A/N: Thanks for the feedback. I made some updates to the prior chapter.
CHAPTER 23: AFTERMATH
Commander Shepard walked slowly, deliberately, towards the briefing room. Focusing on her steps allowed her to ignore the rising dread in her stomach. She typically tried to ignore glances directed at her while out in public, but today she didn't need to; her thoughts were occupied with other matters. She passed through a pair of ID checks before reaching a security office. The guards there performed stringent checks on her credentials, verifying that she wasn't cleared for unescorted access. She clipped the access badge to her jacket, and two MPs escorted her out of the room, one in front, one behind.
The curved hallway was eerily silent, with sealed doors on either side. She followed the very serious MP in front of her, and a minute later they arrived at double doors. The doors accepted the MP's credentials, then opened to reveal a second set of doors that the MP opened. Shepard glanced inside, half expecting to find a gallows with a noose waiting for her. There wasn't.
"You may enter, ma'am," the MP told her.
The carpeting and paneling in the room stood in stark contrast to the drab shades of grey that colored the rest of the compound. A large oak table, replete with view screens and holoprojectors for each seat, sat in the center. The upper half of the walls held a myriad of displays, each of which remained off.
Three members of the Joint Chiefs, in addition to Admiral Mikhailovitch, sat at the far end. Two members of Alliance Parliament sat next to them, both on the intelligence oversight committee. Three senior diplomats rounded out the attendees. All turned in their chairs to face her. All of their looks were unfriendly.
She stood as straight as her rising nerves allowed. "Lieutenant Commander Shepard, reporting as ordered."
"At ease, Commander," Mikhailovitch responded, his voice even.
"Have a seat, Commander," one of the parliamentarians said.
Shepard did, tentatively taking a seat after a moment and pulling the chair in. She placed her hands underneath the table and subconsciously began fidgeting with her fingers. This would be unpleasant, she knew.
"Commander, with respect to your actions on Noveria…" the other parliamentarian began quietly before defaulting to apoplectic rage, "what the FUCK were you thinking!? Releasing the rachni after they scoured the galaxy two millennia ago!? Do you realize how far back you've set relations with the Council!? A continuation of the First Contact War would be preferable to this!"
The others quickly piled on the vitriol, and Shepard kept her face impassive at the verbal lashing as her anxiety increased. You've heard this before. This is no different, she reminded herself.
"Why didn't you contact the embassy, Commander?" one of the attendees snapped at her.
Shepard winced slightly. Why didn't I contact the embassy? "I…didn't think of it, sir," she admitted honestly.
"Of course you didn't," a man snorted.
"But you sure as hell thought of calling it into the Council right away," another man sneered. "So much for being a human Spectre."
The questioning, mostly consisting of expletive-filled tirades at her stupidity for releasing the rachni, continued for several minutes. What defense Shepard gave for her actions was always interrupted, and she was finally dismissed.
She exhaled as the doors closed behind her and the MPs led her to another conference room. They sealed the door behind her, leaving her alone. She half expected to find an electric chair waiting for her, but there wasn't, as this room had been configured for superluminal communication. She darkly wondered if they would just fall back to a B-vid plot and use that green-tinted poison gas on her.
She didn't realize she had been pacing back and forth for a couple minutes, waiting for the Council to connect to the call. She took a deep breath, standing straight to face the holoprojectors for a minute before she relaxed as best she could.
She didn't know how long it was before the console beeped, informing her that the system was connecting. It then displayed who it was connecting to: the Citadel Council. Shepard stood straight as the link completed, and the three most powerful individuals in the galaxy appeared several moments later.
Arms crossed, Tevos began with anger in her voice, something the commander had never heard from the normally diplomatic councilor. "I first though the fact you released the rachni was some sort of sick joke on your part."
"Releasing the rachni!? Are you fucking insane!? Just what in your spirits-damned head were you thinking!?" Sparatus screamed at her. "How many generations until they overrun the galaxy again!?"
Shepard stood silently as the three councilors continued to express their disapproval for her decision, putting her hands behind her back so she could hide their fidgeting. Even Valern got in on the act. "The queen played you for a fool, Commander," the salarian said coldly. "She wanted to flee so the rachni could hide, breed, and strengthen their numbers for an attack on Port Hanshan. Once they get off-world, they will be difficult to stop."
"You are a pathetically naïve imbecile! How in spirits' name did you even get past your childhood education, much less your military academy?" Sparatus snapped at her. "Your people were still wallowing in their own shit when the rachni scoured the galaxy!"
