Chapter 16
The night passed without any incident and Lyanna managed to sleep through it without a single disturbance.
She was awoken the next morning by the rustling sounds Anya made as the general rose from the bedroll next to the nightblood princes in the small tent.
When she cracked her eyes open with reluctance, Lyanna noticed with a frown that it must be way before sunrise. She groaned slightly as she sat up in her own bedroll. Thankfully, the rest had dulled the pain within her stomach to a dull ache and she hoped it would stay this way.
"Do you always rise so early?" Lyanna inquired in a grumbled tone as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was not used to getting up early. The kingdom in which she had grown up, had not known natural light sources as it was located beneath the surface of the earth. She had never had many obligations and none of them had been at the crack of dawn either. Thus, she was used to sleeping however long she wanted and starting her days lazily and slow.
She saw the general twist slightly to face her. Due to the lack of light, Lyanna could not make out her features though as the general said "First training would have started at least an hour ago already".
Lyanna sighed under her breath. The little comment was enough to once again drive home the message that her life had changed tremendously already and would continue to do so in the unforeseeable future.
"You will not be required to train physically for a little while longer," the general said in an almost soothing tone as if she had been able to read the princess's thoughts.
Lyanna nodded her mute acknowledgement into the silence between them and as the other woman stepped into the other part of the tent, she got up from her bedroll as well. There was little sense in trying to rest longer.
While Lyanna splashed some fresh water into her face and started to chew on some mint leaves, someone appeared in front of their tent, summoning the princess to the commander's tent. She was a little startled that the summon obviously did not include the general and she worried momentarily about what this meeting was supposed to be about. She had not asked the general yet if the commander could just switch up her decision to keep her alive and have her executed instead.
Anya must have sensed her growing unease and the general held her up for a moment before she followed the summoning.
"There is nothing for you to worry about" the general reassured the nightblood princess in a kind tone. She would return to the training pits while Lyanna was with the commander.
Lyanna did not retort anything verbally but merely inclined her head. She did not understand the nature of the relationship between the general and commander well enough yet to say anything and the warning to watch what she said about the brunette leader was still ringing loudly through her mind, so she kept her tongue instead. She guessed that she would get enough opportunities to try and get to know the woman behind the role of the commander.
The man who was summoning her actually turned out to be Gustus. Lyanna only greeted him with another nod. In truth, the bulky man made her uneasy and she felt way safer in Anya's close proximity.
It seemed the guard had no intention to speak to her either and just led her over to the commander's tent in silence, motioning her inside.
To Lyanna's surprise, the commander was sitting at a table within the tent, breakfast laid out in front of her and she immediately noted that the table had been set for two. It seemed the commander intended to share breakfast with her.
"Come inside and sit" the commander greeted her in a neutral tone.
Lyanna stepped closer quickly and sat down on the chair behind the second laid-out plate. She took in the commander's appearance as she sat down.
The brunette woman was clad in a simple black shirt and her youthful features were free of the black paint for the moment. Lyanna thought she appeared even younger now without the bulky shoulder pauldron and without the war paint sharpening her features. She found that the young woman's green eyes were as sharp as ever though and she squirmed a little in her seat when she noticed that the commander had caught her staring.
Lyanna cleared her throat awkwardly and she was thankful that the commander chose not to comment on her behaviour, instead asking after the healing of her gunshot wound in an almost kind tone. "It seems to be healing rather well" Lyanna answered immediately. It was true, the pain was still just a dull ache and it had not noticeably increased either yet. She could not remember ever having had such a serious wound before in her life, but she had seen others been wounded during her education as a healer and the speed at which she was healing, was a mystery to Lyanna as well.
Lexa on the other hand hardly appeared surprised at all "Nightbloods do heal faster. You did not know that?".
Lyanna shook her head with a confused expression. It had been rare that someone from the royal family was seriously wounded, so, she had no comparison. She explained this to the commander with a thoughtful tone "I can only compare my wound to those of patients I have tended to, but none of them was of the royal family".
