Chapter 4
I hate Sirius Black.
What does Sirius Black have to do with all this, you may ask?
Many things transpired while I was trapped in Trevor's cage. Sirius Black was absolved, for one. He paid the ministry an incredible amount of money. It is believed to be equivalent to the net worth of my father. That is a lot of galleons. Believe me, even with my continuous effort, my family hadn't been able to spend them all.
He was hired as the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking. Black was obviously guilty. He had an unhealthy obsession with Potter, drooling all over him in class. He wants to gruesomely kill him, I'm sure. Not that I'm complaining.
"Draco, come here" Dumbledore said sleepily "I need to talk to you"
I sighed, and then, my hat sighed as well.
"What?"
"As I'm sure you can see, my health hasn't been the best since I let you live in my quarters" he said, his eyes black with tiredness, his previously long and white beard now grey and flimsy. His back arched in pain.
"Not really. You look the same to me." He was just jealous of my incredible ferret-like cuteness and my all new hair. I'm sure he never had an equal before. That's what I thought. And then the hat said it.
"Thank you for saying that. It makes this so much easier. Sirius!"
The criminal entered the room and looked at me with a grin. He tried to touch me with his dirty hand, and I hissed at him. He didn't care. He picked me up and started caressing my hair.
What a pervert.
"Sirius will be your new caretaker" Dumbledore said.
"WHAT? He is a criminal!" I screamed "Look at his face! No one this ugly could be innocent!"
In retrospect, I shouldn't have said that while being held by the same man I was insulting. Oh well. At least I got a great view of the school grounds when I flew out the window.
"In the future, Sirius, you shouldn't throw Draco out the window. Killing students is not permitted" Dumbledore said. He then handed me down to Black. "Here"
"I don't want to hold him again. There might be… consequences"
"Think of it as a self-control exercise"
Dumbledore then looked at me:
"Sirius is not a criminal. He was proven innocent"
"No, he wasn't! He bribed the ministry! I could do that myself!"
"Yeah…" Sirius said "Actually, you can't"
"The money Sirius gave the ministry was your own" Dumbledore took over. "He has been… sending letters to your father from you"
"But I didn't write any letters" I said. Then it dawned on me: If my father had spent his money, did that mean I was now as poor as a Weasley? I shuddered.
"As bright as his father" Sirius said. "I was pretending to be you, you dunce" and he gave me a light tap in the back.
"Wash your hands before you touch me"
When I came back through the window, Dumbledore gave me a crumpled paper. He asked me to read it aloud:
Dear father,
I, Draco Malfoy, am very happy at Hogwarts. As the Draco Malfoy I obviously am, I have attended all the classes that I take, and have had my fun insulting Potter. Well, to be frank, I haven't yet completed my daily Potter slandering. Potter is stupid. There, done for today.
Have I said that I'm obviously your son, Draco Malfoy?
I have been writing to the criminal Sirius Black. He is so amazing! Beautiful! Intelligent! Clever! The Merlin of today! 1 have realised that he doesn't deserve to be in Azkaban. I was wondering if you could… I don't know… help the ministry decide he's innocent? I imagine that a few million galleons will suffice. But you're the expert! Please, save this incredible man, gift to the world!
With love (there was a stain next to this word which smelled like vomit), your son, me.
I am Draco Malfoy.
PS: I wondered if you could change my name to "Dragon King of the Seven Realms"? I think that my current one is too subtle.
"That's right!" Dumbledore said. "I need to update your name in the registry" he got up "I'll leave you with your new caretaker. Goodbye, Dragon King of the Seven Realms"
Black snorted.
"Oh, shut up! As if your name is any better!"
Fun fact: You can reach the lake from the principal's window.