After another couple minutes of more vitriol, the call reached its conclusion. "I hope your decision doesn't return to haunt us, Commander. Our children's children will pay the price if it does," Valern responded.
Shepard didn't even bother asking them for any information on Saren, and the comm link went dead a moment later. The three councilors' holograms faded. She let out a long breath, closing her eyes. "Shit," she muttered. She knew she would receive backlash for her decision, but she hadn't expected this level of vitriol.
But she couldn't have killed the rachni queen. Her conscience couldn't let her kill the last of a sentient species. Maybe another egg existed out there, waiting to be found. But maybe this was truly the last of the species. Maybe the queen wouldn't survive with the cold on Noveria, but rachni survived just fine on their toxic homeworld, the name of which she couldn't quite remember at the moment.
She took a minute to compose herself before leaving and the MPs escorted her towards the facility exit. This time several civilians were walking the opposite way, and all looked in awe at seeing the first human Spectre.
Clearly you don't know the decision I made a few days ago, she thought sourly. The only reason I'm not being thrown to the wolves is the fact that suddenly dismissing the first human Spectre would require a good explanation, and as a result the truth would come out.
A surge of worry rose up in her chest. Due to her decision regarding the rachni, the Council had apparently dismissed all of the data they had received from Benezia's drives, Benezia's words, and data on that ship. If Benezia was to be believed, that ship Sovereign had some sort of mind-control capabilities, turning a once powerful matriarch into a thrall. Councilor Tevos didn't even seem too concerned anymore about the corruption of a matriarch, unlike when first being told of Benezia's betrayal. Saren was apparently searching for the Mu relay so he could access the Conduit, but they still knew nothing about what the Conduit actually was.
Although, that data could easily be planted there as a false flag, Shepard had to admit to herself. Benezia could have been lying, been acting, to throw them off course. False information, orders, and deployments had been used throughout military history, and throughout history many opponents had been fully duped by the false flags. As a result, they continued to be used to this day. They would need to get confirmation of the data that Benezia had told them, and what the rachni queen had said about the relay. But…where would they get that confirmation? And how?
She retrieved her omni-tool from the security office, scrolling through her messages with a sigh. To her surprise she had received a message from Garrus. The Normandy had requisitioned rations for Garrus and Tali, but naturally the supply officer at Arcturus was refusing authorization for a turian pick up the supplies that a Spectre ordered. Garrus has asked to talk to a superior officer, and the superior was still refusing to release the supplies. Shepard sighed to herself, and quickly made her way to the requisition office. Garrus was indeed there, with an O-5 that looked frustrated that this turian was taking up her time.
The full commander turned to look at the new arrival, with an upset expression that she would have to deal with yet another interruption. Her expression quickly turned to surprise at the approaching Spectre. While a commander was considered a senior officer and a lieutenant commander technically a junior officer, Shepard was anything but a normal O-4, between the very visible Star of Terra above her breast and being a newly minted Spectre. The shocked O-5 saluted Shepard as she approached; the supply officer was so surprised that she saluted even though she wasn't supposed to. Even after years of wearing the Star of Terra, Shepard still wasn't comfortable getting salutes from higher-ranking officers, especially when they weren't in a situation where a salute was required. The Spectre paused for a moment before returning the salute, asking politely, "Is there an issue with the requisitions for the Normandy, ma'am?"
"Just a minor hang-up with the paperwork, Lieutenant Commander," Commander Elliot responded.
"Ma'am, what's missing from our form RF-19?" Shepard asked.
"From talking with your associate here, I think we've got everything sorted out," the taller woman responded. "We'll get the supplies on board as soon as possible."
"Thank you, Commander," Shepard said with a smile, watching with a bit of amusement as the senior officer hurried off. Probably to go yell at a couple junior officers to get the supplies moving, who would then go yell at NCOs, who would finally go yell at servicemen. No one would want to be the one that held up the first human Spectre.
"Commander, how was your meeting with the Council and your military leaders?" Garrus asked.
Shepard shrugged, looking down. "Could have gone worse, I suppose," she understated, though her posture gave it away. "I figured I was going to get raked over the coals, and they didn't disappoint."
The turian turned to her and asked after a long pause, "What, Commander?"
