Punishment .. for what? You didn't kill her."
"Stop it."
"Why? It's the truth." Malcolm countered reasonably. "She was sick. You couldn't have healed her if the doctors couldn't. Creating medicine isn't your area of expertise. You couldn't have reversed time to stop her getting sick. You couldn't prolong her life, nobody could. You couldn't even ease her pain by some miraculous invention of your own making."
Lucas clamped his jaw shut, staring stubbornly into his cup.
"Is that what's bothering you?" Malcolm persisted. "You were helpless. The brilliant physicist can solve every problem in the world, but he can't prevent death."
"Stop!" Lucas snapped angrily at him before returning his attention to his mug. Malcolm smiled a little and went to fold his arms, but found his cast blocking his movement. Somewhat annoyed, he stretched his good arm out along the back of the couch instead.
"You did the most important thing, you know."
"What." Lucas muttered softly. Malcolm tilted his head again, peering into the boy's troubled face.
"You made her life better while she suffered."
Lucas shook his head as a familiar irritating cloud began to muddle his vision.
"I should've been able to think of something. If I couldn't save her .."
"Exactly right. If you couldn't save her, no one could." Malcolm leaned forward a little, as though trying to make sure his words reached his younger companion. "And no one could."
"I could have."
"No, Lucas, you couldn't." His supervisor squashed the statement firmly. "You're a human. An unusually intelligent one, perhaps, but still a human. A weak, useless, powerless homo sapiens just like the rest of us, and there is nothing you can create or invent or conjure up to stop death. Even the best of us can only prevent it for a short time in rare circumstances, under very specific conditions. And this wasn't one of those times."
Lucas fell silent, occupying himself by tilting his mug back and forth, watching the contents come dangerously close to the rim before retreating, only to rise again to teeter against the other side. Malcolm waited. It took several minutes for the physicist to find his voice, and when he finally did, it was barely louder than a whisper.
"It came back the other night."
Malcolm studied him quietly.
"What did?"
"The same old rage .." Lucas murmured. ".. surging like lava inside my head until I wanted to scream my lungs raw."
He was still gazing into his cup, but he no longer appeared to be seeing it.
"I guess sometimes you don't realize something's even gone until it returns. I never wanted it back. It's .. terrifying."
He looked up suddenly, searching Malcolm's face for some trace of dismay or, worse, horror. He found none. Somewhat reassured, he continued.
"I never realized how frightened I was of my own temper. Now I do."
"A healthy fear of one's own temper could hardly be called a bad thing." Malcolm retorted, watching him curiously. "And it's natural to be angry when something is taken from you. After all, you don't have a choice in the matter. It feels unjust somehow."
"Hm."
"You fell into the trap of blaming your father the first time." The head researcher commented, as though Lucas had forgotten the fact. "The problem with that - the problem with blaming anyone after something like this happens - is that it only ever really delays the inevitable. Sooner or later, you have to face the reality that, whoever's fault it was, that person is gone. Being angry at someone else is a nice distraction, but it can only ever be a temporary one."
He had to hide his surprise as Lucas nodded slowly, agreeing with him for once.
"The first time it was easy." The younger man muttered. "Dad was the obvious choice for a fall guy. This time .."
He ran his hand through his hair, then rested it wearily over the side of his face.
".. I don't even know who to blame. There's no one responsible, no one at fault. It just .. happened."
"That's absolutely right." Malcolm leaned forward and set his half-empty cup on the coffee table. "There was nothing you could have done. There was nothing anyone could do. It was horrible, yes, but sometimes horrible things just .. happen."
"It's out of our control then."
"Of course it is." The chief science officer responded matter-of-factly. "Always has been."
"But .. still .." Lucas' chest rose and fell sharply, as though he had been holding his breath for some time and was only just now trying to make up for it. "I .. I should've .."
"You should've what?" Malcolm barked. "You should've spent all the time she had left at your desktrying to come up with some way to prevent her death? Only to fail anyway and have her die after spending her final days alone and forgotten."
