Chapter 8: There Is No Better Time Than Now

The evening came by and the cadets forced down another meal of poorly cooked chicken thighs accompanied with boiled lightly salted and peppered potatoes, half a bread roll, with peas and carrots.

Guan Ping's grey hues looked around at the tired pale faces of the cadets, he then glanced at Fa Zheng who glanced back, his mouth curved a bit as his brows ricocheted. Guan Ping felt the guilt creep in.

"I um… I know where they keep the food supplies" He confessed quietly avoiding eye contact.

Gan Ning and Ma Dai's, heads shot towards him and they all slid their bums closer across the bench and surrounded him. Though Ma Dai's expression of surprise differed from Gan Ning's. Lu Lingqi got up with her tray and joined her reaction calmer than the rest. Guan Ping looked up from his plate slowly at the expectant faces.

"You've known and you kept it to yourself. That's selfish" Ma Dai's smile turned sinister.

"I'm sorry" Guan Ping looked down and then noticed Fa Zheng glare at Ma Dai for his choice of wording.

"We could go before our mission, right?" Gan Ning blinked clueless, licking his fork.

Guan Ping nodded and forced a smile, his vision turning to Ma Dai, who smiled awkwardly and continued to mash his potatoes with his fork as to avoid Fa Zheng.

"Then let's raid boys… and the princess" Gan Ning smiled, and then put his hand out towards Lingqi.

"Don't call me that" She glowered pointing back with her knife and then used it to tear up her chicken, she made a disgusted face as she spotted the light red inner texture.

I couldn't decide whether I liked being among them, I felt awkward, I felt like I didn't belong there, even when they were nice to me, I was used to being alone all my life.

"At night fall we free the food!" Fa Zheng declared, trying to lighten the mood or tension even.

"Free the food" Lingqi said plainly, and Gan Ning and Fa Zheng laughed in sync.

"Yes!" Gan Ning exclaimed slamming the table with his cutlery.

Lingqi didn't talk much, but she talked more to Gan Ning, was I overthinking things? She was different and the only girl, but they liked having her around, I'm only thinking about this because I wanted to explain to myself that I could potentially fit in. Belong even.

"We'll meet in your room after dinner Gan Ning" Fa Zheng informed and Gan Ning nodded raising his brows wondering but did not protest. Ma Dai smiled and nodded too.

Was he feeling guilty, I couldn't tell? All I knew was I already wanted him to like me, I wanted them all too.

"Then it's decided, we will meet later team" Fa Zheng pushed his own plate forward as he rose from his chair, and Gan Ning helped himself to it, eating the barely touched mess. Guan Ping forced a smile, bowed his head and got up following Fa Zheng who was already waiting for him outside the food hall.

"Why not your room?" Guan Ping asked and Fa Zheng began to walk when he met up with him.

"No one needs to know you're staying with me" Fa Zheng informed, his steps are quick. Guan Ping jogs after him.

"You don't trust them?" Guan Ping questioned with a worried tone.

"No… Just better safe than sorry" Fa Zheng uttered, turning to Guan Ping to give a reassuring smile before he opened his bedroom door to let them both in.

He was lying, I could see it.

Guan Ping closed the door behind them. Fa Zheng squats down to the floor, taking the old bag from under, he sits on the ground, his back resting on the bed and unfolds it quickly, taking a huge bite from the bread and ham baton, he chomps ravenously, and then looks up offering some to Guan Ping. Guan Ping shakes his head to decline and sits beside him.

"Fa Zheng, what made you come here" Guan Ping asked, and the former's chewing slowed as he turned to look at him.

"Freedom" Fa Zheng blinked as he answered, crumbs of food on his face.

Guan Ping blinked softly, his belly growled lightly though not enough for Fa Zheng to notice.

Fa Zheng chewed some more and then looked at him again. "I want to get out this cage we've been brought up in, see the world you know" He emphasised.

"It's not safe out there" Guan Ping pointed out, intrigued but unable to remain serious as Fa Zheng chatted with crumbs on his face.

"You can't have everything. You have to give some things up for other things, you win some you lose some" Fa Zheng shrugged, and Guan Ping nodded in agreement.

About an hour later the two made their way to Gan Ning's room, he'd let them in, it seemed like the rest hadn't arrived yet. Gan Ning presses his hands on his own hips unamused.

"What?" Guan Ping looked around concerned.

"You two couldn't wait for the rest of us" He moaned and Fa Zheng looked at the two puzzled.

Guan Ping grinned "What are you talking about?" He inconvincibly asks and Fa Zheng's head rotates between the two still not sure what the topic of conversation is.