"Huh?" She paused for a moment, then laughed, grateful for something to focus on instead of her last two meetings. "Oh sorry, it's a human expression," she said before explaining the idiom. "And remember what I said about being off-duty when you first boarded the Normandy?" she reminded him.
"Sorry…Layla. It's all those years of turian discipline and military training. What is that human expression that my C-Sec colleague would always say," he muttered. "Old, uh…shames…die hard?" he asked.
Shepard couldn't help but giggle at the translation failure. "Not quite, Garrus. The saying is old habits die hard."
"Ah, I see. Yeah, I…I guess that makes more sense than what I said," he said deadpan. "Though I was a bit surprised that a human facility had the rations present."
"While it is primarily a station for our leaders, we do have other species here from time to time, including military liaisons," Shepard told him.
"That does make sense. Though I'm not sure I'd want to be the turian liaison on a station full of humans," he replied deadpan.
She chuckled. "I wouldn't want to be a liaison on Palaven. Although I don't think I'd last very long in that environment."
"It is an adjustment for humans, but your species does okay there."
"Let's get back to the Normandy," she said, and the two of them began walking back to the ship. "Have you got a chance to check in with your dad?" she asked him.
"I have." The turian let out a long sigh. "He's still angry at me leaving C-Sec."
She shrugged. "Give him time. How long were you with C-Sec?"
He told her, and Shepard converted the time into human years.
"What was the most interesting thing you've seen?"
"Nothing nearly as exciting as what you would have seen in your special forces."
Marines screamed as she desperately –
Her eyes groggily opened as the batarian –
She didn't respond to Garrus, and it took her mind a moment to force those memories back into the dark box where they belonged.
"Well…I do remember this salarian geneticist I was sent to investigate," Garrus said after a pause. "While…I guess it was interesting in a sense, that case was a bit disturbing."
Concern appeared on her face. "Disturbing how? What happened? Why were you investigating him?"
"I was tasked with tracking black market trade on the Citadel. Most of it was harmless. Nothing I needed to pursue. But during the course of my investigation, I noticed in the increase in the trade of body parts. Organs, mostly. We usually get a few of those, but not the number I was seeing. We weren't sure if there was a new black market lab or if some freak was harvesting organs from citizens."
Shepard looked disgusted at the revelation, and her eyes widened in surprise. "Wait what? You've seen this before on the Citadel? Meaning there's been several people harvesting organs?" she asked incredulously.
"Yeah. Every so often, some labs sell unwanted parts through the black market. But they're not as bad as the psychos. I remember this one elcor diplomat we caught in my first year on the job. He was hacking people up and selling their organs. That one had the Presidium in a bit of a panic," he snorted. Despite the fact many people would be quite offended by the fact some found it darkly amusing, and Garrus lamented the loss of life just as much as anyone else, the turian found dark humor in the fact that an elcor, of all species, attacked people while saying things such as "With uncontained glee: slash." After his arrest, the C-Sec officer remembered the elcor repeatedly proclaiming "Proudly: you'll never find the bodies." Humor, especially dark comedy, made for a good coping mechanism, Garrus always thought.
Shepard looked alarmed at the information. "You mean something was worse than that?"
"Sadly, yeah. The investigation led to a geneticist by the name of Dr. Saleon. So I went to his lab, hoping to find evidence of cloned organ development. But there was nothing. No salarian hearts, no turian livers, not one krogan testicle."
A look of total disgust appeared on Shepard's face, and she was only able to stammer out after several moments of silence, "Wait…w-what?"
"Yeah, some krogan believe that testicle transplants can increase their virility. Counteract the effects of the genophage. It doesn't work, but that doesn't stop them from buying. They'll pay up to ten thousand credits each, forty thousand for a full set. Somebody's making a killing out there!" the turian said, oblivious to Shepard's squicked expression. "But it turns out that wasn't it. The geneticist…" he paused for a moment, now seeing the commander's face. "Is everything alright? You look a little…pale."
"Garrus? Next time you're telling a story, please please please leave out everything about krogan testicles. That has to be one of the most disgusting thing's I've ever heard." she told him with a grimace.
"Sorry Commander – " he started.
"It's okay, but that's something I don't want to hear ever again. They don't make brain bleach strong enough to remove that particular thought from one's mind," she told him.
"Yeah, it is a little gross," he nodded in agreement.
She chuckled for a brief moment. "Much more than a little gross," she corrected. "Let's move on from that topic for…well, forever. What about that geneticist?"