"No, of course not, but-"
"Then stop second-guessing yourself." Malcolm ordered. "Yes, be sad. Yes, miss her. But forgive yourself. The only thing you're guilty of is making a dying woman's days a little brighter and reminding her she wasn't alone when all was said and done. She needed you. You were there. The end."
Lucas blinked. Several tears fell from his eyes and shattered as they fell into his cup. He leaned forward and pushed the diluted tea away across the table, refocusing his attention on the new task of folding and unfolding his fingers.
"And now she's gone."
"Yes." Malcolm agreed gently. "But don't regret that she lived."
Something about the words seemed to stab an old wound inside Lucas. He shuddered a little and then dropped his head into his hands with a sob. Malcolm's eyes wandered away to stare out the window at the slate grey sky, wondering vaguely at the way the bright flowers in the garden bed contrasted with the dull atmosphere above. They were in for more snow, he could sense it. Maybe he was developing the instinct after all.
A few minutes later, Lucas stopped crying and cleared his throat, wiping his eye with the palm of his hand. As though he had been waiting for his cue, Malcolm immediately slapped his knee with his functioning arm and stood up.
"Well, I've about had it with this recuperation." He looked down gravely at his apprentice, meeting Lucas' gaze as the boy stared back up at him. "I'm pronouncing myself healed. And I'm starving. Go out the back and get yourself cleaned up and then we'll go find ourselves something to eat."
Unfortunately for Lucas, he took a little longer to move than Malcolm would have liked, and shortly thereafter found a cushion colliding with his head. He flinched as the missile struck him and glared back at the other man, who was now busying himself with the somewhat complicated task of putting on his jacket.
"Well, hurry up or I'm leaving without you. Go!"
Lucas rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. Malcolm watched with satisfaction, smiling to himself as the physicist left the room.
"Skye."
Skye blinked, staring around in confusion. The dormitory was dark. What time was it? What had woken her?
"Skye."
The voice, more urgent now, came from across the room, but it was still too dark to make anyone out. Skye sat up and blinked again, trying to rub the mist of sleep from her eyes.
"Who is it? Who's there?"
Her breath caught in her throat as a pale form emerged slowly from the shadows, seeming to reflect the moonlight outside to the point where it was nearly glowing itself. A woman. The clothes that she wore took on a life of their own as the breeze from the window caused them to ripple and float about her like ocean waves. The gentle movement made it difficult to focus on the figure in the centre. Skye blinked again as the woman drew nearer still. How had she gotten in here? Why was everyone else still sleeping? Surely someone would ..
Her thoughts were interrupted as the woman paused beside the bed, shaking her head slightly. She seemed to be laughing. Skye stared up into the gentle face, her eyes suddenly widening as she recognized the affectionate smile the visitor wore.
"Mom .."
Deborah's smile widened as she shrugged.
"Guilty."
Skye leaned forward, her heartbeat quickening.
"But .. how-"
"Hush." Her mother stepped forward, sitting gracefully down on the bed beside her. "There will be time for all of that later."
Skye stared at her mother.
"But .. I thought you were .."
"I know." A shadow of sadness crossed Deborah's face. "I couldn't shield you from that pain, no matter how badly I wished I could. I'm sorry."
Skye's forehead wrinkled in confusion as she tried to make sense of the situation. Her mother was here, she was herself, and yet she wasn't the same at all. She looked so peaceful; the absence of pain or worry in her face was startlingly apparent. There was a strange sort of beauty about her, as though this here, this version of her was what she had been supposed to be like all along. Just being near her was so safe, Skye was nearly overwhelmed by the feeling. She'd almost forgotten what it was like.
Deborah suddenly looked away and sighed wistfully.
"The moon is so beautiful tonight, and yet you can barely see it in here." She stared into the patch of nothingness nearby, as though she was picturing some far-off place in her mind. "When I was sick, so long ago now, I used to lie awake at night and stare up at that same moon, just begging .. begging God to protect you."
She turned back to Skye with a smile.
"I believed I could endure anything as long as I knew my little girl was safe."
"Mom .." Skye searched the woman's face, her own vision growing blurry. "I miss you."
Deborah reached out and cradled her daughter's cheek in her hand, gently wiping a falling tear away with her thumb.