"And the nightblood was solely restricted to your family?" the commander checked, although Lyanna thought to have already explained that previously.
The princess nodded again "I do not recall a single birth of a black-blooded child outside of the royal bloodline".
"I assume that you have a lot of questions of your own" the commander switched the topic and Lyanna watched her reach out and take something to eat.
She was thankful for it, as it gave her something for her hands to do while she gathered her thoughts and hesitated on how to formulate them into words "Anya cautioned me that I cannot be seen questioning any of your decisions" the princess started and although she kept herself busy with helping herself to some food as well, her eyes kept on darting upwards to the brunette sitting across from her, trying to judge her reaction.
Lexa nodded and her expression had gotten slightly more serious "Anya is correct in that. I cannot allow anyone to openly question my decisions and thus sew doubt among my people".
Lyanna took a bite out of what she assumed to be a kind of cheese and her expression turned blissful for a second as the light cheese all but melted in her mouth.
A smirk pulled at the corners of the commander's mouth, showing her amusement at the princess openly.
"Anya also told me how young you were when you ascended and how long you already are in this position" Lyanna continued when it became clear that the commander would not say anything else. She had understood already why she could not be seen to speak up against the brunette leader.
"And that unsettled you?" the commander asked after a while and her gaze was kind as she contemplated the younger nightblood across from her.
"No" Lyanna retorted almost immediately, but her shoulder slumped a little and she added "Well, maybe" before the commander could say anything.
"You've …" the princess continued but stopped herself and looked down at the plate, biting at her bottom lip for a moment.
"You can state freely what you think when it is just us" Lexa reassured the princess and her expression showed that she actually meant it, once Lyanna looked up again.
"You are not suddenly going to change your mind and change your verdict about me?" Lyanna all but blurted the question which had been burning through her veins since she had been summoned without Anya.
Lexa raised a brow in surprise at the younger nightblood before she shook her head "No, I am certainly not going to suddenly change my mind. My decision has been made and word has spread about it. You are officially a novitiate now, as it is your blood right".
Lyanna furrowed her brows at the last part "What does it actually mean to be a novitiate?"
"For now, it means to you that you will learn from me and Anya" the commander answered easily.
Lyanna's brows remained furrowed though, unsatisfied with this kind of vague answer "What do I all need to learn?" she prodded and her expression turned a little determined to not let this drop. She still wanted to ask about how Lexa's successor would be chosen one day as well.
"A lot" Lexa answered honestly "You will need to learn our language and culture probably the quickest. Followed by fighting techniques. There are of course a lot of other things, politics, hunting, tracking, strategies, and warfare. You will need to become a warrior and quickly at that" the commander's tone was neutral, as was her expression as she spoke.
Lyanna sensed though that it was not all yet and that for some reason the brunette hesitated to tell her everything "What else?" she prodded, trying to force a brave expression on her features. In reality, the list already sounded extremely long and she could not yet imagine learning all of this in a short time span or at all for that matter.
"There are certain aspects of the training which will appear…" the commander indeed seemed to be choosing her words extremely careful at this point "…extreme".
Lyanna tilted her head slightly to the side, narrowing her eyes at the brunette leader. She had no idea what the other woman was speaking about and it unsettled her how Lexa was speaking. Thus far, she had gotten the impression that Lexa was rather blunt and honest in her words and this behaviour appeared weird now.
The commander seemed to tense a little before she continued to speak "Your foreign origin will spike interest in the enemies of my rule if it has not already". Her green eyes shone with sympathy while she spoke.
Lyanna contemplated the words for a moment "I do not understand" she finally said with a shake of her head, failing to make a connection.
Lexa sighed visibly before she elaborated "The lessons of every novitiate also include being tested physically and emotionally".
Lyanna listened to the words intently and she nodded with a cautious expression. Her stomach seemed to form into knots as the meaning of the commander's hesitation slowly formed within her mind.