"I brought in some of his employees for questioning. One of them started bleeding profusely during the interview. We offered to patch him up and he got frantic. He…what is the human expression? Freaked out?" Shepard nodded in confirmation. "I ordered a full exam to find out what was going on. Our medics found incisions all over his body. Some of them fresh. That was our big break. These people weren't just Saleon's employees. They were his products."
"So he was growing organs inside of them…" Shepard started. She still looked disturbed and grossed out, but for a very different reason.
"Exactly. He cloned their organs right inside their own bodies. Then he harvested them and sold them off. Most of the victims were poor. He'd pay them each a small percentage of the sales, but only if the organs were good. Sometimes an organ wouldn't grow properly, so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, but only on the inside – hidden so nobody could see it."
"That's…that's horrible," she said quietly, pulling her arms across her chest as they slowly walked towards the ship. "What happened when you caught him?"
"That's the worst part," he said with a shake of his head. "We never caught him."
"Wait what?" Layla exclaimed quickly, snapping her body around to fully face him as she stopped dead in her tracks, anguish on her face at hearing the news.
Garrus sighed. "He ran. Blew up his lab, and headed for the nearest space dock. By the time I found him, his ship had already left with several of his so-called patients," he finished.
"But you went after him anyway, right?" she asked, finishing the question with hope in her voice.
"No. I wanted to, but my supervisor said we do not have jurisdiction, and passed it off to other police forces. I ordered the Citadel Fleet to track him and open fire, but the order was countermanded. They were worried about civilian casualties," he scowled.
She nodded sadly, with a shake of her head, remaining silent for several moments. "I guess that makes sense—there's no good choices there, only less bad ones. That close to the Citadel, the high-velocity debris would hit the Wards, along with missed shots."
"What?" the turian asked, surprised. "But he can get away if you don't shoot! How many more people can he harm?"
"You send ships after him to board it and rescue the people he's harvesting," the commander responded. "And you can't open fire that close to the Citadel—what if you miss and hit the Wards or another ship? You follow him and disable his ship."
"But they never did! They refused to follow up," Garrus protested.
She sighed, looking down. "I would have sent the – " she stopped suddenly and closed her eyes with another sigh. "Do you have any idea what happened to him?"
"I send out feelers from time to time, hoping to find something. I found him a while back. He'd changed his name to Dr. Heart—his idea of a joke, I guess," he frowned. "But he was able to get away cleanly."
Shepard remained silent for a while. "You're still querying C-Sec databases for any results?"
"Yes," Garrus responded.
"If you get any responses or information on where he is at, please let me know. We'll check it out if at all possible," the commander told him.
"Thank you, Com—Layla," he said, pausing for a moment before asking his next question. "Would…would you please bring me with you if we find him?"
She smiled up at him and said softly, "Garrus, do you even have to ask? Of course you're coming along when we find him. Not if. When."
The two of them had reached the Normandy's dock, and they saw that their requisitions had already been piled up near the door to the ship. "Huh," Garrus commented. "There must have been a lot of yelling and screaming to get things moving that fast."
She laughed. "Do the turian armed forces work that way? Yelling from non-commissioned officers that moves its way down the ranks?"
"Yeah, there is a fair amount of yelling, no matter whether you're on a station, a ship, or a garrison."
"Even on small ships?" she asked.
"Yeah, even our smallest ships have pretty tight discipline. Officers and enlisted mostly keep to themselves. That's why I was a little surprised upon coming on board the Normandy. It seems to be run pretty differently."
"It is run pretty differently," Shepard confirmed. "I prefer to keep things informal and on a first name basis, anyway. And the crew is all top-notch, so yelling isn't needed to maintain discipline."
"True," Garrus agreed.
Shepard then broke out into laughter, shaking her head. "'The beatings will continue until morale improves!'"
Garrus looked confused until the commander explained the origin and the humor behind the self-defeating phrase.
"In addition, our smaller ships normally are much more relaxed between enlisted personnel and officers, since we can be deployed for weeks with the same thirty to forty people. The Normandy has even a smaller crew than that, where people will need to be competent in both running the ship and in a firefight. And our ship doesn't have separate messes for officers and enlisted, and no wardroom, just the crew mess. We just don't have the space."
"I was expecting some form of yelling on the ship, though," he responded.
Shepard grinned as she turned to face him, putting a hand on her hip. "Garrus…do you really think that I would do a good job at yelling?" she asked him with an amused look and a raised eyebrow.