"I know. But it's going to be alright, Bucket. Be brave, like I know you are. There are people here who still need you." She smiled, her eyes shining in the moonlight. "I want you to remember me. Remember what I've taught you. Remember .. and smile. There have been so many times you were the only reason I could. I don't want to be the reason you can't."
Skye stared into her mother's calm face with a sinking feeling. She was leaving. And this time, she would never come back.
"Mom .." She whispered. ".. don't go."
Deborah smiled affectionately, then leaned forward, firmly kissing Skye's forehead.
"I love you, my daughter."
She wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her close one last time.
"I always will."
Skye came awake with a jolt and sat up in bed once more, looking around the room frantically .. but it was dark and empty. The dream was already fading. Her mother was gone.
The sudden feeling of loneliness that swept over her was almost too painful to bear. She lay in bed for some minutes, fighting tears until her throat ached with the effort and she felt she might drown in them. Finally tiring of the situation, she pushed herself up, slipping out of the covers as silently as she could and reaching for her army jacket. The dark green seemed to melt so completely into the wooden bed frame that she spent several seconds fumbling around for it, but eventually her hand fell onto the material and she pulled it on, taking great care not to squeak the temperamental floorboards as she left the room.
The moment she stepped outside, the cool night air rushed to greet her, filling her lungs and tossing her loose strands of hair as though it wanted to play. It almost felt for a moment like she could fly away with it. She took another deep breath and sunk her hands into the warm pockets of her jacket, closing her eyes briefly before raising them to look up at the moon. Her mother had been right - it was beautiful. Though it wasn't quite round enough to be called a full moon, it was large and white and glowing, and above all, it blanketed the colony with such a peaceful soft light that Skye suddenly wanted to laugh. After absorbing the pleasant atmosphere for a few more seconds, she began to walk. She didn't know where she was going exactly, but she walked anyway, enjoying the crunch of the familiar gravel under her feet, enjoying the breeze and the quiet and the strange ceasefire that had been brought on lately by the departure of the daylight. It had been nearly a week since the last overnight attack, and no one could quite figure out why, but for now, it didn't matter.
As she neared Lucas' house, however, her heart leapt into her throat. A shadowy figure stood just under the shelter of the porch, outlined against the deep blue darkness behind him. It took her several seconds to realize the obvious - that it was, in fact, just Lucas himself. Shaking her head a little, she moved forward to stand beside him. He must have seen her coming, because he didn't seem at all surprised by her appearance. He began to speak without even looking at her, as though it was a perfectly normal habit to wander about the colony in the middle of the night.
"Do you think they're out there somewhere .. our mothers?"
She looked quickly up at him, but his eyes remained locked on the moon above.
"Yeah." She smiled a little, returning her own gaze to the sky. "I do."
His voice came again a moment later.
"Do you think they'd get along?"
"Yeah." Skye repeated softly. "They're probably inseparable already."
Lucas actually looked down at her this time, studying her expression for a moment, as though trying to gauge the sincerity of her statement. Then, smiling a little, he turned his attention back to the atmosphere above him, hugging his own jacket more tightly around himself as the cold wind ruffled his hair.
"Yeah." He murmured. "Yeah, you're probably right."
A distant howl echoed forlornly down from the mountains, and Skye buried her hands deeper into her pockets. She felt Lucas' arm move beside her as he shifted.
"Nice night for a walk."
She blinked up at him and then threw a glance back down the street, laughing a little as she returned her gaze to the starry blanket above. She had come so far without even realizing it. At the time, she had simply been putting one foot in front of the other, wandering about with no particular destination in mind. Yet somehow she had ended up exactly where she was supposed to be. She stared up at the heavens, smiling as an odd thrill of joy rippled through her.
"Yeah. Yeah, it is."
*Author's Note*
Dude. This set of chapters (aside from being alarmingly LONG .. sorry .. X'D) were just .. sad. ;-;
But fear not! We have now overcome the hurdle of the saddest part of the entire trilogy! Huzzah! We have survived it!
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Thanks for sticking with it. Until next time (after which, all according to plan, we should be very near the end! D8 Christmas holidays, here we .. come?)! X'D
- George DeWhite