"All of us needed to learn how to withstand testing situations" Lexa continued to explain and a shadow seemed to pass over her features momentarily "Hunger, thirst, cold, torture".
Lyanna's eyes got wide as she swallowed against the lump within her throat "Torture?" she echoed in a weak tone "You've been tortured?". It had not failed her to notice that the commander had used the word "us" in her explanation.
Lexa's features did not show any expression as she nodded "It is necessary in case a novitiate is taken by an enemy. Novitiates learn secrets during their training which have been protected for generations. And a commander can always be taken in an attempt to change the rule".
Lyanna's head was swimming a little from this piece of information, but she nodded again. Her eyes had turned sad at the matter-of-fact way Lexa had delivered this explanation as if had meant nothing to be tortured for this purpose. "I am sorry," she said the first thing which was on the forefront of her mind now in an emotional tone.
It was Lexa who furrowed her brows in visible confusion now, they were interrupted at this moment though as a handmaiden entered the commander's tent with the intent to do the brunette's hair.
"Do you have other questions?" Lexa asked while she continued to eat.
Lyanna nodded, but she waited for the commander to confirm that she could still speak freely with the handmaid being with them in the tent before she stated "How is a commander's successor chosen?".
"What has Anya told you about the matter so far?" Lexa asked instead of answering the actual question.
The nightblood princess shook her head in the negative "She told me nothing, she said that you would explain it to me soon enough".
"The commander's spirit chooses its own successor" Lexa explained in a firm tone "It guides and strengthens the future commander during the conclave".
"Conclave" Lyanna repeated the foreign word "What is that exactly?" She thought it might have been an assembly of tests of sorts, but the mention of strength had put that into question now.
"The nightbloods fight each other in the conclave" Lexa answered in what might have been a pained voice.
Lyanna saw the momentarily far-away look within the commander's green eyes and goosebumps formed on her arms in response. She could imagine that such a fight could only be decided with death.
An image flashed up in front of her mind unbidden. She imagined how Lexa might have looked as a mere child, clad in armour, with a sword in hand probably appearing too large for her body, covered in black blood.
The food on what she had still been chewing turned to dust in her mouth and Lyanna felt sick all of a sudden. She did not know yet just how many nightbloods there were currently. Anya had already told her though that Lexa as the commander had brought forth a law that all children born with black blood were brought to the capitol to be educated together there. She did not know though if Lexa herself had grown up with the novitiates as well.
It took her a moment to be able to speak again and she was keenly aware of the commander's green eyes resting on her heavily. "The other novitiates…" she had to swallow once again before she could continue "… did you grow up with them?"
Lexa seemed honestly surprised by the question, but she nodded "They were like my brothers and sisters".
Lyanna looked away for a moment, shocked at the honest answer and its implication of it. Her heart ached terribly for the young girl the commander had once been. She did not think yet about the fact, that it may very well be her one day, facing whoever the novitiates right now were. It was easier right now to focus on Lexa instead. "I am truly sorry," she said honestly and her eyes glistened with a sheen of tears "I cannot imagine how…" her voice trailed off as she thought of Lexa at her conclave again.
Lexa shook her head slightly and a small smile lightened her features "It is in the past, Lyanna, and unfortunately there is no other way to choose the next commander yet."
"Yet?" Lyanna echoed, picking up on the fact immediately that Lexa obviously did not wish for her novitiates to go through the same kind of conclave "There may be another way one day?".
"Maybe" Lexa answered in a vague tone "You will be prepared for the traditional conclave though" she cautioned the nightblood princess and her expression turned serene again.
Lyanna nodded and swallowed forcefully again. She would think about this more in the future for sure, but somehow, she was glad to know now. This would not get any easier to learn later. She was left to wonder just how Lexa had been able to survive all this and come out the strong leader she was now as the handmaid finished with the commander's hair and she was dismissed from the commander's tent with her as Lexa had duties to attend to now.