"Yes," he instantly responded with a nod. "I've seen a couple of your outbursts."
Her grin faded when she replied, "That's just the dark energy flaring that's intimidating." Her full grin then returned. "But the yelling part…no, I'm terrible at it. You've probably heard me; I don't 'yell' so much as 'squeak.' If I ever have to get someone to do any real screaming for me, I'll find Alenko, you, or Wrex."
The two of them entered the ship, continuing to joke, the commander glad for the talk to distract her from the stress of the fallout of her rachni decision.
Shepard had to review a couple classified documents. Upon reading them, she didn't know why they bothered classifying them. She could understand keeping secret the fact that geth ships had been occasionally hitting isolated unmanned freighters, and hacking into remote fuel depots to refuel, though she felt it would be better to inform the transport and shipping companies to allow them to take corrective action. But the fact they don't have any more leads on Saren, or any more signs of geth, was classified? She figured the Alliance probably would want to keep classified the fact that they didn't have any assets or capabilities in place that could track the geth or Saren. Or they did know something, and she wasn't cleared for it. She wondered if there were things that were being withheld from her due to her Spectre status, since she also had an obligation now to report to the Council.
She closed out the comm room and left the vestibule, and nearly walked right into Lieutenant Alenko. He had just left the small, one-person private comm room reserved for personal use for audio and video calls.
He immediately noticed her expression, and though he had only known her a couple weeks, he could see that she was stressed. "How did the briefings go?" he asked her.
"Could have been worse," she shrugged.
He could tell she understated it. "They were angry, weren't they?" he asked quietly.
She closed her eyes for a moment before replying. "Extremely."
He sighed. "I've been in a couple of those. They're never pleasant."
She nodded, pausing before averting her eyes. "So…who did you catch up with in the comm room?"
"Just my folks and my brother," he replied.
She nodded, still looking past him. Kaidan regarded her for several moments. "Layla, what's on your mind?"
She sighed. "That decision." Her stomach growled slightly, and would have been inaudible except for the silence on the ship. She chuckled slightly. "And food, apparently."
"Well, let's go rectify that," he responded with a snort. Both officers made their way to the mess.
Kaidan watched her suddenly stop partway down the stairs to the crew deck, putting her arm out across his chest to stop him as well. In a moment it was clear why Shepard wanted him to halt.
There were at least three people at the mess, based on the different voices at the table. And after another moment, the lieutenant learned the topic of conversation at the table: the Normandy's commanding officer.
Shepard listened to the conversation for several moments and a grin quickly spread across her face. She put her finger to her mouth to indicate silence, and then covered her mouth to suppress a case of the giggles – she wanted to be completely silent. She walked slowly and carefully down the stairs.
"I had heard on Elysium that she had wiped out an artillery detachment entirely by herself," one of the crewman said.
Shepard and Alenko turned the corner to see seven crew present, plus Liara, Garrus, and Tali, all of whom appeared to be chatting informally in the trade language. Ashley was off to the side, finishing preparations for her meal. She was facing the doorway to the stairs, and looked to see who had descended. The chief's expression turned to one of wide-eyed dread, as the people present were gossiping about their CO and had been caught red-handed. The expression of wide-eyed surprise lasted less than a second when she saw the expression on her CO's face. Shepard was trying her hardest not to burst out in laughter. The chief looked away as a grin spread across her own face.
"She is certainly…intriguing," the asari agreed.
"And she's an N7. It's nearly impossible to get into N-school, much less graduate, much less make it to the highest proficiency."
Shepard stood in the open, and two crewmen looked and realized that their CO was right behind their shipmates, listening to the whole table gossip about their CO. Their faces went red, while one of them continued talking about her exploits. The two that had seen her approach tried to get the attention of the talking crewman, first gesturing and then hitting their colleague. The crewman fell silent mid-sentence as everyone at the red-faced and completely embarrassed table looked wide-eyed toward the commander.
She stood silently for several moments, one hand fully covering her mouth. Suddenly she couldn't hold it in longer and burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
"I'm sorry," Shepard said after several moments. "I wanted to hear what you all were saying."
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, I…" one crewman started, face red in embarrassment at the fact he had been gossiping about their CO.
Shepard dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about it. I know crew engage in harmless gossip about their CO." She grabbed a large glass of water and moved to an open chair.
"But, well…"
"You think that I've never done that before?" she asked with a grin.
