"Hey, everyone! You guys are all eating lunch here, how come?"
Chika Fujiwara was all smiles, humming as she strolled into the student council room, meeting the entire rest of the student council right there. Ishigami and Iino were sitting next to each other as usual for them at lunch, Kaguya sat across from them as usual, and Anya sat in between her and Damian as usual. What Fujiwara noticed as unusual, however, was…
"How come the 2 of you have matching lunches?!"
Indeed, what Chika Fujiwara saw was 2 copies of the exact same lunch! Both Anya and Damian had in front of them a terribly mismatched bento with what appeared to be extremely high-class containers with commoner cooking inside of them. Fujiwara wore an expression somewhere between betrayal and interest. The latter won out with a familiar red beret materializing on her head.
Damian swallowed his food and dabbed at his mouth with a tissue before he spoke.
"I had some extra time today, so I ended up making 2. It's not that hard when you're already cooking."
"That's not the point here! Why's your cooking so mismatched? Why do you cook like a middle-class person when you're a member of one of the biggest business conglomerates in the world?"
Upon hearing this, a look of concern appeared on Anya's face. She tried to give Fujiwara a warning-
"Uh, maybe you shouldn't-"
-And was completely ignored.
"Why are you cooking at all when you have world-class chefs at your disposal?"
Anya stared in Damian in horror as he put his chopsticks across his bento, tilting his chin up before looking at the ceiling with a blank, dead look in his eyes.
"I was… I had to make these for a few years of my life. Gosh, I can feel the memories coming back! Waking up at 5 every morning for months on end trying not to mess up a recipe since I'd never cooked before? That became quite the routine… heh…"
Fujiwara raised an eyebrow in confusion before Anya cleared her throat, muttering out a response.
"He had, er, some stuff happen to him in the past."
"Some stuff?"
"He was adopted at one point by the former president's former mother?"
Fujiwara's eyes went wide for a moment before an apologetic, slightly dejected look formed on her face.
"Ah. Sorry."
After the love detective beret disappeared, Ishigami's mind was the only thing filling the silence for Anya.
What should I say now? It's not like there are many topics to choose from, so if I can cheer up Damian-
"So, how'd the 2 of you become close enough to share Bentos?"
You're still asking about that?! - Iino/Ishigami
Indeed, Fujiwara was a woman with almost no tact, BUT, this was not done with animosity!
Her train of thought was simple. First, distract Damian with talk of love, then acquire information about his and Anya's relationship. Boom, win-win! Truly a plan befitting of the student council president.
Seeing her idea, Anya jumped on the opportunity, grabbing Damian's sleeve with a small grin.
"Ah, well, as you might know, Sy-on boy and I went on a date over the weekend, and we've been going out."
…
Everyone turned to stare at Anya with utter disbelief except for Damian who flinched in his seat, keeping his expression as passive as he could.
There were a few moments of silence. Then a few more. Then just another small stretch before Iino was the one to speak up.
"Just how far've you 2 gone?"
Ishigami's curiousity overtook his decency, causing him not to object to Iino's obvious probing.
"Eh? What do you mean by that exactly?" - Anya
"I mean, like, have you held hands? Or kissed? Or- mmph!" - Iino
Ishigami wore a serene smile while holding his hand over Iino's mouth.
"Anyways, it's basically how close you've gotten physically."
"As in, like, proximity?"
Anya's mind immediately went to the time she grabbed his hand and begun to measure the distance between them in her mind while Fujiwara giggled incessantly.
"Oh, come on! They've only been on one date and they're first-years! How close could they've gotten-"
"I'd say about as close as we can get."
This time, even Damian was unable to keep his composure. Everyone looked away, red-faced while Anya smiled, blissfully unaware. Kaguya, meanwhile, was giving Damian a death glare.
You dirty scumbag. Taking advantage of an airhead's weakness and naivete? All of the Shijo's are scumbags who resort to dirty tactics to have any success with romance.
