Disclaimer: Not mine, borrowed and nurtured. A/N: I'm not sure how many of y'all are still reading this but I finally thought of a few other ideas.

Berkeley Series

viii.

As Time Goes By

Ryan hadn't thought about Kevin Volchok in years, and he wasn't ready to see him again in person. Yet, as Ryan walked through the District Court after winning the case surrounding Dylan's adoption, obscuring the exit was the man responsible for killing Marissa Cooper. Ryan clenched his jaw, avoiding the latter's gaze, he quickened his pace.

Sandy Cohen barred his clients from harm, "We need to exit."

Volchok's lawyers picked up on the tension.

Volchok had spent six years in prison, six years of a life sentence.

Ryan had almost killed him with his bare hands. He wasn't sure he wouldn't do it again.

"I've got a message from Trey," Volchok called out. "Your brother and I were cellmates."

Dylan stared at the taller man in confusion as Sandy gestured for Volchok to be removed.

"His hearing is tomorrow."

Ryan hesitated, his head clouding with darkness, "I don't have time for this."

Volchok shrugged, "I guess he misses you."

Ryan clenched his fists, "I gave you both a chance and you blew it."

Volchok nodded, "You don't think I regret that night? She's dead because of me."

Sandy squeezed his shoulder in comfort, "Let's go. Come on Dylan."

"I see her face in my dreams, I'm never going to escape the accident."

Ryan sniffed back tears, "Good. Neither will I."

They piled into the car when Sandy turned on the ignition, "You okay?"

Ryan shook the wreckage from his mind, a day of triumph shadowed by his past.

He nodded, although silent for the rest of the car ride. He didn't notice their destination until they parked – the beachfront, where the sea breeze always cleared his head.

"I thought we could go for a run," Sandy indicated, pocketing his keys.

"A run? Now?" Dylan eyed the storm clouds above them.

"I know you have lots of questions," Sandy steered Dylan towards the beach.

Ryan threw his jacket into the jeep and untucked his shirt, he had to give it to Sandy, when he was hurting it was a Cohen tradition to share that pain. He began to run, sprinting through the sand, a crack of thunder above didn't deter him. He had worked hard to get where he was now, and taken a page from Sandy's book of compassion to adopt Dylan, and remove him from a toxic environment, an environment very much like the one he'd grown up in. Rain hit his face, and he yelled in frustration, pushing himself further until he collapsed beneath the wharf to gather his breath.

"Who was she?"

He and Dylan were waiting in the jeep for Sandy to return with kebabs and drinks.

"A friend."

Dylan pondered his answer for some time, whilst Ryan listened to the waves hitting the shoreline.

"What was she like?"

Ryan could see her face, drowning in the setting sun as she stood on the curb.

He could hear her laugh as Ryan threw her into the pool on their first date.

He felt her kisses as they sat on that stupidly high Ferris wheel.

Ryan half smiled, "She was out of my league, but I loved her."

Dylan matched his grin, "Newport girls? Any tips?"

Ryan thought hard, "Befriend them first."

Ryan found himself at Marissa's grave, the grave he'd refused to visit the day of her funeral. He thought he had grieved, thought time had healed his scars, but he would never recover from her death. Seeing Volchok reminded him of how Ryan carried Marissa's body from the wreckage.

A cry escaped him, loud and unstable.

Why when he was finally happy, would he be confronted with this choice?

"Atwood," Summer sat beside him, sitting with her legs out, a comforting hand on her belly.

"Where's Seth?" a new worry embraced him – was she alone?

"Gone for icecream. Taylor's worried about you. Is everything okay?"

Ryan sighed, "It's never gonna get easier, is it?"

Summer understood, "Missing her? Never."

Ryan heard an owl hoot nearby. "Volchok told me Trey has a hearing tomorrow."

Summer gasped, "They know each other? What are you going to do?"

Ryan hugged her shoulders, "I want to sit here with you and eat icecream."

Summer took his hand, "Oof, mini me is kicking."

The baby kicked again, and all Ryan's worries fell from his mind.

He should call Taylor and let her know he was okay.

"Well, this is morbid," Seth had arrived with MacDonald sundaes. "Ready to go?"

Summer placed the caramel by Marissa's gravestone, "Bon appetite, Coop."

Ryan was grateful to find Taylor and Dylan asleep when he arrived home. He had overreacted. Trey wasn't worth his time. No, he wouldn't go to the hearing. Volchok was obviously messing with his mind. His eyes grew heavy, his tongue sticky, he pulled the covers over him.

"Ryan?"

Ryan opened his eyes. "Taylor, can we talk in the morning?"

Taylor paused, "Technically it is morning, it's 3am."

Ryan sighed, rolling over to see her worried expression.

"Are we okay?" she whispered, her eyes big and round.

Ryan brushed her hair from her face, "Yes, we're okay. I'm sorry I scared you."

"Because you'd tell me before running off…?"

Ryan caressed her cheek, "I'm not having an affair. I went to Marissa's grave."

Taylor squeezed his hand, "You did? Why?"

Ryan sighed, "I saw Volchok, he told me Trey wants to see me."

Taylor sat up on her elbows, "What?! He's in prison again?"

"All the memories flooded back; I couldn't deal."

"I wish I could have been there for you," she whispered.

Ryan kissed her, "You're here now."

Taylor returned his kiss, "You taste like chocolate." She dug her fingers into his hair.

He lost himself in her arms and pulled at her t-shirt, forgetting Dylan in the next room.

"We can't wake Dylan…" she warned after his heated kisses became more urgent.

Ryan smirked, "He's a teenager, probably got his earphones in."

Taylor grinned against him, "Do you want to take that risk?"

Ryan kissed her neck; he could be persuasive. "Fine, you're lucky it's Saturday tomorrow."

Taylor pulled off her shirt, sitting in her lace underwear. Her breasts open for invitation.

"I love you Taylor," he whispered, as she threw her arms around him with a giggle.