The expression of the crew present changed from dread and embarrassment to relief and surprise that Shepard didn't seem to care about being the target of "lower-deck" gossip.
"What about me were you all discussing?" their CO asked them as she took a seat next to Williams. There was only one open seat remaining, which was next to Shepard, and the lieutenant took it after grabbing his own drink.
"Your…biotics," one said after a moment. "Most of us haven't served extensively with biotic soldiers."
She shrugged. "We're really no different than non-biotics, except we can use dark energy to do things as well."
Liara paused for a moment before stating, "But it is rare that someone has the biotic power to be immune to biotic attacks."
"Especially from asari," Garrus added.
Shepard paused before replying. "Much of biotics is about focus, concentration. And practice," she said, her eyes shooting a quick glance to her quarters. Tali watched the commander's expression closely; she looked a little uncomfortable at the topic. "And, well, a lot of luck along the way. I had such a high eezo exposure early in the womb that the doctors are still shocked I survived. They said such an amount should be certainly fatal to a baby. My parents did everything they could to see that I would survive," she said quietly, remaining silent for several moments. "I was sick and bedridden an awful lot as a kid." She explained what she had told Wrex earlier in the day.
"But you can destroy armored vehicles," Liara began. "I looked up the details of the battle on Elysium, and – "
"What?" Shepard asked a bit loudly in surprise as her blue eyes shot wide open at the comment, causing the asari to close her mouth. "You…did?" she asked, this time quietly.
Liara blushed and looked down as she fiddled with her hands, and she paused for a moment before answering. "Well, um, yes," she replied, awkwardly, embarrassed as her blue face flushed purple.
The room was suddenly very quiet, as everyone wondered how Shepard would react. She remained silent for what seemed to be an eternity, staring at Liara before slowly looking around the table.
Then the commander's face broke into a grin. "Now I'm curious. How many of you actually did search for me? Be honest, I don't mind if you did," Shepard told them. It took several moments, but three of the seven crewmembers present slowly raised their hands, along with Tali, Liara, and Garrus.
Thank God I didn't, Alenko thought to himself as Shepard briefly glanced over to see if he had searched for information about her. He had been tempted to look briefly at the GalactaPedia page on her, innocent-like – he often would briefly scan articles of interest to him, but had decided against it. Extranet traffic on Alliance ships was always tracked and recorded.
She paused again for a moment before speaking. "I've got a chance to say this to all of you, and I will say it again. You can always ask me anything. My door is always open: for suggestions, for questions, for concerns, and for conversation." Her face broke into a grin once again and she chuckled. "Now I'm even more curious. What specifically about me were the rest of you searching for?"
One crewman spoke up. "I…was wondering about N-school. You both went there," he said, looking at both Shepard and Alenko. He paused for a moment. "I guess…what was it like?"
"Tough," Alenko said.
"Painful," Shepard said.
The two had spoke at the exact same instant, producing a few brief chuckles around the table. Shepard grinned and said, "Go ahead, Alenko."
"It was the toughest thing I've ever done." He described for several moments, then turned to Shepard.
She nodded at his description. "Your entire body hurt, every bone, every muscle, felt like they were on fire. And no rest at all." She turned to the lieutenant. "Did you make it through the first time?"
"I didn't," he replied. "I made it through four days of hell week before my legs just gave out."
"That's much better than me. I literally collapsed and actually passed out just two days into hell week. My biotic metabolism simply couldn't take the physical exertion without rest and food. The medics had me rest and sent me home."
"You didn't make it through N-school the first time?" a crewman asked the commander, a bit surprised. This was Shepard, and the stories about her were that she never failed at anything, that she was an unstoppable force of nature.
"Not even close," she replied with a shake of her head. "They can and will pull you aside for your own health, since some people have so much drive they can literally pass out in the attempt to advance – like me. And the instructors would really prefer that someone not die on their watch. But very few make it to N1, and even getting invited to N-school is considered a great honor. And they're willing to bring you back if you had to be discharged for medical reasons, though they keep a very close eye on you. I was invited back several months later after more conditioning, and made it through that time. Though barely."
"What was the hardest part?" Ashley asked.
"I simply don't have the raw physical strength that most other invitees have. That's why you see…well, so few women get invited," she said. "I did fine for anything involving shooting, hacking, tactics, mock engagements. I did quite well with cardio, especially considering the top conditioning of the other folks present, on things like running, sprinting, and swimming. But I really struggled with overall body strength. Lifting things without biotics was a real challenge. You try to lift things with your legs, but sometimes that just isn't possible. And where I had to lift mostly – or just – using my 'noodle arms', well…that's where I really struggled, and where I simply had to use my biotics."