After a long silence, Iino was the first to talk by coming over beside Damian and whispering in his ear. Hearing what she said, Damian stood up even more red-faced than before with an angry/flustered expression.
"You're totally misunderstanding everything!"
"Hey, I'm not judging you! I was just wondering why you never told me about anything before!" - Iino
"That's because you're interpreting what she said wrong! All we did was hold hands."
A look of realization came across everyone's face as the rest of the student council breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"Ah, so that's what happened. I was worried that something bad had happened, Shijo-kun!"
Anya was slightly concerned at how Kaguya switched off her murderous aura.
"Besides, we only held hands for a moment. I'd say it's actually tough to even call it hand-holding since it was that short and Anya was just being considerate."
"Hey, it's not as if I didn't like it."
Damian went red as Ishigami, Iino, and Kaguya gave him a smirk.
"W-well, I didn't hate it either, so we're in the same boat… hey, would you stop looking at me like that?"
"Oh, sorry about that. I was just reminded of when Miyuki-san and I first got together! Ishigami-kun and Iino-san just didn't hold back at all."
Fujiwara chose that moment to interject.
"Wait, so how long've you guys been dating?"
"About a week now." - Damian
Fujiwara stared between them, dumbfounded before Ishigami picked up on her cluelessness.
"Wait, are you telling me you didn't know that they were going out?"
"That's not- hang on, how long've you guys known?" - Damian
"I thought that something was going on when he asked us- I mean… uh…"
Ishigami hadn't seen Damian give anyone a death glare before, but there's a first time for everything. Seeing this, he corrected his sentence and train of thought before it was too late.
"I mean that I felt like something was going on last week."
Is Treasury-senpai an informant?
"I know, right? I knew there was something was going on between them as soon as they joined."
Is GA-senpai (General Affairs) a spy?! Wait, calm down, Anya, you've already learned that not all relationships have to have intelligence agents. Think rationally, I mean, Sy-on boy and I have seemed pretty close ever since we joined… I'm doing a really great job at completing the mission, huh? Fufufufu…
Why's she laughing to herself now? X5
Gak! Quick, act natural!
Anya began whistling while looking at a random spot on the ceiling, only serving to further increase suspicion from the people around her.
Quick, think of a distraction… uh… yes, I've got it!
"By the way, you said that we're heading to an arcade after school, right, Sy-on boy?"
"Eh? You didn't have to tell everyone that!"
Fujiwara now had a rather empty expression in her eyes as she watched Damian going red and Anya wearing a cheeky grin with pink cheeks. She ambled over to the president's desk, flopping onto the seat. Kaguya expressed a modicum of concern, raising her voice a tad bit.
"Is everything alright, Fujiwara-san?"
Fujiwara's gaze first went to Ishigami and Iino who had swapped part of their lunches, then Kaguya who had a LINE conversation with Miyuki open on her phone, then back to Damian who had started to pinch Anya's cheeks. She slumped onto the desk, letting out a singular mumble:
"I wanna boyfriend…"
"Again?" - Iino/Ishigami
"Don't give me that disgusted look! You guys aren't going give me that look, right?"
Fujiwara gave Anya and Damian a desperate look for validation…
"Hey, stop that! You're starting to hurt them!"
"I'll stop pulling your cheeks when you shut your mouth!"
The life left Fujiwara's body as she saw Damian still pinching Anya's cheek and Anya making Anya noises while sporting a reluctant smile. Seeing this, Kaguya tried once more to prevent a mental breakdown.
"By the way, at this point, I no longer see why you shouldn't give Mikaido Shijo a shot."
"Eh? I already did that."
"Oh, I see."
…
"Wait, what?!"
Kaguya turned to face Fujiwara who was now fully dead inside. Ignoring this, Kaguya pressed on with her questioning.
"How'd that happen? Did you date? How far did you go? Why didn't you tell me earlier? How-"
Kaguya caught herself and cleared her throat, running through her calming ritual.
"Sorry, I got a little ahead of myself."