"The crumbs on your face buttercup" Gan Ning's eyes narrow, as he pokes Fa Zheng's face, his lips slip into a grin, struggling to stay serious.

Fa Zheng slaps his hand away, and his eyes taper as he uses the back of his hand to wipe his mouth.

"We didn't go yet, we had some leftovers from last time" Guan Ping explained amused and Fa Zheng sharked him for not telling him earlier.

"Is it gone?" Fa Zheng wiped his face again.

Gan Ning threw himself back on the bed, huffing loudly. "What's taking them so long?" He whined, and Fa Zheng sat beside him.

"Where does all that food go anyway?" Fa Zheng playfully pretended to elbow him in the stomach, and Gan Ning pretended to be hurt. He puts his arm around Fa Zheng playfully pretending to choke him by pulling him towards him, and Fa Zheng shrunk himself to avoid him.

"You wouldn't want your girlfriend to walk in and see" Fa Zheng teased trying to get out of his grasp.

"You are my girlfriend" Gan Ning joked tightening the lock of his arm around his neck. Fa Zheng smiled furrowing his brows as he looked at him, and then he took his head under slipping out and reaching for Guan Ping's wrist who stood there watching the two quietly. The door knocked immediately and Fa Zheng opened it pulling Guan Ping behind him and Gan Ning was on their heel too. Lu Lingqi stepped back not expecting them all to be so eager.

"Where's Ma Dai?" Gan Ning enquired.

"He's not feeling too good, he's sitting out, bad stomach" She shrugged nonchalant.

"We'll go on without him then" Fa Zheng announced, releasing Guan Ping's hand as they walked on. It's like he grabbed it without noticing in the first place.

"This way" Guan Ping mumbled quietly, as the four sneaked through the hallway and down the stairs. It was compelling, moving like a unit, rather than doing things alone.

They arrived at the door and Guan Ping tried to turn the handle but it was locked. He turned to the rest unsure of what to do next but Gan Ning had reached for Lu Lingqi's hair pin, gently removing it from her bleach blonde locks. She maintained eye contact with him as he did it and then narrowed her eyes as he removed it, Gan Ning grinned and winked at her though he took more care out of fearing her wrath.

"Allow me" He announced squeezing past to the door and squatting down to fiddle with the lock.

"How did you get in last time?" Lu Lingqi asked with a monotone voice.

"Uh, it was open, someone forgot to close it" Guan Ping lied and noticed Fa Zheng looking at him doubtful, Guan Ping's brows rose up and Fa Zheng's cocked up as he tried to avoid his eyes. It didn't take long for him to put two and two together and Guan Ping knew that too. It's a lot harder to lie to Fa Zheng. Sometimes you meet someone and they get you and you get them, that was what it was with Fa Zheng. It was instant.

"There we go" Gan Ning announced, opening the door and bowing dramatically. Fa Zheng led on, followed by Guan Ping and Lu Lingqi. The four entered wide eyed as the aroma invaded their nostrils. They all got their hands busy immediately, rummaging through the boxes of food to reveal the different stock. They indulged in various delicacy's, dried fruit, pastry, bread, cheeses of different flavour, ham prepared with herbs, sundried fish, nuts, and fresh butter and cow's milk.

"Why would they keep all this from us?" Gan Ning exclaimed, amazed at the difference in food quality.

"Probably preserving it for the actual army" Fa Zheng pointed out as he buttered up his bread using his finger. "We're still just recruits remember"

Guan Ping's mind shifted to Yu Jin's demands for him to leave. It made sense after all, the best things were left for the ones who deserved it. Guan Ping sighs lightly. Lu Lingqi sat down beside him crossing her legs, she used a dagger to slice turkey salami and offered it to Guan Ping.

"You don't talk much" She mentioned. Guan Ping smiled as he took it from her.

"You don't either" He points out, and her mouth lightly curves at the edge.

"You carry a dagger?" Guan Ping questioned as they both feasted on the paprika flavoured sausage.

"No" She replied pointing to Gan Ning indicating it was his, it only made Guan Ping wonder more if they had something going on, it was evident Gan Ning was fond of her.

"We should take some to Ma Dai" Guan Ping stated.

"He's probably too sick to eat it, don't worry about him" Lu Lingqi dismissed. "Unless you really want to" She shrugged.

Guan Ping nodded taking a cloth that was covering some of the food and using it to pack a bit of everything.

"Are we done here?" Fa Zheng asked and Lingqi and Ping nodded as he knotted the cloth together.