"So they allow use of biotics there," a crewman stated for confirmation.
"They do to a limited extent, but you can't just skip past something using your biotics. You can use biotics to augment your strength, but you can't use them to solely replace your strength, if that makes sense. That's where I developed much of my finesse with my biotics: to get through N-school and specifically hell week. Because someone needs to be able to pick up something weighing more than them," she said. "So since that's a major problem for someone my size, I learned to use my biotics to augment my limited physical strength to complete tasks. The stereotype of the folks that pass is that they are all enormous people. But that's usually not the case. Average sized people often do really well...well, comparatively well, since nearly everyone isn't able to pass," she stated. "Less mass to haul around; they burn fewer calories for the same activity or distance traveled. Though being a petite girl, I was the smallest invitee to both classes by a large margin."
"How much did you use your biotics, L-T?" Williams asked.
"I definitely had to several times," he responded.
"Helps that you're 850 or so newtons instead of 425 newtons," Shepard said with a grin and a light elbow to his forearm.
"It does, though it makes climbing with that pack and swimming harder. I would have given a lot to be able to halve my weight for that part," Alenko replied. She's only 425 newtons? Wow she is tiny… and she was pretty much spot on with my weight, he thought to himself. How could she have been nearly spot on about his weight…well, she could have just doubled her own. Her soft voice shook him out of his musings.
"What did you think was the hardest part?" Shepard asked Alenko, gazing into his eyes.
"Swimming to get into position, then having to run and fight after that long swim in hell week. That's where I got really dizzy. That swimming was rough," he responded. "What did you think of the ambush training after all that exercise and swimming?" the lieutenant asked his fellow N biotic.
"I actually thought it was a relief. Anything was better than dragging all that weight around using just your arms, and only using limited biotics. I thought my shoulders would simply disintegrate, my arms fall off." She turned to Alenko. "I'd like to hear your experiences sometime – it's always interesting to talk about hell week now that we've completed it," she said with a smile. "Well, that's enough about N-school. My shoulders are starting to hurt from just thinking about it. What else? Anything not about special forces training."
Tali started after a moment's hesitation, "Um, I…I wanted to know about…the award you got for Elysium. The highest human award for valor."
"The Star of Terra? Many other people deserved it that day, but they gave it to me." Her tone was slightly more guarded than when she discussed special forces training.
"Why?" the quarian asked.
"There was supposed to be a ship protecting the system, but the ship wasn't there. They wanted to heap praise on someone who survived the onslaught. As to why they gave it to me, I'm not sure. I just was trying my hardest to stay alive, save as many colonists as I could, and where…to…well, somehow not to become a slave in the process," she finished quietly, looking down. Her tone and expression had changed significantly from when she was discussing N-school, and both were filled with…frustration, sadness, and something that sounded like apprehension.
"But you saved the colony," Liara said. "I read up on the details of the Blitz. What happened during the battle. What you did there was nothing short of amazing! I wanted to learn more about just what you did." Liara remained oblivious to the commander's change in demeanor, oblivious to the fact that fighting not to become a slave was, at the very least, a traumatizing experience.
The commander didn't respond for several moments, and Williams found the sudden silence awkward, at a minimum, as social comprehension dawned on Liara. "What specifically did you want to know about it?" the commander responded evenly, quietly, though there was a slight quaver in her voice.
The asari paused, nervously wringing her hands. "Well, I…was wondering…well…"
Shepard looked around the table, to the looks and expressions of the persons present. "Do you really want to hear about Elysium?" she slowly asked the assembled crew.
"Yes!" Garrus answered quickly, wanting to hear about the attack. Given it was a military event, it had drawn significant interest from turians in the Hierarchy. "I mean, if you want to talk about it," he followed up.
She looked at him, a small smile appearing on her face due to his unbridled enthusiasm. "The full story takes some time. Are you sure you want to hear it?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, glancing around the table.
The expressions and responses gave her the answer as a very obvious affirmative.
She paused for a couple moments, then a tight, small smile appeared on her face. "Okay then, you asked for it." She picked up the glass of water, taking a sip before setting it down to the side. She leaned forward slightly, placing her forearms on the table and clasping her hands together. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Okay. Well, it started off…"