"Don't be. Anyways, we went on a date, and it was ok, but then there was this one moment…"
An ominous air began to emanate from Fujiwara and the rest of the student council (including Damian and Anya who had stopped flirting by this point) turned to watch in awe as she said:
"I beat him at bowling… and he didn't trash-talk at all!"
…
"Are you serious?"
Damian gave her a look of utter disgust, his mouth, eye, and nose crinkling at the side.
"Don't look at me like that! A big part of winning to me is seeing the loser's reaction! If they just laugh it off, then I can't feel superior about it anymore!"
Disgust was the single emotion Anya could feel in the room as every stared at Fujiwara, wide-eyed.
"You really are shallow." - Damian
"Actually, as a gamer, I can sort of back her up on this."
Shock was the single emotion Anya could feel in the room as every stared at Ishigami, wide-eyed.
"I mean, it can feel pretty gratifying to see the person you just shot screaming at you and accusing you of hacking especially if they've been mopping the floor with you until then. Watching them freak out when you finally get them is probably one of the best feelings in the world."
Fujiwara began to tear up as her gaze filled with affection.
"Ishigami…"
"Ah, but if you react that way on a date, then you really are a massive di-"
"Shut up already! I wouldn't be a sore loser or anything if I lost, but I'd definitely have a strong reaction than just saying 'aw, shucks, guess I lost' and moving onto the next game!"
"You wouldn't lose either way because you'd try to find a way to cheat. Maybe you should stay single after all." - Ishigami
Fujiwara let out a sigh before decidedly not answering the question.
"Still, it's not just that. I just didn't feel any attraction to him at all."
"Isn't he, like, objectively one of the hottest people at Shuchiin?"
Ishigami looked mildly annoyed at Iino's remark but nodded along nonetheless.
"Well, yeah, but he just didn't do it for me, you know?"
"But shouldn't relationships be deeper than that? Like, physical appearance shouldn't be everything, right?" - Iino
Everyone was silent for a few moments while Fujiwara turned away, looking at the ground.
Why am I the only one here who can't find anyone? Everyone's growing up so fast, but I haven't changed at all… Prez is off in Stanford, Kaguya-san's a lot more gentle, Ishigami-kun's a lot more confident, and Miko-chan's became a lot more open-minded but I haven't improved myself at all…
Anya looked at her for a few more moments before raising her hand.
"Maybe we should take her a bit more seriously. Does anyone have anyone in mind you could send on a blind date with the president?"
"Why should we-"
Damian stopped talking as they all noticed a single tear having fallen onto the ground under Fujiwara's face.
*cough* "Well, in that case, we should probably think of something, shouldn't we…" - Damian
They all wracked their brains for a few moments before a devious smile appeared on Kaguya's face.
"I wouldn't exactly call it a blind date persay, but I do have someone in mind."
At these words, Fujiwara immediately brightened up, jumping onto Kaguya and wrapping her arms around her.
"Thank you, Kaguya-san!"
###
Fujiwara sat at a 2-person table at her favourite local coffee shop with a blissful look on her face. It was still early. School had just ended and Kaguya/Iino had promised to take care of her responsibilities for the day. She wore a white woolen dress combined with beige tights and a pink shirt with a small maroon handbag hanging off of her shoulder.
I wonder who Kaguya-san invited for me? And Why's the cafe so empty today? Did she have to do with this?
The door rang and Fujiwara stood up with stars in her eyes:
"Hello! I'm Chika Fujiwara and it's a pleasure to meet… you…"
And then they locked eyes. The other person calmly strode over to their table, sitting down across from her. Fujiwara stared blankly while they slowly took off their jacket and hung it on the back of the chair. Fujiwara mechanically sat down and rearranged her face into a bright smile, formulating a response in her head.
"I-it's been a bit, huh?"
The other person gave a curt nod, putting her elbows on the table and interlocking her hands.
"It really has, Secretary-chan. Or should I say: Prez-chan?"
Results of today's battle: Inconclusive (so far)