Lu Lingqi turned to Gan Ning, and Fa Zheng rolled his eyes. "Don't even ask him, you know he won't finish till tomorrow"

Gan Ning stuffed his pockets with some more food. "I'm done" He pouted with cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk and pockets heaving that his belt is barely holding his trousers up. Lu Lingqi put her hand on her mouth chuckling softly and then composing herself quickly.

Guan Ping furrowed his brows and smiled a smirk appearing on his face too.

"Let's go" Fa Zheng face palmed and led the way.

The four made their way back to the dorms to deliver the food to Ma Dai, Guan Ping knocks and the rest wait, Gan Ning continues to stuff his face that even Lingqi knots her brows worriedly.

There was no response from inside, Guan Ping knocked again.

"I don't think he's here" Fa Zheng pointed out sternly.

"He could be sleeping" Guan Ping wondered.

"We can give it to him in the morning" Lu Lingqi shrugged unbothered and eager to head off to their next task.

"Come on" Gan Ning led on too, Guan Ping followed quietly, they left the food bag in Fa Zheng's room on the way out and exited the building like thieves in the night.

They headed to the stairway leading to the top of the walls, there were guards scattered around the area. By their relaxed attitudes, it was evident that not much activity took place at night and it was not required for them to make the effort to patrol as intensely. Some guards chatted away, others played cards and a pair dangled their feet from the top as they watched the dark silent world from above.

The four waited for an opening, one of the male guards pulled down his pants and proceeded to use a bush as a make-do latrine. The group hesitated Fa Zheng and Gan Ning looked at each other, each waiting for the other to give the word. The idea is compelling till they're there, and fear chains them back, but not Guan Ping, he is impulsive and runs for the stairs, the rest look at each other in panic, but Lingqi decides she will run next, and Gan Ning and Fa Zheng chase after too. The stairs are huge and high up to climb but they race up and the guard only notices by the time he's finished killing the shrubs with his impure liquid.

"Hey get back here!" He yells, barely moving fast enough to mean it.

Guan Ping almost stumbles a few times, he pauses for a moment looking from above, only half way there and the world felt like it was shaking under him, probably best to not look down from that high up. He breathed in and looked behind him, Lu Lingqi furrowed her brows looking worried as she tried to catch up. Guan Ping turned and continued, the air was calling him up. The wind was in his hair as he ran, this is what it feels like to be alive.

He took his first step to the top. The world looks grand, full of mysteries, full of so much passion, he steps on his heel again and continues to race down the wall now, it's exhilarating, its freeing. The gales were stronger up top, like a force that pushes against you, but he fights it and runs towards it. The freshness of the night breeze fills their lungs bringing them back to life.

How is it that the darkness is so beautiful?

Outside the walls is total blanket of blackness that covers every edge to the seams, hues that are soul-songs to what has passed and what will come. But the inner walls, they are different, the night sky is aglow with the city lights, the walls they are solace, they are their angel wings wrapped around its child protecting earth as she dreams.

Guan Ping paused to wait for the others, he tightened his headband as he looked at the world below. Lu Lingqi paused when she reached him, putting her hands on her knees to catch her breath, she gasped lightly as a strong gush of wind almost blew her off but Gan Ning took her arm firmly.

"I got you princess" Gan Ning comforted and Lu Lingqi pulled her arm away.

"Don't call me that" She scolded then her face lit up as she looked down below. "Woah" She mumbled in amazement.

Fa Zheng placed his hand on Gan Ning as he paused for breath too, and then sat down dangling his feet from above. "Aint she a beauty?" He gaped in astonishment, running his fingers through his hair, as his brown eyes glistened. "Ha" He scoffed at the ethereality of the night.

They longed to be on top of that wall to see what's on the other side, but once they were up there it was only what was inside that was important. The outside it was silent, it triggers a deep thought of fighting to stay afloat, trying not to drown in the cruelty of mother nature and its mysteries. Now humanity would know to walk away, but it was a magnetic force that couldn't be broken, to feel the need to go after the grievers, to contest them over freedom, over peace and safety. Who did it all belong to in the beginning of time?

The grievers roamed to inhibit security, to inhibit the access to earth in all its glory, stories do repeat themselves, Adam has his eve within the walls, but he reaches for the whole damn apple even if he knows it's filled with rotting worms.

This was our world, and that was their world. But we ask for more, because we believe that we are more, that we are more deserving.

I don't know if I beg to differ, and most the time I don't know what I even believe, but I'm told we have something good, and the books, the books teach that greed ends badly always.

Are we greedy? Do we desire too much?

Guan Ping looked heavenward, the motion of the wind made the ends of his headband sway behind him.

We were young, inexperienced and excited about life, all I ask is that the hope for better inside us never dies.

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~Flowergirly